Sunday, February 23, 2014

Sunday thoughts

Beautiful day for yoga.  I had every intention of attending an outdoor class with my friend, Christina, today.  That is, until I woke up and it was overcast, peaceful and all too hard to get out of bed.  I choose the heated studio class where I know I can sweat, detox, and sleep in until noon.
Not exactly sleep in but lounge.  The decision to return to industry work has created some stress in my sleep balance.  The last few Fridays, I have closed the bar.  Meaning, I get home after 2 and in bed by 3:30.  I am used to waking up, early, and that has not changed.  I still wake up by 8 or 8:30 which does not allow enough sleep to recover from the physicality of the bar job.  I know I will eventually adjust to the schedule and thrive as I am used to this life.  It's just a transition to the schedule that is challenging.
I close tonight, open tomorrow and work Tuesday evening.  From that point, I am on vacation and very excited about it.  February is always challenging for me. I never quite know how I feel until I am midway through it.  This year, I felt stagnant.  In years past, I have been depressed, anxious, melancholy.  It's never a happy time as I remember what it represents to me--losing someone that meant the world to me.  That hasn't gone away.  It's just not as intense as it once was.
I will meet Shari in Santa Fe and we will celebrate Brian's life.  We will toast his infectious smile with bubbly, great food and conversation.  Of course, there is a bit of spirituality involved, too.  This year, we will head to Ojo Caliente to soak and reflect on life.  Followed by drinks at a lovely spot on Canyon Road and dinner at a French eatery that I have not yet been to.  Some friends will be joining us and I know it will be a wonderful weekend full of memories.  I am thankful that Shari meets me, annually, in a new spot to celebrate Brian's life.  I am so fortunate to have a relationship with her to remember Brian and keep that honest and true.
Work is plentiful, abundant and keeping me focused on upcoming travel.  I hope to do a harvest this year and think I can make it happen.  I just need to put it out there and make it happen. I have made some contacts in the past few years.  I have the ability to reach out and ask to do it.
A friend of mine from Denver ran a half marathon with her sister today.  They had photos posted on fb and all I could think was, I wish one of my sisters and I could do this.  It would be a wonderful way to spend a weekend.  Maybe I could convince them to run a half for my next milestone birthday instead of considering a surprise party for me.  That would be wasted effort on me.  I prefer travel/incredible meal to a surprise party.  Plus, it would be challenging to corral my friends into one place unless I was living in Denver again where it would be considerably easier.  However, my sisters would still have to travel to make it happen.  That could be challenging.
I digress.  Today is a lovely day and I know that Friday will be beautiful too.  It's nice to reflect on where I was, where I've been and where I am.  Never alone and always with an opportunity to flourish.  Cheers!

Friday, February 21, 2014

New shoes

I have sandals, boots and kicks.  Mostly kicks.  Limited, yes.  So, when I dine out I have three options--sneakers, sandals, boots.
I had a day off today and so I thought I could go shoe shopping.  But, where to go?  I hiked Camelback, went to yoga, wine tasted and then shopped for shoes.
I found a few pairs at a thrift shop that I frequent.  Sandals, pumps and wedges.  Super cute.  No boots, though.  I ended up buying three pairs of shoes and walking out in one of them.  About an hour later, my feet hurt and I had a blister on my toe.  I kept walking in the shoes and eventually realized the shoes were broke.  The sole of the shoe is shot. My bad. I think, I should have flipped the shoes over before purchasing them.  I think they can make it to Santa Fe before being dropped off.  I did not find boots.  I check out Macy's, Nordstrom's and My Sister's Closet.  They had boots but not what I was looking for. Plus, by the end of it, I was so over shopping that I couldn't take much more.  I returned home and took a mini nap.  Excellent! Oh, and I dropped off a pair of jeans to be altered too.  Sure, I could have altered them myself but I feared how awful that would have turned out.  And I like these jeans.  My favorite pair which I have not worn in about six months due to the split in the back.
Fabulous day for sure.  Outside of having to buy a $42 sports bar since  I forgot an adequate bra for my yoga class.  I arrived at the studio with the sense that I had forgotten something.  I went in to change and noticed, right away, that i needed a sports bra.  I considered leaving the class but knew the lack of bra was lame.  They had bras for sale.  I wanted to go to the class and could not not buy a bra to fix my problem.
The class kicked my ass.  It was challenging, hot and fun.  I finished and then wine tasted.  I went shopping and had no success.
I am not a fan of shopping.  I get bored, frustrated and give up.  Sure, I could use a new pair of boots.  I should make it a priority to buy some.  I do need a new pair of boots.  I want a new pair of boots.  Perhaps I will make some time to buy a pair in Santa Fe if I am unable to find some here.
Sandals will have to wait.  The nearest location for those are in the southeast Valley and I rarely head that direction.  I sort of have to plan my day to get to that direction.
Today brings more yoga, work and opportunity to enjoy the immense sunshine.  I am stoked.  And, I can sport my new shoes and see how they feel.  I am anti-blister as much as possible.  I must make it work.

