Tuesday thoughts

I woke up and did a five-minute meditation.  Repeated a mantra that made sense to me.  I think I will attempt to do this moving forward.  Perhaps build up to 20 or 30 minutes at some point.  Baby steps build a habit.  Habits lead to success.  

In the same fashion, 2026 I have been oil pulling, tongue scraping and then brushing teeth.  Listening to podcasts and stretching.  Increasing the time, I am capable of holding a yogi squat.  Juicing, hot lemon water and then starting my day.

It is time to be thankful and minimize the chaos.  That is my realization that I am too wrapped up in this.  Too far into my own echo chamber.  I spoke to my older sister yesterday and could tell that she couldn't wait to get off of the phone once I brought up the SAVE act. We were reflecting on our past weeks, and she was doing the being the older sister bit (truly, she is the best.  Always takes care of me).  After we exhausted the Greek trip, I brought up recent events.  Including the SAVE Act, War in Iran, genocide.  She concluded with--I need to go since I am walking into work or something to that effect.  Reminded me of how I conclude conversations with my parents at times, lol.  

I get it.  I do.  I know that I am overwhelmed by the crazy.  The fact that ICE is at the airports.  For what purpose?  They are unable to screen travelers.  They are being paid to intimidate people.  Meanwhile, TSA agents are working without pay.  Make it Make Sense.  We have unmasked agents (finally) but they are armed and known for their tactics.  How are they speeding up security?  We are pawns in this latest tactic of the regime.  They want to pass the SAVE act which will disenfranchise female voters.  It is a poll tax on voters.  It isn't about voter I.D.  We already provide either a driver's license or military ID to be able to vote.  Those are no longer enough.  It is a restrictive act that.  Why?  Because the majority of people do not agree with Project 2025, the Republican agenda or their proposed policies.  Not when you actually look into what they want to achieve.  The BBB which taxes everyone but the ultra-elites and corporations is not popular.  When you break down how people are taxed to death, they aren't happy.  In addition, fuel prices are increasing.  Groceries are increasing.  Housing.  Health insurance.  On and on and on.  

We are being taxed for policies that do nothing for us.  And everything around us is increasing.  At what point do people push back?  I do not know why people pay taxes.  Our roads are not improving.  Travel is becoming difficult.  Why do they think existence is enough?

Rambling but trying to process.  Heading to a happy hour which will be beneficial and wonderful.  Have a good day!

Fava bean dip

I loved Greece.  All of it.  Especially the food.  Not going to lie there is a huge difference when food tastes like it hasted been genetically modified or full of preservatives.  Simple, pedestrian food and I ate it up.  Greek salads, tzatziki and especially the fava bean dip.  I could not get enough of it.  Shari and I dined at the same lunch spot in Naxos for two days.  One day we sampled the octopus (exquisite) and the second day we chose a beet salad (equally delicious).  And, again, simple.

Due to that inspiration, I am attempting a fava bean dip for my yoga happy hour tomorrow night.  I did not realize that you can use yellow split peas instead of fava beans.  I headed to Sprout's Market as they have a great bulk food and spice section.  For everything else, I search out Kroger, Trader Joe's and Natural Grocers.  Primarily, I shop at Trader Joe's.  I like their objectives, employees and always have a good experience when shopping.  It can be somewhat limited on some things; hence, why I shop at Kroger and Natural Grocers.  At any rate, I did not find yellow split peas yesterday at Sprout's.  Natural Grocer's has a superior bulk aisle of dried goods and spices.

I used one recipe and will borrow from another.  A few ingredients--red onion, garlic, olive oil, water with the peas as a base.  Immersion blender to combine the ingredients.  Topping with capers, scallions, parsley and some paprika or cumin.  I have yet to decide.  In addition, I am making the crowd favorite, Kerp dip.  It is Tom's mother's recipe and has yet to disappoint my students.  I think each time I make it it varies a little.  I like to experiment with the amount of bacon and scallions.  I think I minimize the mayo since I do not love mayo, but it is a necessary component in this dish.  

I bought tzatziki from the Greek market.  I could have tried to make my own, but I know that I enjoy their offering.  Another time.  I found some Greek wine that Shari and I enjoyed in Naxos and Santorini.  All, in all, at great Sunday.  I watched basketball and my team broke my heart again.  I think it was especially difficult this year.  They came back ensuring that it would not be a blow out.  They had a good strategy on how to get to overtime.  They could utilize the time out to work the clock.  They did that but then it appeared they got ahead of the game.  Instead of defending the play, they watched it happen with 3 seconds left.  I watched in awe at the conclusion of the game.  It was unbelievable. I realize that things happen and of course, that was not their intent to lost like that.  Yet, they did and it was heartbreaking.  Kudos to St. John's for crushing 3's all game and advancing to the next round.  

