other thoughts of 2016

I am so ready for 2017!  New opportunity, travel, food.  Thinking back on the last year.  What a year.  Different for me.  Different reactions, emotions, challenges.  I returned to Kansas, twice, to visit my sister and old boss, Carol.  I had forgotten how long that drive is.  Seven hours of little interaction.  Just driving east.  Feels lonely until Hays, maybe Salina.  Manhattan definitely is an improvement.  Spending time with my sister was awesome.  Her kids are adorable and it was fun to see their daily life.  Home cooked meals and time with the kids.  My niece, Emma, calls me her cousin.  Cracks me up!  She was so much fun to spend time with.
Of course, I spent some time in Lawrence.  I wish I had had more time to visit my old stomping grounds.  Maybe see some more college friends.  I taught a class to a group of twelve year-olds about the importance of travel and how it has impacted my life.  My circle of friends and opportunities.  I probably should have spent more time researching the countries I spoke of.  Yet, I took away from the experience a cultural impact.  I met three incredible people with different histories/experiences while in Southeast Asia.  Their stories brought joy to my life and how I could help them in the future.
Back to Kansas, perhaps next year will present another opportunity to do that.  I am Mason's godmother and so figure I will be spending time in Kansas.
I visited Santa Fe six times.  The appeal of Ojo Caliente makes that trip possible and recurring.  Drank many silver coins.  Introduced Sara to friends and Maghan to my life there.  Bought a new car.  Well, new to me, at least.  I do enjoy how I cultivate relationships.  I never would have found this smoking deal and Calliope had I not kept in contact with my mechanic in Santa Fe. 
Spent three weeks in Southeast Asia.  Saw Key West for the fifth time.  Phoenix and then NOLA for the fifth time.  Attended a graduation in Oregon and spent a weekend with Seattle Jean (another friend from college).  Overall, it was a wonderful year of travel.  Reconnected with many co-workers from the Bull.  Saw some friends commit their love for each other.  It's been lovely! 
Best photo of the year was probably from NOLA.  Celebrating my birthday. 

I have great friends and a good life.  Excited for 2017!

some reflection of this year

2016 has been an interesting year. 
Some loss, grief, adaptation, new car, new friends, visiting Kansas twice (which has not been the case since I was out of college).  Loss and grief happened early in 2016 and occurred on memorable days.  I was t-boned and lost Veronica (my beautiful bertone) on superbowl Sunday.  I toured Vietnam with a black eye as a result.  It was fun.  I loved that car and had driven it for ten years.  Part of why I loved it so much was that Brian picked it out.  Despite the fact that it was becoming more costly for the upkeep, I was stubborn and chose to put more money into it.  My dad thought I was crazy and repeatedly told me I should invest in a new car.  He even offered to give me a car at one point.  Still, I had faith that Veronica would last forever.  And she did until that Sunday when a girl was texting and rammed into me in downtown Denver.
As noted, I went to Vietnam, Cambodia and Laos sporting my injury from the accident.  And not knowing how to proceed.  Did I want to buy a new car?  Would I consider an alternative vehicle to Volvos?  I contemplated and sought out some mechanics in Denver to see if they would be refurbishing any Volvos in my price range.  At that time, they were not.  I called my old mechanic and Santa Fe for his advice on my buy out and asked him if he was fixing up any Volvos.  Ironically, he was and we agreed to reconvene after my venture to Southeast Asia. 
I returned, extremely jetlagged.  I was dogsitting for Tiffany and so I had their car for an additional week before agreeing to buying Kurt's car in Santa Fe. I had another interesting experience on a friend's birthday.  Probably never forget that date or experience. 
I was reflecting on my trips.  I have spent a good portion of this year in Santa Fe.  Five or six trips, in fact.  It's a quick drive and I love it.  I visited, solo, and then once with the WP to purchase my new car, Calliope.  And another time with Sara Jo.  Sara's trip was fun and I exposed her to some of my friends and favorite restaurants.  She met the I suppose that city did leave its mark on me.  I just spent a few days there to celebrate life. 

I love Ojo.  Always feel rejuvenated after soaking.  Thankfully, I spent Friday morning there with Melody.  Afterwards, we managed to find some silver coin margaritas, enchiladas and salsa.  Such a great day!

I am looking forward to 2017.  New year and opportunity for travel and cultivating friendships. I have been thinking quite a bit about where I am in life.  Back in Denver and in a different position then when I left. I learned more of my craft while in Santa Fe and Phoenix.  I mellowed out a little, too. 

Next year brings immediate passport stamp in January followed by a trip to the west in February.  Post the start, possibly, a return to Ojo.  I am up for anything and hopeful that there will be more adventure and abundance in every aspect of my life. 

I visited Santa Fe thinking I would find a necklace.  That evaded me as I chose to spend time with friends instead of peruse the silver there.  I guess I will be visiting again.  It is time to wear a new necklace.  I am off to spend some time with friends before work.  Celebrate, enjoy and taste life~

family time

Spent some time with these monkeys the last few days.  I had to deck them out in appropriate attire.  Well, and it gave me an excuse to drive up to Lawrence from Manhattan.  I do like Manhattan although I have more love for Lawrence.  I went to college there.  Naturally, I have more associations and memories of my time spent there. 
This year, I drove out in July to see Emma and Jasmin.  Honestly, it was the first time I have spent time in Manhattan.  Checked out a couple local eateries before turning around and driving back to Denver.  Super quick trip.

Fast forward late August, one of my friends from grade school posted that she wanted people to speak to her class about travel, living abroad, etc.  I had had a glass of wine (or three) and so I commented on her post.  That I would be interested in speaking.  I didn't know if she would want me there since I am an unconventional traveler.  I have lived abroad, briefly, and traveled a bunch.  I suppose that is what qualified me.  I could skype, face time or be present.

Seemed easier to be present and I could also spend time with Jasmin, Emma, Chris and meet Mason.  In this photo, he is three weeks old.  So precious!  And, of course, I love them wearing the KU colors. 

I combined trips and spent an extra day in Lawrence.  Stopped by my old stomping grounds, saw some friends and grabbed a coffee before heading back to Manhattan.  Quick, quick trip.  I found out after planning my time there that a childhood friend would be driving through with her kids as well as my older sister.  I was bummed that I would miss both of these ladies. 

It was a lovely trip and I am happy to be back.  I arrived in time to experience the first snow of the season.   This prompted me to purchase a space heater for my apartment.  I can tell that my landlady is going to skimp on the heating of the building.  I can take matters into my own hands or complain about it.  Seems silly to not buy a space heater.

I am thankful to have spent time with Jasmin.  I had home cooked meals and some great beer.  I look forward to next year when I can return. 

reflections on a random night off

I am still decompressing from my tour of that city.  Five glorious days.  Excessive, fun, shining bright. 
I looked back on some of the spots we dined at and others we could have dined at.  So many options. I could have spent a month there and not tried all the restaurants I wanted.  I would have had a food coma.  Not to mention, a need, to detox my liver and internal organs.  I think going to Nola is similar to visiting Las Vegas.  Typically, I spend one too may days there.  Not regretting it but physically needing to recover from the debauchery and food overload.  I returned, went to a barre class and picked up a salad afterwards.  I considered having a glass of wine while waiting for the take-out and thought better of it.  My body craved hydration and water.  Not more wine!
Barre class has been my go-to.  Not running, spin or yoga.  I wish I could find a routine class that I am committed to attending.  I miss my yoga fix.  I have broken up with spin for the time being.  It just isn't my thing.  I have found joy in running again.  I went with Sara the other night and can honestly say that I didn't hate it.  I wasn't too sore and the three miles passed relatively quickly.  Especially after not running since January.
I have been teaching yoga in my house with Brie, Matt and Sara.  I could expand out and offer classes to other people.  I believe I am at that point in this journey.   I am ready to share my knowledge and continue to grow my own practice.  I love being a student.
Next week, I will head to Santa Fe.  I do not know that I have enough time to see my mentor but there will be other trips for that.  Mostly, the agenda reflects soaking at Ojo, silver coins at La Choza and a little shopping.  Seeing friends is paramount and just relaxing.  I could use a little bit of that.  The upcoming season will be full of celebration, card writing and gift buying.  Yes, there will be some on-line shopping in my future.  I am not a fan of heading to stores.  Time consuming and a waste of time, in my experience. 
For instance, last week, I opted to venture into cherry creek to seek out a shoe store.  I could use a new pair of casual shoes for work and going out and have a pair of shoes that I found at a consignment store in Santa Fe that I love.  Super comfortable, cute and worn out.  I wanted to check out their store in Denver.  Actually pay full retail price for a comfortable pair of shoes. I made my way to the mall and entered the store.  Perused the selection and saw that I had not yet been greeted which seemed odd.  I was the only customer in the store.
So, I approached the desk and asked the clerk to pull a size 10 and 11 for this certain style.  He complied and said hello to a few ladies that had entered the store.  I continued to look at their selection and found an additional two pairs of shoes to try on.
He gave me the first pair and said that they were burgundy not black.  Mentioned he could order a pair for me.  I liked the shoes but wanted to try on the more casual styles.  Of course, my show size was out of stock.  The size ten was too tight in one and the eleven was too loose in the other.  He offered to order the shoes for me.  I filled out a form to seal the deal.  He told me that he required payment for the shoes but that there was a great possibility that they would be unable to produce the shoes.  Apparently, there were few stores that had my size in that style available.  He said I would receive a refund on my payment.
I asked if he could ship the shoes to the store and that I would pick them up.  Seemed reasonable.  Especially after he noted that I would probably not acquire them.  Why should I make a cash transaction if the goods would not be received?
He sensed my hesitation and asked if I wanted to continue with the transaction where I said no.  I thought about entering the store with no greeting.  The fact that I took the shoes to him and then that they would not ship the shoes to be convenient to the store and then have me pay for them.  Why am I giving this guy commission for no service????
The right shoes will present themselves.  I know it.  More likely, the opportunity will present itself.  No need to force something.  I do regret leaving my personal information with the guy....

