I met Melody for dinner last night to celebrate her birthday. Squash blossoms with boursin cheese, lobster salad, scallops and a said of mashed potatoes. Delicioso! I felt spoiled by the greatness of the food.
I mentioned that I had taken my car to her referral and that although they did get me in quickly for an appointment, they let me drive off the lot not having reattached all of my hoses. I knew, immediately, that something was wrong with my car. Sure, can I fix it myself? No, but, from driving the Volvo for 9 years, I do recognize when something is off.
I hesitated to return to that particular shop as I feared they would jack it up more. Instead, I drove around for a week and waited until I could get into the Volvo dealership. I made an appointment and had them go over my car to see what needed to be done in a timely manner. I forgot to mention that my current landlord used to be a Volvo mechanic. He looked Veronica over before my appointment and saw the unattached hoses. My car returned to functional. I still wanted my car looked over. So, in the last week, I have spent $200 for a failed oil change. Had the original guys just done the oil change, perhaps, I wouldn't have had to spend that amount of money to ensure that my car was, in fact, driveable.
Melody felt bad and asked me if I had told the referral guys that. I had not. She mentioned doing it for me. At first, I said, sure, let them know. Then, I realized that it would be better coming from me and in the medium of a letter. I don't want to call them. But, I do want them to know that, potentially, I could have gotten stranded somewhere based on their negligence. I do understand they were trying to check my car over (thinking of future business, I would presume). However, they did not put it back together and it could have created more issues for me. I will write a note later today. Not hate mail or super negative but they should know what occurred on their watch. I take things more seriously with a letter too. If I wanted to do it half-assed, I would call or my favorite--yelp about it.
In other areas of frustration, I wanted a breakfast burrito after my yoga class. Probably not the healthiest option but I wanted it. I knew of a market where not only could I get a decent breakfast burrito, but a cup of coffee, too. Specifically, an americano. I found a burrito and joined the long line of people waiting for coffee or smoothies. One by one, people were serviced. 15 minutes later I got my turn to ask for an americano. I kept thinking--why don't they start an order and take another order? Surely, not everyone is in line for a smoothie?!?! I texted an ex-colleague of mine and made some comment about it being a universal standard of one company to have the coffee take forever. I don't get it. And, no, it is not the Santa Fe way. I think they call it manana time but in this case, I have experienced long lines of employees refusing to multi-task in multiple citites and states. It is laziness. I was too lazy to head to a drive thru and get my day started quicker.
Happy Friday. Make it a great one. I have dinner plans with Glen and Patty, again. I am excited to check out another fine establishment in SF~
Friday, May 30, 2014
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
more of my Monday
I thought about driving to the library (a little over a mile away) and then I thought better of it. I mean, I can walk a mile to return library books. Why risk driving that short of a distance to have my car stall out or something? I arranged to see the Volvo guy tomorrow, early, and I still had the chance to have my landlord look at the car, too.
So, I walked to the library, got new books and returned home. At that point, I had a little over an hour before yoga. I could take a bus and walk the remainder of the way. I headed out with my new library book, yoga mat and sunglasses. In hindsight, I should have applied more sunblock. I burned my shoulders and neck.
Yoga was fine. Class packed and the music was good. This instructor used to dance and so I think she understands the relevance of music in the yoga studio. Afterwards, I stopped by the local bank, had some enchiladas and a pedicure. I needed to have my feet feel pretty. It had been a couple weeks since my pedicure in Denver and my feet looked like a train wreck. I thought about trying to get a pedicure yesterday but the car thing stopped me.
Enchiladas were delicious and of course, I was wearing my yoga attire. I don't really care though. I went to a local spot that is frequented by locals and tourists alike. I stopped in after one and so I knew that the lunch hour would be on the decline. I have been trying to act like a tourist on my days off. That includes having a margarita or glass of wine.
I walked to the nearest bus stop and waited. It was hot and I didn't want to stand in the sun without shade. I kept walking and found another bus stop and jumped on. I like that the fares are cheap and that bus was clean. I made it home, showered and considered taking a siesta. My landlord had offered to look at my car and so I wanted to take him up on it. I did, however, want to delay when we would be doing it. The sun had worn me out. I didn't want to ask him to help me out though this evening. I really thought it was kind of him to even consider.
