2021 Recap

More me time....finally. This was the year of stepping out and seeing what is possible.  Not relying on others to provide for me.  Self-indulgence, throwing things at a wall, trying to make it work. That was 2021 for me.

I left my job in March.  Actually, in a way, it was before that.  I had not been happy for awhile. I tried to make it work but struggled.  I knew that I wanted more for me.  However, working for others is always easier.  It was what I was taught at home, in school, even college.  Why break out on your hold when all you know is how to work for others?

I figured that I would figure it out.  In some ways, I did.  I could get clients and retain them. It was more of the administration that I did not enjoy.  Looking back, I should have had better systems in place.  I did not know it at the time.  I went with what I was familiar with.   As time went on, I realized that I wanted to become better.  I worked at a restaurant to supplement my income and meet new people. That is the beauty of the service industry.  It is interactive and there are ample ways to meet people, discuss goals and potentially, new clients.  

I continued to grow my business and think about how to become more permanent with it.  I realized that this year was more safe than I intended to be.  I pushed boundaries but within the comfort of what I know.  I wasn't risking.   I was complacent.

Now I am considering how to build better habits.  I think I have a decent base after the last month. I have been consistent in blogging.  My Monday Motivation posts were consistent, weekly.  In the last two weeks, I have been reading more.  I see how I can benefit from small steps.  

I keep seeing repeating numbers. I believe in my situation and the person I will end up with.  This break has given me insight to work on myself which is important.  I suppose I never thought about this in the past.  

I had intended to walk today. Instead, I cleaned my house and planned for my night.  Took a leisurely lunch and am currently, chilling.  I need it.  Tonight will be long.

I hope you celebrate the conclusion of 2021.  If nothing else, reflect on things that went well.  Maybe consider how to improve your 2022. I am saddened by the news of Betty White's passing.  Still, she had a wonderful, rich life.  She made choices, helped others and there was a ton of laughter in her life.  What a way to live!

Enjoy tonight and the promise of tomorrow. Cheers to 2022~

More to ponder

In addition to cooking more, I also want to learn a language.  I have ample time to add another activity to my life and I want to.  Instead of streaming a new series, I want to decrease my time watching anything.  I got rid of cable four months ago since I was tired of paying almost $200 a month for cable and internet.  I scaled back but still utilize hulu, amazon and netflix.  Too much.  It is too easy.  I like the noise while I am decompressing and it is convenient.  However, it is a time suck.  I could be reading, learning or writing.

My favorite success this year was the addition of group classes.  I never thought I would enjoy teaching a big class.  It was terrifying to me.  I wasn't afraid of the sequence factor.  More about making it approachable to different people. Yet, I found when I was forced to do it, I truly enjoyed it.  I loved adding music to the mix and watching the energy grow and spread.  

I can trace this desire to teach back to being in Phoenix in 2011.  I was attending classes, regularly, til it became stagnant.  Some of the teachers were recycling sequences and I was uninspired.  There were a handful of teachers that always kept it fresh.  I tried to frequent their classes whenever possible.  I considered a certification but didn't make it happen until I relocated to Santa Fe in 2014.  Each city has a different style of yoga.  In Santa Fe, it was more spiritual than Phoenix.  Fewer teachers were into sequencing and I was forced to do more chanting which also was terrifying.  (Ironically, now I enjoy chanting and even have a client where we do chant).  

I digress.  I found myself in a situation where I wanted to do more with my life.  I thought about where I had enjoyed yoga the most and that was in Phoenix. And the majority of teachers that I respected and followed all had been certified at the same school. I reached out to the owners to inquire about their program.  Their studio offered a quarterly immersion program to bulk up on hours and complete the certification within a year.  I completed my certification in 2015 before moving back to Denver.  

I still felt the pull to the service industry and put this dream on the back burner.  I started teaching friends.  Classes were small and it was now and again.  Then the pandemic hit where I couldn't work for two months.  Suddenly, that was the spark that pushed me into full time teaching.  

That evolved into wanting to do more and thinking of ways to do it.  At one point, Maghan and I were discussing how to open our own spot (pre-pandemic) and he knew how important yoga was to me.  He wanted to ensure that I would be able to teach in our space.  I think the happy hours became what they were because of our collective backgrounds in the service industry.  

2022 presents many new opportunities for growth, travel and pushing boundaries.  I will continue on this path that started in 2011. Actually, it started in 2005 when I began practicing regularly.  Yoga changed my life.  It provided a way to do my own thing which has been beautiful.

Some things to consider before heading into 2022

Recently, I found this amazing podcast.  I don't know how I have not stumbled upon it before. I am familiar with the gentleman who hosts it.  He always provides thoughtful relationship advice.  As I scrolled through available episodes, one stood out.  Questions to consider when heading into 2022.

The first question to consider was what made you feel the most happy in 2021.  He suggested using your photo app from the beginning of 2021 til the current day.  It was effective.  As I scrolled though my year, I was most happy when I was sharing things I love.  For example, there is a photo from a Detox to Retox session where I am standing next to Maghan and I look ecstatic. I can feel the happiness from the photo.  We both look happy and we make a good team.  He always inspired me to do more, aim higher and increase my effort.  It was our first happy hour and epic. Nine of my clients attended and I was thankful for their support.  I was proud of Maghan for designing a fantastic appetizer menu. We offered avocado deviled eggs, tuna poke, and a vegetable tray with hummos.  I think there was one more appetizer. I cannot remember. I just remember how blessed I felt that day.  He always provided levity to offset my chaotic energy.  (Yes, sometimes, I am a little unsettled and all over the place.  I truly want everything to be perfect.  I can be intense, lol).

There were other happy hours.  We offered new and different food and each session was a treat.  New people, different energy and opportunity to expand community.  I loved that!  The remainder of the question was how would you plan on doing more of this in 2022?  More happy hours.  New locations and expanding my client base.  I need to continue to water that aspect of my life.  Cultivate what is important to me and watch it grow.

The next question was--what took energy away from your happiness?  Hmmmm....overanalyzing.  Falling into doubt, fear, shame.  Thinking about if I was doing the right thing by venturing out on my own.  That all created a bad spot for me.  There were days when I would be in a funk.  I doubted my decision and thought about returning to the service industry since I felt more comfortable working for someone else. Ultimately, I knew that area of my life was done.  I could do it temporarily but I didn't want to work for anyone else again.   That is one of my why's.  I want to be my own boss.  It is not the easiest path and I struggle.  Yet, I am committed to staying on this path.  I think the doubts reinforce that I must focus and continue.

I learned a lesson of letting go this year.  Letting go of expectations. Making time for what is important to me.  It is okay to say no and set boundaries. It is more than okay to respect what feels right to yourself.  Not force things.  Not apologize just so someone else feels okay.  I think I recognized how much I could see both sides of situations.  Taking things personally.  Rarely does it even have to do with you.  People are consumed by their own reality and not really thinking about you or your feelings.  That was a big one.  We all address things from the scope of our own perspective.

Next year, I want to make more time to eat clean.  In the last month, I have been terrible. It is so much easier to order take out as opposed to cook at home.  I want to be more aware of what I am putting in my body.  January 2-23, I am participating in sober January.  I haven't done it in a few years but I am excited to be productive and see how my sleep improves.  I also intend to spend more time journaling and blogging. I have missed that aspect of my life.  Some of it was fear to put myself out there.  Yet, I need to be doing that to grow my business.  I was consistent with my Monday Motivations (thankfully).  I need to put myself out there a little bit more.  I think it will make a difference.

Long post.  Sorry.  There were other things to consider but I want to conclude this for now.   I can reflect on the rest later or tomorrow.  Happy Wednesday!

question for the day

I figured I should write another post since the last few days I have been absent.  Frantically shopping (unlikely).  More likely, trying to plan the solstice sessions and set goals for 2022.

I cannot believe that we are nearing the end of this year.  And, believe me, I am ready.  This year was challenging.  More so than 2020 from my perspective. I struggled with a funk and I suppose I needed to go through it.  I needed to lose some things in order to find myself.  I needed to figure out how to do things on my own.  

Ironically, the question I selected today--is how have I become me?  What am I like?

From necessity.  I have become more capable.  I spent the majority of my life doing what is right and working for other people.  I have benefitted from this arrangement.  The pandemic changed things for me.  No longer did I feel compelled to what I thought I was supposed to do.  Instead, I considered how I could improve my situation by working for myself.  How could I incorporate yoga into my daily life?  How could I offer it to others?