upcoming trips and random thoughts

I am excited for my upcoming trip to OZ (the land of Oz not Australia) to celebrate travel and hopefully, inspire, 12 yr-old kids, to see the beauty of others, culture and travel.
One of my grade school friends is a sixth grade teacher.  She posted something on social media about her desire to bring in people to her classroom in Wamego, Kansas, to discuss living abroad and/or travel.  She even suggested skyping or facetiming as a way to achieve this goal.  I saw her post and commented.  I think I had had one too many glasses of wine.  I said something like--I have traveled some....
She liked my response and I saw that she had commented on others about their time abroad.  She messaged me later asking if I would like to participate.  She suggested skype and I told her that, no, I will be there in person.  I can do this!  I can combine trips to see Jasmin, Emma and meet her new addition, have lunch with another childhood friend and teach about travel.  I spent 36 hours with Jasmin and Emma in July and had a blast.  My little niece is a hoot!  She kept referring me to as her cousin.  I loved that.  Seeing that I am older than her mom...haha.  And, surprisingly, I enjoyed spending time in Manhattan.  I wouldn't mind returning to Tall Grass brewery or having another meal at the chef.  I am my new nephew's god mother as well.  I will be meeting him for the first time.  I hope to see my mom at some point too.
I contacted Tami about arranging lunch.  Last time I swung through town, I did not give her enough notice.  I am committed to having lunch in S Town at a local brewery.  I was a little anxious about where Tami would suggest.  It's been years since I have spent any time there.  I know of a few truck stops, fast food, and casual dining (applebee's, chili's, carlos O'Kelly's).  I was hoping for something new and unfranchised.  Thankfully, Tami knew of a place.
Regarding the teaching, there is something to it.  I have been told that I am a teacher just never pursued it in the traditional realm.  I have been doing more yoga teaching and feel more natural with it.  My language sounds more like me and not as stilted. 
I know that I am unconventional and so I am curious as to how her students will relate to me.  I figure I can overwhelm them with photos and stories of my time in Vietnam.  Since it is my most recent passport stamp, it makes sense.  I can also speak to Cambodia, Laos and Bangkok.  I might bring up the Khmer Rouge but I didn't visit the Killing Fields or any of that part of the history.  I spent time in Angkor Wat and had a human experience.  I can speak to the food and spending a day with a tuk tuk driver. 
I can speak to the language barrier and being in the Capitol but outside of that, I spent more time meeting people and dining.  I hope these kids like to hear about food.  I don't know if they understand the significance of me being in Vietnam.  I don't know if school teaches of the Vietnam War.  They didn't when I was in school. 
I am excited and wonder how I could do more of this.  And, what upcoming travel I could do.  There is a trip to Portugal in my future.  As much as I love Narcos (and I do), I put my trip to Columbia on hold.  Robert and his wife will be in Portugal until next June or July.  Honestly, I have always wanted to go to Spain and Portugal.  Why not go?
Especially when I have friends there that can give me the local perspective.  They have lived there since 2007 or 2008.  They will be concluding their time next summer.  I would love to see them before they depart.
Columbia will be there and perhaps I can see another season of Narcos before I depart.  It is in my thoughts and I keep meeting people that have visited.  It will happen.

random walking stories

The other day, I chose to walk to work.  Being a beautiful day it seemed fitting to enjoy some sunshine and tunes.  I began my two and a half mile walk by walking up 14th street.  Heading west, I was aware of the traffic driving east.  I have driven on this road, many times, and know that people tend to not look for pedestrians or cyclists.  People drive fast on this road as there are fewer stop lights and three lanes available for traffic.  I prefer this thoroughfare as opposed to Colfax.  Even driving.  But mostly walking.  14th is cleaner and there are fewer people. 
So, I am walking west on 14th about to turn north when I start to walk across a cross walk.  A mini van was blocking my path and it was apparent he was not aware of my presence.  I choose to walk behind the car since he was midway through the cross walk which would have forced me onto the roadway of 14th.  There was a girl across the street also attempting to cross, heading east.  The minivan driver saw her and started to back up.  Meaning he backed up into me.  I was shocked and so I yelled at him. 
His response was that there was a girl crossing the street and he didn't want to hit her.  Keep in mind, she is 30 feet away from him and he would have to cross three lanes of traffic to hit her.  Instead he backs up.  A car could have been behind him for all he knew.  I was furious and he continued with that he had to make a choice and he chose to back up.  WTF?  I would have loved to have heard him explain that to his insurance agent or the paramedics had he hit me.  I moved out of the way since I am not interested in an altercation with a vehicle.  All I wanted was this guy to apologize for being a complete jackass.  He didn't understand that.  He called me a stupid ass and continued to believe that I was wrong as a pedestrian trying to cross a crosswalk.
I continued to work, furious.  Walking faster even.  I saw that other people had observed the altercation and would back me up on it if needed.  Yet, I felt reporting it would do nothing.  Outside of delay my arrival to work. 
I arrive at work and attempt to contain my feelings.  I am still angry about the situation.  How unwilling this guy was to cop to his part in the altercation.  His audacity in suggesting that he had to make a choice.  (the most insane response I have ever heard.  How about look around you before proceeding to an action?) I am new to this job and so many of my co-workers do not know me or how I am.  As well as their friends/regulars.  I chatted up this lady and we were bonding over our mutual love of NOLA, travel and so I went into my day and how I had walked to work and almost been hit.  This girl goes, "On Williams St?  I saw you!"  She proceeded to tell me that she was concerned that the driver would pull out a gun which had also crossed my mind.  Thankfully, not the case.
Small world getting smaller.  Of course, Emily had seen me get in the altercation with the driver.
Today, I am taking an uber.  Seems safer well and allowed me the time to blog, iron my clothes and drink some coffee.  Off to greet the day!

best moment of my life using only 4 words

I want to contemplate this.  What is the best moment of my life, so far?  I think there are too many to count.  I don't know.  This has stayed with me since I saw it on social media.  I read some of the comments and saw that most people attributed it to the birth of a child.  For me, this isn't applicable.  Definitely it would be food, travel or wine inspired. 
Or perhaps when I realized where home was.  I was sitting in a yoga studio attending a class on visualization.  The instructor talked us through a meditation. He was not the most gifted speaker and I struggled to completely lose myself in the experience.  I remember that vividly.  However, looking back, I experienced that moment of tranquility when I realized that I was the most happy in Denver.  I had drawn my visualization with a table.  On the table was a cake, candles, wine (obviously) and being surrounded by friends.  We were on top of a mountain and the sun was shining bright.  I remember thinking...that is Denver.  Denver is home. 
I took the steps to return home.  It hasn't been all unicorns and rainbows.  But, I have been diligent and determined to create a life here.  It is coming together and I am happy.  Ecstatic.
Another truly inspiring moment in my life--meeting Brian.  Working For Catering Company.  Four words.  Perfect.  And led me to meeting my soul mate.  A partner.  Love.  Yes, that would be the truer moment.  Meeting Brian from randomly working for a catering company.  That company is no longer in existence but created lifetime friendships.  My chiropractor, for example, is a direct result from that company.  Where I dined last night and experienced an amazing meal is a result of working at the catering company.  Brian, though, was the best part of my life.  He brought this part of me out that I had not yet experienced.  The desire to better myself.  To travel, experience life, love.  Yes, working there began that thread which has led me to now.  Returning home and creating a life.
I left to forget some of that grief. It overwhelmed me for awhile.  I am great at distracting myself from things I don't want to confront.  Instead of dealing with it, I run.  Be it travel, work, helping others....I find a way to avoid whatever the loss or grief is. 
Another moment--drinking wine from 1976.  A French burgundy.  I was in Las Vegas celebrating a friends wedding when I went to dinner with friends.  A close friend chose this bottle to celebrate me.  It was his way of celebrating our friendship and in front of other people. The meal that followed was incredible too.  I will forever love Michael mina and his expertise from that meal.
I could go on and on.  I have a lot of moments that have inspired me to stay the course or alter my livelihood.  I guess that is what I will continue to contemplate. 
Today I will be productive and maybe even create another best moment of my life.....

