Thinking about the training process

Running. Must increase this activity. I have a 1/2 Marathon in seven weeks. De ja vu. It is something about 2011 where my training is lacking. The first 1/2--I think I referred to it as the worst showing ever--also, had similar training issues. Uninspired to run and unmotivated to push the performance. Instead I relied on muscle memory and hoped the Goddess would run at my pace. Thankfully, we had similar ideas about how to approach the Horsetooth Half. Neither of us were perky in that race. Somehow we managed to entertain each other with lack of training stories while running the race. Post race, we were tired, but not too sore. That bloody mary was divine.
In August, we have the Georgetown 1/2 that I am truly looking forward to. This will be my 3rd consecutive year of running it, too. It is a beautiful course and nostalgic as it was my first 1/2 Marathon. I remember the last 500 yds and being able to sprint. Afterwards, I wondered where that came from. It came out of nowhere and I loved sprinting towards the finish. Momentum and the crowd inspired this--I believe.
Last year, I ran the race, solo, and committed to improving my time. Determined to run the race without stopping. At mile 8, I had to tie my shoe and took a brief walk break. When I crossed the line I was surprised that I finished a minute after my first race. How could this happen? I ran the course and hills. There was only one stop break and it was brief.
The first year, I struggled. I hated it. I was new to running and I convinced myself that I should stop. Lindsay stayed with me and encouraged me to keep going. I have no idea how I did not improve my time the second go around. Some days are better than others is what I chalk it up too. After the second race, I felt more confident as a runner. I let go of my expectations and focused on improving my overall performance.
This year, I want to have fun inspite of my lack of training. I intend to have a better showing than the first 1/2 of 2011. And, I want to sign up for one or two more. I haven't completely opted out of a full marathon this year either. I still have time to decide. I feel that joining a running group would assist me in this process. I must do it. It will motivate me to actually train. Last year while training for the marathon in Las Vegas, I ran the Healdsburg 1/2 in October. Not my best time, but I felt fantastic after the event. In great condition and healthy. I suppose that is what I am striving for. I know that I am capable of the training, and that, I benefit from the experience. Half marathons can be fun and a bonding experience. I will find a group to run with and I will be motivated to improve the time.