More thoughts

More notifications that I should turn to writing more.  So here goes.  January was constructive and this month has been shaky.  It began with motivation and the belief that I would continue with habits I formed last month.  Waking up with sun salutations, dry sauna meditating and reading.  I have been consistent with the dry sauna, semi-consistent with the sun salutations and terrible with the reading. 

Today sort of got away from me.  I woke up, intent, on teaching a 9 am class.  I set up the zoom, turned on the video and waited.  I try to wait five minutes before ending the video.  Sometimes the Sunday classes are a bust. A few weeks ago, I decided to add an a.m. class in addition to my afternoon session.  I figure I am planting seeds to grow and I am seeing progress.  The live class on Wednesdays keep me honest, too.  I get in a solid class without skipping the chatarangas which I manage to do when I teach.  

The afternoon session has been consistent until today. My client that I set it up for texted me a few days ago to let me know that they would not be joining.  Her stepdaughter is turning thirteen and so they would be celebrating.  Completely understandable. Still, I set up the class hoping that a few people would attend.  

Yesterday, my class turned into a one on one.  I owed it to Jordan to do it, too. He has been wonderful in opening the bar up for me on Saturday mornings.  All he gets out of it is time out of his day and some yoga when he practices.  He is a young man with an active social life.  I know that it cuts into his Friday nights.  He mentioned that last Friday he was planning on attending a warehouse party that would have ended at 6 a.m.  It can be hard to excuse yourself when you are having fun.

Since it was just the two of us yesterday, I tried out a few things on him.  He is athletic and has great core strength.  I loved going upside down and doing jump backs and jump forwards.  It actually improved my mood and reminded me of why I wanted to learn to teach.

I keep allowing my practice to evolve. And when I am available to teach, too.  I need to have firmer boundaries with that.  I know I am on the right path and sometimes, I get impatient.  Impatience leads to anxiety and lousy sleep.  Some poor decisions, too.  Then, I get a sign or a reminder to stay the course and not give up.  

I intend to put more effort into my writing, journaling and taking time for me.  I cannot distract myself by choosing to be social 70% of the time.  This is going to require more effort on my part and more discipline it seems.  I am committed to making my dream a reality.