random throwback Thursday (a day late)

This is the current throwback photo.  I loved creating this corkboard.  Mostly corks from my life with Brian and then wine with Sara Jo and a few with Sam.  2003-2006.  The last bottle of wine I drank with with Brian is in the center. He made a chicken dish. We discussed our future--having kids, travel and possibly buying a home. It was Monday and we were watching 24.  I'll always cherish that memory and how safe and supported I felt.  Especially the talk about having kids. I would have with him.  I truly loved him and our life.  

Losing him definitely altered the course of my life. It reinforced the importance of living life on my terms.  Becoming unconventional, traveling and not apologizing for it.  I do not regret my choices or meeting him.  He showed me to engage life and to live without regrets.

I still have this piece to remind me of my life with him.  Ironically, I had a dream last night and he and the Warrior Prince were both in it.  It was odd.  I was late for work and current co-workers were in my dream but the job I was late for was in Phoenix.  Brian drove me to work but then it was Maghan who drove me back home to retrieve my work clothes.  When I finally arrived at work, the bar was not set up and I was trying to pour beer at one bar and was completely overwhelmed by the volume of the tickets. 

I woke up exasperated! I really despise the work dream where I cannot keep up with tickets.  These dreams are awful.  It is, as if, the printer will not stop printing and there are 50 tickets I need to make and everyone is standing around staring at me.  These dreams terrify me.

And remembering the dream. And the men in my life. Perhaps that is why this memory pepped up today.  It honors my love for Brian and the life we had and also inspires how I think of Maghan and how I am currently living.  I finally am ready to establish some roots and adult.  Physicals, life insurance, paying taxes.  All adulting tasks.  In addition, I love travel, wine and sharing experiences.  Sort of like an affirmation that I am on the right path and happy.  I would love to arrange a trip with the Warrior Prince soon.  I miss travel too much.  Maybe I am overthinking it.  

I just completed a physical and after fasting for the previous twelve hours, I am determined to find some wine for lunch.  Or perhaps sushi for dinner.  I am definitely celebrating life!  I hope you do as well.