The other day I was talking to a friend about my fundraising and the fact that I had sent him a letter and an e-mail reminder.
His response was--I don't have any money to give.
I told him that anything helps--$5 or $10 goes a long way--especially after I have sent out 100 letters and numerous e-mails. Not to mention, I have written about it on the blog. I know, I am redundant with this. But, I want to raise money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society (LLS).
I know that I am not alone in this. I know that there are other non-profits that hope to sustain their cause and I know that the economy is not fantastic right now.
He understood it better when I told him anything helps. I do not expect everyone to be able to give me $50. Although, I will accept it:)
Seriously, I believe that you give because you want to and because you can. Brian's cousin, Kellen, is a girl scout. She sent me an e-mail and asked for me to purchase cookies or donate them if I wasn't interested. She made sense in her asking and explained that she wanted to receive an award of an elephant for her efforts. I wanted her to be successful and I donated my cookies to Tom and Shari. I appreciated her e-mailing me and the fact that it was important to her.
Today, some of my other friends surprised me with a very generous donation. I felt great knowing that (LLS) was benefitting from my friends and also that they supported me in this effort. It is important and a way to give back to the community and the universe. I am thankful in my life and grateful for the people that I encounter. I am happy for the opportunities that I am currently finding. Who knew that I would enjoy running this much? I think/believe, truly, that next year will be a full marathon. I hope to find more running partners and the ideal place to accomplish it. I know that I am getting ahead of myself, but I can dream, right?
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Hoping to travel....ASAP...
Bored.
Really bored.
I know that I could do laundry. I could tackle the thank you cards that I need to write. I could clean my house. I could make another to-do list. Options.
Reflective, yes, insightful, somewhat, wanting another trip--NOW.
I think I am restless and travel is always stimulating and fun. Even just heading to Kansas was amazing. It was nice to see old friends and meet new people. I enjoy traveling entirely too much.
I wish that I would have had more time to explore the restaurant scene. I ate at a cajun restaurant with my dad and Dori. It was good. I had blackened chicken with dirty rice. I couldn't decide between red beans and rice, jambalaya or the blackened chicken. I wanted to go to Kansas City, but we didn't have time. I want to check out Restaurant Thomas, again, or find some bbq. Ironically, I have never had much bbq in KC. I worked on the Plaza for 8 months, but didn't do much eating outside of the restaurant I worked at.
In Lawrence, I had dinner with my friend, Robert, at Genovese. It was new and I preferred somewhere within walking distance. We considered Teller's but I have never been a fan of the cuisine. I like the atmosphere, but felt the food lacked. Genovese was a nice addition to Mass Street.
Dinner with Carol on Friday was pleasant. I left after 3 hours, but could have stayed there, all night, catching up. She has always been a calming presence in my life.
I have a friend that is opening a restaurant in KC, across the street from the Bluebird Cafe. I hope to return to check it out. I knew Rick from Free State and one of his partners, was my landlord in Phoenix. It is a small world.
Nevertheless, tonight, I looked into heading to Portland to see my sisters, but the price is not right. I would love to see Emery, my new nephew and spend time with the rest of the family. Plus, there are wineries near there that I could check out.
Or, it is fairly cheap to fly to Salt Lake. I know that I could go running with Margo, drink wine, and catch up.
I always enjoy San Francisco and that is an option.
I wouldn't mind going somewhere new. I figure that I will go to Washington D.C. in the fall. My friends, Mark and Megan will live there, Cotten is near there and Mitch is there. I spent a few hours with Mitch on Friday and it was fun. We were up, super late, but I recognized that I could have talked all night. It was an insightful conversation.
I feel this reconnection year will continue. Plus, I hope to check out more restaurants in new cities. Any suggestions?
Really bored.
I know that I could do laundry. I could tackle the thank you cards that I need to write. I could clean my house. I could make another to-do list. Options.
Reflective, yes, insightful, somewhat, wanting another trip--NOW.
I think I am restless and travel is always stimulating and fun. Even just heading to Kansas was amazing. It was nice to see old friends and meet new people. I enjoy traveling entirely too much.
I wish that I would have had more time to explore the restaurant scene. I ate at a cajun restaurant with my dad and Dori. It was good. I had blackened chicken with dirty rice. I couldn't decide between red beans and rice, jambalaya or the blackened chicken. I wanted to go to Kansas City, but we didn't have time. I want to check out Restaurant Thomas, again, or find some bbq. Ironically, I have never had much bbq in KC. I worked on the Plaza for 8 months, but didn't do much eating outside of the restaurant I worked at.
