random throwback Thursday (a day late)

This is the current throwback photo.  I loved creating this corkboard.  Mostly corks from my life with Brian and then wine with Sara Jo and a few with Sam.  2003-2006.  The last bottle of wine I drank with with Brian is in the center. He made a chicken dish. We discussed our future--having kids, travel and possibly buying a home. It was Monday and we were watching 24.  I'll always cherish that memory and how safe and supported I felt.  Especially the talk about having kids. I would have with him.  I truly loved him and our life.  

Losing him definitely altered the course of my life. It reinforced the importance of living life on my terms.  Becoming unconventional, traveling and not apologizing for it.  I do not regret my choices or meeting him.  He showed me to engage life and to live without regrets.

I still have this piece to remind me of my life with him.  Ironically, I had a dream last night and he and the Warrior Prince were both in it.  It was odd.  I was late for work and current co-workers were in my dream but the job I was late for was in Phoenix.  Brian drove me to work but then it was Maghan who drove me back home to retrieve my work clothes.  When I finally arrived at work, the bar was not set up and I was trying to pour beer at one bar and was completely overwhelmed by the volume of the tickets. 

I woke up exasperated! I really despise the work dream where I cannot keep up with tickets.  These dreams are awful.  It is, as if, the printer will not stop printing and there are 50 tickets I need to make and everyone is standing around staring at me.  These dreams terrify me.

And remembering the dream. And the men in my life. Perhaps that is why this memory pepped up today.  It honors my love for Brian and the life we had and also inspires how I think of Maghan and how I am currently living.  I finally am ready to establish some roots and adult.  Physicals, life insurance, paying taxes.  All adulting tasks.  In addition, I love travel, wine and sharing experiences.  Sort of like an affirmation that I am on the right path and happy.  I would love to arrange a trip with the Warrior Prince soon.  I miss travel too much.  Maybe I am overthinking it.  

I just completed a physical and after fasting for the previous twelve hours, I am determined to find some wine for lunch.  Or perhaps sushi for dinner.  I am definitely celebrating life!  I hope you do as well.  

Staying accountable

I believe I am on the right path.  In the last few months, I have been reevaluating my life.  What I enjoy?  What is important and how to make things happen.  Of course, I miss traveling.  That is a large area of my life and I am unable to create currently. I want to create in my life and I suppose part of that is staying accountable. I can talk all day about how I would like to change my life but if I don't take steps to change it.  I will remain in the same place.
That is not a terrible position to be in.  I have shelter, access to clean water, a job, a fantastic support network and the ability to focus on health and wellness.  For the first time ever, I am questioning my relationship with money. I have always operated from a position of--live within your means.  My parents, specifically my dad, always preached about the importance of not being in debt. And, I have been fortunate to manage my finances from that belief system.  As a result, my credit is great, but I would still be limited on access to home loans or loans in general. I think back to those childhood mantras and how I would be in a different place if I had a different relationship with money. I have been listening to podcasts, following finance guys and considering how to make changes to improve my relationship. I already save 50 percent of what I make weekly to fund my love of travel.  I cannot travel anywhere so why am I not investing in myself?  Or retiring early? That would be pretty amazing.  I have never thought about when I would retire.  I suppose I believe I will work forever. But, why?  Why stay in this lane? 
That is what I am reflecting on today?  What is it that truly speaks to me?  How can I make it happen within the confines of my daily life?  What small changes can I make to form a healthy habit?  Accountability is one of the main components of change.  Committing to a routine and being accountable if I don't stay the course.  What is it they say--21 days to form a habit?  I have been listening to a meditation in the mornings which helps me set up my day in a place of gratitude. I think it is making a difference on my overall approach to my day.  I want to create on this blog and build.  Writing is such a powerful outlet to release emotions, desires and ultimately, dreams.  It enables a platform to be accountable to yourself.  And make changes.
I spoke to my sister and her bestie about relationships with money.  They are fans of a man who is a little too old school for me.  My dad loves this guy.  I think I need help/assistance with the growing money or setting up passive income.  Their guru is too focused on getting out of debt.  And it makes sense for most people. I need tools to redevelop my belief system with money.  That will be my next task.
I hope you enjoy your start to the weekend.  I am off to walk the park, listen to a podcast and greet the day.  Cheers!

random throwback...2010?

Another random selection.  I scroll through the jpegs and click open. This is what popped up. 
I have been well.  Walking City Park daily, listening to podcasts and reflecting on life.  I did manage to see my dentist to have my permanent crown adjusted.  I don't know that I love this particular crown.  I think I will continue to have issues with it and it is incredibly furstrating.
I look back at this photo and think--this was pre-plastic surgery on my lip where I never consider if it curls oddly.  This is another example of spending time with my amazing partner and friend.  Clearly, I moved out of my wearing neutral colors phase (thankfully).  If only I knew now what I was doing ten years ago.  It's funny how much time can show us change, adaptation and clarity.  Oh and that some people never seem to age (seriously, I think, Maghan looks the exact same way when I met him in 2008.  This man does not age!)
Take some time and reflect on your memories.  What is important to you?  What is your why?  I listened to a podcast earlier today and it has remained with me all day.  Why do you get up?  Why do you work for other people if, in fact, you do work for others?  What is your passion?  Do you enjoy gardening?  Cooking for yourself?  Taking care of yourself?
I have a few more days off to assess, reflect and self-care.  I am super stoked to evaluate.  And hydrate.  And, reflect.  This is one of my favorite memories.  I love expressing joy--food, companionship and amazing wine.  I am sure of that!  Cheers and enjoy your night~