He looked at my car and noted, immediately, that the oil change guys had not connected everything back to its original place. He made a few adjustments and my car sounded normal. I knew that something was off. I will go to my appointment tomorrow morning and have them check out some of the hoses and establish a rapport with my new shop. I know that I will not be returning to the oil shop guys. They suck! They were more concerned about future business than the current state of my car. I took her in for an oil change. I drove off of the lot and knew that something was wrong. My car was not running well, at all. Sure I could have taken her back to have this reattach my hoses, belts, what have you, but I was fearful that they would mess more things up. I have no faith in their ability to fix or maintain my car. And, I have almost always, exclusively, taken Veronica to Volvo specific mechanics. I should stick with what I know.
I will make dinner, drink some wine and read some of my new books. It's summer and natural to embrace the world of books. I remember all of the summertime reading programs when I was a kid.
So, I walked to the library, got new books and returned home. At that point, I had a little over an hour before yoga. I could take a bus and walk the remainder of the way. I headed out with my new library book, yoga mat and sunglasses. In hindsight, I should have applied more sunblock. I burned my shoulders and neck.
Yoga was fine. Class packed and the music was good. This instructor used to dance and so I think she understands the relevance of music in the yoga studio. Afterwards, I stopped by the local bank, had some enchiladas and a pedicure. I needed to have my feet feel pretty. It had been a couple weeks since my pedicure in Denver and my feet looked like a train wreck. I thought about trying to get a pedicure yesterday but the car thing stopped me.
Enchiladas were delicious and of course, I was wearing my yoga attire. I don't really care though. I went to a local spot that is frequented by locals and tourists alike. I stopped in after one and so I knew that the lunch hour would be on the decline. I have been trying to act like a tourist on my days off. That includes having a margarita or glass of wine.
I walked to the nearest bus stop and waited. It was hot and I didn't want to stand in the sun without shade. I kept walking and found another bus stop and jumped on. I like that the fares are cheap and that bus was clean. I made it home, showered and considered taking a siesta. My landlord had offered to look at my car and so I wanted to take him up on it. I did, however, want to delay when we would be doing it. The sun had worn me out. I didn't want to ask him to help me out though this evening. I really thought it was kind of him to even consider.
He looked at my car and noted, immediately, that the oil change guys had not connected everything back to its original place. He made a few adjustments and my car sounded normal. I knew that something was off. I will go to my appointment tomorrow morning and have them check out some of the hoses and establish a rapport with my new shop. I know that I will not be returning to the oil shop guys. They suck! They were more concerned about future business than the current state of my car. I took her in for an oil change. I drove off of the lot and knew that something was wrong. My car was not running well, at all. Sure I could have taken her back to have this reattach my hoses, belts, what have you, but I was fearful that they would mess more things up. I have no faith in their ability to fix or maintain my car. And, I have almost always, exclusively, taken Veronica to Volvo specific mechanics. I should stick with what I know.
I will make dinner, drink some wine and read some of my new books. It's summer and natural to embrace the world of books. I remember all of the summertime reading programs when I was a kid.
Monday's events....
Yesterday I attended yoga, did laundry, drove to pick up some wine for this couple I was meeting for dinner. While attempting that errand, my car started to sound funny. Since I got the oil change, last Tuesday, my car has not been driving right. I am no mechanic but I do know my car. This shop handed me a laundry list of things that I could fix which I chose to ignore--air filter, wiper blades, a new windshield and others. I think in their attempt to earn more of my business, they jacked something up in my car. My car is an automatic but it seems to hesitate to shift into the next gear. Transmission fluid or something in that arena. I contacted the local Volvo dealership and had a name of a mechanic that seems reputable. In addition to that route, I contacted a guy in ABQ that had been referred by my guys in Phoenix. Then, I talked to my landlady--plumbing issues--and in the process of talking with her, found out, that her husband had been a volvo mechanic. WTH? She suggested that I talk to him before taking my car to anyone. She said that when I drove up, her husband, commented on my car. Out of respect. I felt validated.
I have not yet spoke to Matteus. That will be a focal point of today.
I walked to dinner. I considered taking the bus but it was out of service due to the holiday. I enjoy walking and so it wasn't an inconvenience. I met Glen and Patty for dinner at a lovely restaurant. We drank a bottle of Pinot Noir, ate duck fat fries, local lamb chops and a vegetarian napoleon. We drank brunello and a sauternes as well. Wonderful food, wine and conversation. There was an artist with us as well, Yenny. She was funny and added a comedic element to our night. She talked of being single, artwork, current dating strategies and her family. When I told them why I had chosen to walk to dinner (car related issues) she goes, oh, you have an Italian Volvo? That is a car.
