thoughts...

A new year. A new opportunity.
I am glad that I returned to Denver, but since March I have regressed to pre-trip last year. I enjoy my job, but do not like the drama of it or the politics. I know you would think that there would only be drama at the bar job, but it has both. I enjoy the flexibility of my life, but feel there is more out there for me to achieve or address in life.
I walked downtown the other day and it reminded me of how free/liberated I felt when I was traveling. I didn't have any set place to be. I could ponder life, relationships, books, anything. It was amazing. And, I met interesting people and had multiple possibilities to extend my traveling or return to certain countries to explore more. I felt free.
Now, there is always somewhere that I have to be. I feel more accountable in the States, though. I make mistakes and I try to fix them or learn from them. It is all about adaptation.
Tonight, I am having dinner with Cesar, Dave, Jimmy and Tiffany. We are going to a restaurant in Boulder to celebrate my birthday. Last year, we went to the Palm and I told them my news of traveling. I have no grand announcement this year, but I do enjoy dining with this group of people. It is exactly the way I would want to celebrate my birthday.
The wedding was beautiful and I enjoyed attending. I drank too much red wine which seems to go hand in hand with my etiquette when it comes to weddings. The reception was at the same place we had Brian's celebration of life. That was difficult and made more so when some people kept bringing it up. I was sad and overwhelmed by the irony of the venue plus the fact that it was my birthday. I should have been elsewhere, celebrating on my own. I wanted to be there, though and I don't regret it. I just wish that I had been able to do something more on my own.