Saturday, September 12, 2020

Finding a balance

 Spreading kindness and positivity.  I was positive about making changes during the shut down.  I cooked daily, walked City Park and taught yoga.  I listened to multiple podcasts and was living a pretty clean eating type of life.  Slowly, as things reopened, I reverted back to what was normal to me.  Dining out or ordering take out.  I stopped making kitchari (the most complete protein and vegetarian inspired dish with curry spice, coriander, ginger and turmeric.  super good for your digestive system).  I still walk but have to make an effort to do it.  There was much more ease during the shutdown in that regard.

I suppose I acknowledge that as much as I enjoyed the forced changes, pivots, adaptations, I still feel comfort in what I had been doing.  Do I love cooking at home?  Not really.  It can be challenging to prep and cook for one person.  Having to do it made sense and now I have options.  I need to find a balance and prioritize it.  There is a balance between ordering take out and cooking at home. And, I was enjoying being creative.  I made cold summer pasta salad and slow cooked lentils from recipes that a friend posted on social media.  I loved seeing what Rick would present next. I have made lentils and pinto beans multiple times this summer.  On Tuesday, had I had onions, carrot and celery (mirepoix), I would have made a pot of something. It was the perfect day for it.  The temperatures dropped in Denver and I found myself sporting a hoodie and jeans.  This is atypical of early September.  I would have loved to have made a pot of lentils or green chile.

Speaking of green chile...I met the Goddess for dinner the other night and she wants to finally visit Santa Fe.  We are heading down in early October to explore the City Different.  I am excited since I have not visited since early June.  We will have dinner with Melody and potentially try the margarita trail or go hiking.  I was shown a spot on my last visit that was pretty great!  Or we can check out yoga and/or the Himalayan salt caves.  I am uncertain if Ojo Caliente is open again after their fires.  Or if they are open to people that are not staying at their hotel.  There is so much unknown still.  I considered going to hot springs in Colorado on my last staycation but it seems difficult to pin down a time where I would not be standing in line.  I frequent a korean spa in Denver and am so thankful they are open.  They have limited the soaking to two hours and number of people within the facility.  I know they are struggling to stay open.  Yesterday, I had arranged a body scrub and there were women walking around without a mask in spite of the notices saying that masks are required in every area.  It's frustrating to see that since I want the facility to stay open.  I do not want them to have to shut down since a few people will not follow a simple rule.  Is wearing a mask while receiving the body scrub comfortable?  No, it isn't.  It gets wet.  Yet, I do it to ensure that I have the opportunity to receive this service.

I want to find a balance in my life.  And, I choose to spread kindness and positivity as opposed to buying into fear.   There is an ample amount of that currently.  I choose kindness.  I hope to reach out to friends and family via letter or phone today.  I got out of that habit in my return march to what is normal as well.  I loved that I wrote letters during the shut down.  And, my little sister and her friend, Melanie, and I have been sending each other books.  I support this habit as well.

Celebrate today and spread some positivity!

Thursday, August 13, 2020

Throwback Thursday

 Throwback Thursday...feeling important, lol.  2013.  Paso Robles, California.  I managed a few trips--beer driven, wine inspired and destination race oriented.  This photo is from a market that carried this wine.  Sara Jo and I were exploring the area and stocking up on supplies.  I have sampled Harmony Cellars wines a few times in my life.  I do enjoy the Chardonnay and of course, love anything with my name on it!

Here is to a new Thursday and opportunity to travel.  The next few weeks, I will be staycationing around the beautiful state of Colorado.  I will check out Buena Vista with Maghan and then Keystone with Jenn the following week.  I am a lucky lady!

Til then, enjoy your day.  I need to return to teaching and planning out my day.  Cheers!

Friday, August 7, 2020

throwback Thursday (late, again)

 I apologize.  I meant to handle this yesterday but had multiple classes, lunch plans, dinner plans.  My day got away from me.  I seriously do not know how I have spent the last three days off.  Yoga, barre, meet ups, reading, hydrating, planning....this is my life.

