Happy Halloween

Tonight, work should be interesting.
We have a band playing, the Nacho Men, and everyone is dressing up. I think Tiffany is going to be Wonder Woman, Brie a racquetball ball player, Jimmy a postman and I am a maid.
We had considered Charlie's Angels as an ensemble costume. It sounded great in theory, but it also could have looked like a pimp and three girls in jump suits. A few years ago, we were doctors and nurses which was fun and made sense.
The weather is awesome. I love the fall, but more of an Indian summer style. I went to Solera last night with Tiffany and we shared calamari and truffle mac and cheese. We were entertained by their resident Aussie, where I was reminiscing about my trip and wines that he felt were CRAP, from OZ. Also, my friend, Magon, is now their front house manager which is great for him. He is a great friend/contact for me. I either run into him at Solera or the Falling Rock.
I voted. I was determined to get it down before the election and also I had no desire to stand in line. Thankfully, my ballot arrived and I sent it back on Wednesday. I am so over all of the ads on tv, the radio, the internet. Both parties are guilty of negative publicity and I am sick of hearing about who did what to whom? I am ready for change or I suppose, the possibility of change.
Trick or treat, have a drink or just have fun...

The medium

I met with a medium this morning.
It was great.
I didn't know what to expect. I knew that I would be emotional. Last time, I meditated, focused on pictures of Brian and was determined to embrace that energy. This time around, I was open to anything.
The medium talked about my past lives and present. It is amazing. I support this but understand if you think I am kooky. I guess it is important to me to seek this outlet of my life.
He confirmed that I am on a spiritual path and that inherently, I am a good person. He felt that I would be writing a book in the future and to continue my quest for faith, trust and spirituality.
It is ironic that I had the appointment today since a year ago, I landed in Fiji. I embarked on a different type of journey a year ago, just like I am today.
Best...

A year in review

A year ago, I departed L.A.
My flight was terrible. I sat behind this couple that had all three seats pushed back and I didn't sleep much at all. I arrived, walked off the plane and thought--I cannot believe that I just did this.
It was amazing--all of it--the bed bugs, spider bite that turned into an on-going staph infection, the exhibitionist, the unwanted attempted happy ending massage, and the theft of my first ipod.
I wouldn't change a thing.
At times, I feel that I regressed by returning to Denver. I am working at the Bull and Bush, again. I haven't traveled as much as I would like. But, I feel better in my life. I feel alive and I feel more at peace with Brian.
It is difficult to explain. He was my soul mate and before my trip, I felt that I was ready to be with him, again. If something happened to me, I was okay with it. I would be with him.
When I traveled, I realized that there is more to discover. I am not ready. But, I know that he is with me and we will meet again.
Being here is where I need to be. I see changes in my life and that wouldn't have happened had I not traveled or returned to Denver.
Fiji was the ideal place to begin my adventure. Bula! Salud and Cheers. Enjoy your night.

Silver Oak 2000

Last night, I opened a bottle of wine from Phelan Estates from 2002. It had started to turn.
Tonight, I opened a Silver Oak 2000 that I bought from Mayfair Liquors while I was living on Birch St with Brian. I wanted to celebrate my trip, my life, and Brian. The wine was fantastic. I had a nice meal and I must say...having a Friday night off was pleasant.
Recently, I found out that a friend of mine's brother-in-law passed away. Immediately, I felt awful for them. I remember what it was like for me. Numb, shocked, unable to do anything but reflect on him and our life. I could't sleep, I barely ate and all I wanted was another moment with him. I knew that he knew that I loved him, but if I could have given anything back to get the opportunity for another moment with Brian, I would have sold my soul.
I was lucky. I know. My sisters were with me in my dark period. It was a short interlude--their visit--but I knew that if I wanted them, they would have returned for me.
I remember hearing that I shouldn't make rash decisions, but in hindsight, I really think that I wasn't there. I was going through the motions, but my mind wasn't in the present. I wouldn't put this on anyone...the emptiness, the loss, the shock.
I feel awful for this woman that I don't even know. Her husband of 25 years passed away. All I can say, is remember how much you loved him.
The wine is spectacular and I am enjoying my ipod. Have a grand night.

Sports

I guess I should be a Rays fan.
I like some of the Phillies players, however.
But, realistically, I should be a Rays fan. One of my friends came in to the Bull tonight and I inquired about his preference for the series. He said--Rays, of course. I said, aren't you a NL guy and he replied--I am a Mets Fan.
I got it. You support your team no matter what.
Ironically, there is this other regular who is an adamnant Yankees fan. Yet, they didn't reach the playoffs and suddenly, he is a Red Sox fan. I was disgusted. I mean, it would be as if I became a Tiger's supporter if KU didn't make the tournament. I know, that I would never support the Missouri Tigers. I would rather eat glass.
I guess it renewed my fan obsessiveness of my teams. I saw that Lute Olsen was stepping down at the University of Arizona. I know he is older, but the man is an icon. I am bummed!
I cannot wait for KU basketball.
In the meantime, I will load my new ipod. I figure that I have went full circle with the entire process of ownership. My first was stolen, my second I lost, the third was too small and the 4th is perfect. It sorta sounds like a fairytale to me. We will see...

