Friday thoughts and reflections

Good morning!  How are you spending your Friday?  It is gorgeous in Denver.  Snow is melting, energy is in motion and life is grand.  

I have been thinking about having t-shirts made.  Specifically, tank tops. I have the logo worked out and the color I would like to project. A few of my friends make shirts.  More than I actually thought would but it is a lucrative and creative venture.  I was texting Roxie and she sent me a link about a cricut.  When she sent it, I had no idea what this referred to. I have never heard of this ingenuous machine.  I still am researching what it is capable of.  It would be useful for me.  Make my own cards, tank tops, visors.  It would be awesome!

We are going to meet in the next few weeks to test it out.  I hope to watch a few videos to help with the learning curve.  I have heard there is a big learning curve.  Like anything, I suppose.  I remember beginning my journey with Canva.  It was scary, intimidating and frustrating.  I despised setting up my newsletters for fear of deleting paragraphs at a time.  Eventually, you figure it out.  It becomes more comfortable and you look forward to being creative.  Or, at least, that has been what I have found.

The seminar that I have been attending is helpful.  There are some irritations.  It can be a little over the top which is not inspiring to me.  And it can go long when I wish they would tighten it up.  I get a ton of movement in my day.  We keep taking breaks to jump around.  I could skip all of that. But there are nuggets of information that are motivating me to do more, think a little differently about this path.  It inspired me to consider making my own tank tops.  

And, I am thinking about how I can help more people by sharing the gift of yoga.  I am still working on that.  I have a class in ten minutes that I should prep for.  I like to have music in the background, ample natural light and water handy.  I had two glasses of wine last night.  I was okay with my decision. Still am.  I was naive about how much that would interrupt my sleep.  I woke up at 2:15 and was unable to have deep sleep.  I got out of bed around 5:45.  I forced myself to do my sun salutations, meditation and dry sauna rotation.  I love how my body is feeling and know that I will make some modifications to my life to have a balance of both.  Socially drinking, eating clean and continuing to strengthen and grow.  I will not sacrifice my mornng routine to deal with being hungover.  

More on this later.  I have a class to teach!

Thankful Thursday

More snow...as much as we need it, it is motivating another hibernation day.  I woke up at 4:40 this morning. So far, I have meditated, done sun salutations, did a few social media posts.  Next, I will tackle reading and study guides.  My seminar is at noon.  My ratio of productivity to distraction is about 30/70. Not great by any means.  I thought about dancing to increase energy, walking to the market *epic fail* or practicing yoga.  I have done none of the above. I did attempt to walk to a nearby market. I made it a block, looked at the roads and decided that driving to another market made more sense.  The latter market had ginger and turmeric which I needed.

I am fortunate to be able to choose to hibernate indoors. I am safe, warm and have electricity.  I just realized how negative I was sounding.  Bitching about needs that make my life better and that I take for granted.  I am blessed.

It is Thursday.  Back in my early days of blogging, I would do a thankful Thursday post.  I wonder why I stopped posting about it.  I have much to be thankful for.  I was more reflective in my throwback post.  I have been thinking more about places I have traveled recently.  I think I am nostalgic for traveling. 

I know that I am.  It is something that defines me.  I run into people and they are like--where have you traveled recently?  I see your posts and know this is essential to you.  It has been the Sahara Desert in travel for me.  It's been nonexistent outside of a handful of road trips to Santa Fe and Kansas.  Those have been great but not enough.

My trip to Florida is evolving.  My way there is pretty set in stone.  Stop in Dallas, NOLA, and then St. Petersburg.  The way back I thought about taking the northern route.  It might be nice.  Then, my friend, Melody, mentioned that she would also be in Florida visiting her brother.  I was trying to coordinate with her.  Then, she mentioned that it might be easier to fly into Florida instead of driving.  I thnk she will fly into Tampa, meet us and then I will drive her to Orlando or somewhere along the way when I head out of Florida.  Due to that, I think I will probably stop in Pensacola on the way west.  

From Pensacola, it's about 11-12 hours to Dallas.  I have my stop in Dallas situated.  Then, I am conflicted.  I could drive to Amarillo and make my way to Denver or head north and drive through Kansas.  The appeal of Kansas is that I could see the Littles!  

Weather is an issue and it would be a quick visit. Two weeks on the road will motivate a return to reset, clean and configure.  I know that I can teach remotely and I intend to.  I hope to create more opportunities to meet more people and share yoga with them.

I am listening to day #3 of the webinar.  My interest is waning today.  Multi-tasking at its best.  I have more reading to look forward to and some strategizing.  Snow days inspire either watching movies, reading or being productive.  Being productive in that I should be reading some of the books I have stacked in my apartment.

Moreover, the end of January is in four days.  What have I learned this month?  What lesson do I want to take from it?  How do I want to begin February?  That is something I am considering.  I enjoy social drinking.  I always have.  This month has illustrated that I can be more productive by waking up earlier.  I think I want to continue to be moderate. Plan days off from drinking and explore some boundaries.  

I am thankful and have more to reflect on. How can I serve others more?

Read, blog or watch tv....

Finishing up the day and torn between reading or blogging.  I have fifteen books to read, a seminar to sort through and a packet to finish to scan and return to my CPA.  Any of these activities would be beneficial.  Yet, I want to procrastinate by watching something on tv. Anything would be suitable.  

As a compromise, I chose to blog and listen to a show in the background.  I will tackle the reading tomorrow.  I have been committed to continuing my education and building skills.  There have been numerous free webinars, available.  Cheers to it being the start of the year.  For real, there are countless opportunities to expand your knowledge in January.  I signed up for two webinars that I lost interest quickly.  One took a matter of days and the other I stopped paying attention when they switched platforms.  I wasn't engaging with the group but I enjoyed reading the daily questions via e-mail.  

About five days ago, they moved their daily readings to the facebook group.  It would have been fine had simultaneous sessions not being offered within the group.  I became bored trying to sift through the information that wasn't meant for me.  

I have been faithful to the finance webinar and now this inspirational five day challenge.  I like the majority of it but as noted, earlier, I do not like the insincerity of some of it.  They keep requesting that we post live. It will move us out of our comfort zone and maybe create camaraderie for other attendees.  To me, it feels fake.  Most of the people look like they have prepped for their video--perfect hair, makeup, attire.  It feels disingenuous.  I am supposed to be expressing how I am changing or expecting from 2022 and look perfect while do it.  I do not agree with that sentiment.  

Life is messy.  People are messy, complicated, chaotic.  I considered participating this afternoon until mentioning it to Melody.  Her response when I mentioned who is conducting the seminar was that this person was a rah rah cheerleader.  In many ways, she is right.  Then I disclosed that I was irritated by some of the fakeness of it.  I noted that I was taking the parts that I found relevant to what I am looking for.  In that moment, I knew that I didn't want to participate via video.  Instead, I could reflect on it here.

My old version of me (prior to now) was that I have been a student of life.  Following the rules for the most part while walking on the unconventional path.  It has served me well until now.  Now, I want to thrive not just exist.  I want to push boundaries and have no regrets. Not regretting taking trips, eating whatever I want, telling people they are important to me or that I love them.  I am tired to doing what is considered "right".  There are no guarantees in life.  Only regrets.

I am sure I could delve deeper to explain why I want more from life.  Better yet, why I expect more from life.  I don't want to look back and think--why didn't I do something?  Why was I afraid to try something out?  Or risk something?  Why did it feel safer to remain in the comfort zone?  I don't want to just be.  I want to thrive.

On that note, I will conclude this for now.  I want to get a good night of sleep and be refreshed and productive for the morning.  I am thankful for today, my health, this month and upcoming opportunities.  I see a trip to Chicago in my future.  It is time to return and explore more of the city and food scene. 

Hump Day

Waking up to snow is a mixed bag for me.  I know that we need the moisture but I still don't embrace it. I fear what this means for spring and summer. It could be awful.  If it is a summer of heat, I will be utilizing my a/c unit in spite of what my landlord thinks.  People cannot sleep when it is triple digits.  It is unpleasant!

