What are you thankful for today?

My friend, Melanie, gifted me a journal of sorts on notecards a few years ago.  I was in the habit of shuffling through the deck and choosing a question of the day.  I think I have ten left before reshuffling and beginning again.

I had been writing out my responses in a journal.  Since I took a break from blogging, I was actively trying to journal.  I have an assortment from gifts from friends and in all honesty, you can never have enough journals.  They are a remarkable gift.  

Back to the question--what am I thankful for today?

Hmmm...my health, first and foremost.  I am very thankful I can still go upside down and that I am healthy to build strength.  I have not had a serious injury for awhile.  My friend, Sara in Santa Fe, recently texted that she broke her ankle.  Ouch!  I had flashbacks to my last ankle sprain.  I remember how challenging my high ankle sprain was four years ago.  Two months of my foot in a brace before finally seeing a chiropractor.  I had tried essential oils, acupuncture, massage.  What can I say I am stubborn.  I knew it wasn't broken but what a mess!  I had started a new job when I first sprained it.  Working 10-12 hour days did not help with the healing.  I found a chiropractor that I loved.  He rehabbed my ankle.  I tried dry needling, cryo and a vascular flush.  I trusted his decisions.  He was exposed as a shaman for the Q conspiracy theorists.  I was shocked, saddened and in disbelief.  He never perpetuated any of that hate with me.

I am thankful for the majority of my life experiences.  😆  I have a bunch of stories that seem crazy and could only happen to me.  Ironically, I am mostly drawing a blank, right now, outside of the shaman.  Or there was a time in Chile where I met Shar at a hostel in Santiago.  It was an american run hostel--grand old home that had many fantastic amenities.  Family night where they made delicious food, an abundance of DVD's, a game room.  And an outbreak of bed bugs.  Awesome.

The owner refused to let people know about it and when I approached him he blamed it on peruvians.  Such a dick!  I relocated to another hostel in Valparaiso and met up with Sharleen.  Another american run hostel but completely different vibe.  We stayed at this location for 5 days and befriended a few of our fellow travelers.  Then, one day, we went to the Pablo Neruda house.  Shar and I walked to the house and it took about 45 minutes to get there.  Spent an hour touring the house and returned to our hostel.  Our things had been broken into.  My ipod was stolen, money taken and my bag slashed. I knew it was one of the guys who was staying at the hostel.  He avoided us for the next day until he departed for another destination.  The owner, this time, was more than willing to file a report for us.  He was mortified that there had been a theft in his hostel.

I did appreciate the chiropractor.  I am thankful for upcoming travel, seeing friends, and doing yoga in Santa Fe.  I will pick up more green chile from La Choza.  I may be gifting some to a few friends and clients.  

I am thankful for this beautiful day in Denver.  I need to get up and get outside.  I have been enjoying my morning coffee and being consistent with writing.  If nothing else, I keep moving forward.  Letting go of things I cannot control.  It is freeing.  

What are you thankful for today?  Contemplate it and put it down on paper.  

reflections and sleep

The mind is so powerful.  What do they say--if you think you can, you can. If you think you can't, you won't.  Pretty basic but so true.

I have been in a reflection phase the last few days.  I can't help myself.  My conscious mind is always racing and the subconscious; well, that has a pulse of its own.  Seriously.  In the last three days, two of which, I have slept like complete shit.  The one night that I had no issues I had overindulged.  I should have completely woken up, hourly.

Last night was okay. I chilled on a heating pad for the majority of the night.  Eventually, I moved to my bedroom and slept a solid six hours.  I woke up towards the end.  But it wasn't terrible.  Wednesday night was worse.  Fear, anxiety, insecurities ruled that night.  I woke up after dreaming about experiences I didn't want to have. Or seeing friends that I have not spoken to, in months, appear in restaurants in Santa Fe in my dreams.  Very bizarre.