I still have my memories of travel.  Actually, I made plans to have my passport renewed.  We shall see how long this venture takes.  I believe we will be able to travel again, worldwide.  My friend, Ven, always refers to me as sister.  It is such a term of endearment.  And, I love it.  He commented that he hoped I would return to Siem Reap, Cambodia.  My comment was that, yes, I would love to do that.  When I applied for my renewed passport, it inquired about upcoming travel.  I explained that 2021, I would be in Thailand in late March/early April.  I remember Maghan wanting three weeks to explore Thailand.  He seemed insistent about it.  I am trying to honor him.

This photo is from Italy 2012.  Agnese's grandmother, Marina.  A delightful woman.  Daily, she wakes up, drinks coffee, puts on lipstick and a dress and spends time at her house.  Mid afternoon, her daughter or son-in-law collects her for meals with them.  She sleeps at their home but wakes up early to return home.  

I spent five days with them in 2012 and they were amazing.  Fed me.  Sheltered me and put up with my lack of Italian.  Oh, and the espresso factor was incredible.  I have good friends.

I connected with Cody earlier and see a road trip to Utah in my future.  I have some travel plans in Colorado at the end of the month and hope to visit the Littles in Kansas soon.  It pains me to drive there.  I cannot help it.  However, my love of family outweighs most other things.  

Until then...enjoy your night, book and water.  Cheers!

Wednesday, August 5, 2020

mid week check in

How are you?  Have you remained committed to your goals?  Do you need motivation?  Or insight? A reminder?
Are you tracking your goals?  Journaling?  Taking photos?  What makes you accountable for your decisions?
I texted a friend from college to see how she is doing.  She wants to moderate her wine during the week and increase her movement.  I called her Friday and she was not quite ready to commit.  Today, she seemed more open to having the check in.  I am trying to be accountable with us to motivate myself to make videos.  I have promised videos, loosely, to two people, that I admire and respect.  I cannot let them down.  I need to have integrity in how I manage myself.  I committed to the Motivation Monday and slowly, I am easing into the video aspect.  New video that is....I have been sharing TRX videos and putting myself out there. I am thankful for that.
Today was a great day for me.  Initially, I thought it was jammed pack of things I felt I needed to do.  Teaching, lesson planning, figuring out my passport renewal, stamps...I stepped back and wrote down what was manageable and what I was capable of doing today.  I spread out what was priority and what I could do tomorrow or Friday.  It felt fantastic!  I threw in a mid-afternoon nap.  Glorious.  Yesterday, I felt great but knew that my sleep was depleted.  I tried to hydrate.  Truly, I did.  Yet, thirteen hours can be a beast!
I skipped my daily walk but figure I taught three sessions today and could use two days off of the walk.  I listened to podcasts. sent in my passport renewal and treated myself to sushi for happy hour.  A fantastic day off.  Happy hour was a 30 minute barre session.  I can enjoy some wine, relax and think about the next two days off.  I love my life.  I have always chosen the unconventional life.  I didn't do what I was supposed to do.  My parents hoped I would go to law school after I proclaimed at six years old that I wanted to be a lawyer.  That thought lasted til I went to college. Quickly, I leaned I wanted more from life.
I still don't know that I have grown up or know how to proceed.  What I do know is this....I want to be happy.  I want to feel passion for what I am accomplishing.  I want to feel alive!  I prefer helping others on their path.  Perhaps, I am fully ready to embrace being a healer/teacher.
Figure out what makes sense to you.  Hydrate.  Get outside and most importantly, breathe some life into your world!  Happy Hump Day!