The sun inspires me to attempt to go outside.  Yesterday was pure hibernation.  I didn't put in my contacts.  I did not feel like it. My day was productive.  Lots of reading, some writing, listening to inspiring webinars and doing homework from the seminar.  They wanted us to go online, live, and answer a few questions.  I decided to try it out and the only criteria I wanted was my metal butterfly in the shot.  I was unconcerned about having my hair styled, make up on or an attractive outfit.  I felt genuine doing it, at all.

Today, I looked through some of the videos.  These people looked like they took time to glam up for their live shot.  I thought this was about being present, authentic and real.  It almost feels like some people are hoping to connect without utilizing an online dating service.  I don't feel like this is an exaggeration. I am going to continue what feels right to me and ignore the bells and whistles of some of it.  

The takeaway from the initial day is that I truly want to do be doing more in my life.  Thriving, not existing.  What this means is doing more and being unconcerned with how it will happen.  I look back on the last two years and am regretful that I did not choose to travel more.  I had the time.  I had the finances.  I withered at home in fear of things I didn't know or understand.  This year, I am not doing that.

Road trip next month. It will be an epic meet up full of health, vermouth and tasting life.  I think I can find a better rental car rate which will free up some stress to focus on enjoyment.  This month will fly by and I will be heading east before I know it.

Sober January is concluding. What have I learned?  That is something I can achieve and feel good about. I feel better, physically and mentally--lots of clarity.  Cooking at home is developing with more ease.  I am more creative with my smoothies.  This morning I tried blueberry, banana, spinach, oats, oat milk, cinnamon and maca.  Filling and delicious.  My life is good and I can make improvements in my mindset but for the most part, I have been fortunate.  I am grateful for all of my experiences that have shaped and molded me into who I am now.  Maybe getting glammed up isn't for me.  Nor am I looking at the group as a way to find a relationship. Truly, I want to see if it will provide tools for shifting my outlook on life.  Take it for what it is and leave the rest alone.

Take five minutes and reflect on where you are in your journey.  Think about one way to change your current situation.  Meditate on it.  Then, do it.

Happy Hump Day.  May you find peace and tranquility.🙏

Snow Day

Snowy day inspires doing nothing.  Maybe reading.  Definitely not venturing outside.  

It isn't terrible, it just looks cold and unappealing for me.  I woke up at 5:40, naturally, and began my day.  20 sun salutations, 35 minutes in the infrared sauna and reflection.  I could have spent time, meditating, and I should have.  I was not feeling it this morning. I was distracted by things I hope to accomplish today.

I cleaned my house and tried to map out my day.  I feel that I go, in and out, of planning the evening before. I should make it a habit.  It would help with productivity.  Instead of wasting time on figuring out what tasks I should focus on, I would have a to-do list set up.  Maybe I will work on that tonight.

Somehow, I did re-correct and I have had a productive morning.  Read the psychology of money book, currently blogging and will read more of the finances outline afterwards.  

I may or may not be teaching this afternoon.  My sister has to run an errand in another town and is uncertain on her timing.  Plus, her daughter now has soccer practice which is conflicting with our yoga sessions.  I applaud my niece on being active and support it, obviously.  My other client has been under the weather and a little vague on what she is looking for.  I am not freaking out about it.  I am letting things happen and staying centered.

I suppose it helps that I have been listening to positive podcasts, life coaches and entrepreneurs.  I stumbled across a free offering with a huge motivator that I am excited to tune into.  I found it yesterday on social media and they want us to introduce ourselves to the the group.  After reading some of the stories, I do not know how beneficial this is going to be for me.  I will listen and glean insights but I do not want to parade my dirty laundry to a ton of people that I do not know.  It isn't just that.  Some of the most challenging things that I have went through are in the past. I do not want to dredge them up.  A few of the stories are full of trauma and hardship.  I feel bad for these situations but I am not in that mindset.  I am hoping to build on my foundation and keep moving forward.  Returning to trauma feels counterproductive.  Maybe I am being overly critical of this.  I don't know.  

I think I have 15-20 books that I need to read.  They are resting on my coffee table, entry table and dresser. Constant reminders that I do have something to do outside of streaming something on my laptop.  I am pretty skilled at that distraction, lol.

My trip to Florida is in a month.  It has flown by.  I plan on teaching remotely. I need to confer with a few of my clients that I see in person to see if that is something they are interested in.  I think it is beneficial to stick to the routine.  2022 is all about routine, habits and growth as a result.  

I need to research the opportunities for paddle boarding in St. Petersburg. I know they offer it and wine sails. Those are always a legit way to enjoy the sunset, water and wine.  

I made stirfry the other night.  It was delicious.  I think paella should be manageable. However, it might be disastrous or a colossal failure.  I will invest in extra vermouth to distract.

Many opportunities and plans to figure out.  January will conclude with reflection and insights into how to proceed with the remainder of the year.

Monday Motivation

 Do Epic Shit!

That is my message this Monday.  Do Epic Shit!  For me, it means reflecting on the habits I am creating and seeing how they are benefitting me.  As noted, I wanted to thrive this year, not just survive.  I had to reassess things I do, daily, and do something different.  I cannot expect different results if I continue to do the same things.  I cannot only think about having a different reality.  

And speaking of thinking....if I do not believe I can actually achieve something more than likely I won't.  I am reading books on finance, investing, psychology of money and loosely, considering all things entrepreneurial.  All of these ideas return to mindset.  It is nuts.  I can think I am positive or that I have a healthy outlook on money and abundance.  Yet, realistically, there are doubts ingrained in me.  They create blockages in actually having abundance flow to me effortlessly.

Knowing this, I have attempted to alter my age old beliefs.  Slowly, I think it is changing.  This month, I have been waking up naturally and immediately doing sun salutations.  I started with ten and have increased to 20.  After my breathwork and movement, I meditate while using my infrared dry sauna for thirty to thirty-five minutes.  This is setting the tone for how I approach the day.  Productivity is leading to more opportunities to achieve more.  Small changes lead to epic shit!

I hope you are able to tweak your daily routine.  Add a small change and see where it leads you.  More movement, changing your mindset, journaling, abundance, more travel, etc.  How can you change up your routine and acquire new results?

We all create our own personal situation.  We plant seeds, water them and then seem surprised when we end up with what we wanted.  I wanted to do my own thing.  I have been working towards this slowly distancing myself from the comforts of what I know.  I have been trying to do more than exist for awhile.

Get outside, get some movement and enjoy basking in the sun.  This is a new day and opportunity to shine.  Happy Monday Motivation!🙏

Sunday activities

Sundays are always impulsive.  Sometimes, I try to make a plan and stick to it.  Rarely does it happen.  Today was better than normal.  I scheduled two classes--one in the morning and one in the afternoon.  I sent out the zoom links and prepared the classes. My friend, Andrea, is moving back to North Carolina.  The last two Sundays we have met for a walk around City Park.  Andrea is consistent with her commitments and since I know she is moving back home, I couldn't rain check this commitment.

Another friend reached out to see if I would be interested in walking today.  I calculated the time between classes, necessary tasks/chores and offered to meet Janna after 3 pm, like 3:30. I didn't want to walk when it was dark and 3:30 seemed like a good time.  I forgot to factor in the playoff games.  Immediately, she responded that she would prefer meeting at 3.  We compromised and met at 3:15. I rushed to meet her following my afternoon class.  Everything was going well until I hit downtown.  Traffic jammed up as an ambulance was trying to navigate the corridor.  I was patient and figured if I was a few minutes late it wouldn't be the end of the world.

I arrived.  There were many people at Sloan's Lake this afternoon.  Janna brought her dog, Bodhi, and he kept a great pace.  It's rare to walk with a friend and their dog and keep up a brisk pace.  Especially male dogs.  Bodhi was great!

We walked fast. I think she was concerned about missing any of the game.  I understand it.  I do.  I mean, I am the same way when it comes to college basketball.  I want to see every second of the game!

When we returned to our cars, I had the urge to urinate.  I knew there were porta potties near the parking lot from past experience.  Apparently, they had been taken out.  Still they have a brick and mortar that had bathrooms.  I told Janna goodbye and ran over to the building.  Locked.  Of course!  

Instead of freaking out, I repeated (in my mind) that I was okay and would make it home.  I left Sloan's Lake and headed back downtown to head east to my house.  Everything was going well.  I managed to get around the idiots who do not know how to drive in a city. I was about a mile from my house on 14th St. when this guy decided to stop in the left lane.  I almost lost my mind!  Infuriating.  I had to pee and wanted to hit this guy for his lack of consideration for other drivers.  Namely, me!

