It is difficult to not think about the future--the what if factor.
Lately, I have been privy to three separate situations, where the individual is in an impossible situation. They want advice or direction, but really, I recognize that in no way, is that my place in the friendship.
For instance, I don't know how I would react to the specific situation since I haven't went through it yet.
I tried to explain this to my friend. I hope she understands. I am not trying to be unsupportive. I just know that from an outside perspective, of course, it would be easy for me to say--this is what you should be doing.
I suggested to her that being in the present moment and making peace with the circumstances was the first step. From there she needed to decide what course of action was best for her.
I know it is frustrating, but that is all I can do. I would hate for her to listen to my speculating when each situation is unique and again, I don't know how I would react if I had to face it. I reiterated that she is loved and supported and that, yes, she would get through this.
My other friend is facing a custody battle which I do not envy. He tried to be amicable, for the sake of his kids, but this led to inaction and the opportunity for his ex to walk all over him. She has continued to do things, to him, because he let her. I feel bad for him and do not envy his road. But, he'll make it work and he will get through this.
I know that I asked for a project, but I don't think I wanted this one. I feel that I need to be specific in my wants and hopes of the future. I will continue to run, but since I am not training for the marathon, any longer, I have more time to focus on other projects. Any suggestions?
We all have decisions to make, some easier than others. That is what defines our character. We forget that we have the power to protect ourselves and that by not doing something, that, too, is an action--i.e--my friend and his pending custody battle.
Thankfully, I have a wonderful loving family and support system. I hope to be there for my friends/family to listen, support and not judge or suggest courses of action. I cannot. It is similar to bashing someone's ex boyfriend or husband in the midst of their break-up, and then finding out they opted to stay together. How do you take back your words of wisdom? How does that person ever feel safe, confiding in you again, when you think their spouse is a moron?
Each situation is unique. We can only hope for the best and the understanding of our peers and family.
Be happy today and in the present moment. For me, I need to get outside and enjoy the sunshine.
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