8/28

In my natural state.  Wine in hand at a comfortable place.  Somewhere I am secure in dining solo, meeting people and b.s.ing sports.  I love it!
I worked yesterday and managed to depart much earlier than anticipated.  I was a little undecided about how I should spend the evening.  I could pick up some bubbly and take out.  There is a spot that has a delicious Caesar salad and a side of meatballs that I have been enjoying the last few months.  Or, I could make dinner in my house.  I would need to pick up some greens and other vegetables but it was manageable. 
I continued to contemplate and then texted a chef friend of mine to see if he was working.  I love his spot and it has always been a safe haven.  He responded that he was not there but that I could stop by and meet him for wine.  That could be fun and I could bring him bubbly and celebrate my day with him.  Brian and I had our first date on August 28th.  We went to a Rockies game and downtown.  I celebrate my life with him.  In the past I have traveled to honor him and find incredible food.  Food was always an aspect of our relationship.  It just seemed fitting that I would dine out last night.
Thankfully the bartender is an acquaintance of mine and there was ample seating.  I walked in and chit chatted with the other customer until I chose mussels with chorizo and a Caesar salad.  Perfection. Ideal way to spend the anniversary.  It would have been fourteen years.
Tonight I am meeting another friend for Vietnamese food.  Upscale.  I have a love for Pho, banh mi and a whole slew of food from that region of the world.  Cannot wait to enjoy some dumplings.  First, though, I will attend Barre, see my chiro, receive a massage and thoroughly enjoy my day.
Cheers to the week!

Phoenix and the highlights

Three days in Phoenix.  Went by extremely fast.  Saw a bunch of people, taught yoga and went shopping.  I love the shopping in Phoenix.  I found my birthday dress--I think and a dress for Brie's wedding.  I had no idea that the consignment shop was offering 70% off until I went to the register to check out.  Imagine my surprise.  I was gleeful!  Beautiful coral dress for $6.  If only I had had more time to really shop there.
I managed to pick up work slacks, a blouse, another dress and four tops.  I scoped out a few shops around the Valley and felt great about what I picked up.  One of the shops has multiple locations.  Conveniently located near my favorite nail place (I always get a pedicure while in town.  The ladies remember me from bringing other friends and guests when I lived there.  I received an amazing pedicure.)  At any rate, I walked into the consignment shop and saw that the sales lady was talking with another client.  I perused the offerings.  Found a top that I was considering when another woman walks into the shop.  Immediately she is greeted unlike me.  I continue looking at dresses and listen to the conversation that ensues. The sales lady was excited to see this particular person since she could mention that her brother was now doing apps and wanted to know if this lady would be interested in using his services.  She actually started quoting prices for services at which point I chose to leave.  I didn't want to spend money in this place.  I was shocked at the lack of service and/or courtesy. 
I tell Jan and she tells me I should go to their other location and see what is available and mention it to them.  On Wednesday I attended a phenomenal flow and felt inspired.  I love the yoga community in Arizona and miss it. I miss attending classes where I know I can fully zone out and have my mind bent.  I cleaned up after the heated class and made my way to a different location of the consignment shop.  I didn't see anything that suited me and so I returned to central Phoenix to look at options there.  I tell Jan that I had visited their sister location but didn't bring up the previous day since I didn't buy anything.  Her suggestion was to return to the original store and shop if the sales associate was not there.  She wasn't.  Nor was the dress or the shirt that I had wanted to purchase. 
I shop and find a dress and work slacks that will be perfect for my new job.  I check out and mention to the sales associate that I had had a much better experience in their store and wanted to thank her for it.  She looks at me and I tell her what had happened the previous day.  How I had never been greeted.  How I watched the sales lady solicit business for her brother and how I was not impressed and walked out of the store without purchasing anything.
Her response....I am sorry.
She could have cared less.  I found myself understanding why people yelp crappy experiences.  It would have been much easier to get empathy on line than from this woman.  I wanted her to know that that was how people were made to feel while shopping and that perhaps her sales associate should not be soliciting business while at work.
Outside of the glitch there I had a fantastic shopping venture as noted. I saw friends and checked out new spots.  I really had a nice time. And another reminder that I love cultivating friendships and connecting people.  I took a break from it when I first returned to Denver.  Not anymore.
I taught yoga to my friend, Cody.  I met her while working at whole foods.  She was on my team and we bonded over our desire to travel, celebrate life and hike.  We have attended multiple yoga classes together and she knows that I am certified.  So we agreed to flow together at her house.  I was nervous as it is always challenging to teach friends.  The language and do I b.s. during the session or keep it professional?
It went well and then she gifted me 8 bags of coffee.  The coffee was considered old by whole foods and so she offered it to me.  When entering the airport, I was concerned that I would be stopped for the coffee.  I didn't feel that it was a security risk but somehow knew that I would be stopped.  I was.  The agent sorted through my things and I asked why I am being stopped.  His response--you say you packed your bag and yet don't know if it is the coffee or not.  It isn't opened so we will check it and then you can be on your way.
I wasn't impressed by his condescending attitude.  Or that he opened my purse to look at my jingle change.  He pulled my credit cards out, my cash and felt through the quarters.  I don't know why this is a threat to security but had been stopped in Seoul due to the change factor as well.
I made it through and bellied up to the only bar in terminal B.  Dire vibe, energy and so different to the bustle of the rest of the airport in Phoenix.  I survived.
Now back in Denver I am prepping for the beginning of my work week.  Also, planning my trip to NOLA.  It is a month out.  Time to organize!

upcoming trips and musings

Where to go next?  Is a yoga retreat in my future?  Beach trip?  Europe?  Or somewhere domestic?  I have trips planned through September and know of two to kick start 2017 but the remaining three months of 2016, I am open.  Wide open to what?  I don't know.  More yoga training.  A wine inspired trip or travel abroad. 
I see Spain, Italy, Montreal.  Many of the upcoming yoga retreats are hosted in Italy, Bali or the Caribbean.  I have been to Italy and so I hesitate to sign on to one of those.  If I went to Spain, I could potentially visit a friend of mine from college.  He and his wife live in Portugal through the end of the year.  After that, they are considering a return to the States.  Maybe the Midwest or Boston. 
There is a growing wine region in Uruguay.  I could so go there to explore that or some of the history of that country.  Panama and Columbia both intrigue me.  Or if I wait til April, I can join my friends yoga retreat to Nepal.  But, do I want to wait?  I am a little distracted and overwhelmed by all of the possibility.  I keep seeing reminders of living in the moment and creating memories.  That is 100% what I would like to be doing. 
I suppose I should think more on it before committing to a definite course of action.  Spain does sound lovely.  Or Greece.  I wonder what is the best place to travel in November or December.  I would love to go to my friend's wedding in December.  However, it doesn't seem like the best time for me or the occasion.  I would love to visit my friend when I can hang out with her.  I don't know.  I am still on the fence with it.  I have been to the Bahamas, twice.  If and when I achieve another passport stamp, I would like a new one.  I don't know that I want to return somewhere I have been before.
There are yoga and surf retreats that seem interesting.  I have been teaching friends yoga the past few weeks and recognize that I want to continue my own training.  Keep it fresh and interesting.  I don't want to rely on what I know.  I want to continue to teach and be relevant in that.  I look into my numerology or what I should be doing in my life.  Always see teaching, healing....I am trying to incorporate that into my livelihood.  Maybe take the time to spread a little experience in my current situation.  I did that last night.  Instead of getting worked up by how things normally go, I took action to ensure that people were aware of their tasks and that they needed to start doing them.  I mentioned being efficient and planning on being done in a timely manner.  Seemed like it worked and that everyone was on board.  I found myself on a departing train that was perfect.  I ended up sitting by my co-worker's wife and learning that she and I had a lot of people in common.  She used to work in the metro area and we had a lot of the same friends from the service industry.  She indicated that her husband did not have the same experience as he had only worked at the airport.  I think of all of the people I have met in my career from being in Denver to Phoenix and Santa Fe.  Some of my closest friends I met from working in this industry.   I am thankful for that and cannot imagine what it would have been like to only experience that perspective.  There are regulars that I still am in contact with.  The airport has some repeat clients that I have found but few and far between.  Or that I have seen.  I rarely hang out with my co-workers unlike another job that I have had.  Spending $7 for a beer is not something that I enjoy doing and sporting the uniform.  I have spent some time with a few of my co-workers but it always seems rushed.  Maybe it will open up later.
I am still considering where I want to go.  I am not worried about the how.  I feel that I will be heading abroad soon.  I only need to figure out the where.
Until later, I am off to flow, then brunch, then work.....