I am evolving.  Aren't we supposed to continue to grow in life?  Otherwise, you start to die or so they say.  Some days, I am productive, confident, networking and busy.  Other times, I rest, reflect, consider.  I try to remain on the productive side but sometimes, I want to rest.  I want to replenish and not get jammed up with overthinking.  Seriously, I tend to overanalyze everything.  Maybe I should meditate more.  It could help.

I try to focus on being the best version of me daily.  If I have "off" days, I can do better tomorrow.  I make it sound easier than it is.  There are days of pure struggle.  Months of feeling off.  All I can do is try.

I hope you have a wonderful holiday weekend.  The weather in Denver is unusual and not christmas like.  I am inspired to get outside and enjoy sunshine.  I love it but it is scary to think that if this continues what the summer will be like.  Summer could be awful!

Solstice

Tuesday was a big day!  Started out with 36 sun salutations with Jenipher at 7 am.  We had arranged a session to honor the solstice.  A little ambitious as she wanted to attempt 108 sun salutations.  Achieving thirty-six was fantastic especially for her.  When we were practicing together we focused mostly on breathwork and creating strength.  She has improved her practice and 36 was a huge feat.  We celebrated with a little Veuve.

Afterwards, I had set up a 5 pm session where we would do 108 salutations. I knew that this group would hold me to it.  There would be no way to avoid doing the flow.  Even if it took us all night. We would do one hundred and eight sun A's.  One hour and twenty minutes later, we did it!

All, in all, one hundred and forty-four salutations.  It was awesome! I felt honored to lead the sessions and participate.  I offered dragon fruit, pineapple and strawberries to cleanse the palette before sharing kitchari.  It worked well.  I figured that we would want to replenish and kitchari is the best way.  Incredibly good for the gut and healthy.  I learned how to make it while doing yoga with Paige in Santa Fe.  She wanted me to eat kitchari two to three times a week.  It has been a minute since I made it.  Thankfully, I have my pressure cooker and a better blender.

I slept so well the last few days.  Something about that repetitive movement and breathwork.  And, I treated myself to a body scrub yesterday.  My last one for awhile.  It seems like every time I enter the facility they have a new rules and regulations.  It is stressful.  Plus, I have my infrared sauna now that I am enjoying in the mornings.  I have managed to wake up, daily, grab a hot lemon water and meditate for 30 minutes.  My skin feels incredible and I am seeing benefits from this purchase.  I bought books to inspire more learning and a vision board to utilize for 2022.  Fully embracing the energy of the solstice.  I feel that the last few months, I have been planting seeds for growth and working on myself.  Things are now coming to fruition.

A little late...

 What does "being" mean to me?

All of these recent questions have a common thread. Seems like they are asking the same thing in five different ways, lol.  It seems like the universe really wants me to be clear with my intentions.  Pushing me further out of my comfort zone.

I had an appointment with my accountant this morning to discuss quarterly taxes and all of that fun administration. It motivated me to delete some emails.  I have so many junk emails that I receive on a daily basis.  I have been better about unsubscribing to some of the things I have bought once.  And, I a over receiving political asks for donations.  So, imagine my surprise when I find an email from October where a contact had offered to meet to discuss utilizing a building for yoga.  I met this man in August who remembered me from working at the Palm  We caught up and I mentioned that I was teaching yoga, full time and trying to build my business. He had a space that was not being utilized and offered to discuss options.  We corresponded a few times and I never heard anything back from him after my last email in September.  Or, so I thought.  He emailed me a month after and apologized for not following through with our conversation.  I feel like a jackass for being lazy.  How did I miss this?
Possibly since I have multiple email accounts.  It does not excuse my lack of correspondence.  

Getting clarity on my goals and how I want to start 2022.  Sober January or at least three weeks of it.  I agreed to support the Goddess in her quest to complete sober January.  Andrea told me today that she also intends to do sober January.  I think a few more people will be participating.  It feels like a shift is happening.  More transitions.  Speaking of...the winter solstice is Tuesday, December 21st.  I will be hosting two yoga sessions to commemorate the occasion.  I cannot wait!  I think it will help me embrace what I am wanting to do.  

Have a wonderful rest of your day!

some advice

What kind of advice on life would my old self give to my current self?

I think my old self would tell my current self to follow the rules.  I know that seems simplistic but I have always followed the rules.  This was ingrained in me at a very young. The difference between right and wrong.  Paying bills before they are due.  Following systems in play.  I remember, vividly, making a budget for Brian and expecting him to follow it.  Granted, I was older than him and felt I had a better approach to getting out of debt.  We were on the verge of making a lifelong commitment to each other and I didn't want to take on his debt.  I made him pay his credit card bill before it was due and two days later, he died.  Paying that bill made no difference.  It didn't bring him back.  

I think that was the first time I questioned how I operated under the guise of doing what is right.  Sometimes, you do what is best.  You create what you want.  You are above fear.  I forget this though and almost always default to doing what is right.  I am fantastic at being accountable for things I do.  Ironically, other people in my life are never held accountable. Mostly, work related.  And it isn't specific to one job.  It's been this way most of my life.

I don't even argue. I just agree and try to do better. Until recently that is. I don't think doing what is right is always correct. And it doesn't work if you are the only one playing by these arbitrary rules.  All I can do is do better, daily.  

I picked up an infrared sauna blanket. I am still on the fence if I like it or not.  I want to make sure that it will heat up and make me sweat.  I hope to pick up a vision board for 2022.  There are a few options with cork board which I like.  I could set monthly goals instead of an annual focus.  

I do believe in avoiding debt.  I am just not so concerned about making early payments anymore. I wait til the day they are due and make a payment.  It fits my mood.  

I guess I am growing up, lol.

Hump Day

Happy Humpday!  Midweek check in.  Always a time to reflect and consider how you want to finish your week.  

I thought I would be preparing food at home this week.  Instead, I have been fairly social.  Take out on Monday from a greek restaurant after my in person session that night.  Yesterday, I met Brie for a walk around City Park.  Spontaneously, we went to lunch afterwards.  Impromptu sushi meet up.  I finally attempted to get my admin caught up and found myself distracted.  Uninspired to try to make dinner.  

Today, I was supposed to teach an in person session and then go to lunch.  The weather is not cooperating and so my client had to reschedule.  Again, I am uninspired to cook at home.  Is that terrible?

I find myself listening to a podcast while attempting to be consistent with blogging.  It has been consistent.  I don't know that the content is fantastic.  Still I want to continue on this path.  I want to pursue enlightenment and making changes in my life.

That being said, here is the question of the day--are there things I should let go of in order to move forward?  

Possibly. In terms of relationships/friendships, I know that I must forgive myself and move forward.  I cannot wait for a conversation or closure with some people.  Sometimes, energetically, you no longer align and that is okay.  What do they say--reason, season or lifetime?  

I have a few lifetime friends that I am incredibly thankful for.  But in order to achieve this, there has to be two people committed to cultivating the relationship.  Both have to agree to have the hard conversations.  There is so much forgiveness involved, too. If the expectation is that you are owed an apology without identifying your participation in it, you probably are falling out of alignment.

I have other friendships where I know I will talk to the person again.  I am confident that we will come to terms with the hurt and move forward.  Sometimes, I waiver due to impatience.  But, ultimately, when I look inside, I know that we will talk.  I believe it.

I need to let go of the judgment, fear, doubt that I have placed on myself.  I think I am supported by many friends and family.  And, perhaps, they think I am foolish but rarely, do they let on.  I place these limiting thoughts on myself.  I struggle, sometimes, to maneuver through them but I have to. Otherwise, I will be stagnant.

I truly believe I will be driving to Florida in February.  I need to figure out the timeline.  I could do it in three days but it would be painful. Instead, I would like to stop in Dallas for two days.  Drive to NOLA and spend two days and then head to St. Petersburg to spend five to six days.  Return to Denver a little quicker but essentially the same route.  Maybe stop in Santa Fe and soak at Ojo Caliente on my way back.  

I bring up the road trip because I want to do it but am afraid of requesting the time off.  However, I know that I need to let this go. This fear, doubt, uncertainty to keep moving forward.  I want to travel, experience life and continue to grow.