In Lawrence, I had dinner with my friend, Robert, at Genovese. It was new and I preferred somewhere within walking distance. We considered Teller's but I have never been a fan of the cuisine. I like the atmosphere, but felt the food lacked. Genovese was a nice addition to Mass Street.
Dinner with Carol on Friday was pleasant. I left after 3 hours, but could have stayed there, all night, catching up. She has always been a calming presence in my life.
I have a friend that is opening a restaurant in KC, across the street from the Bluebird Cafe. I hope to return to check it out. I knew Rick from Free State and one of his partners, was my landlord in Phoenix. It is a small world.
Nevertheless, tonight, I looked into heading to Portland to see my sisters, but the price is not right. I would love to see Emery, my new nephew and spend time with the rest of the family. Plus, there are wineries near there that I could check out.
Or, it is fairly cheap to fly to Salt Lake. I know that I could go running with Margo, drink wine, and catch up.
I always enjoy San Francisco and that is an option.
I wouldn't mind going somewhere new. I figure that I will go to Washington D.C. in the fall. My friends, Mark and Megan will live there, Cotten is near there and Mitch is there. I spent a few hours with Mitch on Friday and it was fun. We were up, super late, but I recognized that I could have talked all night. It was an insightful conversation.
I feel this reconnection year will continue. Plus, I hope to check out more restaurants in new cities. Any suggestions?
I don't understand........
I returned to Denver to find the art festival behind my house. I was annoyed because someone was parked in my parking space and I remember how difficult it was to maneuver through this last year. I think it is a wonderful festival, but not run well since it conflicts with the neighborhood. I wish they had a better solution to picking up the artwork or at least, enabling me a way into my parking spot.
This guy that frequents the Bull and Bush, saw me pull up, yesterday and commented that I looked angry. I explained to him and his lady friend, that I was annoyed and this was why. I continued with the fact that I apologized to the guys that were parked in my spot for being so upset, but remembered last year's crap. I told them that it was a flashback and that I shouldn't have been that worked up about it. Funny, in hind sight, they weren't really listening to me, since the guy was justifying why they were parking in my spot. They needed to unload supplies and weren't given a spot. That was why they felt it okay to park in my spot.
Nevertheless, Michael, the bar regular listened to my story, as did his lady. I looked at her, and said, oh, hello, how are you and what would you like to drink? She said--I was just thinking about how last week, I was on the other end of verbal abuse over a parking and my brother died of cancer two years ago, and so why does that matter?
WHAT?
Did I ask for your opinion?
I wanted to ask Michael to tell his girlfriend, that I had experienced loss too, but didn't feel it necessary to justify why something shouldn't matter.
I am positive about many aspects of my life. I am thankful, too. However, I do get upset when people are rude or take my space--that I pay for and depend on--after driving 6 hours on 4 hours of sleep. Plus, I felt it absurd that this person that I don't even know is judging me because her brother died. Really? No one else has experienced loss, shame, love, happiness? Just you. WOw, it must be nice to live on her island.
Later, I still had to wait on her, but it was different. I was pleasant, but she didn't want to order from me.
This guy that frequents the Bull and Bush, saw me pull up, yesterday and commented that I looked angry. I explained to him and his lady friend, that I was annoyed and this was why. I continued with the fact that I apologized to the guys that were parked in my spot for being so upset, but remembered last year's crap. I told them that it was a flashback and that I shouldn't have been that worked up about it. Funny, in hind sight, they weren't really listening to me, since the guy was justifying why they were parking in my spot. They needed to unload supplies and weren't given a spot. That was why they felt it okay to park in my spot.
Nevertheless, Michael, the bar regular listened to my story, as did his lady. I looked at her, and said, oh, hello, how are you and what would you like to drink? She said--I was just thinking about how last week, I was on the other end of verbal abuse over a parking and my brother died of cancer two years ago, and so why does that matter?
WHAT?
Did I ask for your opinion?
I wanted to ask Michael to tell his girlfriend, that I had experienced loss too, but didn't feel it necessary to justify why something shouldn't matter.
I am positive about many aspects of my life. I am thankful, too. However, I do get upset when people are rude or take my space--that I pay for and depend on--after driving 6 hours on 4 hours of sleep. Plus, I felt it absurd that this person that I don't even know is judging me because her brother died. Really? No one else has experienced loss, shame, love, happiness? Just you. WOw, it must be nice to live on her island.
Later, I still had to wait on her, but it was different. I was pleasant, but she didn't want to order from me.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Back to reality
I am heading to work and there is a lot that I reflected on while driving back to Denver.