saturday plans and upcoming thoughts

Beautiful day and what a way to start it.  I woke up at 4:45.  I have no idea why.  Thankfully, I was able to fall back asleep til about 8.  At which point, I forced myself out of bed and out the door.  I have no coffee.  True story.  Always motivates me to greet the day.
I walked to a local coffee shop before heading to a market.  There are about three coffee shops within a six block radius which is convenient.  However, one is super corporate.  The other does not offer coffee creamer which is a huge no-no in my world.  I do not like drinking milk in my coffee.  I prefer creamer.  I stopped by one Sunday morning when my toilet was on the fritz and I was staying at Sara's house.  Sara is a generous hostess and normally has coffee creamer in her home.  That week while I was at her home, she was on a dairy free diet.  As you can see, I was a little distracted and my routine was disrupted.  I did not take kindly to being told there is a market down the street that sells creamer.  I wanted to kick the guy in the shins.   Especially after I spent $5.50 on Americano.  I was irritated.  The other coffee shop is okay.  I like the coffee and the vibe is okay.  Don't think it is a home for me though.  There is another shop east of where I live that I prefer.
At any rate, after getting coffee I headed to the market.  I wanted to restock my supply of coffee, tortillas, tomatoes--essentials in my livelihood.  I have been more able to make my own lunch and dinner recently.  Mostly due to the fact that I am too lazy to try to find dinner after work.  My schedule prohibits me from eating at normal times.  I tried to yesterday while working.  Meaning, I was hungry around 5 and tried to order food.  Of course, it didn't work out and I was irritated that I had forgotten to pack a protein bar in my bag.  At least that is something to offset the hunger.  I picked up bars to accompany me to work the next few days.
Barre class continues to inspire and motivate me.  And kick my ass!  Seriously!  I think I should be better at it and then I attend Shannon's class and I am dying.  Today, I was fine thru the arms and plank sequence.  Then we started the thighs and I was shaking.  My mind is screaming at me and I don't want to give up in the class but wow!...Was it painful!
Showered, eating lunch, mentally preparing for the day.  Week, even.  I need to arrange a chiropractor session, massage, some Barre classes, yoga teaching amongst other things.  There is much to do and I tend to fill up my days easily.  I would love to do a silver coin sort of day, haha.
Or, I was talking to Shari talking about trips.  I head to Phoenix in ten days and then there is New Orleans at the end of September.  Is there a way to head to Santa Fe for a few days?  Maybe spend some time at Ojo.  Definitely see friends and drink silver coins.  I am so going to make it happen.  I can and will!
I am inspired, knowing, that I am capable of putting my mind to anything.  Travel always rules

plans, intentions, wants

DIY project done.  Mostly, that is.  I need to apply a few additional coats of modge podge to feel really good about it.  Yesterday, I found myself wanting to have other projects.  Maybe I could check out good will or garage sales to see what I could make mine and better.  I like painting.  I have never done much of this outside of one room in an apartment years ago.  And in all honesty, it wasn't that great of a job.  I slapped the paint on and let it fall where it wanted.  Blemishes, splotches of paint and uneven terrain was the landscape of my room.  I am sure that my landlord loved having to repaint the room.
It felt good to put my mind to be productive and complete the task.  What is it they say about goal setting?  Try not to leap bounds to a huge goal which can ultimately leads to failure.  For example, starting my own business venture.  Thinking it is one thing.  Doing it a complete other.  Better to accomplish small tasks which lead to completing a big goal.  Easier to stay on point and inspired.  Like integrating teaching yoga into my weekly routine.  Am I ready to teach full time?  Not quite.  Is it helping that I am making it more of a priority?  Yes.  Illustrates to me that I am capable of doing my own thing and have a support network to open it up. 
I have been teaching yoga on a weekly basis to a few friends.  It ebbs and flows.  Some of my friends are consistent while others have good intentions and then life happens.  Work, scheduling, etc....I hope to have a little more flexibility as to when I am available.  Maybe I could manage to wake earlier and do early morning sessions.  That might work.  I do have friends that are early birds.  And, I am inclined to practice in the a.m. as opposed to evening sessions.  I prefer taking care of that aspect of my life early in the day. 
I walked downtown to meet my friend, Janna, for happy hour.  She relocated back to Denver and is slowly transitioning into a home purchase and work.  She works downtown and so it was easy to meet with her.  I wanted to walk to reflect on life.  Earlier in the day, I had received a chiropractic adjustment and a massage.  Both were phenomenal/needed and I could tell the Barre classes are effective.  I am dehydrated and my IT bands are screaming during most massages.  So walking felt right and essential.  The idea of parking also motivated me to walk.  I do not like parallel parking or heading downtown during rush hour.  Traffic is a time suck and has been annoying to me as of late.  I prefer getting outside and enjoying all of the sunflowers.  And music.  Always music. 
I pushed back my practice to accommodate my friend this morning. It will be a little bit of a rush but I still wanted to do it.  I am inspired to make it a recurring situation in my life. 
Slowly, I am putting together my apartment.  Hanging artwork, organizing and figuring out more things I want in my apartment.  A table, chairs, maybe another piece of furniture for my room.  The living room is fine as I am teaching yoga in it.  I can use the space.  My room however could use more color.  Really make it a home.  I am very happy to be back in Denver.  It is home.
I am off to create a sequence and plan the remainder of my day.  I see some time with the WP later and work.

hoping to travel and contemplating my Friday

I feel the itch...the itch to travel.  Wow, is it overwhelming me right now?!?!  I keep updating my Instagram with photos from previous trips--Vietnam, South Africa, Argentina, Havana, Belize and some of the stateside locations--New Mexico and California.  I would love to return to wine country.  It has been too long since I have wine tasted in Cali.  Or, I have always flirted with the idea of doing a harvest.  I think it is still doable.  In my mind, I remain fierce and physically fit.  Yesterday, I helped lift two kegs and felt incredible.  Well, until I walked back to the bar and did a body scan.  Did I lift it wrong?  Had I tweaked my back?  How did I cut my finger, haha?  At any rate, I am overwhelmed with my desire to travel. 
I go into work and think about how much I would prefer flying from the airport instead of going to work.  I would like to have a glass of wine and reflect on the things I am going to do in indeterminate locations.  Sounds lovely!  And sometimes, people actually speak to each other instead of peruse their phones.  That is nice to see when people actually communicate with others.
Today is my "Friday" and much deserved.  Yesterday was busy!  Super busy.  Just to be a little too informative, I didn't urinate once while working.  Translation I was extremely dehydrated.  I had a headache, my eyes hurt and I had a Charlie horse in my calf.  Talk about being miserable, physically.  I did manage to inhale a protein bar.  Thankfully!  Otherwise, I think I would have acquired tunnel vision and passed out.  Even orange juice wouldn't have saved me.  Seriously!  It was pretty rough,
I returned home and stopped to purchase coconut water.  I needed something to rehydrate me and fast.  Drank some lemon water and was able to have a lovely night of sleep. 
So, yes, I am looking forward to this being my Friday. Tomorrow, I have a barre class scheduled, a yoga class to teach and other possibilities.  Meeting with friends and thinking about travel.  I loved Vietnam.  There are other places in Southeast Asia that I am interested in going.  Or, South America has always been intriguing to me.  I studied latin American history in college. I would love to check out Panama, Columbia and possibly return to Argentina.  I have a wedding I can attend in the Bahamas on NYE.  I am still considering it.  I am conflicted since I have been to the Bahamas twice before and how much time will I really have to spend with my friend?  She will be surrounded by family and celebrating her love which is awesome and I am truly happy for her. 
Yet, I want to travel for me.  So, can I make a trip to Columbia stick?  Or should I venture elsewhere?  My friend, Shana, just returned from Spain and Morocco.  I could see myself in either of those places, easily.  So much to consider....
I am off to work.  More reflection, abundance and hope!

Happy Monday!  It is going to be a great week.  I feel it.  I have managed to arrange a few treatments--massage and chiropractor adjustment.  As well as scheduling a couple yoga sessions in my apartment.  I will teach a fellow instructor.  Although her focus is Barre and so it will be interesting to see what she has to say.  I went to a few classes as a student in the last week.  I missed being led and wanted to see what is currently being taught.  An intention is always set in the class and some emphasis is placed on breath.  There seems to be a disconnect, though, with why we breathe and how important it is to yoga.  One of the sequences was not user friendly.  I think the instructor put thought into it, sure.  But it didn't flow well. 
I am hoping to continue my practice.  I told my dad that I wanted to continue my training to be inspired and invigorated.  My friend/mentor, Paige, has a training in Hawaii in February and another in April in Nepal.  The idea of Nepal is intriguing but costly.  At this point, I think I might benefit doing something local and/or cost effective.  Local meaning Arizona or New Mexico.  I love the scene in Phoenix and feel that I could benefit from another training there at a later date.  I think I want to continue seeing different approaches and perspectives.  I would love to go to Hawaii but timing wise, it doesn't gel. It cannot be an option as I will be heading to Los Angeles to celebrate Brian's life.  Shari and I chose that location while in Vietnam.  I haven't been to L.A. since 2007 with the exception of a brief layover in 2012.  My friend, Marc, relocated there and so we will hopefully meet up with him for a few martinis.  Marc is a vodka man. 
I might venture out to the suburbs to check out a friend's yoga studio.  I would love to take her class but currently, my schedule does not permit it.  We will see.
Or there is another studio that is based out of Arizona.  It is a heated studio and I love the owner.  She is gracious, welcoming, friendly.  I like her and wish I loved her sequence based classes.  I don't.  However, I do like that they are a legit heated studio.  If only it were closer.  Still I might make the 5:30 am class tomorrow.
I will be in AZ in a few weeks.  I wanted to go shopping and see friends.  I figure I could do some yoga--maybe practice teach on a few of my friends and hit a studio that I like.  I only took a few days off.  In hindsight, I should have taken more.  That way I could really take the time to do yoga. And see all of my friends.  The list continues to grow.  There is Cody, Justin, Christina, Jan, Lisa, the people at former jobs....Of course, I would love to see all of them and dine.  Probably not the best plan and so I will make some modifications.
I have a few weeks to figure it out.  In the meantime, I seem to fill up my days off with friends, travel or yoga.  This week, I will see my friend, Janna.  I met her while living in Phoenix yet both of us are from Kansas.  She had lived in Denver and fell in love with the city similar to me.  Her job took her to Phoenix up until last week.  We are going to meet for happy hour on Wednesday.  Thursday I am either meeting the Goddess or Lydia for yoga. 
There are other opportunities that will occur.  I feel it.  Today is a great day.