The pandemic helped me create a new life.  It also limited me in many ways. I have not traveled.  I have been to Santa Fe four times this year.  Last year, I went to Barcelona (thankfully) and a few times to Santa Fe.  Typically, I travel 12-14 times a year.  I miss it.  I am making a change for 2022.

Lengthy response today.  I think listening to the podcast while blogging inspired this.

Tuesday question

What does happiness mean to me?

Interesting question.  Sometimes it seems kismet how these questions occur.  I shuffle the deck a few times and then cut the cards in half.  Randomness at its best.  I have been watching Succession and was on the episode where they contemplate happiness.  When I chose this today, I felt it was appropriate.  Seemed serendipitous.

Happiness is being able to wake up and decide how I want to spend the day.  Meet a friend for a walk, do administration work, drink wine at lunch, plan a trip.  Do yoga. Bask in the sunshine.  Bond with nature.  Read a book.  Communicate with friends--old and new.  Eat carrot cake.  Or peanut butter cookies.  I managed to snag a few cookies for a friendsgiving last month.  I think my friends were surprised at how delicious the cookies were from the coffee shop I frequent.

Next week, for the winter solstice I have an early morning session to honor the day and a happy hour session.  It will be a day centered on meditation and movement.  Lots of movement. I am excited to see how I feel after completing sun salutations.  I think it will range from 108-150.  I offered to teach complete sessions--108 each time.  I don't know if we will fulfill it.

Happiness is even working at times.  It is social, interactive and exposing me to new foods.  Sometimes, it isn't fantastic. The food factor.  But, being fed is wonderful and for the most part, the current place I am working, provides great food.  They haven't declined to providing hot dogs on a weekly basis (not mentioning where that occurred) or punishing you for eating bread during service (not mentioning this place either).  

I created a new smoothie combination this morning. I woke up with the knowledge that I wanted to incorporate beets and spinach to whatever I threw together.  I needed to increase my iron this week.  I added avocado, banana, blueberry, ginger, basil and bell pepper.  It was delicious.  I have not had an avocado in my smoothie for the last month.  I have missed it.  It adds a lovely texture to the mix.  

Choosing happiness is happiness.  November was a difficult month for me.  I struggled to stay the course I set on earlier this year.  Then I tried to self-destruct with negative thinking and drinking wine.  I suppose I am growing since I am able to recognize my tendencies and ability to return to comfort.  

It is a beautiful day in Denver.  I am about to leave for a meet up/walkabout.  I have a yoga class later and perhaps some wine in the future.  Life is grand!

Comedy of errors

Yesterday was all about adaptation and going with the flow. I woke up, early, and prepped for my yoga at the St. Paul.  I checked the weather.  It was sunny but 22 degrees outside.  Thankfully, I grabbed more than my hoodie since when I arrived at the bar, it wasn't open.  I called Jordan but he did not answer.  I tried texting as three people arrived.  I started to freak out a little bit.  

I offered to have my clients come to my house to do yoga.  They agreed.  I worried that my apartment was not clean.  We started later than expected.  My spotify wouldn't work.  It seemed like everything that could go wrong was going to.  It was a comedy of errors.  Midway through the class, I opened some cava to provide some levity to the situation.  I think I was creating this story in my head about how awful it was.  I kept looking around my apartment.  It's spartan.  I have a tv that is decorative.  I have a few pieces of artwork in my living room that I love but that is eclectic.  My Frieda Kahlo might seem a little odd.  My mind was in overdrive as I attempted to teach the class.

Ironically, I think I was making it more of an issue. I don't think it bothered anyone else.  They were there to do yoga.  Overall, it went well.  My space can hold maybe five people if I make a few adjustments.  I explored the option of moving my tv to my room.  Yet, the cable jack is located in the living room.  I might shift my couch around to make more space.  

I told my clients that we would return to the tavern with my apartment being a plan B.  I am thankful for the flexibility of my clients.  It could have went sideways or been canceled for all I know.  Randomly, my spotify is still messed up.  I tried to use the platform this morning and it played three songs and then crapped out.  It shows a message about returning to music after these messages....hmmm....irritating!

2022, I think, will be more adapting, evolving and expanding.  I have learned, a lot, this year and it will continue. More marketing, admin and clientele.  It has been wonderful to roll with whatever happens.  Not be so stuck in what I think I should be doing.  

Friday's question

This might be a little tmi....the question today is how do I show love to myself? To others?

I think I should love to myself by self-care.  I try to get a body scrub, monthly.  Sometimes a pedicure, facial or massage, too.  I think that is one way that I try to show love to myself.  But in the last week of reflection, I realize that I could do a better job of loving myself.  I think I have isolated myself from others and family from past experiences.  It is self-protection.  Harder to be hurt if you don't allow others the opportunity to hurt you.  I think of my relationship with my parents.  Tenuous, at best.  

I know that they love me and I love them. However, I don't have the closest relationship with either of them.  I rely more on my friends for emotional support.  I think it has always been since way, too.  I wasn't the oldest, I wasn't the youngest and I didn't have health concerns. I was just there.  I think I have blamed some of my emotional hesitancies on my mom.  Many of them, actually,  Yet, recently, I realized that my dad is equally at fault.  Rare to recognize that and still processing what to do with the information.

I show love to others by feeding them, for one.  Spending time and listening to their concerns.  Sharing my love of yoga is another way I share love.  I believe we should all focus on nourishing our bodies.  We are inundated with information--good and bad, daily.  Overwhelmed, in fact, at times. It is easy to let our minds wander and distract ourselves from what is true for each of us.  Nourishment and healing are essential to our daily lives.  We need to replenish and stop giving so much of ourselves that lead to depletion.

How can you rejuvenate?  I hope to schedule a body scrub in the next few weeks. The Goddess mentioned meeting so I can pick up my vitamins and getting a pedicure together. I am all for those meetups!  

Today I woke up to snow.  The sun in shining brightly and it is beautiful today.  I am listening to a podcast about finance.  I am inspired to make some changes.  And I am considering a sober January or at least a good chunk of it.  I think it will allow me to clarify my goals and look inside.  We shall see.

I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day.

Thursday's question

What are those things that make me feel good while I'm doing them?

Question for today. I don't know how I feel about it. I talk about how much I enjoy traveling (almost daily) and so this sort of feels redundant.  Ironically, I posted on IG a photo of me siting in Lafitte's Blacksmith Shop in NOLA for my throwback post today.  I have been thinking about a road trip since my last conversation with Shari.  We are meeting in Florida for the annual celebration of Brian's life in 2022. It will be wonderful to celebrate there and with Sara Jo.  

The celebrations and travel started out as Shari and I, only.  Over time they have expanded to include friends, strangers and new accomplices. I think of the trip to Belize and how that created a new tangent of people and experiences. Connections that led to further friendships in Vietnam.

After talking with Shari, I felt I should consider a road trip.  I am hesitant to fly. I haven't flown since our trip to Barcelona in 2020.  For whatever reason, the opportunity to drive sounds more appealing. Maybe due to the fact that I know I could stop in a few spots to see friends and family.  I could explore regions that I typically avoid.  Namely, the South.  I could teach remotely and maybe discover more ways to improve my business.  I have found myself in a rut.  It's way too easy to return to what you know.  I enjoy the service industry but need to focus on what I am trying to achieve. Maybe a break would help me?

Teaching makes me feel great while doing it.  Seeing friends take to yoga and improve their practice.  I have become more mindful in my approach. People have different needs and wants.  In my practice, I want you to break my mind.  Over sequence and take me out of my zone. I have not found many people with that same desire.  I have learned more pre-natal, injury, breathwork and chanting. I love being exposed to all of these different approaches.

Eating food with others makes me happy.  Especially if wine is involved and we are able to enjoy the experience.  Food unites us all.  I love taking time to enjoy a meal with people in my life.  Specifically, those who make food with love. 

I could probably go on and on.  I feel very thankful today for my life.  I am about to teach an in person session followed by a lunch date.  Should be a lovely way to spend Thursday!!!

Make it great!

Hump Day

Happy Wednesday!  Mid-week assessment.  How are you doing with your goals this week?  Sailing along or finding hiccups?

I decided that I wanted to take a few days off from being social.  Translation--no wine.  Monday was easy.  I felt that I wanted to enjoy a night of pure sleep.  Typically, not drinking wine or any alcohol aids in this process.  I ordered take out (which was lazy/convenient).  I considered driving to a greek spot but the weather inspired me to stay home, order take out and pay ridiculous fees for convenience.  Basically, I spent $30 on a gyros platter.  