I can only do me.  I can only focus on what is healthy for me.  Good or bad.  Sometimes, I make terrible decisions.  Honestly, I can only continue to keep it moving forward.  Not obsess or analyze why or why I do not do something.  Be thankful that I am safe and present another day.

Yoga was great this morning.  I am thankful for Jordan who allows us to utilize his space.  It all is an investment.  Laying groundwork and building foundation.   I am appreciative.  As much as I sound like I am beating myself up (or so I think), I did have good news today.  One of my clients texted to say that he enjoyed his dinner at the compound. Meanwhile, a former colleague texted and updated me on her life and travel. She had some nuggets of good insight into my current situation.  I feel that I am leading with the bad but really, I am good.  One of my other clients brought me turkey pot pie and pumpkin pie.  It has been a grand day.

I feel better.  I feel more, at peace, and that I am on the right path.  Just need to keep moving forward and not get hung up in the energy around me.  Sometimes, it is difficult for me to just be.  I tend to take on more and then get resentful when other people step back.  I need to just work and not get hung up with other peoples stuff.  We shall see how it work tonight.

Enjoy your Saturday!

more contemplation

I was gifted the night off and I graciously accepted it.  I was thinking about a way to opt out of work but with my midwestern upbringing, I almost always work.  There is a tremendous about of guilt associated with taking time off.  I knew that I wanted the night off.  That traditionally, the Friday after Thanksgiving is not super busy. Still, I had agreed to work and would have went in had they not let me know that I had the night off.  Sometimes, you need it, though.  I know that I do.

I purchased a heating pad and am currently chilling on my couch. My lower back has been aggravated all day. The joys of getting older. A few months ago, I had a situation where I could have utilized a heating pad.  I lent mine to a friend when he was experiencing hip pain.  It is now his.  

I can give a little context to to the necessity of a heating pad.  I woke up around 3 a.m. and could not get comfortable.  I moved to my couch to try to distract the discomfort but it was not working.  My laptop is in my living room since I moved it out of my bedroom trying to have less distractions at night.  I could not sleep and thought streaming something might help. As I alternated between trying to lay on my couch and walking around my living room, I googled solutions that might help.  They recommended a heating pad, alleve and a few other options.  I put a towel in the oven to make a mock heating pad.  Thankfully, this helped!  I was able to relocate to my yoga mat, place the hot towel on my back and rest with my legs up the wall.  This was seriously the only way to get comfortable.  A few days later, I put the towel back in the oven and fell asleep.  I woke up to my smoke detector going crazy.  I would not recommend that!  It was annoying to wake up to the beeping!  I figure I should avoid a repeat at all costs.  

I am still contemplating and reflecting on life.  I wish I could travel somewhere to avoid my funk.  I know that it won't change anything.  I will still have to deal with my funk when I return.  I am considering a trip to see my friend, Sara.  I need inspiration, I think. Or a flip to my mindset.

Enjoy your night~

Wasting time, maybe?

Worrying is the misuse of imagination.

I saw that on IG this morning and it is perfect.  Especially for where I am at right now.  Yesterday was a great day.  I hiked at Matthew Winters Park, made lunch and caught up with some friends and family.  I had a conversation with someone that I have been wanting to talk to for some time.  It was okay, not fantastic by any means.  Of course, being me, I overanalyze how it went all day and all night.  I did a few shots of tequila and decided to leave a voice message which did not help.  My mind is constantly obsessing.

It was a nonstop loop until I woke up this morning.  I am thankful we spoke and now I can keep moving forward. I can't change how things went or where things are.  I can only know that I am in the right place, right now.  I can choose to move forward or stuck in the situation.  I choose to move forward.

The morning was a loss.  The couch was too inviting until I made myself get up and get outside. I am so thankful I walked City Park.  I managed to talk with my sister for almost and hour!  Typically, we chat on Saturdays bt I had a lot of mind and wanted to sort it out.  It felt fantastic to process and get a little fitness in.  

My health is a priority.  Sometimes, I get in a funk. In the last few months, I think I have been in a funk.  Putting energy into situations that are no longer serving me.  I really need to make myself and wellness a priority.  Speak softly and kindly about what I am doing or trying to achieve.  