Friends and remembering how I like to move

Lunch with my whole foods friends.  Hoping to see both of them--Cody and Justin on my visit this month.  Justin is a great dining companion and I have done multiple hikes and/or yoga sessions with Cody.  Actually, Cody visited me earlier this month.  She and her husband drove out to Philly to attend the DNC and I was one of their first stops on their cross country venture.  It was wonderful to host them.  My first guests in my new place. 

I am still accessorizing and upgrading my things.  As always, I have simplified my life.  I have moved from college in my car to Phoenix.  When I left Phoenix, the first time, I packed up my Nissan and found myself in Denver.  Again, with minimal belongings and when I left Denver in 2011, I packed up Veronica and headed south.  This time, I did manage to store my artwork and other bigger items at a friend's industrial garage.  They were more than accommodating to me while I figured out where I wanted to be.  Then a passing boyfriend picked up those items and brought them to Phoenix.  My artwork.  My table and chairs and some items accrued during my life with Brian.  Things that I had associated with him that I was hanging on to.

When I moved to Santa Fe, again, I moved my car with items and bought a rental car in other weekends to move my life.  My friend, Jan, convinced her boyfriend to cart my bed, artwork and table and chairs there for me. 

I returned to Denver and stored my stuff at the Warrior Prince's apartment.  I made multiple trips in rental cars and brought the remainder of my belongings in Veronica on her last trip north.  Ironically, I return to Denver and finally decide to rid myself of some of the things that I have carted around with me for the last ten years.  Table and chairs.  A bike I gifted to the community in Santa Fe.  Some artwork that I am ready to let go.  Clothing--lots of purging there. Feels good and right to let go of items that have been boxed and carted from place to place in my car. I would like to acquire a new table and chairs.  Thinking a caberet style or cute Parisian café table.  Boutique with a few chairs.  I have the space to do yoga, at home, which I am loving.  A sofa was left for me to use and it is clean and comfortable.  Tan and so not clashing with the rest of the living room.

I digress.  I wanted to blog about the drama with my landlady.  I still cannot believe that she thought an indoor camping porta potty would be a viable option.  If the roles were reversed, I wonder how she would handle it.  Disposing of her own waste while paying rent to someone.  Hmmmm.....seems insane.  Or as I also like to think  of it....she gave me a colostomy bag.  So gross! 

I am heading to AZ to visit, do yoga and shop.  Maybe I will find my ultimate dress to wear in NOLA.  September celebrations will be right around the corner and soon.  I must begin to make reservations for my venture.

Til then, cheers!

Thinking of my present

New day.  New possibilities.  Tomorrow begins a new week.  I will be organizing yoga dates and meeting friends for dinner.  There is a happy hour I might go.  Depends on who else is going.  My friend that arranged it is great and I enjoy spending time with her.  However, some of her friends.  Well, not people I want to spend my free time with.  I am sure that I can figure something else out.
I am wrapping up my insurance claim, I hope.  The chiropractor/massage combination has been extremely helpful in the healing process.  I feel better and the pain is lessening. 
I am ready to incorporate more of a group type of teaching.  I want to try that out and see how I do.  I will continue to seek out friends and their acquaintances as a way to ease into full time teaching.  I feel better when I do it and am maybe more connections. I am thankful to be back in Denver and creating a home here.  It's different as time changes things.  I know this and am not surprised.  I still have a strong network of friends and family.  The first eight months I was a little distracted.  Things happened--accident, finding a new car, working bull shit jobs, leaving bullshit jobs, travel, more travel, making others a priority and delaying the inevitable.  That I want to be teaching yoga. 
I am here now and ready.  Finally.  And thankful that I chose to be in Denver.  I met with a friend the other night that mentioned wanting to relocate in the next year.  She feels done with being here.  I didn't really comment on her speech. I don't feel the same way.  I love it here.  Always have.  Easy to travel out of.  Great restaurants, bars, healthy vibe....home, for me.  They say that like attracts like.  I think about what I have been thinking about.  Better yet.  What I am thinking about now and how that is illustrated in my encounters.  I see how I was in a fog when I first arrived.  It was easier to fall back into what was comfortable as opposed to broadening my horizon.  Cliché.  Sure.  I know.  And true.  There were some new arenas that I flirted with as well.  I do not regret that time or how it brought me to where I am now. Only perhaps I could have distanced myself sooner and found a way to start teaching.  Having the confidence to try something new.  Why is it so difficult to leave our comfort zones?  I think about wanting to write some of my life and experiences.  Believe me, I have an interesting tale and yet continue to censor myself when it comes to this area of my life.  I either take breaks from the blog or feel uninspired when I do try to relay some of the information.  The teaching is helping and I am saving money by not attending studios for the time being.  I would like to begin compensation for teaching.  I will soon.  Still deciding what to charge and how to make it a frequent occurrence.  It will come.  I feel it.
There is an abundance of work and creating connections there too.  I have experienced some repeat clientele and am happy.  I see more possibility in the next week.
I will be tackling my DIY project.  I keep looking at it and rearranging the photo montage.  I add photos and subtract from what I have set up.  I want it to be an honest reflection of people in my life.  A good representation of the people I call friends even if I am distanced from some of them currently.  At the time a memory was created.  That remains important.
I am off to greet the day before heading to work.  I will teach Sara Jo later.  I will consider a new flow and how to sequence it.  I am excited!

currently

Returned home.  Finally.  Enjoyed a solid three days off.  Not going to lie.  Absolutely loved it.  The first day, I was semi-domestic (laundry) and moved back into my apartment.  The toilet was fixed, tile grouted and sink put back together.  I met Tiffany and Dan for happy hour which benefitted a cause before enjoying a lovely dinner at a great spot.
Thursday, I was adjusted, massaged and met a friend from high school for happy hour.  We met at a spot that hosts multiple shops, restaurants and bars.  Pretty cool to bar hop within it.  I had arranged a meet with Matt to teach yoga on Thursday morning.  I thought about canceling it myself.  I returned home that morning to sweep, clean and reorganize.  My apartment was left dirty.  I was surprised, moderately, that the workers felt confident in leaving my place worse than they found it.  Seriously.  How difficult would it have been to sweep and put everything back in its place? 
I didn't mention that to my landlady on Friday. Instead, I continued to be reasonable.  I wanted her to pro-rate my rent.  When I approached her about it, she was hesitant.  Mentioned wanting to talk to her insurer before making any arrangements with me.  Keep in my mind, though.  Legally, I could have went to a hotel, ordered room service and billed her.  I pay a fair amount of rent and that translates to basic needs being met.  Not using a porta potty to urinate.  That really bothered me.  Similar to giving me a colostomy bag.  Not a solution or option.
Friday was about taking care of that and ensuring a peaceful return to domestic life.  I am reasonable.  I want what is fair. Initially on Friday, I taught yoga then dealt with domestic b.s.  Followed by a barre class where I established another contact.  I want to make a legitimate go of health and fitness.  After meeting with Matt on Friday and teaching him my style of yoga, I know that I am ready to do this full time.  I am stoked.  He gave me the best compliment.  Told me my adjustments were killer and I was intuitive on how to do it. As well as, why wasn't I already teaching?
So in the next month, I am going to decide where I want to end up.  I am telling friends and family of my desires.  I want to teach and continue as a student. I do love that. 
I signed up for a half in Key West.  Take two.  It will be lovely this time. 
I consider my future and where I would like to travel. Columbia?  Spain?  Morocco?
I really am being guided by what feels right. I feel a change is occurring.  Transition.  I feel it.  See it. Breathe it. 
I am in a better place in my present than I have been in awhile.  I recognize how imperative it is make connections.  That is what I like and where I shine.  I forgot that when I first returned home.  I forgot that I am so happy when I am cultivating relationships.  I will build on it.
So yea, currently, I am happy.  Seeing where I am and where I would like to be.  Dining out, drinking wine, seeing friends.  I am one fortunate girl!