I did make it home without incident.  Thankfully.  As noted, recently, maybe yesterday, I feel conflicted about cooking at home or relying on take out.  Today, I opted for utilizing leftover rice and creating a new dish.  Vegetable fried rice.  Delicious.  I think this is now in the rotation of what I enjoy to eat.

One final week of January.  I haven't struggled until thinking about being finished with it.  Today, for example, I thought, maybe I could have a glass of wine since originally my goal was to conclude sober January today.  After some reconsideration, I decided to stay the course.  I am enjoying the sleep and am trying to extend my habits.  I must read this week.  I have been lackluster in my abilities to finish tasks when it comes to learning.  There are 15 books on my coffee table.  I need to actually read them to create space in my house.

More tasks for next week.  I figure it will all work out!  Happy Sunday!

sober January, productivity and adulting...is it working?

This month is flying by....my original plan was to do soberish January.  I figured three weeks was more than enough time to commemorate this practice.  I didn't think that I wanted to do the entire month and didn't want to commit to it in fear that I would falter and drink wine.  Imagine my surprise where after one week, I wanted to extend it through January.  I am still shocked, lol.

But, I have been more capable and productive.  Setting goals and to-do lists and completing them with few distractions.  I can be social.  I enjoy meeting friends and catching up.  My friend, Roxanne, and I always have the best of intentions.  Meet for yoga or a walk and then treat ourselves to wine lunch.  I cannot tell you how many times we have met for a "walk" and skipped it to enjoy a glass of wine or three.  I am pretty consistent about yoga dates.  It behooves me to be consistent and follow through.  Sometimes, I am tempted to skip teaching but I know that no one will care about my business as much as me.  I must take responsibility for my decisions.  It is one thing to skip a walk, and another, to postpone teaching.

Yet, I wanted more this year and I cannot have different results if I never move outside of my comfort zone.  I cannot expect to continue learning, upgrading my skills and knowledge if I never read or research.  I cannot only socialize and expect things to change.  I have been making small steps to increase the odds of a year of thriving.

This year is all about growth.  I want to do more and I expect more of myself.  I am reading a book about trading and recognize that the first step is changing my mindset.  I can read all I want.  And, I am.  Yet, if I look at trading as throwing away money I am creating a headache for myself.  It is goes back to childhood and changing those beliefs is challenging.  I am interested in trading.  I see how it could be addictive and overwhelming.  The book suggests being able to make smart decisions.  Not get cocky and lazy.  I think I need to read more and get my mindset correct before beginning.

Adulting has also been a focus for January.  Annual optometry exam, upcoming dental visit and I added acupuncture to the mix.  Two of the three appointments have been handled and I have the dentist to look forward to at the end of the month.  Looking forward to, not dreading.  Acupuncture was great.  I revisited a former DOM that has always been a wealth of knowledge.  He is well versed in chinese medicine and I trust him. Looking back on the intake (and it is super intrusive) I was sort of surprised at how forthcoming I was as to why I was there.  It worked in my favor as he knew exactly what needed to be done and thanked me for my honesty.  Why hedge around uncomfortable conversations when it comes to your health?

Today, I had lunch at one of my former jobs.  I went in to say goodbye to a former colleague. It was lovely.  Saw a few customers that I use to wait on and a few friends.  I made sure to finish up in a timely manner so that I could return in time to teach a class at 2 pm. Sober January does have its benefits.  My departure from this place was much easier than normal.  Typically, I start my departure and leave an hour plus later.  

It is still easy to procrastinate and rely on take out.  I am embarrassed by how much I prefer ordering take out to cooking when I feel uninspired.  I needed to purchase some goods today but it was snowing and I decided to drive home and prep for my yoga class instead of dealing with the light dusting.  I can always find reasons to avoid driving in the snow.

I forgive myself for this lazy conclusion to the day.  I started off strong.  I will improve tomorrow and do better.  More reading, more community building and some socializing.  Enjoy your night!

5 weeks

I will be in Florida in five weeks. I know it will be here sooner than I am ready for...isn't that always how it works?  I have a few things arranged--rental car, airbnb in NOLA, place to stay in Dallas.  I am undecided if I will attempt the northern route to return to Colorado. It is shorter which I like but the potential of shitty weather looms.  I will not drive through Kansas if there is a possibility of sleet or snow.  It is not doable for me.  My older sister visited me in Denver once and left a little later than they originally thought.  The typical 8 hour trip turned into 17 hours, I think.  Memorable and not something that I want to repeat.

I spoke to Shari last night and she mentioned a few activities that interest her.  Paddle boarding, wine sail, body scrub. I love all of these things and I proposed yoga while paddle boarding and reflexology.  I am uncertain about our options for a body scrub. I texted Sara with the task of researching that.  I know paddle boarding is available and wine sails.  Both activities will happen.  

Each year, we continue to add another layer to our celebration. It began with celebrating Brian while feasting on incredible food. Then, we started inviting friends of mine in respective cities to join us for a memory or happy hour. This continued until Jonny Vegas hijacked our trip in Austin.  He invited himself to our celebration. Found the airbnb and set up an itinerary of bars to find.  From that trip, it opened up and we have met friends, new people and yoga.  Southeast Asia allowed us to do a ton of self-care.  I think we had 18 massages within our trip.  

Our last big adventure, Barcelona, incorporated another wine sail but this one was unique.  Our captain was insightful and reflective. Our conversation with him planted seeds for me.  It was amazing to meet this man who chose an alternative path to what people believe is the right way to live.

I am so excited for this trip.  I might regret the decision to drive to Florida while I am in the middle of it.  I don't know. I welcome that regret.  I know the benefit of this decision.  I might decide to return through Nashville.  Perhaps find some hot chicken.

It is always preferable to have options.  

Wednesday musings

Happy Wednesday!  I love the midway point in the week.  Today is gloomy and inspires ramen or pho.  I might venture out to fulfill that need.  There is a great ramen spot nearby and pho is a quick drive away.  I am on the fence with it.  Should I be financially responsible or give in to my wants?

This month is slower at the restaurant.  It is truly that way for many industries.  People do sober January (as I am doing), begin resolutions, etc.  A perfect time to reflect and plan.  As noted, I joined a few groups hoping to journal more.  One was a complete dud.  I stopped listening to the instruction on day number two and rarely peruse the shared stories.  It just didn't feel like what I was looking for at this point.

The money mindset is sparking something inside me.  I participated yesterday and may today.  I hope other people are sharing. The host is offering simultaneous sessions which is a little confusing. Most of the current posting reflect the group that is further along in the process.  I wrote about unexpected money yesterday and received a good response. It sort of surprised me but I will go with it. Today, she suggests writing about being able to contribute to fundraisers or things you are passionate about and to be thankful that you are able to do it.  

In the last year, I have been able to contribute to a few fundraisers that benefit causes that are close to my heart.  I am hoping to continue that trend in 2022.  My friend, Roxanne, has a birthday on Friday and she mentioned how she would prefer donations to Big Bones or a few other rescues as opposed to receiving gifts.  I like that spirit of sharing and will honor her wishes.  

I am grateful to give back.  Especially to foundations that I believe in. Blue Bench, Planned Parenthood, etc.  My plan is to make a donation, monthly, this year. I have the ability to re-prioritize some of my financial decisions. I definitely could minimize some of my dining out I am learning. This month has shown me that if nothing else.

Perhaps, I will reflect more on being thankful to use my money for other things.  I am very thankful for this abundance.

ramblings

Gloomy and productive day.   I tried the experiment of turning everything off and being in bed by 10 pm.  I woke up at 3:30, a little confused. I knew that I had overslept but could not place what time it was.  Eventually, I fell back asleep and made myself get up around 6:40.  Better effort but still I hope to improve.

I did my sun salutations (yay!) and finished in the infrared dry sauna.  It is something that I have been enjoying daily.  It is helping my overall skin but I am not seeing the detoxing effects it claims. Maybe I don't stay in it long enough.  And, I wish it were more intense heat.  80 degrees the entire time.  