The follow up of the IG meme was that two days from now you will realize that everything is fine and will work out.  Why is it normal to create stress by overthinking? I even considered relocating to a different state.  Ironically, my sister asked if I would move to another state today.  I have thought about it, a little.  I would move west.  She asked if I would ever move back to Kansas, lol.  Absolutely not!  That would be moving backwards.

I guess I miss travel and was confused by the current state of affairs with one of my friends.  Lack of communication will do that for.me.  It makes me crazy!  Regardless of the outcome of the conversation, I always feel better talking it out.  Yesterday, so much was left unsaid.  I always tread lightly with this person so that we can keep talking.  In all fairness to me, I should have pressed more for my own mindfulness.  Maybe next time.

I hope you have a fantastic day.  I feel healthier and thankful.

Friendsgiving

What a night!  I arrived at my friend's house.  I was uncertain as to how many people would be joining.  I knew there would be wine.  (and there was).  

There were about twelve people total.  We feasted on steak, shrimp skewers, green bean casserole, brussel sprout salad and mashed potatoes.  Of course there were appetizers and I provided dessert.  And tequila.  I think there were a few dips.  Pretzels, pickles and other snacky types of food.  The only downside was there was not enough seating. Gladly, I would have sat on the floor.  But there were two dogs that made me reconsider that decision.  I did not want to invite temptation to their pooches.  

I stood up at their island and dined on my plate of food.  I was fine and would not have wanted it any other way.  I was in close proximity to water and easy access to wine.  

We chitchatted how we all knew each other.   Most of the people worked with either Dan or Anastacia or knew someone that worked with one of them (like me.  Anastacia was kind and mentioned that she had heard a lot about me before meeting me.  It was kindness, lol.  Then, she recounted our first meeting.  A magnum wine party where we were one of the few women attending. She noted that this year she had not been invited to the limited magnum party.  I, too, was not invited.....lame!)

 I recognized a few people from an earlier luncheon.  There was one guy that had been at the previous summer lunch.  Immediately, he introduced me to his partner. It was lovely.  

I felt comfortable, at ease.  It was easy to fall into the rhythm of the night.  We had some wine and traded stories of service and driving through Kansas.  (never speed as tempting as that flat state is.  Refuse to invite a ticket is the lesson of the evening)

Truly, I enjoyed myself.  The majority of these folks worked at the airport and were younger.  I didn't envy their commute.  I knew it could be relaxing with a book but for the most part, it made for a long day.  I appreciated the inclusion and opportunity to enjoy the holiday.  Tomorrow, I will be working.  Eventually, I could enjoy the holiday but late.  

I'm enjoying a smoothie before heading out to hike.  Always the perfect way to celebrate holidays.  Sunshine, movement, oh and some bubbly!  Have a wonderful celebration!

Holidays

 Holidays are here.

I thought I had a grand plan. I had been assigned the task of bringing dessert to the friendsgiving.  I mentioned that I had little interest in traditional pumpkin or apple pie.  The hostess responded that she wasn't making turkey!  😂

At that point, I decided I could definitely go the unconventional route.  I considered my options.  There is a coffee shop with the best cookies in Denver (in my opinion) or Whole Foods was opening at 6 a.m.  Honestly, that sounded cruel and unusual. Yet, I still considered driving to Cherry Creek after my sunrise yoga class. With further thought, I knew there was a smaller market or greek restaurant.  Both of which offer great carrot cake.

So, I was leisurely this morning.  Taught a few classes and then showered.  I drove to Park Hill to pick up carrot cake. Apparently, I wasn't the only person with this thought.  I walked in, assessed the 30 people in line, and did an about face.  I just couldn't do it.  I couldn't stand in line for 25 minutes for one item. I could feel myself getting claustrophic. 