Saturday, August 1, 2020

Staying consistent

I listened to a podcast this morning.  I have been pretty consistent with that particular routine.  I enjoy walking with Christine or walking while listening to a podcast.  There are a few that I enjoy--Entrepeneurs on Fire, Unemployable and Millionaire Mindcast.  They are inspiring and help me along my path to being my own boss.  
I listened to an episode today about Covid-19.  Although, really, it seems that every conversation makes its way back to this at some point.  With friends, scrolling through social media, the news (which I force myself to not watch to dive into the rabbit hole) and of course, podcasts.  The guest today pointed out that this could be a time of opportunity.   It is all based on how you react.  Not from a position of starting over; but perhaps, transitioning.  Or, pivoting.  I prefer the pivot!  
In addition, how you respond determines where you will end up.  I liked everything this man had to say except he got sort of preachy on binging netflix or drinking wine.  I do not appreciate the judgement.  Sometimes, I want to completely let go of my responsibilities.  I don't want to plan, organize, coordinate.  I just want to be.  And maybe that includes drinking wine.  And streaming some b.s. show.  Does this make me a bad person?  I don't think so.
The guest on the podcast, twice, referenced checking out to external factors and was quick to point out--I'm not being an asshole....um, yea, yes, you are!  Get off of your soap box!  Not everyone responds to stress in the same way.  I did enjoy the majority of what he had to say.
I appreciated the stress on the pivot, making choices and acting.  I think this is all resonating with me.  I honestly do not know what I am doing, financially.  I don't invest in real estate and I go back and forth on that importance.  I have always paved my own path.  Not conforming to the beliefs of others.  Sometimes, I doubt my choices.  Right now, I am concerned about my relationship with money and how it has limited my position.  I could be in a different place if I had different beliefs about money.  I never used my credit card, regularly, until three years ago.  I think about all of the plane tickets I could have paid for using points instead of cash. I was taught to believe that you live within your means.  Pay in cash.
It has served me well. I cannot lie.  However, I could be in a much more secure place.  Having my  money make more money for me. I am still learning how to do this.  
The pivot. 
Believing in myself, enough, to make it work.  Knowing that I provide a good service to my friends and intending on expanding my circle. I see how I can help others.  Most importantly, I see how staying consistent is essential.  Following up with people.  Sending reminders, cards of encouragement and providing workouts, tailored, for the client.  Making it all work out!
Cheers to Saturday.  Enjoy your weekend. Stay consistent in your hydration, haha!

Friday, July 31, 2020

random throwback Thursday (a day late)


This is the current throwback photo.  I loved creating this corkboard.  Mostly corks from my life with Brian and then wine with Sara Jo and a few with Sam.  2003-2006.  The last bottle of wine I drank with with Brian is in the center. He made a chicken dish. We discussed our future--having kids, travel and possibly buying a home. It was Monday and we were watching 24.  I'll always cherish that memory and how safe and supported I felt.  Especially the talk about having kids. I would have with him.  I truly loved him and our life.  
Losing him definitely altered the course of my life. It reinforced the importance of living life on my terms.  Becoming unconventional, traveling and not apologizing for it.  I do not regret my choices or meeting him.  He showed me to engage life and to live without regrets.
I still have this piece to remind me of my life with him.  Ironically, I had a dream last night and he and the Warrior Prince were both in it.  It was odd.  I was late for work and current co-workers were in my dream but the job I was late for was in Phoenix.  Brian drove me to work but then it was Maghan who drove me back home to retrieve my work clothes.  When I finally arrived at work, the bar was not set up and I was trying to pour beer at one bar and was completely overwhelmed by the volume of the tickets. 
I woke up exasperated! I really despise the work dream where I cannot keep up with tickets.  These dreams are awful.  It is, as if, the printer will not stop printing and there are 50 tickets I need to make and everyone is standing around staring at me.  These dreams terrify me.
And remembering the dream. And the men in my life. Perhaps that is why this memory pepped up today.  It honors my love for Brian and the life we had and also inspires how I think of Maghan and how I am currently living.  I finally am ready to establish some roots and adult.  Physicals, life insurance, paying taxes.  All adulting tasks.  In addition, I love travel, wine and sharing experiences.  Sort of like an affirmation that I am on the right path and happy.  I would love to arrange a trip with the Warrior Prince soon.  I miss travel too much.  Maybe I am overthinking it.  
I just completed a physical and after fasting for the previous twelve hours, I am determined to find some wine for lunch.  Or perhaps sushi for dinner.  I am definitely celebrating life!  I hope you do as well.  