My annual eye appointment was this morning.  I considered changing optometrists since my guy retired.  I had seen this optometrist since 2003.  A little kooky but I liked him.  I was saddened by the information that he retired when the pandemic started.  For about a year and a half, prior, he had been semi-tired.  Basically, he wasn't taking any new clients on which didn't affect me.  After considering my options, I chose to check out their new guy.  Mostly, because they have everything I have ever done on file.  I wouldn't have to re-introduce myself too much.   The exam went well--shorter than I remembered.  And, no major changes with my eye sight.  I am surprised.  I keep thinking they are going to demand that I purchase readers.  Not yet, lol.  The former eye doctor kept scaring me by telling me that when I get to this age....I guess all of the fish oil, vitamin c and d that I take has helped me immensely. The optometrist always harped about how beneficial these supplements are for eyesight.  He was right.

It is gloomy and yuck outside.  Still, I hope to get a walk in before teaching a few afternoon classes.  Reading, following up with the finance seminar and being present today.   Bring thankful for what I have and the life I have created.  I have not been participating much in the money mindset group until today. The thankfulness reminder inspired me to share a recent tale of my life.  Many people have liked the post (shockingly) and then someone else shared a story of waking up with the knowledge that she is broke. Cannot pay rent and was uncertain to where her money went. Some other person commented that the first lady should stop complaining because she has a roof over her head. Insinuated you should be happy for what you have and stop bitching about what you don't.  Seemed a little harsh and a reminder that this is why I do not typically share on platforms.  

working on habits

Productive day and easy going night.  I plan on being in bed by 10 pm.  The last few days, I have went to bed later and I am struggling to be up by 6 a.m.  That is my happy medium. If I wake up after 7, I feel rushed. I skipped my sun salutations this morning.  My first yoga class was at 9 am and I wanted to have coffee, make my smoothie, shower and be ready to go.  Doing the salutations would extend my needs and decrease opportunity to enjoy my smoothie.  I made sure to do the majority of the class with my student this morning.  Typically, I do a few salutations and observe the student.  When I started teaching virtually, I did every sun salutation.  Eventually, it became too much.

Returning to the main idea, being in bed at an earlier hour. It was inspired from the book I am reading about forming habits. I want to try it out and see if I can wake up, naturally, at an earlier hour.  That way, I can see how productive I can be.  Sun salutations, meditation, infrared dry sauna--all before 7 a.m.  

In addition, I am shutting down my phone, earlier and earlier, nightly.  It seems to help limit distractions.  I want to try out new things and see how they help me.  The best outcome of sober January is forming new habits, trying out new things and productivity overall.  I have been spending more time planning for the future.  I know that I will jump off the sober wagon on 2/2/2022.  How can anyone pass up that opportunity to celebrate the special day?  I asked Roxie to meet for lunch or happy hour to celebrate her birthday.  Her birthday is this week and since it is still in January, I am not imbibing.

After celebrating 2/2/2022, I think I will moderate my socializing.  I am deciding if I want to take weeks off and only enjoy on the weekends or some other sort of arrangement.  Of course, the end of February, I will be in Florida with Sara Jo and Shari.  I will be enjoying wine and a good amount of it.  We are making paella and other tapas to commemorate Barcelona.  In 2020, pre-Pandemic, I traveled to Santa Fe in January and then Barcelona in February.  That is the last time that I have flown.  I am just not that interested in flying right now.

Sara Jo and I spoke yesterday and she asked me--wouldn't it be cheaper to fly to Tampa?  Yes, it would.  But, I like the idea of taking time for myself to see the country.  I will teach remotely and maybe take classes while in Nola or Florida.  I want some sort of adventure!  

2022 will all be about the road trip.  Florida in March, Kansas in June and California in October.  I believe there will be a few trips to Santa Fe (there always are) and maybe an unknown trip.  Who knows?  This is a new year.  I am open to anything.

Enjoy your night!  I hope you have a wonderful night of sleep.

Happy Monday!

Every Monday, I post about motivation on a few platforms of social media. I do not know why I have not incorporated this into my blog.  I could expand my thoughts on the motivational aspect.  I try to keep my posts on other platforms consise so that people do not lose interest.  But, here, I could explore more of the topic if I wanted.

Hmmm....a little bit of a quandary.  My post today was about incorporating combinations to attempt exercises you do not enjoy.   Or, in my case, tend to avoid.  Yes, I am human and not everything is rainbows and sunshine all of the time. In terms of exercises I tend to avoid--lunges, for instance, by adding them to a combination, I convince myself it is manageable. I don't know how to explain it outside of being honest.  The minute Courtney instructs a lunge in TRX straps, my legs seize up.  I feel a flare up coming on which is completely unrealistic.  But, I convince myself that we should modify or change the task.  It does happen frequently.

I can remain in my comfort zone, easily.  And, then I wonder why I am not making strides in how I feel or look?  Because I am not challenging myself.  This year, I want to change that.

Combinations are a good solution.  They aid in performing more reps and feeling more comfortable.  Or, I tell myself that, lol.  Getting any movement is better than none. It all depends on what you are trying to achieve or what habit your are trying to create.  As earlier noted, I am hoping to move out of my comfort zone. I want to see progress on my journey.  I am fine with maintaining where I am at but I want more. I want to THRIVE, not only exist.

My trip to Florida is a prime example.  Of course, it would be easier to fly to Tampa, spend five days and return. I remained in the comfort of my home for the last two years.  I do not want to hibernate any longer. 

I am ready to explore more of what is out there.  Yes, this will be a long road trip.  I might really feel overwhelmed on the way back. Yet, it is providing opportnity to see friends whom I have not seen in a few years.  I arranged to see Hailey and her family on the way out and think I will see another friend on the way back.  Having a vehicle available while in Florida ensures meetups, too.  Melody may be in the area at the same time and I have a few former colleagues who now reside in Florida.  It would be a hoot to see all of them!

Be kind today and make it great!

Sunday musings

Happy Sunday!  I am becoming more adept at meal prepping and plotting out my week. I honestly cannot ever remember I time I have done this.  There has never been a reason to. I only had to fend for myself and working in restaurants minimizes groceries.  Some restaurants provide staff meals (always the best option and in theory, it does hold true.  Until you realize that some of the meals are less than desireable. Not naming names.  I will only say hot dogs were offered to me on a weekly basis at one job. And no, we did not offer this an option on the menu).  Or, discounted meals might be offered.  There is always some way to be fed while working in a restaurant.

I am reliant on take out.  Cooking for one is not simple and I do not love leftovers.  I do not mind kitchari and will eat that for a few meals.  This week, I am trying a different approach.  One that will help with accountability and decreasing the likelihood of me ordering take out.  I have already penciled in lunch dates or dinner opportunities.  There is another sober sushi date this week.  And, I am hoping to attend a celebration of life where having lunch afterwards makes sense.  Feeling domestic, I wrote up a list for groceries and meals.  We shall see how this plays out.  Do I stick with the schedule or deviate?  

Sober January has been fantastic.  I worked last night and managed to not be tempted to join in with the others.  They were enjoying Aperol Spritz and there were new wines to sample.  I abstained.  I could not justify breaking my promise to myself to see this through.  Sleep quality has improved and my productivity is off the chart.  I think day number 10 the hyper aspect turned on. I have energy that I did not know was possible.😜

I had one class this afternoon.  A slowdown Sunday which began over a year ago and has steadily gained momentum. It is a class that I look forward to and enjoy participating. Slow, marinating in poses and restorative.  Delicious.  

Slowly making progress on my upcoming road trip.  I spoke to Hailey about the possibility of seeing her and the family when I drive through.  She was gracious, generous, kind.  Made me an offer I couldn't refuse.  New Orleans is handled on the way to Florida and I set up the rental car--I think.  If there is a better rate, I may cancel my current reservation to seek out a better option.  

I am on the fence if I want to drive from NOLA to St. Petersburg or stop somewhere along the way.  Sara and I spoke today (finally) and I mentioned my quandary.  I could stop, somewhere, or drive and stay with her.  My concern is that she works Fridays. I would arrive later than anticipated so if she took the day off, it would be wasted on me.  Then, I reconsidered.  I could drive straight through and spend time with her solo which I like that prospect.  I know the trip will be epic.  Celebrations with Shari always are.  We have created amazing memories to reflect on and I know that this trip will be no different.