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Challenges, Thank you's and upcoming events

In a little over a week, I will be in Santa Fe.  Color me ecstatic!  I do so love it there.  Then, when i return, the Goddess and her hubby will be in town.  I wish that I could spend more time with them but recognize that this is a vacation for them to celebrate their relationship.  I cannot monopolize the majority of their time.  I think we will spend time together on Sunday and possibly one other day before they head back to Denver.
The weather has been beautiful.  I am considering turning a fan on to create some circulation.  It sounds crazy to even think about as it is only February.  Parts of the country are inundated with snow and I am crying about needing a fan.  Doesn't seem right.
Today I went to a yoga class and was pleasantly surprised.  Initially when I had committed to going...meaning, I drove to Phoenix, mentally prepared for the Tuesday instructor, only to find that she had asked for a substitute and that the person teaching it was one of my least favorite instructors.  I thought, crap!  This class is going to suck.  I know that those emotions/thoughts were displayed on my face when I heard the news.  I am extremely transparent when it comes to things I don't care for.  It's always been my very obvious tell.  But, to save face, I told the gals that I would give it a shot and see how this person had improved.
The class started and I tried to keep an open mind.  In child's pose, I got a back rub which scored some major points and sort of kept me in the first part of the class. I like a challenging flow and this person is more simple.  I get it. Sometimes it is nice to return to a more basic flow.  I just don't prefer it.  I want to not think while I am doing yoga.
So, the back rub helped and the heat factor created some good detox for me.  At the end of the class, I got some more back adjustments and so I won't walk away when he subs again.  The class is improving.
Afterwards, I stopped into work to do some maintenance and possibly meet with reps.  Tuesday has been my day to wine taste but the last six months I've been absent from the Tuesday tasting schedule.  I went in to be nostalgic.  One of my reps called me at 4 to see if I was in today.  I responded that I was and that I would be available until 5.
This is the one rep that I have yet to meet.  I waited for awhile for the opportunity to meet him.  Then, I remembered how he completely flaked out on another proposed meeting and left.  I didn't want to wait around on my day off for him to no-show again.  And, I wasn't that interested in wine tasting today.  I had committed to taking a day off to rest my liver.  The weekend had been rough. Wine dinner on Saturday night where the wines flowed, followed by fresh squeezed grapefruit juice mimosas on Sunday night and a dinner date with my friend, Kat, on Monday night, motivated me to take a night off.  On Monday, when I got up to go work a brunch shift, I was resentful of not being able to sleep off my lack of rest weekend.  I am better now and prepared to greet the rest of the week.
Wine lunch tomorrow, Thursday, and lots of work Friday, Saturday, Sunday.  Before I know it, I will be sipping margaritas in SF and concluding my weekend with drinks with Lindsay and Jon.  Life is grand.
On a side note, I received a sweet thank you note from my retail days. An art inspired card that will be one of the most memorable thank you cards ever received.  Definitely started my week off in the best possible way.
Have a lovely moment for you....