Saturday, July 25, 2020

Staying accountable

I believe I am on the right path.  In the last few months, I have been reevaluating my life.  What I enjoy?  What is important and how to make things happen.  Of course, I miss traveling.  That is a large area of my life and I am unable to create currently. I want to create in my life and I suppose part of that is staying accountable. I can talk all day about how I would like to change my life but if I don't take steps to change it.  I will remain in the same place.
That is not a terrible position to be in.  I have shelter, access to clean water, a job, a fantastic support network and the ability to focus on health and wellness.  For the first time ever, I am questioning my relationship with money. I have always operated from a position of--live within your means.  My parents, specifically my dad, always preached about the importance of not being in debt. And, I have been fortunate to manage my finances from that belief system.  As a result, my credit is great, but I would still be limited on access to home loans or loans in general. I think back to those childhood mantras and how I would be in a different place if I had a different relationship with money. I have been listening to podcasts, following finance guys and considering how to make changes to improve my relationship. I already save 50 percent of what I make weekly to fund my love of travel.  I cannot travel anywhere so why am I not investing in myself?  Or retiring early? That would be pretty amazing.  I have never thought about when I would retire.  I suppose I believe I will work forever. But, why?  Why stay in this lane? 
That is what I am reflecting on today?  What is it that truly speaks to me?  How can I make it happen within the confines of my daily life?  What small changes can I make to form a healthy habit?  Accountability is one of the main components of change.  Committing to a routine and being accountable if I don't stay the course.  What is it they say--21 days to form a habit?  I have been listening to a meditation in the mornings which helps me set up my day in a place of gratitude. I think it is making a difference on my overall approach to my day.  I want to create on this blog and build.  Writing is such a powerful outlet to release emotions, desires and ultimately, dreams.  It enables a platform to be accountable to yourself.  And make changes.
I spoke to my sister and her bestie about relationships with money.  They are fans of a man who is a little too old school for me.  My dad loves this guy.  I think I need help/assistance with the growing money or setting up passive income.  Their guru is too focused on getting out of debt.  And it makes sense for most people. I need tools to redevelop my belief system with money.  That will be my next task.
I hope you enjoy your start to the weekend.  I am off to walk the park, listen to a podcast and greet the day.  Cheers!

Wednesday, July 22, 2020

random throwback...2010?

Another random selection.  I scroll through the jpegs and click open. This is what popped up. 
I have been well.  Walking City Park daily, listening to podcasts and reflecting on life.  I did manage to see my dentist to have my permanent crown adjusted.  I don't know that I love this particular crown.  I think I will continue to have issues with it and it is incredibly furstrating.
I look back at this photo and think--this was pre-plastic surgery on my lip where I never consider if it curls oddly.  This is another example of spending time with my amazing partner and friend.  Clearly, I moved out of my wearing neutral colors phase (thankfully).  If only I knew now what I was doing ten years ago.  It's funny how much time can show us change, adaptation and clarity.  Oh and that some people never seem to age (seriously, I think, Maghan looks the exact same way when I met him in 2008.  This man does not age!)
Take some time and reflect on your memories.  What is important to you?  What is your why?  I listened to a podcast earlier today and it has remained with me all day.  Why do you get up?  Why do you work for other people if, in fact, you do work for others?  What is your passion?  Do you enjoy gardening?  Cooking for yourself?  Taking care of yourself?
I have a few more days off to assess, reflect and self-care.  I am super stoked to evaluate.  And hydrate.  And, reflect.  This is one of my favorite memories.  I love expressing joy--food, companionship and amazing wine.  I am sure of that!  Cheers and enjoy your night~