My experience with the webinars and other groups has been meh.  Consistently, I attended the finance webinar. The other group is just not my thing.  I am uninterested in emotionally dumping in a group where I do not know anyone. Maybe the anonymity factor should encourage comfort.  However, it leaves me cold.  Reading through other people's emotional experiences is not something that I want to consider or reflect on.  I should have researched what I was getting myself into.  

The finance webinar has a course that I am considering.  It is spendy but it will keep me honest with continuing. I will not burn out due to lack of motivation.  The cost of the course will motivate commitment.  It is the truth.  When you see the value in something, you remain invested in it.

New year.  New habits.  New desires.  Happy 2022!

some frustrations associated with Saturday yoga

I love the idea of teaching yoga at a local bar.  And, the guy that agreed to open up for us is a sweet man.  He is kind, patient, considerate, younger.  The downside to him is that because he is young, he's social and enjoys going out on the weekends. He isn't a morning person which is what is required to host morning yoga.

This is the second time it's happened where I am unable to contact him.  I waited outside, texted before I headed over and than I called.  I don't want to hassle him but I sort of needed to know his ETA and so I called him a second time.  No answer.  At this point, I instruct one of my clients to drive over to my house and I call Lindsay to see if she is planning on attending.  I direct her to my house and head back to frantically, rearrange my living room, remove any items that are unnecessary and clean up. It was chaos.  Actually, I am overreacting.  It wasn't that bad.  I cleaned my house yesterday to prepare if this happened. 

We settled in and I started the zoom link.  We started with three people and about fifteen minutes later someone else joined my zoom class.  It was great!  I wanted to make sure that everyone felt important.  I was concerned about the late arrivals because two of them were new to yoga.  I didn't change my class or the routine to accommodate them since I planned the class at a power level.  And, their daughter also teaches yoga and so I knew she would be able to modify for them as needed. 

It worked for the most part.  We went a little slow.  Challenging class and I am starting to push the envelope a little. More core is added and strengthening.  I want to push myself out of the comfort zone and I am sharing that with my clients.  Why do we typically stay within the comfort zone?  It is in every facet of life, too.  We stay with what we know even if it isn't good. Or, staying with the devil you know, right?

Afterwards, the Goddess and I had coffee and caught up.  It had been too long.  I wanted to know how her holidays were and what the next few months looked like for her.  She has a lot to plan and prepare for which is exciting.

I feel that a bunch of people in my corner are making strides.  My sister is arranging a vow renewal.  My clients in California are extending their home and planning a wedding party in October.  I see some road trips in my future as a result, lol.

I believe I was planting seeds the last two years of what I was hoping to achieve and evolve in my own life.  I am seeing some of the sprouts and opportunities as a result. It is crazy that if you believe, wholeheartedly, in something, you can make it happen.  Maybe not today, or tomorrow, but with patience and belief, things can happen.  Things do happen.  

I leave today with a grateful heart.  I woke up, stretched my body, and got a little vitamin D. It is a beautiful day outside. Cheers to Saturday.  

Productive day

Day thirteen of Sober January.  I taught four classes today, attended a webinar, read part of my finance book and dropped off some fliers for Saturday morning yoga.  My last class this afternoon, I asked the ladies what their plans were for the night.  Melody was cooking sweet potatoes, Melanie was contemplating a glass of wine (stressful week), Jasmin was planning on making dinner and I was deciding if I wanted to cook or order take out.

Responsibly, I should have prepared my own dinner.  I had supplies and ample vegetables.  I had restocked my pantry and had options.  Yet, I did not feel like being productive.  

I could walk across the street to the Thai place.  Or there is an Italian spot four blocks away.  I perused their menu but was unwilling to order something that I could make myself.  That limited some of my options. I didn't want to order delivery since they have a minimum and then add on service fees, driver's fee and tip.  I considered walking over but it is 25 degrees outside.  I returned to the Thai spot but I order from there frequently and felt uninspired.  Plus, I was afraid that they would pour me a glass of wine since that is my habit when I pick up my take out.

There is a Chinese restaurant that has been there for years.  I believe, Brian and I ordered take out from them in 2005.  Well renowned spot with a great reputation.  Ironically, it is four blocks from my house and I never order from them.  Tonight I called them, made a delivery order and it arrived the old fashioned way.  No third party apps with additional fees to arrange delivery.  It was amazing!  The pad thai was great.   I think this will be thrown into my rotation of take out.  

I feel a little guilty about ordering take out.  I had the time.  Just no desire.  Tomorrow, I intend to have a fantastic yoga class, followed by coffee with the Goddess and then doing some admin stuff.  I have to get that squared away. I managed to print out the necessary spreadsheets so that I can create one to represent last year.  It is true what they say---tell yourself you have 30 days to clean your house and it takes thirty days.  Give yourself and an hour and you will do it within an hour.  Setting benchmarks guarantees that I will address the task in some timely manner.

I have been more productive this month.  I have energy out the yang, lol.  Not that I do not have energy when I drink wine.  I do.  I guess because I am not being social, I have more time to be efficient, set goals and form new habits.  The length of my sober January went from three weeks to four.  I know I can do it and I want to.  In the last month, I have heard of three acquaintances who struggle with alcoholism.  One of them died.  One almost died.  Actually, they all had severe responses to the amount of abuse their bodies have handled in their lives.  Two of them are near my age and one is younger.  It made me pause to reflect on my choices.  And affirmed that sober January was a smart way to begin the year.

Enjoy your night and start to the weekend.  Tomorrow is a new day--full of opportunities and good decisions.  Make it a great day!

Fun memory associated with money

In 2012 or 13 (I think), my friend, Christina and I chose to meet for Valentine's Day.  Her man was out of town.  We wanted to meet for dinner and celebrate our friendship.  We were not too concerned about the fact that it was V Day.  

There was this great trendy Vietnamese restaurant in Phoenix.  Of course, it was busy but we were able to sit barside.  Neither of us were looking glamorous.  I think I was wearing yoga pants and a tank top.  Christina and I met because she was one of my supplier representative friends.  We had mutual friends from the industry and both of us loved yoga.  We had attended several classes together.

We each order a prosecco and share lettuce wraps and a few other items.  The place was packed and we were seated next to this couple that seemed a little off.  The woman had huge hair.  We joked that they must be from Texas. Her hair was from the 80's and we talked about it a few times while enjoying our meal.  

We each order another prosecco.  By no means were we going all out.  Just enjoying our version of V Day.  The couple next to us eventually leaves.   We ask for our check and the bartender informs us that our check had been taken care of--the big hair couple bought our dinner to pay it forward.  And it wasn't like we were at Starbucks.  It wasn't a $30 endeavor, lol.

I felt bad for making such a fuss over her hair.  It was a lovely gesture and appreciated.  A reminder that you never know the situation of people.  You can think you know based on shallow, superficial judgments. Affirming being kind, always.  And having our meal paid forward was pretty great when I think about Valentine's Day.  Normally, I shirk away from that day.  Or, I end up working.

What is a fun memory for you where something was paid for unexpectedly?  Or you enjoyed an experience that you didn't pay for?  It is fun to think about.  I have been fortunate in my life to enjoy.

Too many groups, not enough time (or interest)

I think I got a little too excited about signing up for things. The webinar.  Goddess anti-resolution training and another money mindset challenge. The latter two encourage signing up for their social media groups to share your insight.  Day number one was fine and I was excited!

Day two, well, I think I bit off more than I can chew.  The webinar is something I have faithfully attended.  This morning I gave into distraction and cut out early.  The topic was dealing with debt which did not really interest me.  I am looking forward to the session tomorrow.  They are discussing investing and trading.  I have enjoyed the seminar.  She has shared graphs, worksheets and other valuable information.  The anti-resolution training seemed like a good idea.  The first day was insightful and a great opportunity for me to reflect.  Today was less enticing to me.  I joined the group to see how other people were reacting and it does not feel like the right fit for me.  Maybe I will give it another day or two.  I don't know what I thought it would be or why I am not that into it.  

The final mindset group I looked into is more my speed in terms of sharing but I don't know if it is too simplistic.  Again, I don't know.  Maybe I should have focused on the webinar and let everything else go.  I have teaching, planning and other admin stuff to attend to.  I didn't feel that motivated to do the journal entries this afternoon. 