I am hoping to get my car squared today and see some friends. I think I will pick up a shift this week. I do have another dinner date with Glen and Patty on Friday. It's nice to enjoy interesting conversation and food. They have great taste in places that they want to dine at, as well. I have a few days off, this week, and had considered a road trip. That is until they decided to make a mandatory meeting on Friday. Sort of jacked up any thought of roadtripping it to Phoenix for yoga, friends and wine. I know there will be other opportunities to road trip and soon.
I could get a much needed pedicure too. I found a place in Denver that was nice. Although my nails were smeared two days later. I should have taken the polish off, immediately. Instead I stare at my toes during yoga, daily, and think that I should get a pedicure. I need to go to the library, too. Car is the first task, then fun.
I have not yet spoke to Matteus. That will be a focal point of today.
I walked to dinner. I considered taking the bus but it was out of service due to the holiday. I enjoy walking and so it wasn't an inconvenience. I met Glen and Patty for dinner at a lovely restaurant. We drank a bottle of Pinot Noir, ate duck fat fries, local lamb chops and a vegetarian napoleon. We drank brunello and a sauternes as well. Wonderful food, wine and conversation. There was an artist with us as well, Yenny. She was funny and added a comedic element to our night. She talked of being single, artwork, current dating strategies and her family. When I told them why I had chosen to walk to dinner (car related issues) she goes, oh, you have an Italian Volvo? That is a car.
I am hoping to get my car squared today and see some friends. I think I will pick up a shift this week. I do have another dinner date with Glen and Patty on Friday. It's nice to enjoy interesting conversation and food. They have great taste in places that they want to dine at, as well. I have a few days off, this week, and had considered a road trip. That is until they decided to make a mandatory meeting on Friday. Sort of jacked up any thought of roadtripping it to Phoenix for yoga, friends and wine. I know there will be other opportunities to road trip and soon.
I could get a much needed pedicure too. I found a place in Denver that was nice. Although my nails were smeared two days later. I should have taken the polish off, immediately. Instead I stare at my toes during yoga, daily, and think that I should get a pedicure. I need to go to the library, too. Car is the first task, then fun.
Sunday, May 25, 2014
Work, staples and memories
More rain and a hope that I would be able to get out of working last night. I had agreed to help them out by working on the side patio. My boss wanted me to cocktail and help with some of the overflow. The downpour offered me the opportunity to not work.
I tried to call in but, of course, since it is me, it didn't work. There are some people who frequently are able to get out of working. I am thankful for working and know that I benefit from it. Money that I am not spending on dining out myself. There is always that.
Next week, I have a few days off in a row but there is a meeting that I am supposed to attend. Otherwise, I would head to Phoenix. I am ready for a visit. And, I would like to see my friends and attend a few yoga classes. I so miss the yoga community in Phoenix.
Today, I am skipping yoga. I am enjoying my job but I don't eat while there. There is never an opportunity to eat unless I sneak in a protein bar. Inconveniently, last night, I forgot my protein bar. I worked from 4-11:30 and had a couple glasses of wine. I am starving when I get home to find smoked almonds and tomatoes. I had forgotten to restock my chip addiction. Typically, I live on chips, salsa, avocados, coffee and wine. Of course, I have a few other staples. I just haven't taken the time to adequately stock my fridge. Maybe I could do that on my next day off. I am going to have to stock my fridge and protein bars.
I found an awesome little thrift shop, finally. I was starting to mini-freak out as I now have a like of shopping. Thrift store specifically. I have never been a big shopper. I spend my hard earned cash on travel, wine and food. Not necessarily in that order. As of late, I think food and dining are equal and travel is lagging behind. I will remedy that in the next few months. There is a wine festival in ABQ, upcoming, a half marathon in Napa and a family reunion in August. I am undecided on that one. Spend a weekend in Iowa with many people that I have not seen in 20+ years or go somewhere else. Maybe Oregon to meet my new nephew or Seattle to see Jean. I found some photos from our summer in Mexico--98. She hasn't aged at all and still remains one of the funnest people to spend time with. I swear, we go into a restaurant that we know no one and within fifteen minutes we know everyone. She is the ultimate extrovert and fun.