Saturday, February 15, 2014

Prospects of Saturday

Ahh, memories, of times past.  I purchased this bottle of deliciousness in 2007.  I was on a road trip from Denver to Seattle, Portland, Napa, Santa Barbara, Las Vegas, Santa Fe and back to Denver.  I think it was two weeks, total, and awesome.  I saw friends, my sisters and made new friends.  Yes, it was a lovely adventure.
I cellared this bottle until 2011 when I parted ways with Denver.  I wanted to make a new start and so I packed my volvo with the majority of my belongings and stored the rest (10 boxes, artwork and my dining room table) at my friend's house.  The Goddess was more than happy to let me store my stuff at her home.
I wine tasted in a few spots in Napa and Sonoma.  I wanted to check out chateau st jean since I had met their wine maker at a seminar in 2006.  I rolled up to the winery and tasted through the wines.  I explained that I was industry and interested, specifically, in visiting them as I had met Margo at a function.  I talked of Denver and a few of the people, working, had lived in Denver.  It seemed like serendipity at that point. I loved the wines and chose this bottle to commemorate the road trip.
I think I was traveling around this time of the year.  February is always melancholic for me.  I've come to terms with the fact that I never know exactly what February will bring.  Some years distraction, depression (to a certain degree), a funk.
This year, I feel, more in tune with the transitory state I am currently in.  I feel, oddly, at peace, with February.  I have been talking about Brian more and sharing that part of my story with new friends.  I have no expectation of how they will react.  I just talk and try to avoid the judgment, if any, that is in their eyes after hearing that part of my life.  I cannot express to whomever how Brian was or how he had no regrets in life.  He truly lived life fully.
This year marks the 8th year since he passed away. I will be celebrating his life in Santa Fe.  I am excited to enjoy the food factor, beauty of Santa Fe and friends.  Shari and I originally had thought we would be in Las Vegas for the occasion.  I enjoy Vegas, I do.  Santa Fe feels more enticing.
I must get up and greet the day.  I have a full day of wine talk and then a dinner with friends.  I am looking forward to this evening very much.  I know that it will be full of yummy wine.
Happy Saturday!!!

Friday, February 14, 2014


My massage last night was okay.  I remember thinking that I should wait til one of the therapists that I enjoy was working.  Stubbornly, I check out a new therapist.
According to the receptionist, the guy was a three like the male therapist that I normally receive treatment from.  I went in with a hope that I would receive a relaxing massage.
The guy is kind, gracious and built like a marine.  I wanted to ask him if he had been in the service but felt it would be inappropriate.  I noticed that he wouldn't look me in the eye and thought that was strange.  At any rate, he asked me what I was looking for in a massage and I told him that I would want to relax, that my day had been full of hiking and yoga and that I wasn't a fan of trigger release therapy.  His response, so you want long broad strokes.  Yes, in fact, I did.
The massage started out okay.  He did do long broad strokes but I could tell it was forced.  He couldn't help but work in some trigger release therapy that by the time I flipped over I was bored and regretting that I didn't wait til the following week to receive treatment.  He worked on my neck, my arms and legs and then mentioned that we were at the end of the session.  He could finish on my feet or was there an area that I wanted revisited.
I chose my feet and that saved the massage.  It was a gift as he seemed well versed in reflexology.  I dressed and he greeted me at the door to reception.  I asked him about his specialty massage and he said--trigger release.
I suppose I should have asked that question when I set the massage up.  All I heard was he is a three and so I thought he would be skilled at massage.  He wasn't terrible.  It just wasn't what I was looking for.  I know there are benefits to trigger release.  I don't like laying through that type of massage.  It just feels like being poked for three minutes at a time for an hour.
I finished my day with a leisurely meal.  In bed by eleven.  It felt great to relax and have no where that I needed to be early.
Happy Friday!  I choose to celebrate the start of this day with yoga.  Happy day to me....

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Thankful Thursday

Absolutely gorgeous day for a hike.  Luckily, I had made plans to meet my friend, Cody, for a hike at 32nd and Lincoln.  I told her that I would meet her at the Starbuck's and then we would begin the hike.  Of course, I was late.  Stupid traffic in Tempe.  It took me about ten minutes to get to the 202 and another fifteen to make it to the 51 north.  I arrived frustrated.  Coffee helped calm me down.
Cody and I began the hike.  It's leisurely.  A nice mix of switchbacks and beautiful scenery.  We got to the spot where you can go up the trail and or down.  I have never went down and so I chose to go that direction.  We went further into the canyon and encountered a few people.  Eventually we reached a high point and I suggested turning back.  We started back and came to a spot where we could go to the right or left.  I didn't remember coming from the left and so we went right.  I suppose this is where I realized we were completely uncertain of the whereabouts.  Still, there were two of us and we could figure it out.
We turned and headed a different direction.  There was a house that appeared and I didn't remember seeing it on the way down.  We kept going and found a road with a gate.  Again, this was new and we reassessed our path back.  We remained calm until I saw a coyote up ahead.  Yes, it was a coyote on a hike as it continued to be ahead of us until we made a bunch of noise and tried to appear large.  The last thing I wanted was to get attacked by a coyote on a trail that we could not figure out how to get out of.
We saw signs for 40th street which I felt would be the smart thing to do.  We started at 32nd and Lincoln and even if we made it to the lot on 40th St, I would be up for walking the mile back to the parking lot.
So, we finally reach a lot.  It says 40th St and we head out of the designated parking area to the street.  We walk several blocks before reaching a major intersection. I didn't recognize any of the streets but felt we were heading towards Lincoln.  We get to the stoplight and it reads Shea.
Complete opposite direction of where we were parked.  In order to get back to our cars, we would need to hike back through the trail that we couldn't figure out, call a cab or someone to fetch us.  Thankfully, Cody's husband picked us up and dropped us off at our respective cars.
It made for a fantastic journey.  I completed my day with a noon yoga class.  Afterwards, I was tired.  I felt beat up and wanted a burrito.  This guy that worked with me at my most recent job mentioned some place at 16th and Thomas that had awesome breakfast burritos. I headed that way and hoped to find the spot.  I gave up, flipped around, and spotted the joint, mid turn of the intersection.  I corrected and entered the restaurant.  I was hoping for a drive through as I reeked from yoga and hike.
That burrito was delicious!  I am so grateful to have found the spot.  It was a lovely conclusion to an active day.  I am off to a massage to complete the day of relaxation.  It's been amazing!