Instead, I listened to a recording of a reading I had done in September.  Now and again, I choose to have a reading done based on my chart.  I have a friend who is a medium in Santa Fe.  She did a reading for me in 2015 after I met her while mistakenly attending her yoga class.  Long story.

This reading was positive as she discussed all of the retrogrades.  She told me I should seek out my purpose and share it with others.  We talked about communication and taking space for myself to work on me.  Ironically, that is the space I have been in since September.  Working on myself.  

In considering the anti-resolution group, I am a combination of all of those things.  I fight, flee, freeze and fawn.  Probably freeze the most.  I think this applies to everyone. Based on the situation, we respond to what the situation needs. They were promoting compassion today which is kind and delving more into the topic.  I sort of lost interest.

Tomorrow is a big day!  Multiple classes, final day of the seminar, admin stuff, phone calls and continuing my month of sobriety.  It has been a great time to rehydrate, replenish and reflect.

New kicks

How awesome is it to put on a new pair of shoes?  I spend money on food, wine and experiences. I have no issue with these desires.  

In terms of shopping, I tend to seek out consignment stores.  It can be awesome or a dud of an adventure.  I have found amazing dresses at a shop in Santa Fe.  In the last year, that shop was closed for a big portion due to the pandemic and when it did reopen, the seasonal clothes were not what I was interested in.

I spend money on shoes, too.  I receive notifications from Sierra Trading Post with updates on their attire.  I look, sometimes.  The other day, I was lured in. They had multiple available Saucony's in my size which is rare.  With no hesitation, I purchased and shoes.  Then, to avoid shipping costs, of course, you must add on to the order.  I love socks!  Wool socks to be precise.  I remember, as a kid, opening christmas presents and being dismayed by the abundance of socks, bras and panties.  Every year, without fail, these items were part of my gifts.  I hated it!

Now, I love buying new socks and panties.  The small things in life, lol.  My package arrived yesterday.  New sneakers and six pairs of socks.  I am so thankful!

I dreamt of my tendencies to isolate last night.  I know that I must have a better, more balanced reaction to danger and/or uncomfortable stimuli.  I do not want to be controlling, but maybe, more assertive. Does that make sense?  

Moreover, I have been thinking about my money mindset.  Truly, I am ready to be more than content.  I want to be experiencing more of life.  This year, I am going to do more and figure it out along the way.  Stop being boxed in by what I should be doing.

I woke up at 5:15. I will be preparing for my early morning tomorrow.  The seminar begins at 5 am. Will I actually wake up in time to participate???

The small things are what I am most grateful for--new shoes, clean water, opportunity to focus on myself. 2022 is going to be a great year!

Freeze, Flight, Fight or fawn

Sober January continues.  As it continues, I find myself drawn to learning, reflecting, assessing. I signed up for a wealth building seminar, a money mindset of abundance journaling and an energetic workshop.  Finding a balance of control and softness.  I woke up today with a laundry list of chores.  Multiple classes, seminar, meditation, facial, new smoothie and then a walk with Roxie.  It was a wonderful way to start my day.  I liked having a full day.

The energy seminar is interesting.  Innovative way to assess how I react to stimuli when I am in a situation of danger.  I do not know that I have ever considered this.  Do I fight?  Flee?  Freeze or fawn?  Or, simply put, how I have been reacting in the last two years.  How have I kept myself emotionally safe?

Controller, distractor, isolator or pleaser?  If I can control everything, I will be okay. If everyone would just do it right. Also known as a fight response.  Maybe sometimes, I sink into this arena of control  I do like everything to go smoothly.  Yet, in times of severe danger, I am not trying to control anything.  Distractor as a strategy puts attention elsewhere or jumping from thing to thing.  They are constantly moving away from something.  This sense of fleeing.  I see myself doing this to some degree.  Yet, it is not the dominant response.  Isolating is the third strategy. They retreat inward to disappear or remove themselves. Similar to freezing to feel safe.  Pleasers try to take care of everyone else.  If everyone else is happy, than I am happy.  Pleaser wants everyone to like them to feel safe.

I think I am a combination of all four.  In severe danger, I freeze.  That is where I have felt the safest.  Think, parallel universe to save myself.  Or I try to not be seen or disappear.  In regards to the pandemic, I think I isolated more than anything else.  It felt safe to retreat within my home.  And for the initial three months, it isn't like I had a choice.  Everything was shut down. Restaurants were doing take out if they were open and being inside was directed.  I managed to get outside, daily, to walk a park which probably saved me from being lonely or melting down.  

I tend to people please in social situations. Actually, it tends to be a combination of freezing and pleasing.  I do not enjoy being the center of attention and so I do what it takes to blend in.  In that way, I will go with the flow to keep everyone happy. Perhaps, I am overanalyzing.  

This has been an interesting evaluation.  I could be more assertive (controlling) and less of a pleaser in some situations.  In others, especially if I plan the outing or event, I have no problem taking control.  I suppose it is situational.

I look forward to the rest of this seminar.  The questions asked and all of the reflection I will be doing.  Happy Wednesday!

contemplation about mindset and other areas of my life

Happy Tuesday! It is a beautiful day. I woke up, refreshed and contemplating my money mindset. I think that will remain with me as I listen to the webinar. There is a bunch of useful information which I appreciate and some redundancy.  I suppose that is normal.  Offer a webinar to people and there are many people commenting, asking the same question and extending the length of the program. I think I have tapped out, consistently, at the mid way part. I can only listen to so much of the same.

I need to seriously put together my budget. In the last year, I have been forced to do this somewhat.  Monthly, I track my business expenses.  I have to.  Personally, I am aware of the majority of my expenses but allow too much flexibility in my entertainment fund.  Sober January is minimizing that but for how long?  Will I return to excess next month?  

Yes, I will.  I am trying to plan my road trip to Florida and be realistic about it.  I need to rent a car, figure out a few hotels along the way and then there is the food factor.  I believe, I will be in check until I arrive in Florida. Then excess will outweigh my sanity, lol.  I know how I enjoy traveling and spending time with friends.  Shari and I discussed cooking paella.  We both loved the squid ink paella we found in Barcelona.  I would like to make a whole meal dedicated to Spain.  Sardines, vermouth, serrano--all of this sounds incredible. Oh, and olives.  How could I forget olives???

I looked into utilizing my points for the rental car.  However, it appears that I will be forced to pick up from the airport locations.  This is not ideal.  All of the add-on taxes. Not to mention getting to the airport is inconvenient.  I know there is a better solution.

I met Brie for our weekly walk around City Park.  It is something that I look forward to and often, we add, lunch at the end.  Since it is sober January, we are trying sober sushi.  More manageable than heading into Cherry Creek and attempting lunch at one of my favorite spots without wine.  I still feel great and committed to what I am doing.  Moreover, it is aiding me in establishing benchmarks for habits.  Consistently, I have been waking up on my own, doing 10-15 sun salutations and then enjoying my infrared sauna.  This has been consistent since the start of January.  I have increased my water intake and read daily.  This is all helping me with productivity and doing more.  

I saw a post on IG about ridding yourself of things that are no longer serving you--holes with socks, books you will haven't or will never read, clothes that you have not worn in months or years, etc. and to do this daily.  Last week, I de-cluttered my coffee table.  It was piled high with bills, cards, receipts.  I finally sorted through the clutter and shredded any document with information that I did not want out there and threw the rest away.  I felt like a weight had been lifted.  Cleaner energy.  I should probably sage my place, too.

I have minimized some of my clothing in the past six months but I could be more diligent and honest.  I have been living in yoga attire and sports bras.  I honestly, do not remember wearing a traditional bra in the last two years.  Maybe a little too much information--sorry--just looking at how I have been living and choices I am making.  Do I feel lighter? More capable?  On the right path?  All things to consider.

I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day.  What is something that you can let go of to make space for something new?

Money Mindset

This is a topic that I do not delve into often or ever really.  Rarely, do I bring this topic up with friends. I don't ask them if they invest in the market or retirement.  These are both uncomfortable topics.  They need to be addressed and considered though.  I have a friend that retired at the end of last year which is incredible.  For me, at this point, retirement is out of the question.  Perhaps that is why I chose to focus on health and wellness a more sustainable lifelong job. The service industry is hard on the body.  Balancing out focusing on my physical health and decreasing my time serving has added years to my life. (Or so I am telling myself).