Last year, she visited me in Phoenix. It was brief since Shari and I had been in Denver celebrating Brian's life while Jean and her friend, Kevin, spent time in Phoenix. We met for a hike and drinks. Glorious day.
I should consider upcoming travel as it keeps me grounded and in the present. The opportunity to explore other cities inspires me beyond words.
So there is that desire to travel. Wine will remain a staple and now that I am in Santa Fe, there are oodles of restaurants to check out. I have sampled several on previous visits but there are still a plethora of options. I must start cracking.
Happy Sunday!
I tried to call in but, of course, since it is me, it didn't work. There are some people who frequently are able to get out of working. I am thankful for working and know that I benefit from it. Money that I am not spending on dining out myself. There is always that.
Next week, I have a few days off in a row but there is a meeting that I am supposed to attend. Otherwise, I would head to Phoenix. I am ready for a visit. And, I would like to see my friends and attend a few yoga classes. I so miss the yoga community in Phoenix.
Today, I am skipping yoga. I am enjoying my job but I don't eat while there. There is never an opportunity to eat unless I sneak in a protein bar. Inconveniently, last night, I forgot my protein bar. I worked from 4-11:30 and had a couple glasses of wine. I am starving when I get home to find smoked almonds and tomatoes. I had forgotten to restock my chip addiction. Typically, I live on chips, salsa, avocados, coffee and wine. Of course, I have a few other staples. I just haven't taken the time to adequately stock my fridge. Maybe I could do that on my next day off. I am going to have to stock my fridge and protein bars.
I found an awesome little thrift shop, finally. I was starting to mini-freak out as I now have a like of shopping. Thrift store specifically. I have never been a big shopper. I spend my hard earned cash on travel, wine and food. Not necessarily in that order. As of late, I think food and dining are equal and travel is lagging behind. I will remedy that in the next few months. There is a wine festival in ABQ, upcoming, a half marathon in Napa and a family reunion in August. I am undecided on that one. Spend a weekend in Iowa with many people that I have not seen in 20+ years or go somewhere else. Maybe Oregon to meet my new nephew or Seattle to see Jean. I found some photos from our summer in Mexico--98. She hasn't aged at all and still remains one of the funnest people to spend time with. I swear, we go into a restaurant that we know no one and within fifteen minutes we know everyone. She is the ultimate extrovert and fun.
Last year, she visited me in Phoenix. It was brief since Shari and I had been in Denver celebrating Brian's life while Jean and her friend, Kevin, spent time in Phoenix. We met for a hike and drinks. Glorious day.
I should consider upcoming travel as it keeps me grounded and in the present. The opportunity to explore other cities inspires me beyond words.
So there is that desire to travel. Wine will remain a staple and now that I am in Santa Fe, there are oodles of restaurants to check out. I have sampled several on previous visits but there are still a plethora of options. I must start cracking.
Happy Sunday!
Friday, May 23, 2014
Today, I woke up in time to attend the 7:45 yoga class. Since it's Friday, it was my belief that my current favorite instructor would be changing the music selection up. A few weeks ago, I mentioned that I would be heading to Denver and looking for a different studio from the one that I used to attend. Mira recommended one that one of her fellow instructors taught at. I asked Mira about the music and explained how I had relocated from Phoenix and that I missed the community there, mostly, because of the music selection and challenging flow sequences. Moving to Santa Fe had been an adaptation. As noted in previous posts, I have been frustrated with the scene here. Some of the classes are challenging and good. The music selection has rarely improved. She agreed with me and said that there was this one instructor at the studio in Denver that played rap. I was immediately in love. I like the rhythm of rap music and appreciate when instructors construct their flow based on the music.
So, today, I arrived hopeful. It was Friday and Mira had mentioned that she liked to play more upbeat music on Fridays. There were several people in attendance and I wanted a great class. We began in meditation and then she started the music.
Crap....more of that yoga induced put me to sleep music. I liked the direction of her flow but the music was making me crazy. I almost had to leave because my mind was overwhelmed with how bad it was. Afterwards, I compliment her on the sequence and request that she change the music. I couldn't help myself and I figure if I don't say anything she won't know. I feel confident that I am not the only person that feels this way on that point, too.
