Early morning thoughts.....

Tuesday morning=Rain. More rain, and a perfect day for running. Or, so I told myself when I began.
Honestly, I enjoyed the light down pour and how pure it felt outside. I dropped my phone (typical) and realized that I shouldn't be running with so many gadgets. Ipod--check. Phone--check. Keys--have to have...but probably not both the ipod and the phone. Next time, I will make adjustments so that I limit my distractions.
Yesterday, I reached out to someone that had lost a child. I didn't know Alecia well, in school, but I worked with her sister during college. I had heard about their loss. I felt awful, but didn't know if I should contact her or not. I mean, our losses are different. I had 3 1/2 wonderful years with Brian and we created a lifetime of memories. Alecia had 18 months were her daughter and I don't know what to say to ease some of her pain. How do you explain the loss of a child that young? How do you move beyond it? I mean, it isn't like hearing--you can have other children is soothing or true. It doesn't help. It's insensitive.
I think I am reaching out since I had unexpected people reach out to me. I relied on some of them, heavily, and to this day, I don't know if they are aware of how much it helped me to have someone listen, not judge, not tell me how I should feel or what I should be doing, but just listen. I want to be available to her and others if they need it. Listening, not judging or offering ways to get through it.
There is no right or wrong to grief, except that you must go through it. Running from it, just prolongs it, as I found out.
I was lucky. I didn't have to rely on pills or other substances. I had a wonderful support network, still do, and without them, I don't know where I would be today. All I know is that I am not broken, just different. I miss Brian, everyday, and the life I had with him. I do know that he is with me, and he is happy. He helps me find a way to live life, everyday, be it traveling, laughing or eating--I do a lot of that!
So, I will enjoy the rain--the pureness of it. I will reach out, again, to Alecia and continue to find my way. I hope that she is able to breathe and find peace. I remember the early nights, where I couldn't sleep. I was numb and functioned.
Loss is loss.