Not the best investment but I didn't feel like changing my clothes to go out into the world.  Yesterday, I made dinner and considered drinking wine.  I had opened a bottle on Sunday night and didn't want to waste it.  However, I kept thinking about how wonderful my sleep was on Monday night. I couldn't not recreate that experience.  

I focused on doing some business things that I had postponed.  I write a newsletter, monthly, with the intention of sending it out at the beginning of the month.  Some months I am on top of that task.  Other months, like this one, I manage to get it out a week late.  I start to compose it, walk away from it and then attempt to read through it a day later.  I need to take a break from my thoughts.  If I rush the process, I find I am not happy with the end result.

And there was a lot to cover.  Upcoming yoga happy hours, winter solstice, yoga on Saturday mornings at the St. Paul and a few other random suggestions.  I use graphics to compose the newsletter and then attach it to an email.  Eventually, I will figure out how to send out the newsletter directly.  

I am on the fence with whether or not I want to send out christmas cards.  I have in the past and I love receiving them.  I feel that I have veered from this habit since I send out cards throughout the year.  I don't like being told what to do.  I am just being difficult.  Of course, I love sending christmas cards!

What does your day look like for you?  I have more yoga to teach and then a facial.  I am still trying to take care of myself in the best way that I know how.  I listened to a podcast yesterday where the guest was discussing food and health hacks.  How the body can heal itself.  They had a bunch of good suggestions and then mentioned an infrared sauna.  Intriguing.  I looked into purchasing one and there are a plethora of options.  I am leaning towards the sleeping bag options. They are inexpensive and take up less space.  

I am still looking for a book to read.  Any suggestions are appreciated.  

Enjoy your Wednesday.  Think about how you can make it great!  Cheers~

Question for Tuesday

What would I do if I had enough time?  What do I do when I have time?

If I had enough time, I would travel more.  I should just make it work.  I can work remotely.  I spoke to Shari last night about our upcoming trip to Florida.  We are celebrating Brian's life in St. Petersburg with Sara Jo.  Originally, we had discussed Puerto Rico.  Puerto Rico would be great but with the uncertainties associated with what is going on right now, Florida seemed like a safer bet.

Shari is considering an extended road trip.  It inspired me to consider doing that myself.  I could travel east as long as the weather holds.  Yesterday was our first glimpse of winter in Denver.  I think it was 27 degrees.  So cold!  I am fine driving as long as there is no snow, sleet or intermittent weather.  More than likely, I will fly to Tampa and figure it out from there.

Still, the possibility of a road trip sounds amazing.  I tend to head west or southwest typically.  I do make it to Kansas to visit the Littles but rarely, do I head south or east.  Maybe it would be fun to drive to Florida.  I think it is 28 hours.  A little daunting.  Even if I broke it up over three days, they would still be nine hour days.  Not fantastic.

I will think more on it within the next few weeks.  It could work.  I would love to return to NOLA.  I could potentially make a stop in Dallas and see Hailey and her family.  The last stop would be St. Petersburg.  I would have to stay five days, minimally, before the return trip.  

When I have time, I daydream.  I hike, walk the park, listen to podcasts, do yoga, meet friends for lunch.  I wish I took more time to cook. I should.  I enjoy cooking and have a few tools to make it easier.  I purchased a pressure cooker a few years ago so that I could make kitchari--this delightful ayruvedic dish that is beneficial for gut health.  It utilizes turmeric, ginger, coriander, mustard seed, ginger.  I would add a jalapeno chutney to smooth it out.

I go in spurts of reading.  I need a new book to delve into.  A co-worker gifted me a book that I could not get into, at all. The writing was terrible and from the first paragraph I struggled.  It was awful.  Somehow, she managed to finish it.  I picked it up, many times, but just couldn't do it.  Since then, I have not found anything.  I stop by random free libraries, hopeful to find something.  Maybe today I will be lucky!

Maybe I should learn a language.  I could take 30 minutes a day or replace listening to podcasts with learning something new.  I do have time.  I can make time.

Tomorrow, I might just free write as opposed to the question method. It is helpful.  

Monday's question and a lazy day

What advice on life would I give to myself, if I was a mother and wished nothing but happiness for my child?  

Hmmmm....maybe, be kind always.  Do what makes you happy.  Resist the urge to please others and set off on your own path.  That one resonates the most.  Do the unconventional thing.

I do not know that we are supposed to do what we are told to do.  If I listened to what I am supposed to do I would be married, raising a family and putting most of my energy into providing a family.  For many people, that works.  For me, it never spoke to me.  I am thankful for my parents, my siblings and my nieces and nephews.  Motherhood just was not for me.   

I knew when I left for college that I wanted to travel.  I would not return to my hometown and make a life.  In fact, I had planned to travel for six months in 2001 after I graduated from college.  I had everything set up.  First stop, Athens and from there I would take the eurorail wherever I chose. I think I had arranged a hotel for the first few nights.  From there, the world was wide open.  

That trip sort of went sideways after 9/11.  I ended up in Denver as a result which is a whole other story.  Talk about the road not taken.  I do not regret one minute of the choices I have made.  I have incredible experiences as a result.  Or incredible to me.  I should clarify that.  Had I gotten married young, I honestly, have no idea where I would be.  I still believe I would have wanted to move out of the midwest.  My fantasy world would suggest ending up in Europe or Asia.  I loved spending time in Vietnam a few years ago.  I could see myself there.

Currently, I am in Denver.  And, I do love it.  Great support network and it has been home to me for the last 20 years, off and on.  If I leave, I always yearn to return.  I think I am projecting some sort of wanderlust vibe though. In the last week, four people have asked me if I am returning to Santa Fe.  

I am not.  Maybe later in life.  I do find refuge in Santa Fe.  It has always been an oasis for me.  A place to reset, reflect, rejuvenate.  When I lived there, it was a little too small for me at this point in my life.  I lived there for a year and a half before returning to Denver.  I knew that I would make my way home.

I would continue to recommend the unconventional life.  I am so thankful for where it has lead me.  I don't know that I would have traveled to South Africa, Cambodia, Cuba or Australia had I been more traditional.

That is all for now.  I figure I should move on to my next task.

Question of the day

What is everything is as it should be?  How would that make me feel?

Uncertain.  I am still sussing it out.  November was a challenging month.  I felt conflicted about my direction and that remained the entire month. I questioned why I chose this path, if I should remain on it and if I could do it alone.  

I had someone that had been helping me with the happy hours.  I enjoyed his energy and willingness to be creative with the food.  Plus, he is charismatic and can be incredibly charming.  It added some levity to the situation.  Then, I found that I would be doing it solo.  And it made sense.  I started on this journey on my own and committed to continue.  I would not be derailed without his support.  I would only be derailed if I self-imploded.  And, believe me, I am good at destructing my life.  

December has been more positive and feels lighter.  I feel I recognize my boundaries and how to navigate what I am trying to achieve.  I am getting better.  So in a roundabout way, reflection leads to clarity and moving forward.  I will continue to learn new skills and blog.  Some days maybe mundane and even oversharing.  I cannot feel bad about what I am putting out there.  It would limit my creativity and kill my momentum.  I have done this often in the past and with what result?  Repeating the same pattern. 

I want to move outside of this.  That is what I am realizing and feeling.  It is easy to remain comfortable.  To remain in a space that has already been navigated and established.  But it does not encourage growth.  I want to continue to learn new skills and challenge myself.  I am inspired to create and focus on my logo.  Perhaps have stickers, note cards and t-shirts made.  Maybe even dally with a utube channel.  Fully put myself out there and do yoga.  

I guess I am where I am supposed to be.  And it feels great!  This morning the weather is overcast which is a change. Still warm and manageable to get outside and enjoy the park.  I hope to do that after I have my headlight replaced.  Of course the low beam went out last night.  It is always something, lol.

Here is to consistency and continuing to build. Cheers!

Reshuffle

 I returned home. I am attempting to be as consistent as possible with blogging and figured I could use the deck of cards to aid me in the process.  I shuffled the cards and chose a new question for today.

What are you thankful for?  Too funny as I just drew this card in the last week.  Still it is fitting.  I am thankful for this beautiful weather in Denver. It is uncanny.  I think it will be 68 degrees today. Reminds me of my time in Phoenix. This time of year was always a blessing from the intense heat of the summer.  Some people will tell you Phoenix is only bad for four  months. I disagree. The minute it hits triple digits it is intense til November.  

