I am navigating this new stage of life for me. Somewhere between perimenopause and hanging out to the normalcy of being a woman. Translation, I am still experiencing my period regularly. It varies a little and I am experiencing some of the side effects of the joyful change. Night sweats, gluteal tendinopathy, some stubborn cortisol build up. (Sexy things to consider, I know. It is only where I am at in my life currently). Trying to figure out the best way to maneuver this is challenging. Some friends have relied on birth control, hormone replacement therapy, other medications, supplements, creams. There is no defined course of action as not only is it not researched that much, people do not talk about it. It is an awkward topic, yet it affects all women at some point.
Knowing that, I was surprised when I met a nurse practitioner the other day. She was confident and loved what she does. Truly, I love that for her. I love that she is passionate about helping people on the journey of womanhood and menopause. She wanted to be helpful to me, but was dismissive when I told her I have been using a yam cream to counter the night sweats. It is a topical cream that has been a game changer for me. Definitely decreased the night sweats that had been waking me up nightly. She sort of scoffed when I mentioned what I had been doing. Immediately she suggested using a low dose birth control. Even suggested a brand and that I could take it for a few years and then switch to a hormone replacement therapy.
My takeaway was that it was unsolicited advice. And that she didn't value treatments that did not include hormones or pills. Not everyone responds to birth control. It doesn't decrease some of the symptoms and makes life more difficult. I realized that I should do what speaks to me. In most things, I should do what makes sense to me. I have never followed the "right way" to be successful. I will not start now.
There is trial and error with this process. I am reading more about it and trying to come to terms with where I am at. I think, for some women, it feels like you are being put out to pasture since you are no longer valued. Others, it is an awakening. A time to focus on your needs and say no to what doesn't speak to you any longer. I keep seeing stories on Threads about break up, divorce, loneliness (supposed/projected). But is it lonely to be alone?
I have friends with kids. I have friends, like me, who chose not to have kids. My friends with kids love their kids. Some have a solid balance of being a good parent raising human beings while retaining their own identity. In most of those cases, they have good co-parents or new partners who also understand the importance of raising human beings, providing boundaries and love. One of my yoga clients attended a recent session. Her husband had taken the kids on a day trip and she was like--I have no idea what to do today. It is liberating to not have concrete plans. Maybe I will go to the farmer's market? Or go home and read on my couch. She seemed a little unprepared to do whatever she wanted.
I, however, do not have that issue. I love knowing that if I want to drive to Santa Fe to visit Tom, I can. If I want to check out a new restaurant by myself, I can, at any time. I am not thinking of someone else's wants, needs or schedule. I am not lonely. I think there are other women who are discovering that freedom. Choosing what they want instead of what the other people in their lives need. Instead of putting themselves last, they are able to do what they want.
Only something I am pondering on a Sunday afternoon. Trying to stay cooler. It has been hot the last month. My morning walks have been consistent and mandatory in the a.m. Otherwise the heat is a deterrent and distraction.
Here is to a chill afternoon, reflection and peppermint hot tea~
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