Back to the topic at hand--what is my money mindset?  I am content with my financial situation. I have been fortunate to make decisions that have not hindered me.  I can choose to treat myself to dinner, travel, etc.  It is a position of contentment, not growth.  I can put money into my savings and I am okay with it.  Yet, how do I go about growing the money I have?  Why has it taken me this long to address this?  It all goes back to my mindset.

I should be pursuing passive income is what I am realizing.  If you really look into this topic--I have a poor outlook. I have one stream of income. I have a belief that I can earn a certain amount of money but I self-sabotage.  I have been taught negative beliefs about money.  Money doesn't grow on trees is a great example of a negative belief and I heard this throughout my childhood.  Live below your means. All of these limiting beliefs.

I want to change that. I am currently listening to a podcast dealing with finance.  It's interesting.  And something that I should have tackled years ago.  I set up an IRA and have just let it sit.  It is intimidating to think about trading. I have the means to do more. I am scared to risk it.  I need to think bigger, do better and consider more. 

I remember my last trip to Las Vegas.  Most people go to Vegas to go to the casinos.  I go to Vegas to eat.  For real.  The food factor is insane.  I have found most success off the Strip with the food factor.  Yet, the last trip, we decided to test out a table.  I told Maghan that I had to change my money mindset.  I couldn't think about it as throwing it away (this is typically how I think about casinos.  Earned money that I am throwing away.  And, believing that, does make it happen.)  Instead, I told him we should promote that we were releasing the money. That it was a positive thing.  We approached the roulette table with a fifty dollar bill. Put the chip on black and doubled our money.  It was great!

So, I know that in that situation, changing my mindset helped me be fine with whatever happened.  I wasn't thinking about it in a negative connotation.  I was able to get out of my own way and be successful with it.

I have one friend that we do discuss finances, growing businesses and investing. I love it.  If I am honest with myself, it all goes back to trying to be perfect and not be judged. I have this nonstop record of my mom's voice saying--you don't want to look stupid.  On repeat.  

And, this is something that I have done to myself.  No one is judging me.  They are only concerned with their own situation.  I create these theories that have led to limiting beliefs.  I need to change my inner story about money, looking stupid and judgment.

This seminar is going to be great. It's insightful and although I was hopeful for a little more direction today in regards to trading/investing, it is beneficial to look into mindset and limiting beliefs.  I can start today.  I am going to.

Sober January--what I have learned so far

Day #8 of not drinking this month.  Maybe I thought it would be more difficult to do.  Limiting my social interactions possibly has aided the process.  But, realistically, I am okay.  I even increased the amount of days.  Initially, I planned on concluding this experiment on January 23rd--two weeks from today.  Midway through last week, I contemplated adding more days.  It feels right.  I am sleeping better, get up feeling refreshed and have been cooking more at home. I should curtail some of the sugar intake.  I have the perfect opportunity to truly eat clean and see how eliminating sugar, white flour, gluten affects my body.  I purchased popcorn and blue corn tortilla chips and they have been my downfall.  I love chips and salsa!

I participated in a little home self-care yesterday. My friend, Rachel, gave me a goodie bag for christmas.  I receive facials from her every other month or so and she treated her clients to a fantastic assortment of self-care products.  It was ideal. There was a hand hydrator and a foot driven product.  Both of these speak my language.  My hands could use some TLC as of late.  They look dehydrated, dry, etc..the hand salve was perfect.  She included a sugar scrub for lips, too.  It was a very thoughtful gift bag.

I am trying to be an adult this month.  I know, hard to believe, but necessary.  I set up my annual vision appointment (something that I always manage to do.  I believe in healthy eyes even if I loathe the obgyn and dentist).  My optometrist retired last year after the pandemic hit.  Prior to that he was semi-retired. I had been seeing him since 2003 or 2004.  Him retiring was difficult for me.  I have an opportunity to seek out a new optometrist or stay at his practice. Originally, I wanted to try out someone new. I have met a few optometrists from working at high end bars.  Then, I realized, why leave?  They have all of my files at their office.  They have been really good to me over the years.  Why not try out their new guy?

I also figured out an acupuncture appointment. This is something, electively, I have been thinking about.  It has been since 2018 that I have received acupuncture.  My ankle was jacked up and I was trying to heal it without going to a doctor.  I can be incredibly stubborn for those of you who don't know me.  I have difficulty going to the doctor willingly.  

Acupuncture is fantastic.  I feel that I need a sort of reset.  And, timing wise, it should work out great.  No drinking, ample hydration and some eating clean.

Planning my road trip is getting more interesting.  I think we are going to try to make paella one of the nights.  A way to honor our trip to Barcelona.  It was such an epic trip.  The food was incredible.  I hope we attempt a meal that includes vermouth, olives, tuna and potato salad, sardines, even. We sampled our way through the city.  Maybe this trip we will include other cuisines to truly honor food.  I am inspired!

I want to expand my culinary skills.  It is time.  I am great at cooking the things I enjoy but why am I not doing more?  A question to ponder while enjoying this beautiful Sunday.  I have a class this afternoon and some other admin stuff to attend to. I might post another insert since I was lazy yesterday.  We shall see...

Ratios

I figured out New Orleans rental situation. I ended up choosing the spot near Tulane. I loved the idea of the spot near the Marigny but she tacked on multiple fees which seemed silly.  I wanted a place that was straightforward.  

Shari found our spot in Florida.  It looks great.  A little residential but with fantastic amenities.  If I were younger, I might want more of a nightlife.  But, I prefer day drinking and so this will be perfect.  

Today was productive.  I saw my trainer and taught three classes.  My trainer brought it!  She changed up the TRX and it was fantastic.  I am going to feel it tomorrow.  

I walked to the store, paid some taxes and considered more of my trip.  I keep returning to being gone two weeks. Why? Typically, I work on the weekends and so if I extend my trip, what does it matter?  I should enjoy the drive, seeing people and exploring new areas.  I might stop in Austin on my way back.  I really have no idea what I want to focus on.  I have time to think about it.

Ironically, I listened to my new favorite podcast today and the host discussed thinking versus doing.  He asked what I think my ratio is.  I think probably 80% cognitive and 20% action.  He suggested flipping the ratio and aligning it more with a 30% thinking, 70% action. Even mentioned that it would be difficult to do and that you might push back. For sure, I see that.  I like analyzing things to death, lol. But, I would be more productive if I changed my mindset.  Maybe more 60.40?

He brought up another good point--efficient versus effective.  Sure, I have had many efficient (or productive as I like to say) days.  But, have they been effective?  I need to push for more effective days and not settle for efficiency.  I am very good at that.

My white board is helping and I need to add to the vision side of it.  It's all a work in progress.  And more than I have done in the past.  Keep moving forward, learning and being genuine.

All in motion

It is happening. Road trip to Florida, 2022!  I keep trying to decide the best route/stops and how long I should stay in each place.  Shari and I are meeting in St. Petersburg for five to seven days.  Neither of us wanted to fly.  I really have no desire right now.  It is a little shocking to me but it seems unappealing.  A road trip feels like adventure.

I can teach remotely, too.  I figure drive to Dallas which makes for a long first day.  Stay the night, teach in the a.m. and then drive to New Orleans.  I found a few airbnb's that look perfect.  One near the Marigny and the other near Tulane.  I am conflicted.  The one near the Marigny looks grittier and eclectic.  The one near Tulane has beautiful lighting and ample restaurants, coffee shops, bars.  I have stayed in the Bywater and most recently, in the Garden District.  I am open to anything really.

From NOLA, it will be a straight shot to St. Petersburg.  I thought about where to stop between those two cities and really there is nothing.  Mobile is two hours away.  Pensacola is another hour and a halfish.  I have bad associations with Panama City Beach from my childhood.  I stopped there on a cross country trip in 2007 with former friends in Phoenix.  I truly did not want to stop in Panama City. They did. We walked along the beach and had a bite to eat before heading west.  