2020 anniversary trip. Celebrating Brian's life

I might as well back track this year.  2020 was the fourteen year anniversary of Brian's death. Shari and I chose Barcelona as our celebration destination. Spain, in general, but every time I would mention that I would be heading to Spain, people immediately said--oh, Barcelona, right?  It felt kismet.
We arranged an eight day excursion to Barcelona.  Initially, I thought we would attempt to check out Madrid or a day trip somewhere.  We ran out of time!  And, Barcelona was magnificent.  The architecture, wide boulevards encouraging walking everywhere and food. My flight to Barcelona was not that fantastic. The night of my departure, I drank five americanos to help me stay awake. I will be honest.  Coffee has never affected me or so I thought. I was unable to sleep into the following day. Maghan agreed to take me to the airport at 4 am which was really sweet.  He had finished working a shift around midnight and arrived at my house by 2 am. I treated him to breakfast at Pete's before heading back to the airport. I thought I would be able to sleep on my flight to New York. No such luck and then I met Shari at JFK. We had a four hour layover which allowed us time to eat, drink and catch up.  The flight to Barcelona, I think, I slept an hour and a half.  When we arrived in Spain, I was disoriented and trying to find the right train connection became annoying.  We finally found our airbnb and I took a much needed nap. Only an hour and a half to minimize the onset of jet lag. 
We made our back into the city and found a money changer before finding lunch.  I think our favorite metro stop was the Arch de Triomphe.  Somehow, that was our entry and exit to the city.  We were able to maneuver, easily, from this destination.  We tried other stops but always ended up confused.  I bought a map the first day which was the best purchase. 
Over the course of the next week, we walked everywhere.  To Park Guell, the majority of the Gaudi highlights, the beach for am yoga and of course, to restaurants.  I love the culture over there.  I would begin my day with cava and vermouth.  We would sample a few tapas before heading to a different area of town.  We took in one museum, the Picassso. It was nice.  I was thankful it was a free exhibit on Sundays.  I don't know that I would have loved paying for it. 
Some of the food highlights--Quimet, Quimet, tapas 24, canate--to name a few.  I loved Quimet, Quimet. I wish we had found it sooner.  The tapas were delicious!  And we returned to tapas 24 for the tuna potato salad and foie sliders.
The trip was phenomenal and Brian would have loved it.  Shari and I are trying to figure out where to go next year.  I think our options will be limited.  Probably domestic travel.  Maybe somewhere in the Caribbean or Puerto Rico. I should put some effort into making it work.
I am about to head outside and enjoy the sunshine!  It is a beautiful day to go outside.  I am also stopping by my favorite taproom later to see friends.  I have some bubbly to drop off.  Cheers to Friday!

throwback Thursday edition

I decided to scroll through my photos that are on my laptop and randomly select a photo.  So here it is....completely, random photo.  I didn't select an image.  I chose the jpeg. Still a fantastic memory. I was in Hoi An, Vietnam, on a quest to enjoy food, travel and massages. Shari and I spent three weeks in Southeast Asia--Bangkok, Vietnam, Laos and Cambodia.  We found this spa on our second day in Hoi An. The owner was so kind and we enjoyed our services--hour long massages, that we chose to return two days later for pedicures and massages. It was a fantastic decision.
I miss travel.  I won't lie.  It is frustrating to not be able to arrange a trip or know when traveling outside of the U.S. will be an option. Of course, there are a few countries in the Caribbean we can go to which is great. I am used to being able to go wherever I want to. I am concerned that our trip in 2021 will be local. Either in the midwest or possibly west coast. It all will depend on how the next six months unfolds. 
I will continue to be diligent in my health, wellness and memories. Spreading positivity and kindness. I hope you enjoy your Thursday and take a moment to reflect on an area of your life that brings you happiness. It could be family, food, trips, clothes, cars, etc....anything that speaks to you. For me, I will always want travel in my life.  I have benefitted so much from those experiences and people I have met during my journeys. My last trip was to Barcelona in February2020. I am so thankful that Shari and I went to Spain before everything shut down.  I will always remember how wonderful it was to explore the pedestrian friendly city. I ate my weight in jamon, haha....Have a fantastic Thursday. Cheers!