I look at this as a blessing.  I love this extension to fall or mild winter. Although, it will eventually snow or get cold.  There is no way around it.

Today was a great day.  I met a client for lunch and am inspired by our conversation. This woman is amazing.  A lawyer, yogi, wellness practitioner, mother, wife, daughter, friend.  She always has about four projects going on in addition to a full time job.  I met her through her husband.  We started practicing yoga together and became friends.  I am motivated to begin a few projects myself.  I need to have some note cards made, my logo arranged, maybe some t-shirts/stickers.  I dream of these ideas but have not made much of an effort to make it happen.

I want to do this.  I just get distracted.  Wine lunches with girl friends, trips to Santa Fe, watching Netflix (not the best excuse or justification).  Still I know this is something that will help me improve my business.

I am thankful for opportunities to be inspired.  Thankful for Saturday and hopeful to enjoy the next 20 minutes before heading to work.  

Life is grand!

Is there something in my life that makes me forget time while I'm doing it? What is it?

I don't know if there is anything that makes me forget time when I am doing it.  Perhaps travel.  I suppose that would qualify.  Or planning travel would be more likely.  I definitely get in a zone where time doesn't stop, exactly, I just am not paying attention to it.  

Yesterday was a great day.  Taught yoga, live, with Carmen and then had lunch at Vinaigrette and dinner at the Compound.  Neither place ever disappoints.  I prefer the patio at Vinaigrette. Their inside dining room is sterile and lacks ambiance.  I didn't feel like doing take out so I sat inside after finding a parking spot. That parking lot is terrible!  I found a spot, thankfully.  

Carmen met me for dinner at the Compound.  We worked there, briefly, together.  It was a treat to dine a the bar and hang out with Mike. I have been enjoying myself and able to relax. I think I needed a break from what I have going on. I overanalyze--shocking, I know.  It can be overwhelming at times.  I just needed time and space to reflect, rejuvenate, relax.  Maybe gain a little perspective on what I want to be achieving.  

I always fare better when I have travel to look forward to.  This last year has been challenging.  It's been almost two years since I have flown anywhere.  I am so thankful for my trip to Barcelona with Shari.  It was fantastic!  I have remained in Denver. I think I have been uninspired to travel if that makes sense.  

In the spring, I hope to visit Sara Jo a few times.  Or, meet up with her somewhere if it is possible.  I need that for myself.  

I hope you have a lovely day.  I am about to leave for Ojo Caliente.  Day of soaking, relaxing and enjoying life.  It is stunning in Santa Fe today!  Make it a great day.

What is my instinct telling me to do?

Be patient.

Sometimes, things fall into place.  Or they seem serendipitous.  Kismet.  This question is ideal for my mindfulness today.  

Be patient.  

I heard from my mentor earlier. We had texted recently since I would be in Santa Fe and we could meet up for a yoga class.  I had hoped that Paige would attend my live class.  Life got in the way.  You know...family, work, etc...still we connected today to catch up.   

It's been a few years.  Still we were able to begin again from where we left off. Such a skill.  And she knows me and my concerns.  

Patience is essential.  As much as I want to rush things, I know that this is right.  I know that I need to be patient.  Be kind.  Focus on me and not rush interactions.

I feel rejuvenated here.  Santa Fe always does that for me.  It is a great reset.  Something about the quality of air and openness.  It is amazing.  I return here and feel at peace. And November sucked.  What a waste of a month for me.  Constantly showing me what I don't want or want to choose.

If you listen to your gut instinct, you are always right.  It speaks to you.  Mine, right now, is preaching about patience.   Everything else will fall into place.  I do believe this.  I feel it.  

Enjoy your day.  I will continue to live it up!

 Another question from the journal rolodex....who am I when I'm alone?

Hmmm....many things.  Currently, reflective and a tad bit sad.  Happy, getting better, feeling healthy.  Excited, anxious, stressed.  Is it okay to be all of these things?  I might be more.

I am traveling tomorrow.  I have most of it packed and have a few more items to put together.  I am taking a lot this time.  Food, my blender, swim suit, stuff for Ojo Caliente, things to read, yoga planner, clothes and a few other items.  Oh, and wine.  I picked up some wine this evening so that I could focus on arriving, going directly to La Choza and then teaching Melanie at 4 pm.  I am excited for this mini adventure and already planning my next one.  I feel drawn to flying to Florida.  I miss my friend, Sara Jo.  

I am expressive, creative, vibrant, crazy, intense, extreme.  All of these things make me who I am.  I remember buying a plane ticket to Greece.  My plan was to travel for six months and then figure out what I wanted to do.  Be it, stay abroad, or return stateside. Then, 9/11 happened and my life altered its course.  I ended up in Denver where I have been off and of since 2001.  I met Brian which encouraged me to stay here.  He died in 2006.  Another wrench in my life plans.  I traveled for 5 months hoping to find myself.  Maybe I found a piece of me during that time.  I was pretty okay with whatever happened.  Sort of melancholy and I think I freaked out the majority of my family.  I was not drawn to death but I was okay if I was done.  Grief does that.  I had no inspiration.  I was always sad about what I had lost.

Then, eventually, I grew out of that and found myself back in Denver.  Motivated to do something new and find a way to travel.  I started running which opened me up to a new friend group.  In some ways, I feel that I always find a new opportunity.  

Currently, I feel a little stuck.  Or maybe I think I am stuck because I am not seeing enough results.  As you can see, I am all over the place with this question.  Extremely reflective

What are you thankful for today?

My friend, Melanie, gifted me a journal of sorts on notecards a few years ago.  I was in the habit of shuffling through the deck and choosing a question of the day.  I think I have ten left before reshuffling and beginning again.

I had been writing out my responses in a journal.  Since I took a break from blogging, I was actively trying to journal.  I have an assortment from gifts from friends and in all honesty, you can never have enough journals.  They are a remarkable gift.  

Back to the question--what am I thankful for today?

Hmmm...my health, first and foremost.  I am very thankful I can still go upside down and that I am healthy to build strength.  I have not had a serious injury for awhile.  My friend, Sara in Santa Fe, recently texted that she broke her ankle.  Ouch!  I had flashbacks to my last ankle sprain.  I remember how challenging my high ankle sprain was four years ago.  Two months of my foot in a brace before finally seeing a chiropractor.  I had tried essential oils, acupuncture, massage.  What can I say I am stubborn.  I knew it wasn't broken but what a mess!  I had started a new job when I first sprained it.  Working 10-12 hour days did not help with the healing.  I found a chiropractor that I loved.  He rehabbed my ankle.  I tried dry needling, cryo and a vascular flush.  I trusted his decisions.  He was exposed as a shaman for the Q conspiracy theorists.  I was shocked, saddened and in disbelief.  He never perpetuated any of that hate with me.

I am thankful for the majority of my life experiences.  😆  I have a bunch of stories that seem crazy and could only happen to me.  Ironically, I am mostly drawing a blank, right now, outside of the shaman.  Or there was a time in Chile where I met Shar at a hostel in Santiago.  It was an american run hostel--grand old home that had many fantastic amenities.  Family night where they made delicious food, an abundance of DVD's, a game room.  And an outbreak of bed bugs.  Awesome.

The owner refused to let people know about it and when I approached him he blamed it on peruvians.  Such a dick!  I relocated to another hostel in Valparaiso and met up with Sharleen.  Another american run hostel but completely different vibe.  We stayed at this location for 5 days and befriended a few of our fellow travelers.  Then, one day, we went to the Pablo Neruda house.  Shar and I walked to the house and it took about 45 minutes to get there.  Spent an hour touring the house and returned to our hostel.  Our things had been broken into.  My ipod was stolen, money taken and my bag slashed. I knew it was one of the guys who was staying at the hostel.  He avoided us for the next day until he departed for another destination.  The owner, this time, was more than willing to file a report for us.  He was mortified that there had been a theft in his hostel.

I did appreciate the chiropractor.  I am thankful for upcoming travel, seeing friends, and doing yoga in Santa Fe.  I will pick up more green chile from La Choza.  I may be gifting some to a few friends and clients.  

I am thankful for this beautiful day in Denver.  I need to get up and get outside.  I have been enjoying my morning coffee and being consistent with writing.  If nothing else, I keep moving forward.  Letting go of things I cannot control.  It is freeing.  