A year in

It has officially been a year that I have been blogging.
Wow! I cannot believe it. Thankfully, I am in Santa Fe, right now, true to my calling. I wish I could find a way to finance traveling, be paid for it and keep doing it. I know that I love it. I am good at it and I thrive when I meet people.
I went to O Eating House for lunch today. My friend, Jamie, recommended it and all I knew was that she enjoyed it. I didn't know what I was walking into to.
I walked in and opted to sit at the bar. The chef, Carlos, told me that I could sit at the kitchen's bar if I let him clear it off. I figured it would be interesting to watch him prepare food and so I said yes.
Honestly, I thought he would have more people working with him. He had a girl that was helping him prepare dishes. He was able to talk me through the menu. At one point, he accused me of being a food critique and my reply was--do I look like a food critic? He said, yes.
I started with the green chile samosas and finished with the mushroom quinoa. Both dishes were fantastic; although, the sundried tomato mashed potatoes were a bit bland. I enjoyed my seat and watching the energy of the kitchen/front staff collision. There is always something. I think if I were forced to work in the kitchen, I would have more patience for my food.
Tonight, I am heading to La Boca, a tapas place, with my friend, Melody. I love Santa Fe, the energy and how I always am able to connect with what is important to me. I lose sight of it when I am in Denver, surrounded by the negativity of the people I associate with. There is so much more to discover in life. I forget that when I am absorbed in the bs associated with a restaurant job. I have great friends, a wonderful support system, but also an easy way out.
I have to remember to keep challenging myself and discovering life.
Thank you, to all of you who continue to read about my life, travels and mishaps. Cheers to another year!

website down

So, for awhile the website to the Bull and Bush has been down.
It is inconvenient for customers and for staff. I mean, people call and want to know what is on the menu and all I can say is....well, perhaps we can fax you the current listing since our website is down.
I looked the other day and it says Bull and Bush--Spring, 2008. I think it is a misprint since we are almost to 2009. I decided to link some of my photos to their website since it has been part of my life for the past few years.
I ran into Dave and Erik at the beer fest. I was able to provide my own tickets, outside of them or any obligation. I pay my debts in full and didn't fancy an evening spent folding posters to get in for free. They were in full custom (as always) and so I insisted that Dave take a picture with me.
Of course, he made fun of my camera, but I like being surprised and I love black and whites.
Also, I met Carrie's husband in Las Vegas. I enjoyed this photo and so I wanted to put this up for show, too.
I have great friends and a wonderful life. Sometimes, I forget it. Most times, not. Have a gerat evening.

Alize and the rest of the greatness

Vegas was great!
We arrived on Sunday and had anticipated a suite like the one we had a few times prior to this trip. The clerk gushed about how fantastic this room was--it has a great view overlooking the fountains of the Bellagio--you will love it. We took the elevator up and were both disappointed by the room. It was small, dirty and it felt like we were imprisoned. Jimmy returned to the desk to ask for a different room. The next room was an improvement, but not much. It was a free room and so I couldn't complain that much.
We walked to the MGM and met up with Carrie and Cedric. We arrived first and were surprised when Carrie arrived with some random guy. She explained that they had gotten married a week ago and wanted to surprise us. Yep, we were surprised and speechless. He was polite and kind, but our dynamic was off.
Love, the Cirque de Soleil show, was amazing. The music was great and I enjoyed the theatrics. I prefer Zumanity though. There is more to see.
Monday morning, we headed to Olives for an early lunch. I tried the pumpkin soup, pepperoni flat bread and a crab cake sandwich. I must say, that I was disappointed in the sandwich. Every time I go to Las Vegas, I always go to Olives. Brian and I discovered it on our first trip together and so it is tradition for me. This is the first time that I haven't fully loved the food.
We ate at Alize for supper and it was spectacular. It is on the 56th floor of the Palms casino and has an amazing view of the city. We drank a zinfandel from sonoma. They started us off with a cold soup and we tried scallops with chorizo raviolis. Jimmy ate the gorgonzola risotto and I had the roast chicken. The service was fine, although there were no women, anywhere, which was odd. We finished with carrot cake which I was excited about. Too bad that it was a deconstructed cake and not that great. I was dreaming of the cake from Olives, in Wellington, New Zealand, that I found. I guess I will have to return there to fully appreciate carrot cake.

VIva Las Vegas!

Las Vegas, here I come.
Tonight, I should be at the Mirage, watching Love. I cannot wait.
It has been an interesting week. The GABF always promises to have wonderful people in Denver. I ran into a guy from one of my college classes on Thursday. I couldn't remember his name, exactly, but I did know that I knew him from KU. He lives in New Mexico and is in Denver/Boulder often. We are going to try to meet up for a beer next time he is in the area.
Last night, we were slammed at the Bull. I think the weather, football, and the beer fest produced the influx of people. I saw my friend--the $1.59 lady and waited for her to approach me or demand a manager. She was with friends, no husband in sight, and so she remained calm. The server knew exactly who I was talking about though. She remarked, that the woman is awful. Funny, how some people are naturally difficult to appease in any situation.
We had this group of people show up and they were dressed nice and asking for grey goose martinis. I handed this lady her tab--$13.50. She gave me a twenty and I gave her six singles and 50 cents. She pondered the change, stopped me and said--I wish I could tip more, but I am broke.
I was taken aback. I couldn't believe she would say that. She ordered a grey goose martini. If you are unable to afford it, drink the well. After that, Tiffany and I both avoided them like the plague.
I kept telling myself that I have a good life and again, I am going to Vegas tomorrow! Have a wonderful day.
I realized the other day that I set this up about a year ago. I suppose I am itching for another trip...

