figuring it out

Still reeling from November 5th.  

I have been a hot mess of wow--how did this happen?  Am I an elite?  How are there so many stupid people voting against their interests?  White women, why?  Gen X women, why?  Why do you hate your rights as a woman?  Do you think you still have a seat at the kids' table?  Why do you think your man should choose your vote?  

Great, get deported for voting this regime in.  My initial response was, yea, fuck around and find out.  Do you think you are safe when they start deporting immigrants?  

How did they call this election almost immediately?  Why did this happen?  How did this happen?  Stupid people.  Fear.  

Nick Fuentes bragging about men winning again.  And then cowering at his mother's house when he was confronted for being a prick.  Typical.  Hide behind a woman.  That video he released, almost immediately on 11/5, was so gross.  So vile.  Repulsive.  Then, I think why people chose to overlook what they were saying all along?  Project 2025.  Mass Deportations.  Tariffs.  

What does this mean for me?  For other women?  Will I have control over my finances?  Will I have a job in 2025?  Insomnia.  Should I be buying canned goods to avoid leaving my apartment in January?  How did this happen?  Fuck around and find out.  All is lost.  This is worse than 2016.  Why?  How?  Is this a mandate?  Do people truly think 45 is better with the economy?  How is the tax cut for the 1% going to help me?  Or others? 

Did I mention that I haven't been sleeping?  That my mind races and considers all of the worst-case scenarios.  Ending up in a field, laboring for others since I am no longer viable as a vessel.  I mean, I am.  I still am ovulating but the chance of carrying to a full term is .000001.  Or something along those numbers.  Yes, I am experiencing the awesomeness of ovulation (weeklong cycles which is not what I experienced as a child).  Feeling like crap before and during the period.  Sounds amazing, I know.  

I have been deep in the rabbit hole of fear.  Until today.

I refuse to give in or give up.  I have choices.  I can do things to resist and push back.  As can you.  Do not fold and allow them to steam roll you.

I will continue to support local businesses.  I will discover new authors and share them with friends.  One of my sisters recently confided in me that she was unaware of the term white fragility.  I didn't even know how to respond to it.  I suppose I have been fortunate to live in a city, meet other cultures and travel.  I do know that I have a privileged life.  I have been offered opportunities because of the color of my skin.  I thought she saw that, too.  

I offered to send her books and recommend authors.  She can suss it out.  Instead of me telling her what I have seen.  Isn't that how we all learn?  Through our experiences.  Thru rose colored glasses.  Thru choosing to consider an alternative to what we think we know.

As such, I am leaning into what I know.  What I can offer and contribute.  No more fear, but what I can do to counter this chaos.  And it will be chaos.  Why consider Matt Gaetz, RFK, jr. or the other sexual predators that are currently be considered for the cabinet?  Shock and awe?  

They want a response.  They want to rile you up.  Instead of governing, they want you to be outraged to their choices.  Move beyond it.  Resist.  Resist.  Resist.  Do not roll over and take this.  I encourage you to seek out your community, find your niche, and build.  I will be writing more, building others up and planting seeds.  Do more of the same, please.

Productive day

Happy Sunday!  Happy return to some sense of normal.  No more political ads, asks, or texts.  

When did it become all financial?  Nonstop requests for donations?  Even if you block numbers, you still get texts requesting money or polling.  I am over it.  

To me, I would never run for office.  I would be tired of asking my "circle" for money.

At any rate, I am exhausted and ready for moving forward.  So ready.  

And I feel the pull of new energy.  New adventures and release of fear.  I cannot tell you how long I have struggled to let go of things and just let energy let my life.  In many ways, I know I am blessed.  I know that things will be okay, and that money will always be there.  

I say that.  And, then my subconscious takes over.  What a ride that is and can be.  It is time to release all of the fear of the unknown and embrace what is coming next.  More creating, curating and leaning into what makes me passionate about life.  Writing, yoga, traveling, eating.  I love experiencing new food and am so thankful that I expanded my palette outside of chicken tenders.  (I grew up in the Midwest.  That is something that is available on every menu.  With Ranch dressing).  There is nothing wrong with chicken tenders.  Only that I have expanded my palette to discover new foods.  I love sampling new fare.  When I was in Southeast Asia, I chose to eat pho for breakfast as opposed to bacon and eggs.  I wanted to venture off of what I knew and try new flavors.  So thankful.

Time to make time for what I am passionate about.  No more coasting.  Let's get serious about what we want to achieve in life.

Remain positive and know that you attract what you want.

vote

Please invest in yourself and vote.  If you have not already.  

Actually, just vote.  If you feel so compelled to vote republican, do it.  I cannot understand why you would want to do this, but I will respect the amount of people who get the vote out.  At least, I know you are vested in your rights.