First and foremost, when I think of Lawrence, I think of going home. There is this amazing energy there, and I realize that that is where I became the person I am today. Or, I was able to embrace my identity there, build on it in Denver and continue to grow through traveling.
When I think of Salina, I cringe. I have no positive thoughts about school or high school. All I remember is rushing to get out. I couldn't wait to begin my life and definitely could not be there.
I wanted to go out of state for college, but knew that I couldn't afford it. I chose KU and it was a fantastic decision. I haven't been back since Michaela moved to Oregon. There were a few brief visits, with Brian, but never a way to truly appreciate it due to timing.
I walked into Free State on Wednesday and remembered it being home. The rest of my stay was filled with friends and beer. I had a fantastic time. Initially, my plan was to stay in Kansas City. I have a friend that I was looking forward to seeing, but his plans changed. I considered staying in Salina, but realized how foolish I was being. I knew there were restaurants that I could go to in Lawrence and of course, I wanted an oatmeal stout. I also knew that I was staying in Salina on Friday and so I wanted to limit it to one night. I have friends that live there and I knew they would offer to let me stay, but it was short notice and I didn't want to impose.
I spent last night in Salina and it was interesting. I saw the people that I wanted to see--Marideth, Jennifer, Marcee, Carol, Aron and Mitch. Mitch and I had been comunicating on facebook and so I wanted to meet up for at least one beer. Carol is my old boss and like a grandmother to me. I had dinner with her last night and it was enjoyable. I only wish that I had had more time to spend with her. It was important to me to meet up with these people and I was able to. I felt like I had little time and for that, I regret not being to manage it better.
I saw people that I hadn't seen in years and they hadn't changed. I approached a class mate of Jade's and said, hello, aren't you so and so? This girl looked at me and said--WHO ARE YOU?
I was taken aback and remembered how petty some people in Salina. I felt like I was back in high school and it was unpleasant. I am thankful for my time in Lawrence!
It's funny how some people change and others remain the exact same.....
First and foremost, when I think of Lawrence, I think of going home. There is this amazing energy there, and I realize that that is where I became the person I am today. Or, I was able to embrace my identity there, build on it in Denver and continue to grow through traveling.
When I think of Salina, I cringe. I have no positive thoughts about school or high school. All I remember is rushing to get out. I couldn't wait to begin my life and definitely could not be there.
I wanted to go out of state for college, but knew that I couldn't afford it. I chose KU and it was a fantastic decision. I haven't been back since Michaela moved to Oregon. There were a few brief visits, with Brian, but never a way to truly appreciate it due to timing.
I walked into Free State on Wednesday and remembered it being home. The rest of my stay was filled with friends and beer. I had a fantastic time. Initially, my plan was to stay in Kansas City. I have a friend that I was looking forward to seeing, but his plans changed. I considered staying in Salina, but realized how foolish I was being. I knew there were restaurants that I could go to in Lawrence and of course, I wanted an oatmeal stout. I also knew that I was staying in Salina on Friday and so I wanted to limit it to one night. I have friends that live there and I knew they would offer to let me stay, but it was short notice and I didn't want to impose.
I spent last night in Salina and it was interesting. I saw the people that I wanted to see--Marideth, Jennifer, Marcee, Carol, Aron and Mitch. Mitch and I had been comunicating on facebook and so I wanted to meet up for at least one beer. Carol is my old boss and like a grandmother to me. I had dinner with her last night and it was enjoyable. I only wish that I had had more time to spend with her. It was important to me to meet up with these people and I was able to. I felt like I had little time and for that, I regret not being to manage it better.
I saw people that I hadn't seen in years and they hadn't changed. I approached a class mate of Jade's and said, hello, aren't you so and so? This girl looked at me and said--WHO ARE YOU?
I was taken aback and remembered how petty some people in Salina. I felt like I was back in high school and it was unpleasant. I am thankful for my time in Lawrence!
It's funny how some people change and others remain the exact same.....
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
I lied.........
I lied.
I am computer literate....at least for tonight.
Lawrence is awesome.
Actually, Kansas is, too.
I think of all of my Brian associations.
I remember buying my volvo, how excited Brian was and driving it, illegally, across Kansas and Missouri.
I remember stopping at Carlos O'Kelly's for food.
I remember seeing an ex boyfriend in lawrence and Brian telling me that I deserved better. My response was--I am doing better now.
Funny how places evoke such memories.
Driving today was long and arduous.
Tomorrow will be about a hour drive and immediate acknowledgment.