What are you thankful for today?  Contemplate it and put it down on paper.  

reflections and sleep

The mind is so powerful.  What do they say--if you think you can, you can. If you think you can't, you won't.  Pretty basic but so true.

I have been in a reflection phase the last few days.  I can't help myself.  My conscious mind is always racing and the subconscious; well, that has a pulse of its own.  Seriously.  In the last three days, two of which, I have slept like complete shit.  The one night that I had no issues I had overindulged.  I should have completely woken up, hourly.

Last night was okay. I chilled on a heating pad for the majority of the night.  Eventually, I moved to my bedroom and slept a solid six hours.  I woke up towards the end.  But it wasn't terrible.  Wednesday night was worse.  Fear, anxiety, insecurities ruled that night.  I woke up after dreaming about experiences I didn't want to have. Or seeing friends that I have not spoken to, in months, appear in restaurants in Santa Fe in my dreams.  Very bizarre.

I can only do me.  I can only focus on what is healthy for me.  Good or bad.  Sometimes, I make terrible decisions.  Honestly, I can only continue to keep it moving forward.  Not obsess or analyze why or why I do not do something.  Be thankful that I am safe and present another day.

Yoga was great this morning.  I am thankful for Jordan who allows us to utilize his space.  It all is an investment.  Laying groundwork and building foundation.   I am appreciative.  As much as I sound like I am beating myself up (or so I think), I did have good news today.  One of my clients texted to say that he enjoyed his dinner at the compound. Meanwhile, a former colleague texted and updated me on her life and travel. She had some nuggets of good insight into my current situation.  I feel that I am leading with the bad but really, I am good.  One of my other clients brought me turkey pot pie and pumpkin pie.  It has been a grand day.

I feel better.  I feel more, at peace, and that I am on the right path.  Just need to keep moving forward and not get hung up in the energy around me.  Sometimes, it is difficult for me to just be.  I tend to take on more and then get resentful when other people step back.  I need to just work and not get hung up with other peoples stuff.  We shall see how it work tonight.

Enjoy your Saturday!

more contemplation

I was gifted the night off and I graciously accepted it.  I was thinking about a way to opt out of work but with my midwestern upbringing, I almost always work.  There is a tremendous about of guilt associated with taking time off.  I knew that I wanted the night off.  That traditionally, the Friday after Thanksgiving is not super busy. Still, I had agreed to work and would have went in had they not let me know that I had the night off.  Sometimes, you need it, though.  I know that I do.

I purchased a heating pad and am currently chilling on my couch. My lower back has been aggravated all day. The joys of getting older. A few months ago, I had a situation where I could have utilized a heating pad.  I lent mine to a friend when he was experiencing hip pain.  It is now his.  

I can give a little context to to the necessity of a heating pad.  I woke up around 3 a.m. and could not get comfortable.  I moved to my couch to try to distract the discomfort but it was not working.  My laptop is in my living room since I moved it out of my bedroom trying to have less distractions at night.  I could not sleep and thought streaming something might help. As I alternated between trying to lay on my couch and walking around my living room, I googled solutions that might help.  They recommended a heating pad, alleve and a few other options.  I put a towel in the oven to make a mock heating pad.  Thankfully, this helped!  I was able to relocate to my yoga mat, place the hot towel on my back and rest with my legs up the wall.  This was seriously the only way to get comfortable.  A few days later, I put the towel back in the oven and fell asleep.  I woke up to my smoke detector going crazy.  I would not recommend that!  It was annoying to wake up to the beeping!  I figure I should avoid a repeat at all costs.  

I am still contemplating and reflecting on life.  I wish I could travel somewhere to avoid my funk.  I know that it won't change anything.  I will still have to deal with my funk when I return.  I am considering a trip to see my friend, Sara.  I need inspiration, I think. Or a flip to my mindset.

Enjoy your night~

Wasting time, maybe?

Worrying is the misuse of imagination.

I saw that on IG this morning and it is perfect.  Especially for where I am at right now.  Yesterday was a great day.  I hiked at Matthew Winters Park, made lunch and caught up with some friends and family.  I had a conversation with someone that I have been wanting to talk to for some time.  It was okay, not fantastic by any means.  Of course, being me, I overanalyze how it went all day and all night.  I did a few shots of tequila and decided to leave a voice message which did not help.  My mind is constantly obsessing.

It was a nonstop loop until I woke up this morning.  I am thankful we spoke and now I can keep moving forward. I can't change how things went or where things are.  I can only know that I am in the right place, right now.  I can choose to move forward or stuck in the situation.  I choose to move forward.

The morning was a loss.  The couch was too inviting until I made myself get up and get outside. I am so thankful I walked City Park.  I managed to talk with my sister for almost and hour!  Typically, we chat on Saturdays bt I had a lot of mind and wanted to sort it out.  It felt fantastic to process and get a little fitness in.  

My health is a priority.  Sometimes, I get in a funk. In the last few months, I think I have been in a funk.  Putting energy into situations that are no longer serving me.  I really need to make myself and wellness a priority.  Speak softly and kindly about what I am doing or trying to achieve.  

The follow up of the IG meme was that two days from now you will realize that everything is fine and will work out.  Why is it normal to create stress by overthinking? I even considered relocating to a different state.  Ironically, my sister asked if I would move to another state today.  I have thought about it, a little.  I would move west.  She asked if I would ever move back to Kansas, lol.  Absolutely not!  That would be moving backwards.

I guess I miss travel and was confused by the current state of affairs with one of my friends.  Lack of communication will do that for.me.  It makes me crazy!  Regardless of the outcome of the conversation, I always feel better talking it out.  Yesterday, so much was left unsaid.  I always tread lightly with this person so that we can keep talking.  In all fairness to me, I should have pressed more for my own mindfulness.  Maybe next time.

I hope you have a fantastic day.  I feel healthier and thankful.

Friendsgiving

What a night!  I arrived at my friend's house.  I was uncertain as to how many people would be joining.  I knew there would be wine.  (and there was).  

There were about twelve people total.  We feasted on steak, shrimp skewers, green bean casserole, brussel sprout salad and mashed potatoes.  Of course there were appetizers and I provided dessert.  And tequila.  I think there were a few dips.  Pretzels, pickles and other snacky types of food.  The only downside was there was not enough seating. Gladly, I would have sat on the floor.  But there were two dogs that made me reconsider that decision.  I did not want to invite temptation to their pooches.  

I stood up at their island and dined on my plate of food.  I was fine and would not have wanted it any other way.  I was in close proximity to water and easy access to wine.  

We chitchatted how we all knew each other.   Most of the people worked with either Dan or Anastacia or knew someone that worked with one of them (like me.  Anastacia was kind and mentioned that she had heard a lot about me before meeting me.  It was kindness, lol.  Then, she recounted our first meeting.  A magnum wine party where we were one of the few women attending. She noted that this year she had not been invited to the limited magnum party.  I, too, was not invited.....lame!)

 I recognized a few people from an earlier luncheon.  There was one guy that had been at the previous summer lunch.  Immediately, he introduced me to his partner. It was lovely.  

I felt comfortable, at ease.  It was easy to fall into the rhythm of the night.  We had some wine and traded stories of service and driving through Kansas.  (never speed as tempting as that flat state is.  Refuse to invite a ticket is the lesson of the evening)

Truly, I enjoyed myself.  The majority of these folks worked at the airport and were younger.  I didn't envy their commute.  I knew it could be relaxing with a book but for the most part, it made for a long day.  I appreciated the inclusion and opportunity to enjoy the holiday.  Tomorrow, I will be working.  Eventually, I could enjoy the holiday but late.  

I'm enjoying a smoothie before heading out to hike.  Always the perfect way to celebrate holidays.  Sunshine, movement, oh and some bubbly!  Have a wonderful celebration!

Holidays

 Holidays are here.

I thought I had a grand plan. I had been assigned the task of bringing dessert to the friendsgiving.  I mentioned that I had little interest in traditional pumpkin or apple pie.  The hostess responded that she wasn't making turkey!  😂

At that point, I decided I could definitely go the unconventional route.  I considered my options.  There is a coffee shop with the best cookies in Denver (in my opinion) or Whole Foods was opening at 6 a.m.  Honestly, that sounded cruel and unusual. Yet, I still considered driving to Cherry Creek after my sunrise yoga class. With further thought, I knew there was a smaller market or greek restaurant.  Both of which offer great carrot cake.