Friday, July 17, 2020

2020 anniversary trip. Celebrating Brian's life

I might as well back track this year.  2020 was the fourteen year anniversary of Brian's death. Shari and I chose Barcelona as our celebration destination. Spain, in general, but every time I would mention that I would be heading to Spain, people immediately said--oh, Barcelona, right?  It felt kismet.
We arranged an eight day excursion to Barcelona.  Initially, I thought we would attempt to check out Madrid or a day trip somewhere.  We ran out of time!  And, Barcelona was magnificent.  The architecture, wide boulevards encouraging walking everywhere and food. My flight to Barcelona was not that fantastic. The night of my departure, I drank five americanos to help me stay awake. I will be honest.  Coffee has never affected me or so I thought. I was unable to sleep into the following day. Maghan agreed to take me to the airport at 4 am which was really sweet.  He had finished working a shift around midnight and arrived at my house by 2 am. I treated him to breakfast at Pete's before heading back to the airport. I thought I would be able to sleep on my flight to New York. No such luck and then I met Shari at JFK. We had a four hour layover which allowed us time to eat, drink and catch up.  The flight to Barcelona, I think, I slept an hour and a half.  When we arrived in Spain, I was disoriented and trying to find the right train connection became annoying.  We finally found our airbnb and I took a much needed nap. Only an hour and a half to minimize the onset of jet lag. 
We made our back into the city and found a money changer before finding lunch.  I think our favorite metro stop was the Arch de Triomphe.  Somehow, that was our entry and exit to the city.  We were able to maneuver, easily, from this destination.  We tried other stops but always ended up confused.  I bought a map the first day which was the best purchase. 
Over the course of the next week, we walked everywhere.  To Park Guell, the majority of the Gaudi highlights, the beach for am yoga and of course, to restaurants.  I love the culture over there.  I would begin my day with cava and vermouth.  We would sample a few tapas before heading to a different area of town.  We took in one museum, the Picassso. It was nice.  I was thankful it was a free exhibit on Sundays.  I don't know that I would have loved paying for it. 
Some of the food highlights--Quimet, Quimet, tapas 24, canate--to name a few.  I loved Quimet, Quimet. I wish we had found it sooner.  The tapas were delicious!  And we returned to tapas 24 for the tuna potato salad and foie sliders.
The trip was phenomenal and Brian would have loved it.  Shari and I are trying to figure out where to go next year.  I think our options will be limited.  Probably domestic travel.  Maybe somewhere in the Caribbean or Puerto Rico. I should put some effort into making it work.
I am about to head outside and enjoy the sunshine!  It is a beautiful day to go outside.  I am also stopping by my favorite taproom later to see friends.  I have some bubbly to drop off.  Cheers to Friday!

Thursday, July 16, 2020

throwback Thursday edition

I decided to scroll through my photos that are on my laptop and randomly select a photo.  So here it is....completely, random photo.  I didn't select an image.  I chose the jpeg. Still a fantastic memory. I was in Hoi An, Vietnam, on a quest to enjoy food, travel and massages. Shari and I spent three weeks in Southeast Asia--Bangkok, Vietnam, Laos and Cambodia.  We found this spa on our second day in Hoi An. The owner was so kind and we enjoyed our services--hour long massages, that we chose to return two days later for pedicures and massages. It was a fantastic decision.
I miss travel.  I won't lie.  It is frustrating to not be able to arrange a trip or know when traveling outside of the U.S. will be an option. Of course, there are a few countries in the Caribbean we can go to which is great. I am used to being able to go wherever I want to. I am concerned that our trip in 2021 will be local. Either in the midwest or possibly west coast. It all will depend on how the next six months unfolds. 
I will continue to be diligent in my health, wellness and memories. Spreading positivity and kindness. I hope you enjoy your Thursday and take a moment to reflect on an area of your life that brings you happiness. It could be family, food, trips, clothes, cars, etc....anything that speaks to you. For me, I will always want travel in my life.  I have benefitted so much from those experiences and people I have met during my journeys. My last trip was to Barcelona in February2020. I am so thankful that Shari and I went to Spain before everything shut down.  I will always remember how wonderful it was to explore the pedestrian friendly city. I ate my weight in jamon, haha....Have a fantastic Thursday. Cheers!