For the happy hour, I will offer the tzatziki dip, Kerp dip, fava bean dip and a greek salad.  Some additional vegetables and an assortment of crackers.  Truly, I believe it will be a nice homage to my trip to Greece and way to honor the Spring Equinox.  Lighter fare, white wine and community.

Stay safe out there.  Protect your energy.  Stand up for what you believe it and share kindness.  Thank you!

More thoughts on becoming grateful and community centered

Trying to unplug from the current world events, I listened to music for 90 minutes yesterday afternoon.  It was pleasant and a reminder how soothing music can be.  Not only soothing but creates memories and associations.  I allowed Qobuz to make suggestions and found a plethora of cool new songs.  Artists that I am unfamiliar with that have some quality music.  I should dive deep into that rabbit hole instead of listening to political podcasts.  Only to update my post from yesterday, the other Heather that I follow is Heather Delaney Reese.  She also offers daily synopsis of the news of the day.  It is overwhelming how much is happening.  I know it is designed to exhaust and overwhelm us.  Try to carve out some joy in your life.  Do not let them win.

I have another yoga class at the Jazzercise Studio this morning.  I love the Studio and am very grateful for the space.  The owner is kind, gracious and accommodating.  Still, I could have returned to outdoor yoga late last month.  It has been that nice in Denver.  Today we will hit 88 degrees in March.  Normally, March is the snowiest month of the year.  Not this year.  We have had a lame winter and for that I am concerned about upcoming wildfires and how hot the summer will be.  Thankfully, my landlady finally got air conditioning for the building after six years of suffering.  It was a struggle each year to sustain those months.  And sorta ridiculous as she had air conditioning but refused to let me use my window unit.  Not to rock the boat, I didn't.  In hindsight, I absolutely should have.  Sometimes, I question my complicit nature of going along to get along.  Seriously, Midwest upbringing sometimes bites me in the ass.  

And other times mostly, I am thankful for my roots.  I recognize when people count money back to me.  Younger kids do not break down change.  If a beverage is $13.78 and you hand them a twenty-dollar bill, most people will hand you a five, a one and a quarter.  This makes me crazy.  Let me choose what I want to tip and no, I am not giving you a $5 tip for a drink.  Not all young kids do this, I know.  But a majority of them seem to do this.  Or going to the bank and withdrawing money.  Typically, they hand you a mixed bag of cash that is not faced.  In the past, it would all be faced.  When you deposited money, it was customary to face it.  Honestly, it is much easier to count when the cash is faced.  One of the tellers at my bank handed me my withdrawal and it was all faced.  I asked him where he was from and he said--California.  I responded with, wow, based on how you handed me my money, I thought you were Midwestern.  

He looks at me and said--actually, I grew up in Minnesota.....loved it.  Loved that I could recognize that wholesome quality.  

My yoga class was small but soulful.  I changed up my normal sequence to accommodate a new student.  I know that she has some physical limitations.  She doesn't complain about the chatarangas and modifies to make them make sense to her.  I love that she is showing up and doing what she can.  Instead of the physical emphasis it was stretchier and holding poses.  A reminder that it is good to change it up and curate classes for folks.

Take some time for you this weekend.  Read a book.  Drink some hot tea.  Soak in your tub.  Buy some flowers.  Take a walk outdoors.  Disconnect with the chaos.  It is worthwhile.

Gratitude

Trying to balance the nonstop fear mongering and chaos with a little gratitude.  I know I have struggled with this in the past and probably will continue to do so.  It is hard to remove myself from the algorithm of chaos.  I like listening to podcasts, daily.  I rotate between the Daily Beans, I've Had it, Pod Save America, The Rational Boomer, Fast times with Molly Jong Fast and the Bulwark.  Oh, and Joy Reid.  I do love her show.  

Typically, I listen to the Daily Beans.  I find it somewhat uplifting with their good news segment that they offer daily.  That inspires me and makes me hopeful that there are people out there that are just as pissed off at what is happening in the world. Plus, they offer creative solutions for resistance or finding joy.  In addition, I read Heather Cox Richardson, Jess Craven of Chop Wood, Carry Water and another Heather on facebook.  She also offers a daily synopsis of the barrage of shit being flung at us.  Unfortunately, I cannot remember her full name.  Recently, I found her and have read what she has posted due to it offering optimism and lack of bias.  She reports the news.  I listen to IHIP news, daily.  Those two gals are witty and do not give a fuck about cussing or telling it like it is.  Refreshing.  