the current state of affairs

Still at Sara's house.  My toilet remains packaged outside my place.  There has been progress and so I am hopeful. Of course there has been other chaos in light of my plumbing issue.  An apartment flooded on the garden level.  My sink is also torn apart.  Etc....I believe there is more and sort of tuned it out.  I only want my bathroom fixed so that I can return home.
Sara has been a generous and gracious hostess.  Always.  I am ready to be in my routine again.  You know?  Wake up, coffee, yoga/barre/spin, work, glass of wine.  Repeat.  Of course, I can do this at Sara's house but I feel more comfortable in my own space.  Soon.  It will happen.
I have a few days off.  Must buy groceries, toiletries, wine for Sara.  Schedule some yoga and perhaps do a few exercise classes.  I was scheduled four shifts this week and considered heading back to Santa Fe to visit friends or go elsewhere.  That always seems to be my way.  Days off translates to wanting to go somewhere else to see friends or clear my mind.  Comfort zone.  This go around I will stay in Denver and figure out my housing situation.  I might be overly domestic the next few days.  There is the dresser with the DIY idea.  I could tackle that.  Or pick up my plants and make space for them in my place.  I suppose it all hinges on being able to use my toilet and sink. If that is still not functioning, I will not be returning home.  Seems shortsighted to be there when I do not have full use of the indoor plumbing. 
I called one of my college friends to inform her of my current situation.  We lived in Mexico for two months.  I know she has experienced malfunctioning toilets in her life.  Actually, I took a trip to Seattle a few years back to take care of her.  She had a minor surgery done and needed a little help with her recovery.  I told her that I would fly out and clean, cook, whatever.....keep her supplied with wine.  I mentioned that I wasn't too keen on being a nurse maid. 
While at her house, I was doing laundry and her toilet backed up while the machine was in its cycle.  I knew what this meant since had experienced a similar situation in Denver.  She needed a new septic pump.  Her landlady made her wait all day to check out the situation.  Meanwhile we were frequenting grocery stores and convenience markets to use a facility.  Yea, she understands the irritation of having a nonfunctional toilet.
Supposedly, it should be fixed by today as well as the sink and repainted.  We shall see.  I am hopeful that I will be back in my own bed tonight.

Travel, toilet issues and yoga.....all feels familiar

Spent a few days in Kansas.  Quick, quick trip.  I woke up at 4 on Wednesday to ensure an arrival time of noon.  I knew that the time change would add more time and I had a lunch date with Carol to make.
I had coffee prepped, showered, grabbed my bag and took off.  I did watch a little more of the wire before departing.  Figure I had plenty of time to head out.  I exited onto 1-70.  Set cruise control and drove about a mile before being forced to stop.  Trying to be patient I kept changing the station.  I thought the traffic had bottle necked.  That happens sometimes.  I'm still sitting there twenty minutes later with no opening in sight.  I cannot see what is delaying traffic and I start to get frustrated.  Eventually, I google traffic in Denver and see that there is an accident that shut down 70 about two miles from where I am sitting.  Crap.  I am irritated and considering options.  I start my way over to the exit and plan my escape route.  Ironically, the exit is right where the rollover occurred.  So, I exit to flip around and re-enter 1-70 an hour after I started.  Basically, waking up at 4 did nothing for me.  I would arrive at 1 instead of noon.
It's been awhile since I have driven east to Kansas.  There are some improvements along the way.  More service stations offering items.  Yet, it still feels empty til Hays, if not, Salina.  I rolled through Salina about 12:30 and headed to Lindsborg.  I picked Carol up from her residence and drove to the downtown area to have lunch at one of the local spots.  It was so nice to see her and catch up.  Carol was my first boss.  Her and her husband owned a gift shop in Salina where first my mom worked.  Then, my older sister.  Then me.  They employed me all through high school.  I learned a lot about customer service from her.  We have kept in contact to some degree since then.
After lunch, I drove to Manhattan and stopped at a local brewery.  I have never spent much time in Manhattan since I went to school in Lawrence.  Lawrence is a lovely college town.  I became an adult there.  I love visiting Lawrence.  For the first time, ever, I saw the beauty of Manhattan.  Lively, with options and services.  We made dinner at Jasmin's house and I spent the evening with her, her boyfriend and daughter.  So much fun.  I had forgotten how humid/miserable it can be in the summer.  Thankfully, Jasmin had multiple fans to ease some of the heat. 
I woke up yesterday and we dressed quickly to head out.  Jasmin had an appointment and then gave me a facial before I drove back to Denver.  That was the best thing ever.  Currently I do not have a regular stylist for facials.  I need to figure that out.
Driving back west, I had some issues after I arrived in Hays.  Boredom.  Some traffic.  More semi's and when would I make it back to Denver?  Seemed like it took forever.  My landlady called me to let me know that the plumber would be entering my apartment and was I there?  Honestly, I was irritated that she didn't give me any notice and then felt agitated when I called her out on it.  Yes, I agree.  The issue needs to be addressed and should be.  However, it is her responsibility to contact me when she talks to the plumber to arrange a good time for me. 
Instead, the plumber entered my apartment and found that the issue was much larger than anticipated.  They would need a day and a half to two days to fix the toilet.  She chose to let them leave my apartment without a functioning toilet.  She advised me that I could use her place, one of my neighbor's places or a chamber pot.  WTF?  Am I living in the 1900's?
I am trying to make the best of it and not freak out.  I want the issue fixed as it seems to be recurring from before I moved in.  It should have been addressed prior to my moving in.  I work the next few days and so am not that concerned with using a working toilet.  Just irritated and think this can only happen to me.
When I was staying with Maghan, he had issues with his toilet.  The water constantly ran.  So, he turned it off and made due for when I was there.  He contacted his landlord, reluctantly (finally) to see what could be done.  Three times the plumber came and three times within a day the water was back to nonstop running.  It appeared easier to just turn it off.  And seeing what I am dealing with, currently, I would agree.  I should have just continued to plunge every third day.  The squeaky wheel does not always get lubed in a good way.
I have been doing more one on one privates practicing my teaching style.  I think it is coming along.  I hope to increase the frequency and maybe even have more than one person at a time.  We'll see.
I am thankful for my friends, family and abundance.  Spending time with Emma was delightful.  She is a hoot.  I hope to drive out again for a longer time.  Til later, cheers!

more thoughts on yoga, barre and DIY projects

I did make it to the Barre class this morning.  I drove up and waited for the instructor to arrive and unlock the establishment.  Waiting in my car, I thought about what would happen if she didn't show up. Would I be credited a class?  How long should I wait? 
She arrived 8 minutes before the class was to start which is fine.  I prefer having a little more downtime prior to working out.  You know?  Stretch, settle, maybe use the facility.  There were ten other ladies in the class of all shapes and sizes.  I do like that about Barre class.  It inspires all to participate and feel the burn.  Atypical of this location, the girl only wanted us to grab a ball and two blocks.  It seems that the majority of instructors like props to use during the class.  Most of them require a strap, weights and the exercise ball.  It is a bit much and I tend to not like to have to put everything away when finished.  That becomes annoying.  Especially if I want to bolt from the class before it is over.  I don't feel right leaving the props for someone else to put away. 
We started and the music seemed okay.  Midway through the class I was hating the music and the sequence.  The beats were not matching up with her reps and I was getting irritated.  Now I know so I will probably add her to the list of instructors that I avoid.  She wasn't terrible and I felt a semi-burn but it wasn't enough.
I spoke to Taylor, the Goddess, Matt (my current massage therapist), Sara and a few others about the prospect of me teaching yoga.  Matt was surprised that I was certified.  Somehow he never heard me say that.  He seemed excited to do yoga with me.  I have an idea that perhaps we could trade or something and both benefit from the arrangement.  We will see.
I am excited to be doing more of that--teaching and seeing how my style develops.  I get distracted by everything that I want to do.  More chatarangas.  Detoxing twists.  More flow sequences.  I didn't time it and so I really don't know how long Brie and I practiced.  I would have liked to have put in a few head stands or even crows.  I like arm balancing.  I ran out of time though since I was distracted by what I wanted to do.  I believe it will be different every day as not everyone is at the same level.  And I am inspired to change it up.  Who wants to teach the same class every single day?  That is definitely not for me.
Gorgeous day to sleep in.  Wow, I am inspired to stay inside and plot my dresser project.  I think it will take me a little bit of time to do it.  I think it is manageable and something that I would like to try.  I have photos, so many, from my adventures.  Most remain boxed up or in albums which have been packed away.  My memories are my most prized possession.  I think it will be fun to display them on furniture.  I think it will be pretty amazing.  If not, lesson learned.
I have been dreaming of odd things lately.  I woke up to remnants of coke on a table.  I don't know what I am dreaming about cocaine.  I have never tried it nor do I want to.  Maybe someone close to me is doing it.  I don't know?  What does it mean?
I am off to work.  Excited to run into this couple from NYC that I met yesterday at a local brewery.  I walked there after shopping at a market.  I love being in a situation where I can walk to a market, coffee shop, brewery.  This brewery was packed, hosting a fundraiser that helps a women's shelter.  Great cause and many people had shown up in support of it. The couple next to me won note cards which motivated me to talk to them.  They love visiting Denver and have been here the last three summers.  They fly out today and so I suggested stopping by where I will be working today.  I hope they do.  I recommended a few restaurants that they should check out on their last night.  We'll see.