Tuesday, July 14, 2020

Recovering from my work week

As I get older, my body requires a full day (it seems) to reset from twelve hour shifts. I thought I could hack the double shift but wow, it really takes it out of me. I prepare by getting solid nights of sleep the two nights leading up to my work week.  I try to eat clean and allow myself time to fully rest and be healthy heading in to the weekend of work.  I still have not figured out the ideal balance. Saturday was manageable. I returned home at a decent time and drank more water before meditating. Sunday, I taught yoga in the morning, walked City Park, had lunch and then headed into work.  I was feeling fine. Same sort of story on Sunday night--home early-ish, eat dinner and meditate. Monday morning, I woke up at 5 a.m. to be able to some things for me before going into work by 9:45. Meditation first thing, walk City Park and listen to a podcast, breakfast and then drive downtown.  I had already done most of the prep for the day and so I was relaxed and ready for work. 
I manage to drink water and feel decent til about the ten hour point. Then exhaustion settles in. I feel that I declined quickly.  I could not wait to go home and shower.  It was all I could think about, lol.  I leave work and jump in the shower immediately. Basically, I enter my house, throw my clothes on the floor and shower. It is sort of comical and my new normal.  Similar to buying groceries. I return from the store and always forget something.  I am in such a hurry to get out of the store that I almost always forget one or two items.  I bring groceries in and wipe everything down with disinfectant, throw my mask in the hand sink to wash and then wash my hands.  Wash, rinse, repeat....exactly what I am now doing on my return from work routine.
Concluding my work night, post shower/washing hair, I find something to eat. It isn't perfect and I try to avoid dining that late normally. However, I know I need fuel for the body! When I skip it, the recovery takes much longer.  My first double back at work and the following day I treated myself to lunch and wine at a local spot. I went home and took a five hour nap. Lesson learned. Avoid overindulging following a double.  My sleep schedule was all out of whack!
Today, I woke up early to meditate before yoga clients.  Meditation helps and now I am struggling to stay awake. I suppose it is a good thing. I am working, healthy, and meeting people. I am hopeful to meet Christine for a loop around the park before allowing myself to take a nap.
The weather cooled off a bit which has been a welcome reprieve.  Last week was challenging to sleep and stay cool.  I woke up, twice, due to being too hot. I incorporated the wet a towel and place it on your chest method which helped a little.  Today, I foresee a lovely night of sleep!  I am taking a few days off from imbibing wine in preparation of my physical. Another way to adult--get life insurance.  I suppose I am trying to do things that I should have done years ago.  Focusing on my health and wellness makes me feel productive and positive.  Plus, it helps center my attention on things that in my control.  Ultimately, healthy for me, too.
I need a new book to add that aspect to my life. I have a few financial books to contend with but love a fiction book.  I might meet the Goddess next week to exchange books. I love sharing books!
The next few days I will continue to walk, meditate, listen to podcasts and relax. It is great to have the opportunity to slow down and pivot.  I am thankful for the time to do it.
Enjoy your night!  Cheers~

Sunday, July 12, 2020

Random Sunday morning thoughts

Wow!  Has is really been over a year since I have actually taken the time to blog? In all fairness, I started working on another blog/website more directed at my yoga practice. From that, got a little side tracked on this blog and writing in general. I miss the ease of blogging and so I am back for this Sunday at least.
The other blog is still under construction. It is on a different platform and wants more widgets, guidance, etc. before it allows me to post anything.  I have been very frustrated and so it remains a work in progress. I had much more ease setting this one up and found it simple to add photos or other widgets.  I set this up to communicate with my friends and family while traveling for six months in 20007 and 2008.  I found that I loved it and that it became an outlet for me to share snippets of my life. I have been fortunate with the majority of my travel until this year. Thankfully, I flew to Barcelona at the end of February to celebrate Brian's life with Shari. It has been fourteen years since he died and we chose to go big in honor of the second seven year cycle.  Barcelona was incredible. We spent a week there--walking everywhere and soaking in all of the architecture, tapas and vermouth. We returned on March 4th.  I am so grateful that we went.  Now, I don't know the next time I will get on a plane or be able to travel outside of the U.S. It's devastating!
What a year 2020 has been!  Initially, I was scared at what would happen to my livelihood, health, wellness, family. There have been so many uncertainties.  It's challenging to navigate it.  I have been attempting to pivot and make it an opportunity.  I actually enjoyed not working for awhile. It forced me to reevaluate my life and what was important to me. I know that I am not alone in this or that it is unique. It is just something I have been reflecting on. Make it an opportunity or continue to look at it as challenging.  I suppose listening to podcasts is also inspiring this change of attitude and potential direction in life. 
Although, prior to the shut down, I had been talking to Maghan about us doing something together. We started thinking about what we would could do on our own. Meeting for lunch to brainstorm and do research and development.  We considered a trip to Miami or Jamaica. That is on hold for obvious reasons. But the idea and dream remains in my reality. And the hope to travel abroad is always on my horizon.
I am well.  Healthy and committed to my fitness goals. I have been able to expand my network of friends who take guidance from me. I love sharing what I am learning and watching them grow and evolve on their own wellness path.  I feel it is essential, especially now, to have a routine of health. It has assisted me in remaining positive and happy.
I should return to this creative outlet. It always brought me joy! I hope you enjoy your Sunday however you choose to spend it. I am going to get outside and enjoy some sunshine before working later. It is a lovely day to be inspired~