I ran into my yoga instructor from yesterday. They had the celebration at the restaurant and I work at. Ironically, her brother had worked at the restaurant for 7 years and every customer that sits at the bar mentions him. Mentions how great he was, how tall he is and how I don't look like him. I guess that is something. His sister taught the class I attended yesterday. I wasn't in love with the class as she wanted me to have blocks, blankets and bolsters. However, I did appreciate that she stretched my lower back, arm pits and triceps. I still feel the burn of one of the postures. And, I loved how she concluded the class. With a quote from Abraham Lincoln and an apparent love of her father. It was very meaningful and a reminder to live in the present for me. I approached her last night and told her that, too.
Today is my day off and I am conflicted about how to spend it. It looks like it might rain which would be good for the city. I wanted to walk to Canyon Road or around the plaza. I want to enjoy being outside. I find myself being a little lazy. I realize that my job is limiting my ability to eat dinner at a normal time. There isn't an opportunity to eat before 11 pm. I return home to no food since I haven't stocked my kitchen adequately. I need to rectify this. I wake up, lethargic and lazy.
I want to feel like a tourist today in my new city. I think that is how I will spend the day.....
So, today, I arrived hopeful. It was Friday and Mira had mentioned that she liked to play more upbeat music on Fridays. There were several people in attendance and I wanted a great class. We began in meditation and then she started the music.
Crap....more of that yoga induced put me to sleep music. I liked the direction of her flow but the music was making me crazy. I almost had to leave because my mind was overwhelmed with how bad it was. Afterwards, I compliment her on the sequence and request that she change the music. I couldn't help myself and I figure if I don't say anything she won't know. I feel confident that I am not the only person that feels this way on that point, too.
I ran into my yoga instructor from yesterday. They had the celebration at the restaurant and I work at. Ironically, her brother had worked at the restaurant for 7 years and every customer that sits at the bar mentions him. Mentions how great he was, how tall he is and how I don't look like him. I guess that is something. His sister taught the class I attended yesterday. I wasn't in love with the class as she wanted me to have blocks, blankets and bolsters. However, I did appreciate that she stretched my lower back, arm pits and triceps. I still feel the burn of one of the postures. And, I loved how she concluded the class. With a quote from Abraham Lincoln and an apparent love of her father. It was very meaningful and a reminder to live in the present for me. I approached her last night and told her that, too.
Today is my day off and I am conflicted about how to spend it. It looks like it might rain which would be good for the city. I wanted to walk to Canyon Road or around the plaza. I want to enjoy being outside. I find myself being a little lazy. I realize that my job is limiting my ability to eat dinner at a normal time. There isn't an opportunity to eat before 11 pm. I return home to no food since I haven't stocked my kitchen adequately. I need to rectify this. I wake up, lethargic and lazy.
I want to feel like a tourist today in my new city. I think that is how I will spend the day.....
Thursday, May 22, 2014
yoga thought of the day
Yoga continues to frustrate and annoy me. I met an Ambassador the other night who leads running and other fitness oriented classes for a yoga based company. She, however, does not lead yoga. She understood my frustrations with the yoga scene in Santa Fe. It's either vinyasa with terrible music. They advertise that the music is upbeat, rock, folk or electronica. Instead, I have heard chimes, yoga based music or completely lame music. I know it is counterproductive in a yoga class to be so interested in the music. It is about the zen experience and physicality of it. However, for me, when the music is awful, my mind wanders into other places--work, boredom, why am I here, etc? And then I get annoyed. I do like a few of the instructors and I tolerate their music selection. It's funny how this one instructor, in particular, loves half splits and temple. We do those postures repeatedly in every class. I am bored by his sequence, too. I have managed to find other classes to occupy my time.
Or, there is a studio that does not offer music with flow classes. Instead they have level II, level III, all levels, vinyasa are a few examples of available classes. I have attended three classes with three different instructors and their yoga reminds me of being in my house doing a DVD. It's boring and there are no chatarangas involved. It's all--downward dog, walk feet forward, stand up and next move. Triangle. Oh, and I forgot. They use props--two blankets, blocks, straps and other cushions. I despise using props mostly because when the class is over, I want to leave. I don't want to have to put the crap back. It's annoying to use all of these props to "maybe" aid the class. Today, I arrived late and the instructor advised me to pick up two blocks, two blankets, a bolster and a strap....what? Why?
I asked her if I needed all of it. She goes, well, yes, I think you do.
I knew at that point it would be another lame class for me. I know there are people that appreciate this type of yoga. I did stretch out my back, my legs, armpits. I prefer a flow class with music, chatarangas and balancing postures. Standing around or using props is not what I consider yoga.