passing and recycling

Life is short.  Believe me, of most people, I absolutely understand the importance of saying what you mean, doing what you want, etc.  Tonight, I am reminded, again, that sometimes reason takes the back court to what is necessary.
My uncle passed.  They still don't know why.  He was a good man.  Gentle, kind, involved.  My sister called to let me know the news.  I thought she was calling to thank me for coming out to Oregon to celebrate her daughter's graduation.  How wrong I was.
I think of things in my life.  What I would like to communicate and sort.  Instead, I hide behind what is known. Why?  Does it make it any easier?  NO.  Especially when I receive news like tonight.  My uncle was a good man.  He had four kids  and many many grandkids.  Seems nonsensical.
I was gifted a dresser two days ago.  Mint green with wood surfaces.  I thought about how I would like to upgrade this.  Looked at DIY websites and eventually walked away.  I wanted to really think about what I wanted to do.  Should I cover it in newspaper?  Wall paper?  Photos?
Or do a mix of newspaper and photo?  Eventually, I realized that I wanted to do a montage of black and white photos with some colors intertwined.  I would coat the sides of the dresser, the top and the mirror. I will leave the cabinets to green.  Still undecided as to if I do the base with black and whites photos.
I will attend an early morning barre class.  Think 6:15.  Then work.  Rest and repeat.  I have plans with Sara Jo and a coffee date with my aunt on Sunday.  I am well.  Thriving. 
Tomorrow is a good day.  Full of opportunity and possibility.  I am excited to be here now.

cramming

I am trying to do as much as I can when I am in Santa Fe next week.  It's confirmed.  I managed to arrange three days off.  I am not looking forward to the drive back in the afternoon.  I know that I will be tired and it will take longer than I want. 
I have three days and two nights.  Potentially stop by the bbq spot in Rye in both directions.  I am thankful to Maghan for suggesting that as a stopping point on my most recent visit.  We drove down to purchase my car and got delayed by a blizzard.  I still cannot believe that I chose to drive in the white out conditions.  I really despise driving in snow.  I feel that I am terrible at it.  Yet, that particular day, I was tenacious.  We had to leave to get Calliope (my new volvo. I so miss Veronica!)  There is something to be said about determination.
Back to Rye...Potty and beer.  Excellent decision.  We stopped both directions and were not disappointed either time.  They hail from Texas and so there are more things to check out.  Shakes, bbq, beer.  Great concept and perfect stopping point. 
There is yoga.  Either at the Railyard or Thrive.  Dependent on my arrival and who is teaching.  I'll be honest.  I would love to support either of these ladies.  I  have more loyalty to the latter since I helped them with checking people in when they initially started up.  I feel more loyal to them.  And, it is teacher dependent.  I want something great!
Silver coins will be abundant.  That is a definite must.  I have arranged dinner with Teo for Tuesday.  I see chips and salsa in my future. Ojo Caliente for Wednesday with Melody, see Lawrence, maybe Danielle and some others. I have a lunch date for Thursday that is going to happen.  I owe the golf instructor lunch from a bet that I lost.  I should never bet with my heart and it leads to disappointment.  I'm talking basketball here.  I am such a fan of my team that I lose perspective and get caught up in the madness.  I basked in their victory in 2008. Toasted the awesomeness with a blue shot provided by the lovely bartenders that evening.  I remember strolling into a work meeting--why must someone ever plan a mandatory meeting at 9:30 at night?--drunk, happy and unable to focus on the talking points.  Again, I return to why anyone ever thought this was a good idea?  Not only was it my day off but the national championship where my team was a contender.  Of course I watched the game and toasted life.
I digress.  Lunch will happen and then I will return to reality.  Possibly stop in Rye on my return, do laundry and then hit the ground running.  Must prepare for other trips and making them happen.
Tomorrow brings massage, dinner with Jenn and potentially figuring out my laundry situation.  My apartment listed that they had laundry on site.  Somehow, the washing machine has been broke since my arrival.  I have been relying on the Warrior Prince's place to do my laundry.  Somewhat inconvenient and I should figure it out.  I am not a fan of laundromats.  They freak me out.  I prefer doing laundry at home, on site or at a friends' house, haha. 
Let's see how this plays out.  I might be seeking out the WP for some more laundry.  Or, my aunt.  Til then, cheers!

what feels familiar

Why is it that it is always easier to fall back into the familiar?  Instead of growing from experiences people tend to return to what is comfortable.  Instead of moving forward in a relationship, we fall back into what we know.  Become nostalgic about things we have lost.  Be it previous relationships, old jobs, friends, childhood.  People romanticize the past and what it was.  I have done this.  Actually, I have been more willing to explore relationships with unavailable men.  Safer for me to not give my heart away.  I gripped my love of Brian and that relationship and refused to be open to anyone else.  In many ways, I am still in that holding pattern.  That was my defense mechanism and way to keep myself safe. 
I returned to Denver and faced some of the grief that had remained in my heart.  I had to.  I had pain between my shoulders that forced me to let go of the grief.  Denver represented Brian, our future and how I lost that when he died. 
It was home for me, too.  A place I had grown to feel comfortable in my own skin, to bask, to discover strengths.  I love it here.  I have wonderful friends.  A community, a support network, a life.  I want to be here.  And I want to move past what has been familiar to me.  I'm ready.
For others, that means, sleeping all day, subduing themselves with whiskey or weed, and basically falling into a cycle of uncleanliness.  I am being judgmental, I know.  It just doesn't make sense to me to go this route especially after being told that they feel depressed, unmotivated, uninspired.  So you continue to frequent your neighborhood bar to ease out of your depression?
Familiar to me, is the desire to travel and making it happen.  In the last week, I have booked three trips that span the next three months.  I am still considering foreign travel (always) and committing to work to ensure that this does, in fact, happen.  I have made some loose arrangements to see friends in the prospective cities.  I tend to overbook and overindulge with friends.  It is my way.  I try to squeeze as much into a three day venture as possible.  I bring people together to do more and sometimes it works.  Others, not so well.  From experience I know friends that mix well together.  I have learned to not force interactions amongst my friends.  Leads to frustration and a one upping contest which I never particularly enjoy or hope to participate in.  Leaves me cold actually. 
There will be yoga in Santa Fe and Phoenix.  Thrift store shopping in both of these places and the food factor overload in New Orleans.  I am trying to figure out where I want to dine to celebrate my birthday.  Too many options currently that I must narrow it down.  Of course, I will dine with friends in Santa Fe and Phoenix.  Silver coins, wine bars and friends. I cannot wait!
I return to sending notes to friends and waiting for responses.  A few of my friends play along. I have a loyal childhood friend that always communicates with me in this manner.  I am very thankful for Jennifer's friendship.  We both ended up in New Mexico for a bit of time where we reestablished our friendship.  I gifted her my excess wine glasses.  That is one thing I never seem to lack in.  I move often, purge my life of unwanted items and always have wine glasses.  There are possibly twelve to eighteen that I currently have in my possession now.  Maybe, one day, I will host a party where I use all of my glasses.  I have done this in the past.  I think it was 2007.  Sara Jo and I hosted an epic house warming party.  I thought it was epic.  I walked around with a bottle of wine in my hand and greeted friends.  My glass remained full.
I am ready to try new things and grow.  I have been on this road for some time.  I flirt with the idea of being my own boss.  I do hope to Segway into this.  Yoga helps me accomplish this to a certain degree. I want to teach more and plan on doing this with my friends. It is a priority to me. 
My day off brings another Barre class.  My latest obsession.  Such a great work out and continues to motivate me.  Slowly I am finding instructors that play appropriate music.  I am not into the club vibe in spin or cycle classes.  I really want hip hop.  Old school hip hop is the best in my opinion.  The girl who teaches today is a trainer and I know that I will feel the workout all day today.  She is great. 
Until later if I am inspired, I am off to enjoy my day off!  Push past your own limitations and thrive!