So, I was leisurely this morning.  Taught a few classes and then showered.  I drove to Park Hill to pick up carrot cake. Apparently, I wasn't the only person with this thought.  I walked in, assessed the 30 people in line, and did an about face.  I just couldn't do it.  I couldn't stand in line for 25 minutes for one item. I could feel myself getting claustrophic. 

Instead, I drove to the coffee shop and looked over their baked goods.  Cookies, carrot cake and a few other options.  One person in line in front of me.  Then I could pick and choose what spoke to  me.  Carrot cake, three cookies and waldorf astoria cake (in honor my niece, Emma. I have a picture from her first birthday where she attacks a waldorf astoria cupcake.  That girl loved cake, lol).  Done! No more parking or interacting with people on the hunt for food.

I treated myself to lunch.  I had considered meeting up with one friend.  We had communicated in the morning and than she went radio silent.  Instead of fixating on that, I went to a nearby wine bar and treated myself to a salad.  She and her husband are hosting thanksgiving tomorrow and so I know she has an abundance of stuff to sort through.  However, she could have easily sent a text back.  Regardless.

It was still fairly early.  A good time to pop in and not be too distracted. Ample parking (thankfully) and plenty of seating at the bar.  Within an hour, it started to fill up.  They have a staging area where you can sit or wait for your table.  A group of 8 sat down.  Two ladies in arm chairs and six people across from them.  I watched as each of the six, grabbed their phones and started scrolling.  It was ridiculous.  And it continued.  They, individually, kept staring at their phones.  I watched for, at least, twenty minutes.  Nonstop phone distraction.

Please do yourself a favor--if you are spending time with friends or family during the next few days--be present.  Put your phone away.  Make eye contact. Have a conversation.  Have we learned nothing from the last year?  

We always want what we can't have...a year ago, people were upset about being locked down, isolated and unable to socialize.  This year, we can socialize.  So what is stopping you from being present with your loved ones?  It was interesting to watch.  The gentleman next to me had the same sentiment as I did after I made a point to say something about it.

Take time and enjoy your people!  On a side note--my godparents are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary on the 26th.  My dad brought it up on eight different occasions.  Don't worry. I sent a card.  It totally made me chuckle.

I suppose I am ranting about being present because we can never retrieve time.  So hold your people close, love your life and enjoy good food.

Urban living

 I have been semi-consistent with walking City Park.  It gives me the opportunity to listen to a podcast,get movement and vitamin D.  Multi-tasking at its best.

Today, I opted to walk to Argonaut instead of driving.  I thought I was smart in leaving my house early to head to the market.  It was not early enough!  Already, crowded parking lot and people unable to walk at a fast pace with their shopping carts.  I was a little claustrophobic.  I could not get out of the store fast enough.

To avoid another stressful situation, I chose to walk to Argonaut.  Beautiful day and I had ample choices in my podcasts listening enjoyment.  The way there was uneventful. I encountered a few people walking around the city.  

At Argonaut, I selected a bottle of tequila and a bottle of wine.  I am attending a Friendsgiving tomorrow night and wanted to bring a bottle of tequila to the meet up.  I had told my friend that I would pick out an unconventional dessert and her response was--good, I am not making turkey for the meal.  Tequila seemed like it should be in order.

At any rate, I began my return home.  I walked out of the liquor store and headed east along Colfax.  Immediately, I sensed my mistake.  There were people just hanging out on the street.  I tried to assess my best route--where to cut up to 14th.  Multiple side streets had groups of people hanging out.  I kept heading East with my head up and tried to avoid any conflict.  As I approached Downing, I saw a guy under an awning standing near a tree. His bag was up against the building.  I figured it would be better to walk outside of him instead of against the building.  I walked around the outside and realized that I had narrowly missed him urinating on the tree.  Urban living at its finest!

After that encounter, I veered up a side street and didn't care if I ran into a group of men or not.  I returned to 14th St and felt safer and more at ease.  Not to say that anyone approached me or made me feel endangered.  It just felt like there was an odd vibe on Colfax that I wanted to avoid.

The next day and half could be chaotic.  Be kind.  Try to avoid falling into road rage, grocery cart rage or unpleasantness of any kind.  Maybe bag your own groceries.  I have a new items to pick up in the next day.  Overall, I am ready to just enjoy being around friends and drinking good wine.

I am thankful I did not see the man peeing on the tree.  It did make me smile, still....urban living, lol

Therapy for the mind and body

Happy Monday!  What a glorious day.  I saw something yesterday and it resonated.

Exercising is therapy for the body

Writing is therapy for the mind.

Loving is therapy for the soul.

I agree with all of these sentiments.  Especially the therapy of the mind.  I have felt better getting some thoughts down on this blog and igniting my creativity.  Or I am trying to light that flame.  Focusing on being consistent is definitely helping!

And I am a huge proponent of movement and exercise. Yesterday, I woke up, sluggish.  I did not have coffee creamer in my house and I was too lazy to go buy some.  Or, at least, that is what I told myself in the a.m.  Eventually, I realized how foolish I was being.  The sun was shining and the weather looked amazing.  Why was I hibernating inside when I could enjoy some time outside?

I grabbed my phone and chose a podcast that I was interested in listening to.  I alternate between the Successful Mind, Millionaire Mindcast, Entrepeneurs on Fire and the Side Hustle Show.  All of them are thoughtful, inspiring and empowering.  Sometimes they get a little preachy and their politics creep in.  When I feel that that is the focus of the conversation I tend to skip the podcast for a while.  I enjoy listening to the podcasts but when politics filter in, I lose interest.  

Immediately, my mood improved.  It was like a rush of endorphins and happiness.  I forget how much I enjoy being outside or how it can reset my mood.  No longer did I feel sluggish or stagnant.  I received great news from a client and an invitation to a friendsgiving.  My first response was a resounding yes!  I am excited to celebrate with friends.  I considered canceling due to our association but then thought better of it.  I know them through a friend of mine.  I am focusing on gratitude, kindness and making new memories.

Keep moving forward and forging new collaborations.  Happy Monday!  Spread some kindness and joy.

Yoga indoors and other news

Happy Sunday!  Here is to another absolutely gorgeous day in Denver/ It's remarkable, truly.  How the weather has held up, inspiring me to get outside and enjoy it.

I taught yoga indoors at a local bar yesterday for the first time.  I had arranged this opportunity by chatting with one of the bartenders about the fact that I teach yoga.  Ironically,. he is not the bartender who hosts the sessions. That duty fell on another guy who is gracious, kind and does yoga.  

We planned on a 9 a.m. class.  I arrived fifteen minutes early with no sign of Jordan.  I was a little skeptical.  I don't really know him that well and I didn't want to hassle him.  I sent him a text then called.  I considered my options and realized that we could go back to the park if need be.  Seriously, the weather is that good.  No wind yesterday and the sun was out sharing its brilliance.  Thankfully, he answered and problem solved itself.  

All of my clients moved the tables out of the way to make space and we waited while Jordan set up the space.  He offered to play music and so we listened to 80's music.  He knew that I listened to Prince earlier in the week and was being respectful of my music choices.  

Three men and one woman attended the class.  I loved it!  The music was sort of all over the place but it worked and we created this fantastic energy and heat.  One of my clients commented that it felt like he was taking a heated class and that he wasn't sure he signed up for that.  Opening the front door alleviated stress of that.  I believe we will develop a following and eventually, I will need to find a new space.  Fun times and all because I finally acknowledged my dream.  Of course, there are challenges and hiccups.  I am committed to working through them.

Outside of that, my weekend has been chill.  I had no plans for Thanksgiving except working.  That is the default way of how to spend the holiday.  Seriously, holidays only exist for me after working at whatever restaurant I am working at.  It is fine and I am thankful for work.  I will be fed which is a benefit.  Less need for me to shop and prep.  I made the mistake of going to a market earlier and it has started.  Already people are scrambling to get the goods for Thanksgiving.  I was a little claustrophobic and annoyed.  Quick trip for me!

I hope you have a wonderful rest of your Sunday!  Mine was great.  Unexpected news, gifts and invitations.  I will be heading to a Friendsgiving on Wednesday.  I cannot wait!  Some of my other friends are hosting on Thursday.  I will figure out something to make for Thursday lunch and then head in to work.  I am hoping for good weather and kindness.