The end of the class was more spiritual. The instructor's father passed away 6 months ago. They are having his memorial today and she closed with a quote. It was wonderful and made me change my thought about her. Perhaps I will try to attend another one of her classes. I have a few additional passes to use in a 5 class pack. Outside of that I will have to keep looking for the ideal spot for me or get certified. Maybe then I would have more of an appreciation for the yoga featured here. I miss the community in Phoenix.
Tomorrow I will hike. I am ready to check out the outdoors here. Everyday, I walk outside and am thankful to be here. It is gorgeous.
Or, there is a studio that does not offer music with flow classes. Instead they have level II, level III, all levels, vinyasa are a few examples of available classes. I have attended three classes with three different instructors and their yoga reminds me of being in my house doing a DVD. It's boring and there are no chatarangas involved. It's all--downward dog, walk feet forward, stand up and next move. Triangle. Oh, and I forgot. They use props--two blankets, blocks, straps and other cushions. I despise using props mostly because when the class is over, I want to leave. I don't want to have to put the crap back. It's annoying to use all of these props to "maybe" aid the class. Today, I arrived late and the instructor advised me to pick up two blocks, two blankets, a bolster and a strap....what? Why?
I asked her if I needed all of it. She goes, well, yes, I think you do.
I knew at that point it would be another lame class for me. I know there are people that appreciate this type of yoga. I did stretch out my back, my legs, armpits. I prefer a flow class with music, chatarangas and balancing postures. Standing around or using props is not what I consider yoga.
The end of the class was more spiritual. The instructor's father passed away 6 months ago. They are having his memorial today and she closed with a quote. It was wonderful and made me change my thought about her. Perhaps I will try to attend another one of her classes. I have a few additional passes to use in a 5 class pack. Outside of that I will have to keep looking for the ideal spot for me or get certified. Maybe then I would have more of an appreciation for the yoga featured here. I miss the community in Phoenix.
Tomorrow I will hike. I am ready to check out the outdoors here. Everyday, I walk outside and am thankful to be here. It is gorgeous.
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
Boundaries and beliefs
It's funny how a situation represents so many different variables to different people. Recently there was a situation that I found offensive as a woman. The men that were involved found it funny as the guy that acted like a 13 yr-old, apparently, acts in this manner quite often. They laughed out of wow, I can't believe he is doing this now.
He thought it would be funny to put a menu on the floor which would make this woman bend over to pick it up. Of course, she is wearing a skirt and just the whole situation is gross and adolescent. This other girl saw the situation unfold and she was angry. Instead of approaching management, she wanted to handle it directly. I respect that she opted this route. She gave this guy the opportunity to be accountable with his actions without involving management or the rest of the staff. When approached about his behavior, he shut down. His back stiffened and he became defensive. He could not contemplate how his behavior was inappropriate or offensive. He went home feeling that this girl was wrong. He did not understand how it could be construed as harassment. Since he didn't touch the woman or say anything, he thought it was an innocent joke.
Since then it's been discussed by others who worked that night as well as people that work with me. Nobody wants to make a big deal out of it and the belief is that we all have played a part in creating this situation. Men and women have both made inappropriate comments, suggestions, jokes. Which is probably true. That night, I repeated several jokes that I had been told from my party. I waited on a wedding party of a gay partnership. It was all men and one woman in attendance. This group was celebratory, joyful and started telling super inappropriate jokes which I found funny. I retold a few of them or tried too. My timing is always off which mangles the punchline.
At any rate, I am new to the environment and oblivious in general. I try to be professional and stay out of any of the drama.
In all honesty, the situation could be resolved with an apology. The different meanings could be overlooked and everyone could move on with an apology, I know. However, I don't know if this guy is adult enough to own up to his actions. The emotion needs to be taken out of it before it is brought to management. The girl that saw the behavior and called the guy out is still pretty fired up about the situation. They argued over past indiscretions and some other things were brought up which were not the point. The point is to address what happened on that one occasion and own up to it. That way, I believe, we can move on.
I don't want to sit through a seminar on sexual harassment. I worked at another establishment that had a situation that mandated a seminar every 6 months for a three year period to ensure that it would not happen again. Those videos were outdated and horrible.