On the other hand, of course, I am supporting women's rights.  I want control over my body, my healthcare decisions, my finances.  I have worked (my entire life) to enable what I want in my life.  My parents divorced when I was 12.  My dad was supposed to pay for 2/3 medical of myself and my three sisters.  I had glasses at a young age.  When I wanted contacts *at age 13* my mom wouldn't pay her third of acquiring that purchase.

I babysat, cleaned Schwan's trucks and ironed for neighbors to secure the portion of the contacts.  I wanted contacts so I could participate in basketball, volleyball and softball.  Since then, I have taken care of myself.  Paying for my first car at 16.  A junker and automatic but I managed to do it myself.  

I paid for insurance.  I figured out how to pay for college, housing, insurance.  Always taking care of myself and not relying on my dad or men. 

Do not feel guilty for voting for your interests.  

I saw this insane clip from a dipshit (I refuse to mention his name.  IYKYK...and YK).   Think small-minded podcaster.  Thinks he is smart.  Overqualified man.  

This idiot felt betrayed that a woman would vote for her healthcare, her body, her finances.  He felt betrayed that she would allow her husband to believe otherwise

There are so many women that have died after the Dobbs decision due to lack of healthcare.  Due to physicians being scared of treating women.  The ramifications they would receive if they helped a woman move forward with taking care of herself.  

Do not be afraid.  Vote for yourself, your interests, your rights.  Refuse to believe that we should return to the 1890's.  The Patriarchy refuses to acknowledge how much women have added to the workforce.  They want you to think you don't deserve equality or rights.

STOP BELIEVING THEIR NONSENSE.

vote for you.  Vote for your interests.  Vote for autonomy.  

Class tonight

There is time left.  Join me for a wonderful evening.  Detox to Retox Happy Hour Yoga Session.  

Consider joining tonight.  Or look for updates on the next two sessions.  Make it a great day~

 My dad just told me it wasn't normal for a 48 year old woman to have a period.

What?

Why? 

How does he know anything about this?

He doesn't.

He doesn't know how uncomfortable I feel.  Or I how I figure out how to adapt to this annoyance.  

I wish, men understood how challenging bleeding out is.  It sucks.  

You feel bloated, uncomfortable, heavy.  Let's be honest.  That is what happens.  You choose fat pants or an outfit that feels comfortable.  Every month.  Maybe, every few weeks as menopause enters your orbit.  

Then you have someone that doesn't have to encounter this on any level, tell you how you should feel.  PLEASE, FUCK OFF.

Every woman should be voting for her individual interest.  No one else is doing this for you.  Not your father.  Not your brother.  Not your husband.  In 1974, women were able to apply for their own credit cards.  Why is this even a thing?  Why would we think a man knows our best interest?  I have paid for vehicles, college, rent.  Never once, have I asked my dad to take care of me.  And guess what?  He never has offered to help me out!  He doesn't want to.  He cannot tell me how to live my life.

Vote for your interests.  For your fellow citizen, daughter, niece, friend.  Do not think anyone else is out her advocating for female rights.  Do not think this okay to not understand menopause or perimeneopause.  It sucks. 

But it where I am at currently.  Navigating this new world.  Bleeding out, feeling heavy, trying to feel good about myself.  

It feels like a luxury to be a man.  

let's do more

Let's get better.  Do better.  Every day.

I refuse to become complacent.  I look at myself and am shocked at how I have become comfortable.  Comfortable with how I look, how I feel, how I am.  Gross.

I turned a year older and have options.  I can continue on the complacent path or challenge myself to do more.  

I want to do more.  

That is my intention.  I am tired of being uninspired and unmotivated.

Class tonight

Join me, Denver!  The ultimate alternative happy hour.  I offer this class every month at the Jazzercise Studio in Skyland.  The studio space is welcoming.  I love this studio!  Clearly, Traci and her staff have created a lovely community of people.  I feel fortunate to be part of it.

Consider sixty minutes of yoga.  It is a mixed level class.  I offer modifications to make the session good for you.  The music is always a mash up of what I am currently listening to on my spotify.  Sometimes, 90's hip hop, Prince, JT or Chappel Roan (a current favorite).

Afterwards we nosh.  Monthly, I change up the menu which keeps me learning and honing that craft.  In addition, we connect with each other and build community.  I never know who will attend or what topics will come up.  Sometimes, health.  Sometimes, travel.  Sometimes, conflict.  But always with an open mind.  I am so thankful for the tribe I am part of.

Join me tonight!  Email me if you have questions--tastelifeyoga@gmail.com.  Check out my Detox to Retox Yoga class.