Instead, I drove to the coffee shop and looked over their baked goods.  Cookies, carrot cake and a few other options.  One person in line in front of me.  Then I could pick and choose what spoke to  me.  Carrot cake, three cookies and waldorf astoria cake (in honor my niece, Emma. I have a picture from her first birthday where she attacks a waldorf astoria cupcake.  That girl loved cake, lol).  Done! No more parking or interacting with people on the hunt for food.

I treated myself to lunch.  I had considered meeting up with one friend.  We had communicated in the morning and than she went radio silent.  Instead of fixating on that, I went to a nearby wine bar and treated myself to a salad.  She and her husband are hosting thanksgiving tomorrow and so I know she has an abundance of stuff to sort through.  However, she could have easily sent a text back.  Regardless.

It was still fairly early.  A good time to pop in and not be too distracted. Ample parking (thankfully) and plenty of seating at the bar.  Within an hour, it started to fill up.  They have a staging area where you can sit or wait for your table.  A group of 8 sat down.  Two ladies in arm chairs and six people across from them.  I watched as each of the six, grabbed their phones and started scrolling.  It was ridiculous.  And it continued.  They, individually, kept staring at their phones.  I watched for, at least, twenty minutes.  Nonstop phone distraction.

Please do yourself a favor--if you are spending time with friends or family during the next few days--be present.  Put your phone away.  Make eye contact. Have a conversation.  Have we learned nothing from the last year?  

We always want what we can't have...a year ago, people were upset about being locked down, isolated and unable to socialize.  This year, we can socialize.  So what is stopping you from being present with your loved ones?  It was interesting to watch.  The gentleman next to me had the same sentiment as I did after I made a point to say something about it.

Take time and enjoy your people!  On a side note--my godparents are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary on the 26th.  My dad brought it up on eight different occasions.  Don't worry. I sent a card.  It totally made me chuckle.

I suppose I am ranting about being present because we can never retrieve time.  So hold your people close, love your life and enjoy good food.

Urban living

 I have been semi-consistent with walking City Park.  It gives me the opportunity to listen to a podcast,get movement and vitamin D.  Multi-tasking at its best.

Today, I opted to walk to Argonaut instead of driving.  I thought I was smart in leaving my house early to head to the market.  It was not early enough!  Already, crowded parking lot and people unable to walk at a fast pace with their shopping carts.  I was a little claustrophobic.  I could not get out of the store fast enough.

To avoid another stressful situation, I chose to walk to Argonaut.  Beautiful day and I had ample choices in my podcasts listening enjoyment.  The way there was uneventful. I encountered a few people walking around the city.  

At Argonaut, I selected a bottle of tequila and a bottle of wine.  I am attending a Friendsgiving tomorrow night and wanted to bring a bottle of tequila to the meet up.  I had told my friend that I would pick out an unconventional dessert and her response was--good, I am not making turkey for the meal.  Tequila seemed like it should be in order.

At any rate, I began my return home.  I walked out of the liquor store and headed east along Colfax.  Immediately, I sensed my mistake.  There were people just hanging out on the street.  I tried to assess my best route--where to cut up to 14th.  Multiple side streets had groups of people hanging out.  I kept heading East with my head up and tried to avoid any conflict.  As I approached Downing, I saw a guy under an awning standing near a tree. His bag was up against the building.  I figured it would be better to walk outside of him instead of against the building.  I walked around the outside and realized that I had narrowly missed him urinating on the tree.  Urban living at its finest!

After that encounter, I veered up a side street and didn't care if I ran into a group of men or not.  I returned to 14th St and felt safer and more at ease.  Not to say that anyone approached me or made me feel endangered.  It just felt like there was an odd vibe on Colfax that I wanted to avoid.

The next day and half could be chaotic.  Be kind.  Try to avoid falling into road rage, grocery cart rage or unpleasantness of any kind.  Maybe bag your own groceries.  I have a new items to pick up in the next day.  Overall, I am ready to just enjoy being around friends and drinking good wine.

I am thankful I did not see the man peeing on the tree.  It did make me smile, still....urban living, lol