Finishing up the day and torn between reading or blogging. I have fifteen books to read, a seminar to sort through and a packet to finish to scan and return to my CPA. Any of these activities would be beneficial. Yet, I want to procrastinate by watching something on tv. Anything would be suitable.
As a compromise, I chose to blog and listen to a show in the background. I will tackle the reading tomorrow. I have been committed to continuing my education and building skills. There have been numerous free webinars, available. Cheers to it being the start of the year. For real, there are countless opportunities to expand your knowledge in January. I signed up for two webinars that I lost interest quickly. One took a matter of days and the other I stopped paying attention when they switched platforms. I wasn't engaging with the group but I enjoyed reading the daily questions via e-mail.
About five days ago, they moved their daily readings to the facebook group. It would have been fine had simultaneous sessions not being offered within the group. I became bored trying to sift through the information that wasn't meant for me.
I have been faithful to the finance webinar and now this inspirational five day challenge. I like the majority of it but as noted, earlier, I do not like the insincerity of some of it. They keep requesting that we post live. It will move us out of our comfort zone and maybe create camaraderie for other attendees. To me, it feels fake. Most of the people look like they have prepped for their video--perfect hair, makeup, attire. It feels disingenuous. I am supposed to be expressing how I am changing or expecting from 2022 and look perfect while do it. I do not agree with that sentiment.
Life is messy. People are messy, complicated, chaotic. I considered participating this afternoon until mentioning it to Melody. Her response when I mentioned who is conducting the seminar was that this person was a rah rah cheerleader. In many ways, she is right. Then I disclosed that I was irritated by some of the fakeness of it. I noted that I was taking the parts that I found relevant to what I am looking for. In that moment, I knew that I didn't want to participate via video. Instead, I could reflect on it here.
My old version of me (prior to now) was that I have been a student of life. Following the rules for the most part while walking on the unconventional path. It has served me well until now. Now, I want to thrive not just exist. I want to push boundaries and have no regrets. Not regretting taking trips, eating whatever I want, telling people they are important to me or that I love them. I am tired to doing what is considered "right". There are no guarantees in life. Only regrets.
I am sure I could delve deeper to explain why I want more from life. Better yet, why I expect more from life. I don't want to look back and think--why didn't I do something? Why was I afraid to try something out? Or risk something? Why did it feel safer to remain in the comfort zone? I don't want to just be. I want to thrive.
On that note, I will conclude this for now. I want to get a good night of sleep and be refreshed and productive for the morning. I am thankful for today, my health, this month and upcoming opportunities. I see a trip to Chicago in my future. It is time to return and explore more of the city and food scene.
No comments:
Post a Comment