I enjoy spending time with others, but sometimes, cannot deal with idiosyncracies. Similarly, I have an issue dealing with people that could be enriched by life, but choose not to be. I am extremely happy in my life. I do not find that I need to justify why I choose to do or not do certain things. I do not enjoy being mocked, especially, when I am being supportive. Honestly, if you are that unhappy with your life and the people that are in it, than go start an island and see how it goes is my opinion.
In a completely random area...I worked at Free State Brewery in Kansas. My last day there, in 99', an ex-employee, Ballu, stole my server check-out...basically, the equivalent of $400. The owner knew that I didn't take it, but he refused to press charges against Ballu. Instead, he told me that if I continued to work for him, I would be responsible for the damages.
I left.
I moved to Phoenix and didn't look back.
A month ago....Ballu died.
They don't know how or why, but karma is a bitch, right?
They all tried to remember my name and what I looked like. Magically, I showed up, today, in search of the perfect Oatmeal Stout.
Life is short. Be well. Enjoy it and others..........
I am computer literate....at least for tonight.
Lawrence is awesome.
Actually, Kansas is, too.
I think of all of my Brian associations.
I remember buying my volvo, how excited Brian was and driving it, illegally, across Kansas and Missouri.
I remember stopping at Carlos O'Kelly's for food.
I remember seeing an ex boyfriend in lawrence and Brian telling me that I deserved better. My response was--I am doing better now.
Funny how places evoke such memories.
Driving today was long and arduous.
Tomorrow will be about a hour drive and immediate acknowledgment.
I enjoy spending time with others, but sometimes, cannot deal with idiosyncracies. Similarly, I have an issue dealing with people that could be enriched by life, but choose not to be. I am extremely happy in my life. I do not find that I need to justify why I choose to do or not do certain things. I do not enjoy being mocked, especially, when I am being supportive. Honestly, if you are that unhappy with your life and the people that are in it, than go start an island and see how it goes is my opinion.
In a completely random area...I worked at Free State Brewery in Kansas. My last day there, in 99', an ex-employee, Ballu, stole my server check-out...basically, the equivalent of $400. The owner knew that I didn't take it, but he refused to press charges against Ballu. Instead, he told me that if I continued to work for him, I would be responsible for the damages.
I left.
I moved to Phoenix and didn't look back.
A month ago....Ballu died.
They don't know how or why, but karma is a bitch, right?
They all tried to remember my name and what I looked like. Magically, I showed up, today, in search of the perfect Oatmeal Stout.
Life is short. Be well. Enjoy it and others..........
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Hiatus
Road Trip #2 is calling me and I don't know when I will be computer literate again. I will miss this, though, but figure will have ample to write about on Sunday. I return on Saturday, but will be working that night. Come visit if you have time and desire. I am sure that my ipod will be dead by then, of course.
On a side note, I went to dinner with my aunt tonight at Pasquini's in Denver. There are 3 locations and we went to the newest addition. Beautiful building, trendy, upcoming area, super kid friendly and probably won't visit again. We were surrounded by children who were loud. I mean, super loud. I felt that I had sensory overload and any inkling of my biological clock went out the window. I know that they are children and I cannot blame them. However, where did parenting skills go? My parents said--you are going to the car if you continue to behave that way and I believed them. I knew they would put me in the car and not let me eat.
I felt like I was part of the audience on Romper Room or Nickelodeon. It was that loud and unruly.
I did like the building and felt it had possibility to be a great neighborhood location. I just don't think I can sit through another meal like that. It was uncomfortable.
It wasn't good, either. My aunt and I shared a bruschetta with sun-dried tomatoes, olives and pesto. I felt like pesto and so we shared this combo. I believe kalamata olives would have been ideal. We had olives accompanied by bread. The chevre salad was nice and tasty. Service could have been better, but I think our server was shell-shocked, too, by his section full of families.
Oatmeal Stout is calling me and I am ready.
BE well, enjoy the day and your next few nights.
On a side note, I went to dinner with my aunt tonight at Pasquini's in Denver. There are 3 locations and we went to the newest addition. Beautiful building, trendy, upcoming area, super kid friendly and probably won't visit again. We were surrounded by children who were loud. I mean, super loud. I felt that I had sensory overload and any inkling of my biological clock went out the window. I know that they are children and I cannot blame them. However, where did parenting skills go? My parents said--you are going to the car if you continue to behave that way and I believed them. I knew they would put me in the car and not let me eat.
I felt like I was part of the audience on Romper Room or Nickelodeon. It was that loud and unruly.
I did like the building and felt it had possibility to be a great neighborhood location. I just don't think I can sit through another meal like that. It was uncomfortable.