thankful and current wants

Blessings of the day...being able to take a salt bath.  The only thing missing was lavender essential oil which I will be purchasing in the next few days to ensure that I have it for the next bath.  Likely to occur next week if not Saturday.  I do love a nice bath.  I have been thinking about it for over a week and then kept seeing reminders of how necessary an Epsom bath is on social media.  Longing for it, haha, I finally made it happen.  What peace it brought.  I should bring wine with me next time and not rely on the WP's supply.  Or lack of supply it seems.  He is interested in whiskey, rye and bourbon it seems.  None of which seemed appealing while taking a bath. Thankfully, I found some vermouth which seemed more medicinal and appropriate for the bath.
This morning I woke up a little disoriented as to what day in the week it is.  Work is all consuming, abundant and exhausting. I have been drinking more water and trying to be eating on somewhat of a routine.  Helps me stay hydrated and effective in this heat and the work environment.  I have been taking spin and barre classes as well.  Another attempt to stay healthy and hydrated.  Otherwise, I see how people descend into a routine of work, drink, and sleep til about an hour before returning to work.  I do not want to fall into that cycle.  I am too aware of how easy it is to do.
I am practicing yoga with my friend, Brie, this morning.  My second ever teaching opportunity to begin my yoga teaching practice.  I want to Segway into more bodywork and less physically demanding work in the next few years.  I feel it is time.  I think of my journey and what inspired me to get certified--lame yoga in Santa Fe.  Now, I would love to take a class in Santa Fe instead of struggling to find a class in Denver.  I hope to fly to Phoenix in August to do some yoga.  I miss it that much.  The yoga scene/community is the best of what I have found.  Challenging, upbeat and with hip hop (my favorite part of the experience).   I do not need an intention to come to my mat as is the practice in Denver.  Some weird, random and inappropriate (often) story to the importance of practicing yoga.  I just want to start my work out, decompress and find peace in the hour.  That is always my hope.
So being told some story actually puts me in a place of agitation since I think of how inappropriate it is and how frustrated I am.  Or how I made a mistake and should have skipped this instructor's class.  There is a teacher that has a challenging flow but that I don't like as a person.  She is arrogant and preachy.  Disingenuous and not authentic.  I have tried to like her class, work past my own limitations with her as a person.  I cannot.  I get so wrapped up in my dislike of her that I struggle through the sequence.  If she played better music, I think I might be able to drown out my thoughts by focusing on that.  However, that is not a likely option.  Lately, the last few times I have forced myself to endure her class, she has played the new agey yoga music which makes my ears bleed.
I digress.  I am looking forward to practicing in my new space.  I think I will rely on my training and the ashtanga sequence.  Seems the most legitimate way to practice in an authentic manner.  This is how I like to practice.
I keep hearing people mention Chicago or San Francisco.  I think a trip to one of those grand cities will be occurring by the end of the year.  I love exploring the food scene in each of these cities.  Always exciting, welcoming and adventurous.
I have plans and dreams.  Some goals, too.  Maybe a little lofty but honest.  I had wanted to go to Columbia this year.  I think it is more likely to occur in 2017.  I have a few friends who wish to accompany me--the Mini and my friend, Cody.  Met her while working at whole foods and she has become a friend for life.  Fierce, determined, funny.  I do enjoy hiking with her.
I must begin my day.  Mop before Brie comes over. Cheers!

routines

Typical day.  Wake up, scrape tongue, consider oil pulling (I have the coconut oil but it is liquefied currently), drink hot lemon water to promote hydration, make coffee, think about breakfast so that I can take my vitamins (need food to offset the nausea of the vitamin B) and repeat.  Oh and spray face with witch hazel to help moisturize.  My new daily routine.  Seems tedious and yet somehow, I am managing to abide by it. 
My optometrist expressed the importance of taking vitamins.  Specifically vitamin C, D, B and fish oil.  When I went for my latest check up he told me that I would soon be needing readers due to my age.  That is the first thing to go.  Something that I am not looking forward to.  I have worn contacts since the age of 13 and glasses prior to that. I have always struggled with my eye sight.  So although this is not new to me, the idea of having bifocals is terrifying.  I am inhaling vitamin C to slow down the process.
I wake up moderately early and hope to extend my rest before heading to work.  I am exhausted from yesterday and yet looking forward to my upcoming barre class.  My latest obsession.  I have chosen to do these as opposed to yoga.  I will practice yoga in my home with friends.  I think I have a plan on where to practice but the when is challenging.  My membership enables drop in rates that are decent but the available instructor, often, is one that I do not like.  She is arrogant and I cannot shake that feeling when I am taking her class.  I have tried, multiple times, to like her but she isn't authentic and it shines through.
So I will practice at home.  Seems reasonable and something I want to explore.  I am certified and have put my teaching on hold.  Distracted by living situations, work and travel.  Oh and the car accident definitely distracted me.  I am still dealing with that and the aftereffects.  I have a new medical adjustor that seems kind and fair.  My chiropractor informed me last week that he was relocating to Milwaukee.  That was news to me and impulsive.  I told him that it sounded like something I would do.  Up and move to do it just to do it.  He laughed when I mentioned that.
I figure I will seek out his replacement to get a second opinion before making any other move.  I have a few massages left with Matt.  Recently, I have been dehydrated which is showing through in my massages. My IT bands and meridians in my arms scream with pain when I am being adjusted.  I think the barre classes are contributing to the IT band strain as well as my lack of ability to drink more water during the day. I need to change that as it is hot.  I need to be hydrated for my health and livelihood.
I walked around the neighborhood the other night and found it pleasing.  I had forgotten how much I enjoy being in the city.  When I first returned to Phoenix, I lived with Jan and Tom in one of the western parts of the city.  I was used to walking around Cap Hill in Denver and wanted to do this in Phoenix.  The nearest market was two and a half miles away.  Stubbornly, I walked to the store and hated every minute of it.  It's freaking hot in Phoenix without shade.  I walked to the store and was thankful when I arrived and despised the walk back to their home.  I attempted this a few times before giving up.  It was preferable to drive.
Now, I am in a situation where I am able to walk to most of my needs.  Coffee, book shops, liquor (haven't found wine yet), a delicious breakfast burrito which is necessary in my world and a few markets.  There is a brewery and multiple bars.  I am fortunate! 
Of course, at Maghan's apartment, I was a block away from an upscale market, wine shop, coffee and bars.  Bars that I didn't frequent as they were places he spent time.  I didn't want to impose myself on that part of his livelihood.  Overtaking his personal space seemed enough, haha.
My nightly routine involved the witch hazel and some creams that Jasmin just gave me.  She brought samples with her to Oregon.  I, graciously, chose to take them off of her hands.  I am still deciding how they are working for me.  It is a work in progress.
Next week brings enchantment and I see a return to the Sunflower State in sight.  I really want to visit Carol in the next two months.  Maybe see the beauty, Emma, too.  Til then I will continue with my routines.  Maybe return to writing more.

Last year I was in Las Vegas at this time.  Celebrating friendships and life.  Wine was involved, some pool time and a Cirque show.  Excellent trip really. 

This year my friend, Shana (fellow yogi in Santa Fe) invited me to join her at Ojo.  I would have loved to but didn't feel confident that I would be able to take the time off.  It seems easier to acquire time off around my days off instead of changing it up.  I want to have a consistent work week so I chose to skip this Ojo adventure knowing that I can head down in a few weeks to rejuvenate.  I am stoked.

Maybe I will manage a trip to Vegas in the fall.  I always love the food factor and it is a quick flight.  Who knows?  I have boundless opportunity to explore more of the states and I want to.  I am inspired to do something new.  Any suggestions?

Upcoming travel and desires

I have made some plans and am considering others.  I feel I should try to visit Carol in Kansas at some point soon. It's been over ten years since I have last seen her and she has always been supportive of me.  I met her when we moved to Kansas and my mom worked for her and her husband.  Later my sister worked for her and finally, I did.  I think I have known Carol since I was seven years old.
She is getting older as we all do.  Six months ago she chose to move into an assisted living facility.  She had been living on her own up until that point.  Lunching with ladies, walking around her neighborhood and drinking wine. I love that part of it.  It is good for her health and recommended by her doctor.  Of course, I celebrate and support that on a daily basis myself.
I believe I will attempt a road trip soon to go and see her.  Perhaps see the little beauty, Emma, too. I need to figure out how to make it happen and how much time I will need.  I saw everyone in my family two weeks ago and so if I chose to not explore more of Kansas, I think they would understand.
I will be heading to Santa Fe in a few weeks to celebrate friends birthdays, soak at Ojo and drink silver coin margaritas. I need to arrange where I can stay during that time and believe I can visit Melody or Teo.  I considered staying at a hotel but am more interested in creating experiences (translation drinking and dining) than having a posh place to stay.  Although posh places to stay invite other things that I enjoy, haha.
It feels right to be in Denver and creating my own niche.  Slowly, it seems, I am making progress.  I had some lessons to learn and some stuff to let go of.  Since I am now in my own space, I have made multiple trips to goodwill to release more of the things that have been with me at different addresses and cities.  Seems silly that I wanted to have them with me especially as they were boxed, unopened, unused.  Some of my artwork seems outdated, too.  I think I am finally ready to purchase a van gogh.  When I visited Amsterdam with Brian we stopped by the museum and I fell in love with some of his later pieces.  Of course, I love starry night and sunflowers.  But there are others, too, that are exquisite. 
I bought some sheets for me and my friend who I was staying with.  New sheets are always a nice gift, I believe.  It is my attempt to express my gratitude for my host's graciousness/generosity.  The least I can do, I feel.
I keep learning about what is important to me.  And how to make it my reality.  I am grateful that I have the opportunity to keep exploring.  I will continue to do so.

gratitude

Beautiful.  I love this bench and where it is located.  Matthew Winters Park in Denver.  I love knowing how many times I have visited to reconnect, reflect, rejoice.  I feel, at peace, there.  I should visit more often as it is extremely relaxing for me.

I am reminded, daily, of Brian and how he chose to live his life.  No regrets.  Always generous with his friends, work, and me.  Sometimes I get wrapped up in details and forget how wonderful my life is.  I have the freedom to travel, to meet friends and dine in some incredible restaurants.  I am fortunate to have many friends that support and encourage me.  I want to continue on this path.  I am thankful.