Monday, February 10, 2014

Starting the week

Since Thursday, I have wine tasted, collected a paycheck, done yoga (obviously), met a couple of cool chicks that are opening a new wine bar and settled into the fact that I am ready for the new challenge.  Work has been plentiful and positive.  Really positive.  The last few weeks people have been open with me about how I am an asset for my current job. It feels lovely.  It's nice to be wanted.
I saw a winemaker, tonight, that I met recently.  He was back in town visiting.  We met as he was visiting my retail job and doing a bottle signing.  I was thrilled that he was back in town and that I would have the opportunity to chitchat.
The venue was gorgeous.  Ideal for tonight.  Lovely sunset, beautiful moon...I talked to my winemaker friend and it was nice.  He was distracted by all of the other reps, suppliers, buyers. I felt like one of many in this situation.  Although my only interest was to say hello and catch up.  We did manage a few candid conversations about golf, wine, people before I chose to sneak off.  I was dreaming of dinner, a glass of unadulterated wine and blogging.
As such, I made my standard pasta dish--northern Italy at its finest--accompanied by a GSM blend from California.  Tomatoes, olives, garlic, onion, parmesean tossed with penne.  Delicious.
I feel, semi-bad, that I left without saying goodbye.  However, I know he had grand plans and I wanted to take time for me.  I have his relevant information and know that I can contact him when I need to.
Tomorrow, I scheduled a facial, have yoga and then work.  It's exciting to be part of something new and wine oriented. I can tell that my boss is innovative and exciting.  It's kind of a cluster tomorrow.  I can already tell.  We will see the inventory, pricing, learn the computer and talk to customers.  I am stoked that this opportunity fell into my lap.  Serendipity abundance.
Cheers to you, to Monday and to tomorrow!  Thankfully I achieved the necessary tasks related to work today and can thrive in the meantime.  I see a yoga mat in my future followed by a facial.  Life is grand...

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Looking back

I'm sure that most people have seen the fb movies that have been streaming for the last few days.  Today, I decided to generate mine.  It took all of two seconds and the music was playing.  Showing when I joined fb, early photos that I posted, followed posts and finally photos that I shared.  It was great.  To me, it was.  Covered my love of travel, work friends, family, friends and overlooked the majority of photos with wine in my hand.  Love that small tidbit as most of my photos have me with purple stained teeth or wine insinuating the damage.  Of course there were a few photos that I wish would have been skipped over and a few that I would have liked included.  I wish there had been a photo of me with Brian.
I think that is why I have so many photos, now, of my travel, friends, wine.  When he died, I felt very fortunate to have had so many photos of our life together.  I wanted more though.  I remember the last roll of film that I had developed.  There was one photo of him, a photo of a glass that I broke and the rest are a blur.  The glass stuck out and still does as it was given to me while I was visiting New Orleans with my friend, Sara.  We had went to this great bar on Magazine, the Bulldog, and we were given glasses to commemorate that day.  Safely, I got the glass back to Denver only to have it break in my dishwasher.  Super lame.
At any rate, I greet today with saying yes.  Yes to new opportunity, yoga and drinks with friends.  It is going to be a stellar day.  I am off to a meet and greet with a potential new employer.  Cheers to Thursday!