It wasn't good, either. My aunt and I shared a bruschetta with sun-dried tomatoes, olives and pesto. I felt like pesto and so we shared this combo. I believe kalamata olives would have been ideal. We had olives accompanied by bread. The chevre salad was nice and tasty. Service could have been better, but I think our server was shell-shocked, too, by his section full of families.
Oatmeal Stout is calling me and I am ready.
BE well, enjoy the day and your next few nights.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Intention Board, or as I like to call it, the Vision Board
Each year begins with possibility, opportunity for growth, change and achieving new goals.
I put together my vision board and looking back at it, it is filled with yoga, the prospect of running, food and travel. I suppose it is loaded with these prevalent items--mostly the travel related--since I picked through Travel magazines when putting it together. And, I enjoy traveling and feel that I work so that I can travel and not the other way around. Although, if I could travel to work, I think I would. I think it wouldn't be nearly as enjoyable.
A few months ago, I updated my board by creating a newer version of it. I was bored and wanted to see how my priorities had changed a few months into 2009. I incorporated more words, sayings and sunflowers to exemplify my traveling spirit. Funny, how when I think of sunflowers, I think of Brian and of Kansas. Brian loved sunflowers and brought them several times during our relationship. I grew up in Kansas and so that goes without saying that it is the Sunflower State. Driving across Kansas is awful for those of you who haven't experienced it. It is long, flat and there are stretches where there is nothing to see outside of the interstate. Actually, eastern Colorado is like this, too. I feel that once you get to Hays, you see the beginning of civilization and continue to Salina, where there are multiple truck stops and onward to Lawrence, the only liberal pocket of the State. I love Lawrence and am looking forward to an oatmeal stout at Free State Brewery.
I am off track. My second board has more words. I felt that I needed to be inspired to run and now I am. There was an advertisement in a magazine with the words could, might, will, should scratched out and ARE unscathed. That is how I feel about running now. I am.
I found sayings such as, the Art of Basic, or ways in which in to simplify life. I feel that it is important to enjoy life and a less complicated life. I want ways to accomplish that. I want to recycle and aid the preservation of the earth instead of continuing to destroy it with our wasteful ways.
I wanted ways to be present in the moment. I have a hammock that always calls me and reminds me of my time in Fiji.
Of course there is travel, food and wine. Wine is always in my life, too. I want to head back to California before 2010.
I figure 2009 is halfway done and I am about 50% done with my traveling for the year and the goals that I set out to accomplish. Life is fantastic and running brings me ample time to reflect on the moment and consider more goals.
Be well.
I put together my vision board and looking back at it, it is filled with yoga, the prospect of running, food and travel. I suppose it is loaded with these prevalent items--mostly the travel related--since I picked through Travel magazines when putting it together. And, I enjoy traveling and feel that I work so that I can travel and not the other way around. Although, if I could travel to work, I think I would. I think it wouldn't be nearly as enjoyable.
A few months ago, I updated my board by creating a newer version of it. I was bored and wanted to see how my priorities had changed a few months into 2009. I incorporated more words, sayings and sunflowers to exemplify my traveling spirit. Funny, how when I think of sunflowers, I think of Brian and of Kansas. Brian loved sunflowers and brought them several times during our relationship. I grew up in Kansas and so that goes without saying that it is the Sunflower State. Driving across Kansas is awful for those of you who haven't experienced it. It is long, flat and there are stretches where there is nothing to see outside of the interstate. Actually, eastern Colorado is like this, too. I feel that once you get to Hays, you see the beginning of civilization and continue to Salina, where there are multiple truck stops and onward to Lawrence, the only liberal pocket of the State. I love Lawrence and am looking forward to an oatmeal stout at Free State Brewery.
I am off track. My second board has more words. I felt that I needed to be inspired to run and now I am. There was an advertisement in a magazine with the words could, might, will, should scratched out and ARE unscathed. That is how I feel about running now. I am.
I found sayings such as, the Art of Basic, or ways in which in to simplify life. I feel that it is important to enjoy life and a less complicated life. I want ways to accomplish that. I want to recycle and aid the preservation of the earth instead of continuing to destroy it with our wasteful ways.
I wanted ways to be present in the moment. I have a hammock that always calls me and reminds me of my time in Fiji.
Of course there is travel, food and wine. Wine is always in my life, too. I want to head back to California before 2010.
I figure 2009 is halfway done and I am about 50% done with my traveling for the year and the goals that I set out to accomplish. Life is fantastic and running brings me ample time to reflect on the moment and consider more goals.
Be well.
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