positive thinking

I woke up today, with the intention of running.
I told myself, last night, that yes, I will get up at 5:15, stretch and run for a half hour.
The alarm went off. I hit the snooze button. I thought, I would sleep for 10-15 more minutes. At 6:05, I woke up and thought--crap, I missed my window. Well, I could go later, but I am meeting Megan for wine. And, I don't want to run when it is 90 degrees. Maybe I could go tomorrow.
I thought of several more excuses to prolong the inevitable.
Eventually, I got up and made myself go. I want to make changes. I want to be accountable for running. I don't want to put it off til tomorrow.
I went and it felt great. I think I could of continued, but once I reached my marker, my mind decided that I was done. It made me realize that I can do anything as long as I think I can do it. I have put off running, for years, because I have convinced myself that I hate it. I don't. I am just umotivated to do it.
In junior high, I ran track. I was a sprinter and didn't really like the longer runs. My coach, Mr. Bell, made us run the 400 meter to determine who would be competing in that event. Stupid me, I ran. I wanted to finish the race. I won. I was the first to cross the line. From that point on, I always had to run the 400 meter and I hated it. I hated the fact that I would race out and then tire, midway, knowing that I would have to finish and watch others pass me since they paced it better. I have always preferred the sprints.
They say to visualize running to make it happen. I don't know it if it will work for me, but I might try it. I am still trying to decide if I should run without an ipod or with it. I know that without the ipod, I could ponder life, food, the fact that I hate running. With the ipod, I can lose myself in music. I need more variety and rap for motivation--I think. I need suggestions and positive reinforcement.
All I can say, is that for today, I did what I set out today. The rest-work, yoga and wine---is all a bonus of a wonderful day.
Be well.