I think that if everyone could take a step back and address the one occurrence of jackass behavior it would improve. Sometimes people say or do things without realizing how it is construed. In this situation, I think the guy made a poor choice (something that he found funny) and didn't think about how it would effect others.
On a more basic level, I think of how sometimes, I see people's reactions to what I say (tone, inflection, transparent look) and realize that although I had meant to say it without emotion, my thoughts came screaming through based on how I looked while delivering the statement. I am very transparent apparently. Based on that, I have to retreat and explain that I did not intend for it to be taken so literally. Sometimes I don't see the look of confusion on people's faces. It happens where you don't know how people take innocent statements, or statements that seem innocent to you, until it is too late. I feel the best remedy is to address right then and there. I call it being a human being instead of cowardly writing an anonymous review on a website that will remain unnamed. On a related topic, one of my friends that owns a restaurant mentioned starting a blog or website where servers/bartenders could blog about customers and how some are completely inappropriate and entitled they are. Naming them, their habits, behaviors as this website allows reviews for restaurants. I am all for it! There are always two + sides to the story. It is all about perspective, beliefs and truths.
Anyways, I am hopeful that an apology will occur and that the adolescent behavior will stop. I don't think the guy was trying to be malicious. I just think he is a child and naturally he thought it would be funny to do this joke in front of the guys.
He thought it would be funny to put a menu on the floor which would make this woman bend over to pick it up. Of course, she is wearing a skirt and just the whole situation is gross and adolescent. This other girl saw the situation unfold and she was angry. Instead of approaching management, she wanted to handle it directly. I respect that she opted this route. She gave this guy the opportunity to be accountable with his actions without involving management or the rest of the staff. When approached about his behavior, he shut down. His back stiffened and he became defensive. He could not contemplate how his behavior was inappropriate or offensive. He went home feeling that this girl was wrong. He did not understand how it could be construed as harassment. Since he didn't touch the woman or say anything, he thought it was an innocent joke.
Since then it's been discussed by others who worked that night as well as people that work with me. Nobody wants to make a big deal out of it and the belief is that we all have played a part in creating this situation. Men and women have both made inappropriate comments, suggestions, jokes. Which is probably true. That night, I repeated several jokes that I had been told from my party. I waited on a wedding party of a gay partnership. It was all men and one woman in attendance. This group was celebratory, joyful and started telling super inappropriate jokes which I found funny. I retold a few of them or tried too. My timing is always off which mangles the punchline.
At any rate, I am new to the environment and oblivious in general. I try to be professional and stay out of any of the drama.
In all honesty, the situation could be resolved with an apology. The different meanings could be overlooked and everyone could move on with an apology, I know. However, I don't know if this guy is adult enough to own up to his actions. The emotion needs to be taken out of it before it is brought to management. The girl that saw the behavior and called the guy out is still pretty fired up about the situation. They argued over past indiscretions and some other things were brought up which were not the point. The point is to address what happened on that one occasion and own up to it. That way, I believe, we can move on.
I don't want to sit through a seminar on sexual harassment. I worked at another establishment that had a situation that mandated a seminar every 6 months for a three year period to ensure that it would not happen again. Those videos were outdated and horrible.
I think that if everyone could take a step back and address the one occurrence of jackass behavior it would improve. Sometimes people say or do things without realizing how it is construed. In this situation, I think the guy made a poor choice (something that he found funny) and didn't think about how it would effect others.
On a more basic level, I think of how sometimes, I see people's reactions to what I say (tone, inflection, transparent look) and realize that although I had meant to say it without emotion, my thoughts came screaming through based on how I looked while delivering the statement. I am very transparent apparently. Based on that, I have to retreat and explain that I did not intend for it to be taken so literally. Sometimes I don't see the look of confusion on people's faces. It happens where you don't know how people take innocent statements, or statements that seem innocent to you, until it is too late. I feel the best remedy is to address right then and there. I call it being a human being instead of cowardly writing an anonymous review on a website that will remain unnamed. On a related topic, one of my friends that owns a restaurant mentioned starting a blog or website where servers/bartenders could blog about customers and how some are completely inappropriate and entitled they are. Naming them, their habits, behaviors as this website allows reviews for restaurants. I am all for it! There are always two + sides to the story. It is all about perspective, beliefs and truths.
Anyways, I am hopeful that an apology will occur and that the adolescent behavior will stop. I don't think the guy was trying to be malicious. I just think he is a child and naturally he thought it would be funny to do this joke in front of the guys.
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