I went to 6 am yoga and began my day of thinking.
I walked to and from work and contemplated life, books, friendships, relationships, death, etc., the entire time.
My way to work, it was 30 degree and I was wearing shorts. I knew that it would warm up and be a beautiful day. It was. It reminded me of why I moved to Colorado. I love days like today.
On Saturday, my cousin, Jessi, brought me gifts...a book and a cd. I felt so blessed and fortunate to have her and her husband in my life. Not only do they visit me at the Bull, but they are considerate, too. And, she always has something interesting to say.
I hope to begin her book, soon. I finished, While I was Gone, this morning and have started, Drowning Ruth. I love reading and I go in waves. When I traveled, I was a nonstop reader. Even if they were terrible, I suffered through them. I bought a few, while traveling, but for the most part, I traded out at hostels. I find myself leaving books at hotels/bed and breakfasts to enable other travelers the opportunity to read. I guess it feels like a good deed to me.
Last night, I went to Elway's with Jimmy. I wanted a glass (or 3) of wine and a nice meal. He was still intoxicated, I think, from the day before. Nevertheless, everything was fine. He was a little annoying with his comments/hands friendly, but I have known him for some time and he knows that I am not interested in him outside of friendship or so I thought.
Last night, he got mad at me since I didn't want to continue to drink. I enjoy yoga and wanted to go to my 6 am class. So, he calls a cab and his idea is to chauffer me to my house and then take that cab back to the Bull which is foolish. I told him that I would take a different cab and he agreed. I don't know what happened, but suddenly, he threw down some money and took off. I think he was upset after the realization again, that I do not have feelings for him. Let me back up, he had mentioned earlier in the conversation that maybe he should be mean to me and maybe that way I would respond to him. It is absolutely ridiculous and offensive. I mean, I thought I had made it abundantly clear that we would only ever be friends. I do not understand why men and women cannot be friends. Why must there always be some level of attraction?
Further, why do some women get so involved with men that they lose sight of themselves and their identities? I have heard of a few instances, recently, where women throw themselves into these relationships, cut off their friends and then when everything goes to shit, they are alone. I feel that women need other women, not the bitchy-I-am-better-than-you-kind, but the genuine, I am here for you ladies. I know that I have survived many times because of my friends.
I am overanalyzing today. I was accused of not being a Virgo recently. Maybe not a full one, since I am a cusp kid, but I am always thinking. I know that it was said to push some buttons....well, enjoy the game. I hope it is a close one; otherwise, I will begin a marathon of Rescue Me...so glad the new season is tomorrow.
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