In an attempt to balance out the nonstop chaos and fear, I am wanting to write more.  Journal.  Express gratitude for the beauty in life.  Practice grounding as well.  Getting outside and walking at a park is essential.  That connection with nature to calm the nervous system and decrease the stress/cortisol spike.  As I am navigating the early stages of the change, I need to decrease stress.  I can feel how my body is absorbing this.  I have a naggy shoulder and my hips are experiencing achiness due to the lack of estrogen.  Sexy topics, I know.  But we, as women, should be talking about the change and how we are experiencing it.  There is a definite lack of knowledge/research and how to maneuver this.  Dealing with aching hips is not sustainable.  I know this.  It affects my sleep and comfort.  Moreover, there are so many women in my life that are experiencing the same things.  But we have been taught to not talk about it.  We need to talk about this awakening and encourage openness.

In other news, I am concerned about the lack of awareness of the SAVE Act and what it is attempting to achieve.  Disenfranchising women.  Creating a poll tax and hoops to jump through in order to be able to vote.  It is voter suppression and aimed at eliminating women's voices.  Saying that, I know that I will have the right to vote.  I have not married so my legal name is reflected on my birth certificate.  I know where my birth certificate is and I have a passport.  I have had a passport since I was fifteen years old as traveling as always been in my blood.  

I spoke to one of my sisters and asked her if she was aware of the SAVE act.  She said no.  I told her to research it and what it means to women and girls.  I sent a video because I couldn't help myself, but I don't think she watched it.  I think she thinks I am being a conspiracy theorist like my mom has been at times.  My mother likes to send random messages which I ignore.  I am not going to apologize for it.  Some of the things that she has sent or believes, I do not agree with.  I question where she receives her news but then remember that she lives in a small town.  And I acknowledge that I am in my own echo chamber currently.  I am being propagandized, too.  And thrown a ton of fear, instability and lack of resources.  

I realize that we should all be curious and questioning decisions that this administration is making.  Specifically with the SAVE Act.  How is this beneficial to citizens?  We already have to show proof of identity to vote.  Why now the extra layers of security to prove citizenship?  A driver's license will no longer be adequate if your name changed due to marriage, divorce.  

I am trying to have more of my community seek out answers.  I posted a few items on facebook and apparently it irritated someone that I have known for almost thirty years.  He and I do not agree politically.  Nor have we ever.  I am not surprised by his stance only that why does he feel the need to comment on my page?  This isn't the first time he has made some jackass comment either.  I cannot remember the first one, but it was derogatory towards women.  It felt directed at me and choices that I have made in my life.  And it felt like he believed he should be able to tell me how to live.  Very dismissive and totally out of line with how I live my life.  I cannot change his perspective.  I know this from experience, but I will not engage with him either.  It is pointless.  I am never going to agree with minimizing women's rights or forcing women back into the kitchen.  For far too long, we have been expected to provide emotional support, raise children and dim our lights.  No more!

So I will journal, meditate and try to turn off the hyper focusing of the shit show of what is happening in the world.  Find some joy.  Hug your pet if have one.  Love your life.

More of the same

I was so hopeful for 2026.  In some ways, I still am.  There are cracks in the hold of the administration.  

I see them and sense it.  However, there is more violence and a ramp up of attacks on women.  I knew in 2016 that this would be a disaster for women.  When he was re-elected, I told my friends how terrible this would be.  I remember saying--they are coming for women.  These conservative men hate us.  They hate that there are independent women who are self-reliant, capable and autonomous.

I was told to calm down that I was overreacting.

While the daily chaos ensues, they are promoting some return to family values bull shit.  Their idea of family values is where a woman should be married and with children by the age of 30.  They are penalizing women who do not follow their game plan.  Taxing us for choosing to not have children or be married.  It is insanity and yet, here we are. I do not think people are paying attention.  Women are under attack.

There is resistance all over the world.  And I am seeing more people step into the game.  I encourage everyone to get involved.  Stand up for your rights and communities.  2026 started with a continuation of the absolute shit of 2025.  Only rapidly increasing.  The shooting of Renee Good and Alex Pretti is finally displaying the cruelness of the current administration.  They are now shooting American citizens in broad daylight.  More people are recognizing the callousness of anyone who doesn't support their ideology.  

Of course, it has always been this way.  They have executed and disappeared people of color for many years. It should have been stopped before now.  We should be standing up for all communities not only paying attention because it is happening to us now.  

There is awakening and hope.  I will continue to do what I can.  I have been calling representatives, donating to a food pantry and continuing to develop community.  Keeping it as local as possible.  I have been taking breaks too.  It is a lot to process and unbelievable that this is happening.  

I wish I had a barrel sauna or bathtub.  Seriously, I could use a place to decompress and submerge or sweat out my toxins.  

Try to stay hopeful.  Knowing there are more of us that are likeminded who do not support this madness.  

2025 Recap

What a shit year.  Disappointing and eye opening.  Recognizing that there are people in my life who support ICE raids.  Disgusting.  And their defense is that the people they are deporting or placing in alligator alcatraz are criminals.  