Recovering from my work week

As I get older, my body requires a full day (it seems) to reset from twelve hour shifts. I thought I could hack the double shift but wow, it really takes it out of me. I prepare by getting solid nights of sleep the two nights leading up to my work week.  I try to eat clean and allow myself time to fully rest and be healthy heading in to the weekend of work.  I still have not figured out the ideal balance. Saturday was manageable. I returned home at a decent time and drank more water before meditating. Sunday, I taught yoga in the morning, walked City Park, had lunch and then headed into work.  I was feeling fine. Same sort of story on Sunday night--home early-ish, eat dinner and meditate. Monday morning, I woke up at 5 a.m. to be able to some things for me before going into work by 9:45. Meditation first thing, walk City Park and listen to a podcast, breakfast and then drive downtown.  I had already done most of the prep for the day and so I was relaxed and ready for work. 
I manage to drink water and feel decent til about the ten hour point. Then exhaustion settles in. I feel that I declined quickly.  I could not wait to go home and shower.  It was all I could think about, lol.  I leave work and jump in the shower immediately. Basically, I enter my house, throw my clothes on the floor and shower. It is sort of comical and my new normal.  Similar to buying groceries. I return from the store and always forget something.  I am in such a hurry to get out of the store that I almost always forget one or two items.  I bring groceries in and wipe everything down with disinfectant, throw my mask in the hand sink to wash and then wash my hands.  Wash, rinse, repeat....exactly what I am now doing on my return from work routine.
Concluding my work night, post shower/washing hair, I find something to eat. It isn't perfect and I try to avoid dining that late normally. However, I know I need fuel for the body! When I skip it, the recovery takes much longer.  My first double back at work and the following day I treated myself to lunch and wine at a local spot. I went home and took a five hour nap. Lesson learned. Avoid overindulging following a double.  My sleep schedule was all out of whack!
Today, I woke up early to meditate before yoga clients.  Meditation helps and now I am struggling to stay awake. I suppose it is a good thing. I am working, healthy, and meeting people. I am hopeful to meet Christine for a loop around the park before allowing myself to take a nap.
The weather cooled off a bit which has been a welcome reprieve.  Last week was challenging to sleep and stay cool.  I woke up, twice, due to being too hot. I incorporated the wet a towel and place it on your chest method which helped a little.  Today, I foresee a lovely night of sleep!  I am taking a few days off from imbibing wine in preparation of my physical. Another way to adult--get life insurance.  I suppose I am trying to do things that I should have done years ago.  Focusing on my health and wellness makes me feel productive and positive.  Plus, it helps center my attention on things that in my control.  Ultimately, healthy for me, too.
I need a new book to add that aspect to my life. I have a few financial books to contend with but love a fiction book.  I might meet the Goddess next week to exchange books. I love sharing books!
The next few days I will continue to walk, meditate, listen to podcasts and relax. It is great to have the opportunity to slow down and pivot.  I am thankful for the time to do it.
Enjoy your night!  Cheers~

Random Sunday morning thoughts

Wow!  Has is really been over a year since I have actually taken the time to blog? In all fairness, I started working on another blog/website more directed at my yoga practice. From that, got a little side tracked on this blog and writing in general. I miss the ease of blogging and so I am back for this Sunday at least.
The other blog is still under construction. It is on a different platform and wants more widgets, guidance, etc. before it allows me to post anything.  I have been very frustrated and so it remains a work in progress. I had much more ease setting this one up and found it simple to add photos or other widgets.  I set this up to communicate with my friends and family while traveling for six months in 20007 and 2008.  I found that I loved it and that it became an outlet for me to share snippets of my life. I have been fortunate with the majority of my travel until this year. Thankfully, I flew to Barcelona at the end of February to celebrate Brian's life with Shari. It has been fourteen years since he died and we chose to go big in honor of the second seven year cycle.  Barcelona was incredible. We spent a week there--walking everywhere and soaking in all of the architecture, tapas and vermouth. We returned on March 4th.  I am so grateful that we went.  Now, I don't know the next time I will get on a plane or be able to travel outside of the U.S. It's devastating!
What a year 2020 has been!  Initially, I was scared at what would happen to my livelihood, health, wellness, family. There have been so many uncertainties.  It's challenging to navigate it.  I have been attempting to pivot and make it an opportunity.  I actually enjoyed not working for awhile. It forced me to reevaluate my life and what was important to me. I know that I am not alone in this or that it is unique. It is just something I have been reflecting on. Make it an opportunity or continue to look at it as challenging.  I suppose listening to podcasts is also inspiring this change of attitude and potential direction in life. 
Although, prior to the shut down, I had been talking to Maghan about us doing something together. We started thinking about what we would could do on our own. Meeting for lunch to brainstorm and do research and development.  We considered a trip to Miami or Jamaica. That is on hold for obvious reasons. But the idea and dream remains in my reality. And the hope to travel abroad is always on my horizon.
I am well.  Healthy and committed to my fitness goals. I have been able to expand my network of friends who take guidance from me. I love sharing what I am learning and watching them grow and evolve on their own wellness path.  I feel it is essential, especially now, to have a routine of health. It has assisted me in remaining positive and happy.
I should return to this creative outlet. It always brought me joy! I hope you enjoy your Sunday however you choose to spend it. I am going to get outside and enjoy some sunshine before working later. It is a lovely day to be inspired~