Great American Beer Festival

Too many choices...too much fun.
We showed up to collect the tickets that I had arranged for. We wanted to get tickets from the Bull, but everyone becomes their "friends" during this time and so we didn't want to burden them. Plus, I still have relatively good contacts within the brewing community and so it isn't a stretch to seek out other avenues. Plus, bottom line--we got tickets and we didn't have to owe the Bull anything to get them.
We met Tiffany and Josh at Bubba Gump's Shrimp Restaurant and I saw my cousin, Beau. That was definitely a highlight of my night. He looked great and as always, he was pleasant. Afterwards, about 6:15, we headed to the festival. Wow--there were so many people in line. We got into the convention center at 6:50 pm. Apparently, the first people in line waited an hour and a half. It was crazy. Normally, Thursday is the casual night.
Right away, I headed to the New Glarus booth. The line was large, but I was determined to get their beer. I met up with my friend, Kat, from Phoenix and the night was fantastic from then on. I sampled beers from Elysian Fields, Four Peaks, Free State, Ommegang, Deschutes, Rogue and others. The only other line that was formidable was Russian River. Initially, my friends refused to wait in line. I was separated from them and so I stood in line for 20 minutes and it was worth the wait. Their beers are awesome!
I ran into my doctor which was comical since he didn't want to see his patients. Afterwards, I met up with Jimmy and we took a rickshaw to the Falling Rock. We arrived there at 9:15. We knew what was coming and so we hopped in a cab and went to Elway's for supper. I love the Falling Rock, but I do not like the craziness of the beer festival. People are everywhere and it is difficult to find a place to stand or get a beverage. I saw Mark from the Map Room, which was awesome, and John from Horse Brass and exhanged a few words with them, before departing.
I think I am beered out though for a few days. If you have time or any inclination, you should check out the beer festival.

Civic responsibility

I am a registered voter.
I have no interest in standing in line, though. I went yesterday to get a mail-in ballot. It was simple and efficient. I felt great that I was responsible, ensuring that my vote would count. Sometimes, I procrastinate, but I am passionate about this particular election. I figure that if I don't vote, I cannot bitch about the outcome.
Anyways, I returned to my car and it wouldn't start. I was bummed because I had no idea how to diagnose the problem. The security guard offered to jump my car, but that didn't work. I left it in the lot, with the intention of returning to fix it later.
I walked to work, cursing the situation the entire way. I take good care of my volvo and I suppose it is another reminder of what I miss with Brian gone. He always took care of me and my car. He enjoyed the oil changes, waxing and keeping her healthy. He always stressed how important it was to take care of the car.
I was able to pick it up last night and now it is home, safe. It started last night and so I believe it was a fluke.
I thought it was ironic that I was trying to be responsible, civically, and the result was that I walked to work.

football Sunday

GO Broncos! I cannot believe that I just said that. I am anti-football; although, I do enjoy the games.
I went with Dave, Erik, Jimmy, DJ or JD--as Dale like to call him, Clarence and Marshall. Talk about an entourage. We arrived, tailgated and then enjoyed the boring game. Jimmy and I had fantastic seats--40 yd. line about 13 rows back. It rained a little bit, but overall, it was quite pleasant. They won and I suppose that is all that important.
Afterwards, Jimmy and I went to Elway's for Supper. It wasn't too busy and John Elway, himself, was there. We tried to watch the Angels/Red Sox game. I must say--I am disappointed with baseball, in general. The Cubs ate it. The Brewers lost. The Twins, well what can I say--that game was terrible. I am not at all excited at the prospects of baseball.
I might hibernate until March. I love college basketball and cannot wait for the playoffs. I do like the Dodgers, but don't know if they will be able to stop the Phillies. I like the idea of the Red Sox, but am over their winning. Isn't it time for a new team?
I feel ready for a new challenge. I envision the future. I see change. Do you?

Figuring it all out

It has almost been a year since I set this blog up. I decide to continue after I returned to the States to keep in contact with my friends, family and all of the people I met while traveling.
I feel confused about the status of life right now.
In the past few months, a few things keep popping up--more travel, the quest for faith and spirituality, and change. I enjoy my life in Denver. I like my job, both of them, actually, but I feel there is more out there for me. I am trying to figure out how to make it all happen, but I feel that I will be traveling again, and soon. I would love to learn spanish, about wine, yoga, and a way to finance my life while traveling only. I want to focus my energy on what is good and positive for me. I embrace the upcoming changes, whatever they are. Denver makes me feel stagnant because I allow myself to get sucked in to the b.s. of being here. I am ready for change.