They are not deporting mostly criminals.  Instead, they are antagonizing immigrants that have sought asylum or are citizens.  Tackling pregnant women to separate them from their children.  Yes.  That is what this country should be known for.  Having masked men randomly discriminate against black and brown people.  Oh and somali's because they are antagonizing the streets of Minneapolis.  This year has sucked in so many ways.

The passing of the Big Beautiful Bill is yet to be understood how it will affect you and people within your community.  There is nothing good about this bill outside of giving tax cuts to the .000001--people who do not need a tax cut.  These people should pay taxes for their companies that utilize public services--streets, public transportation, etc.  For example, why is it okay that Bezos tried to pay the city of Venice to host his wedding back in the summer?  I feel like he paid an exorbitant amount thinking people would applaud him.  Instead, locals boycotted and had signs to illustrate how disgusting his decision was.  People do not applaud that abuse of wealth.   In addition, losing regulations and not feeling bad about it.  The amount of water it takes to cool down an AI center is out of control.  Instead of AI companies pay for the water, they are pushing these rising costs to consumers.  Why are these policies not being challenged?

In happier times, I have been more interested in my community.  I know all of my neighbor's names.  (not that I like them all, but I know who they are).  A few of them are genuine friends.  I share food with Lee and Courtney routinely.  I have connected with a few colleagues.  I take the bus.  I frequent my coffee shop with my reuseable cup.  I support small businesses along Colfax.  

I acknowledged things I can no longer control in regard to my family.  Instead of doing what I would normally do, I chose my own well-being.  I do not need to hurt myself in order to make my family feel better.  This has taken me years to understand.

I taught a yoga retreat in Santa Fe.  I was scared.  Again.  2023/2024, I wanted to host a retreat.  This year, I did.  It was great.  I recognize ways to improve and be a better host.  Isn't that what life is all about?

I feel better about my relationship with Tom.  More grounded, honest and open.  I cannot wait for tomorrow.  I don't know if it will be better.  Probably more bull shit from this administration.  It is nonstop.  However, I know I made it through another year.  

And that I wasn't wrong in 2015 when he won and how terrible he would be.  I never forgot the Grab them by the Pussy.  That should have been the red line for everyone.  Instead, the goal posts moved.  Again.  Again.  Again.

It made me lose so much respect for people that support him.  Support the narcissism.  The bulling.  The racism.  Misogyny.  Tout the religious line.  

I grew up Catholic.  In no way, shape or form would my priest promote what they are doing.  Or profit off this.  

This year has been crap.  Let's move forward an embrace community and togetherness.

Moving forward

Focus on your health.  Mental, emotional or physical.  Last night hearing that the healthcare subsidies will not be extended was a gut punch.  There was no reason to vote to fund the government without having any concessions.  I do not understand why we are paying taxes.  Taxes for what?  We are currently losing rights and services that benefit everyone.  Yes, we should be taxed to secure infrastructure.  But this healthcare loss is huge.  People will lose coverage and die.

As a result, my sleep was basically nonexistent last night.  All of this year I have struggled with sleep.  I realized today that I need to shift my perspective.  These people will do nothing to help us.  They are only interested in funding their own lives.  I cannot rely on them to do the right thing.  Clearly, they choose self-interest over community good each time.  Taking away SNAP benefits from states that have released them is ridiculous.  Truly, they hate poor people.  

I love the hypocrisy of being pro-life.  Pro-life to save every child.  But then you strip away food benefits, childcare, healthcare.  What is the point?  Setting up people for a life of servitude that only benefits the oligarchs.  It is gross.

I need to find a way to wrap my head around what will be coming.  I am healthy, physically.  Mentally, I need to make some changes.  I need to sleep and heal my body.  More meditation since I do not think I can sustain much longer.  Lack of sleep is a real thing.

There have been some positives this year.  I am more connected to my neighbors.  I know more than just their names.  I have shared food with several of them and next week I am co-hosting a dinner.  I have ways to give back to the community that keep me accountable.  I am matching funds from wine lunches and contributing them to the food bank this month.  Supporting local restaurants, coffee shops and walking along Colfax.  If you live in Denver, you know how difficult it is to drive on this street currently.  They are building a bus line in the middle of the road.  They keep changing lanes to build the lines.  I think the project will take two and a half years.  

The road construction is killing local businesses.  There are a few that seem to be thriving--a liquor store and take out Thai spot.  Due to proximity to corner lots and some parking.  I am thankful for the businesses that are open.  A few coffee shops, pizza parlors, sushi.  Support your local spot.  Build your community.  Stop funding convenience.  Be it data, chain restaurants or big stores.  They do not care about you or your needs.  They want your money.  Stop buying into the system that continues to screw you over.