I don't want to stop in Tallahassee.  I think I might extend my stay in NOLA and just drive to St. Petersburg on Saturday.  I don't know.  I am conflicted.  I know that I want to arrive in St. Petersburg mid-afternoon, at least.   So, it might be preferable to find a spot to shorten my drive.  Or, I suppose, I could consider a spot on Friday in St. Petersburg.  That might be the best option.

The way back, I am also trying to determine the best way.  Would it be better to drive past New Orleans to break up my return to Dallas?  Should I even stop in Dallas or keep going to Amarillo?  There are many options.  And I do not need to rush this. I don't want to.

Adventure will be here sooner than I am ready for...I still need to figure out a rental car.  That is a whole other story of frustration.  The prices for when I am looking are triple what they are in two weeks.  Does not make any sense.  I am chilling in the meantime with the knowledge that everything will work out.  I do not doubt that, at all.  

Enjoy your night!  Hopefully, I will have more concrete plans in the next week. Shari found us an airbnb with a pool and a hot tub.  It is a little north of St. Pete.  I liked all of the amenities and liked that it wasn't located on the beachfront. I kept thinking about the parking, the people, etc.  This will be more chill and more my speed.  

New Thai massage spot

I woke up this morning and thought about self-care.  What could I do to treat myself today?  Facial?  Pedicure?  Massage?  

I had a pedicure a few weeks ago with Lindsay.  I am not due for that service for a few weeks.  Facial was similar.  I received a facial a few weeks ago.  Three, at most.  And, I want to see if there is a big difference from not drinking wine and drinking more water.  I need to increase my water intake a little bit.  I am curious to look into that.

I thought about a massage or reflexology.  Typically, I frequent a thai place near my house.  I have been going there since 2015 and mostly enjoy it.  My last experience was not great.  My therapist stood outside of the room, chatting it up with another therapist for about six minutes after my appointment had started.  I remember, laying on the table, trying to tamp down my irritability but the more time that passed, the more pissed off I became.  There was no coming back from it.  It was a lousy 90 minutes that I could never get back.

I could arrange an appointment with another therapist there.  I thought about that.  But, it seemed too soon after the last service and if I saw the girl, I would return to that shitty state of frustration.  There is a spot even closer to my apartment which is also a thai massage place.  I have had an odd experience with them, too.  I won't go into that one. Nevertheless, I couldn't force myself to consider making an appointment there for the same reason. I left, felt justified and decided that I would not frequent their establishment. Perhaps, I felt more strong about this one.  I will eventually return to the initial place.  I have had many great experiences there.

I haven't given up yet.  I google thai massage and five spots pop up near me.  After some investigation, I determine the spot I want to check out.  They offer a combination massage--part reflexology/part back, arms, hands.  And, they have a special right now.  I text them to look into setting up an appointment.  They open at 11 am, daily, and so I waited to hear back from them.

After 11, I still haven't heard from them.  I still haven't given up.  I try to call them.  No answer.  Then, I return to the search results and call another spot.  This woman answers and from there my appointment is handled.  Maii, from Silk Thai massage, was fantastic.  Cute spot, inviting and put me at ease, immediately.  The service was great.  She was attentive and offered to do my neck and shoulders since we had time left.  I realized that this would be my new spot moving forward.  She could customize a reflexology and upper body treatment (which is truly what I was looking for).  My feet feel great and my calves are definitely not as tight.  

I love the korean body scrub but need to break up with it for a bit.  In the last four months, each time I visit, there is a new rule or regulation. I understand we are in interesting times, but they don't notify you of any of the changes when you set up the appointment.  I'm kinda over that.

It is snowing again in Denver.  We need it but I could do without the intense cold.  It feels frigid!  I thought about picking up some ramen but I am too lazy to actually leave my apartment.  And, paying a delivery fee, plus tax, and driver tip is a little ridiculous.  I think it costs almost as much for the fees as the ramen.

Staying consistent and feeling more comfortable doing it.  Next month, I will be driving to Florida.  It is going to be an epic trip!  Just need to figure out a place to crash,lol.  Enjoy your night!

Day number three

Day #3 of soberish January.  Started off great.  I slept eight hours which is long for me.  Typically, I wake up around 6 but today I was up at 7:30.  It threw me off a little.  My sun salutations were delayed, time in the dry sauna and then I didn't meditate.  I was definitely off.

But, fantastic, too.  When is the last time you have slept in?  And, it was pure sleep.  No waking up at 3 a.m. to analyze my life or some of my choices.  Perhaps, I started my day a little later than normal but I was productive.  I have been consistent the last few days.  Wake up, dry sauna, sun salutations, smoothie.  I read a little of Atomic Habits before considering the rest of my day.  I had a walking date with Brie and a few other tasks that I had scheduled.  Finally looking through my gratitude jar and decluttering my coffee table.  I swear, the table is clean for a day and then overrun with letters, bills, notes, to-do lists.  It all ends up on the table.

I have a white board where I am writing down tasks for the day and month.  I had made a notation of having my newsletter written and ready by the 5th.  It is crazy that I could have tackled this before the end of December.  Instead, the task remained untouched until this afternoon.  Once I got started, it was easy.  I had less distraction and mistakes.  I remember when I first embarked on creating newsletters or other graphics.  I would get so frustrated!  Small clicks where I would delete paragraphs or make a huge mistake.  It was uncomfortable but necessary.  I realized, early on, that I could only rely on myself to complete these tasks.  Especially the graphics aspect.  Maghan would look over the work and make suggestions but he never attempted to do one himself.  He did manage to get them printed off, one time, which was great.  I still utilize the UPS store to have that task handled.  And, from my frequenting the shop, I have made a few friends and clients.

I forgot to unsubscribe from an add on to one of my streaming services.  I feel foolish that I am paying for this since I knew when the free trial ended.  I suppose that is a lesson in handling tasks when not drinking.  The upside is that I will watch a few favorite shows during my soberish January.  More reading is happening, too.  It isn't optional. I know that I benefit from it and actually have three books going on right now.  All I need is a fiction book to throw into the mix and I will be set.

Tomorrow morning will come early.  I have a sunrise yoga class to teach and prep for.  I will hopefully go to sleep while meditating.  Try out something new.

Stay healthy and happy.  

Reflections

Happy 2022!  I feel like today is the first day of it.  I was finally semi-productive.  Paid rent.  That is always a task that has to be handled.  It snowed in Denver on Friday night which sort of extended the holidays.  I woke up on Saturday morning with the intention of teaching a class at my apartment.  The snow inspired me to stay in bed and postpone greeting the new year.  I was receiving text messages around 6:30 inquiring if we were doing a group session.  Meanwhile, I was getting texts from a co-worked asking about the scheduled cleaning party.  She was in Ft. Collins and said the roads were shitty.

I rescheduled the yoga session for Sunday and made breakfast.  Champagne with grapefruit.  Always a good way to begin the year.  Etoile is my sparkling of choice.  I found it in 2006 while touring Napa Valley.

It was a blah sort of start.  Crappy weather, cold, dreary.  The cleaning party was brief.  I think we all knew it seemed ridiculous that a fraction of the staff showed up to be accountable. No kitchen staff and a few of the other servers were held up--weather and otherwise.  I was thankful it was quick and painless.  I returned home and contemplated my next move.  January represented three weeks of not drinking.  My last day to imbibe was Saturday.  I could finish the etoile and continue with other bubbles.  I didn't think there were other stores open and I was too lazy to look too hard into it.  I settled for what I had available and made the most of it.  

I forgot to address another one of the podcast questions. What is my favorite way to refuel?  Of course, I love self- care and am a huge proponent of it.  Pedicures, reflexology, body scrubs come to mind.  I also enjoy tarot cards, journaling, looking at inspirational quotes to be motivated to do something different.  I wish I had a bath tub.  That would be an improvement in daily self-care.  I love where I live and have been in this space five years.  Is it time to move on?  Check out a different location of the city or even move somewhere new?  I had a dream of Montana last night.  Hmmm....could I withstand the winters?

I intend to focus on creating new habits and being better every day.  2020 imploded what I thought I knew of life, 2021 illustrated more pivoting/adapting/building and 2022 will see some of that to fruition.  With self-care and renourishing included.  I want to do more.

Today is the first day.  Continue to be consistent and grow.