Anxiety....

I think as I get closer to the marathon, I am overwhelmed by how little time I have left.
I have 48 days.
I am scared.
I am nervous.
I am excited.
I feel that I can/will/am going to be able to do it.
I have to tell myself this to get through the training. I am committed to this goal. I keep talking about it, in a way, forcing myself to really do it. I mean, at this point, I would be completely foolish to back out. I raised the money, I have training friends/partners and I enjoy running.
Yet, there is this voice that tells me--You are tired. You haven't trained enough. You could hurt yourself.
I read Morgan's post this morning---Caution Redhead Running--and was relieved to see that other people experience doubt too. Morgan is a Run-Runner in my book. She just completed 22 miles last weekend which is amazing. I am not at that point in my training. I vacation too often.
But, I know that I will do this. Yes, there are physical aches/pains associated with a marathon. But, it's almost more mental for me. I need to shut off that voice that tells me--STOP, YOU WILL FEEL BETTER.
No, it's not there all of the time either. I have great runs. I enjoy running. But, there are days where I wonder if I will get through it.
I will.
Last night, I messaged back and forth with a friend about upcoming events. KNowing this propels my desire to run the Denver Marathon. It isn't idle chatter...it is the real thing.
Have a wonderful day. I have an afternoon run to look forward to since my morning run was interrupted by doubt...