Enjoy your Sunday.  Cheers!

Friday, movement and ramblings

Happy Friday!  It is a beautiful day in Denver!  Sun is shining and there is so much possibility in the air.  I love seeing the sun shining bright.

I have a few classes today before getting outside and incorporating movement into my day.  My mood improves and I feel better when I get movement.  I know that I am my own biggest enemy.  The overthinking, constant inner monologue and doubt.  Wouldn't it be easier to return to what I know?  

Baby steps and remembering that each day is a new opportunity to be better.  Today is truly gorgeous outside.  I am trying to met my sandwich digest before heading out to City Park.  I am trying to cook more instead of ordering take out.  Take out is super convenient but I struggle with the portion sizes and ingredients.  I am trying to eat cleaner and dining out defeats that purpose.

I had been pretty consistent during the Pandemic.  I had a walking partner where we walked three to five times a week.  It was fantastic.  We would talk politics, current events and other occurrences in our lives.  I really appreciated those walks with Christine.  Sometimes we would conclude to her patio and enjoy some wine.  I suppose the pandemic enabled more focus on quality time and conversation.  During that time, I think, I saw maybe five people consistently.  And that could be a stretch.  I did have zoom yoga classes but the in person meet ups were confined to maybe five people.  And mostly geared at being outdoors.  Seemed safer to meet people and get movement.

I have kept up the habit, somewhat.  I always feel better when I am consistent with movement.  There is so much transformation going on right now.  I keep telling myself to continue on this path and not fall back into learned habits.  I know it is the right thing for me.  

Maybe I should be meditating more.  Could that help?  At least twice a week, I have restless nights.  Nights where my mind refuses to shut off.  I have listened to a few podcasts where people speak of being able to shut down the brain and enjoy pure sleep.  Like 9 hours of sleep.  I could use that!

Topics swing from finances, work stress, relationships.  All seems to create anxiety for me as of right now.  The work stress outweighs the others but each day, I wake up, and believe it's going to be a great day.  And I have had some fantastic opportunities and new clients in the last month.  I think the holidays are off putting me.  People's schedules are all over the place.  It can be challenging.

I do believe in what I am trying to achieve.  Working for myself and bringing yoga to people.  I hope you have a wonderful day. I am finally ready to get outside and enjoy the day!

gratitude and other reflections

 Gratitude....focus of this month.  

I think I am most thankful for my body scrub this afternoon.  It enabled me two hours of bliss and self-care.  When I arrived, there was one other woman in the facility.  We alternated between the dry sauna and cold splash.  Somehow we managed to avoid the other before my number was called for the body scrub.

I had a moderately productive day before letting it go. This evening was a loss. I dropped flyers off to the bar regarding yoga and then headed to pick up food at one of my favorite italian spots.  I showed up, early, to ensure that I would be able to get a seat at their bar.  Ironically, there were no spots.  The manager offered me a seat and I watched him carry a bar stool across the restaurant with a child in his arms.  The things we do, lol.

I ordered take out and went out fairly early.  I set up my activities to achieve and fell asleep.  I hope it doesn't interfere with my night of sleep.  The last week has been crazy.  Waking up, hourly, or every hour and a half. It is messing with my routine.  I think I am overthinking which is normal.  Typically, I can shut this off but the last few days it has run wild.  I need a switch or way to regulate this.  

Tomorrow there are a few classes and then work.  I am thankful for both.  The classes allow me to express my creativity and build on my dream. I want to share movement with people.  I was working, steadily, until the last month.  The holidays are proving to be a challenge.  Still there is opportunity out there as I am finding.

Working enables supplemental income.  I have struggled to make it work due to my own issues.  I want to work but I want it under ideal circumstances.  That is on me.  I will continue to work on myself as I navigate working.

Blogging is helping me be consistent and thoughtful.  I need both right now.  I am continuing on this path wherever it leads.  As noted, it is easier to fail.  I refuse to do that this time.  Gratitude for life, people, food and water.  I am hoping that yoga this Saturday will be a success!

Double up

 Two posts today.  I was doing well.  Then, yesterday I got a little sidetracked.  Lunch with Roxie, followed by a meet up with Jordan to coordinate Saturday yoga which derailed me.   Originally, Jordan and I texted about meeting at a coffee shop in the morning.  I walked over to the coffee shop at said time and waited.  

Eventually, I reached out to see if he remembered about our meet up. I didn't want to suffocate him but I had cleared my morning to be able to meet with him.  He called me and seemed discombobulated.  He said that he had been covering shifts and so his sleep schedule was off.  I can respect that.  I remember working at bars and getting off at 3 a.m..  You aren't quite ready for sleep and so you stay up.  Maybe have a beverage or two and wake up the next day at noon.  I cannot live like that anymore.  It is way too hard on my body!

He called me after I had arranged a meet up with Roxanne.  We were planning on walking in her neighborhood with their foster dog.  We could day drink at Postino and get Teddy more exposure.  I texted Roxanne that I needed to postpone for an hour or so. Jordan offered to come to my apartment with wine to chat about the Saturday sessions.  I told him I could meet him in 20 minutes and not to worry--I had wine.  I went downstairs to my front porch and waited.  I had my calendar, my phone and a book. Thirty minutes pass and he has not shown up.  I figure he fell back asleep.

I text him to suggest meeting later that I needed to run some errands and get stuff done.  He calls me to see where I am and when we can meet.  Seriously, I believe he was sleep walking.  I do get it.  Sleep deprivation is a real thing.

Eventually, we meet but it threw off my day.  It threw off my desire to write.  Instead, I met him, we ended up bar hopping in my hood (which was fantastic by the way).  We stopped by the Middleman and To the Wind.  I miss the impulsiveness of going to a random bar or restaurant.  I am conditioned to make reservations, post pandemic.  It ensures getting a seat, lol.  

Last night was fantastic!  We stopped into To the Wind and tried to get a seat at their bar.  They told us we had 10 minutes but to sit down and they would take care of us.  I miss that!  I love the spontanaeity!

I have some things to attend to.  I did manage to make my new flyers for Saturday yoga events.  I will drop them off and figure out the rest of my day.  I feel blissful and free.

definition of success

I listened to a podcast earlier and the guy was questioning how people define their success.  He laid out ten principles that made him feel successful.  Financially, family, health and wellness, etc...I can maybe think of five.  Perhaps more, but definitely five.  

It sparked inspiration.  How do I define success?  
I do not lead a conventional lifestyle. I suppose that would be a tenet for me.  The ability to navigate life without adhering to the traditional garb--marriage, kids, white picket fence.  Upon reflection, I realize that my first belief of success relates to being able to purchase a beverage with a meal.  I grew up in a family of six.  Rarely did we go out to lunch or dinner.  If we did, we could order water.  More often than not, we would share items (for example, chinese food) and our choice of beverage was limited to water.  Dining out was the treat. We didn't need to spoil it by having a soda.

When I went to college and was able to order a glass of wine with lunch ***when I was 21*** I felt like I had arrived.  I was successful.  I could rely on myself.

Second tenet of success--my health.  I have good health and can enjoy it.  I am fortunate in this arena and I work at it.  I wake up, hydrate massive amounts of water and try to eat clean food.  Of course, I have cheat days and meals.  I drink wine.  It doesn't contribute to my success but it helps with my stress level and overall well-being.  Drinking wine is social, connecting people and enjoyable.

The ability to travel has always been a way I measure success.  Travel has been and will continue to be essential in my life.  I have slowed down due to the pandemic.  I haven't flown since March of 2020 which seems strange.  Just haven't been that inspired to go fly somewhere and encounter restrictions of where to go or where to eat.

I am successful (I think) with my friends and family.  I try to communicate as effectively as possible.  Most of the time, it isn't easy.  Hard conversations have to be had though if you truly want a friendship and/or relationship.  You cannot gloss over things that are important to you.  

Financially, I am healthy.  I could be better.  I know this.  Still, I have the flexibility to choose the path I am on.  Currently, a touch of struggle due to the uncertainty of where this leads.  But isn't that what makes it exciting?

I listened to another podcast and the guy mentioned that we all limit ourselves when we allow doubt to filter in.  It is so true and difficult to not let it filter in.  It starts small and sort of festers.  This pertains to my financial health.  I need to recognize that I am in a good place and can get better.

I believe in giving back to the community.  It is more rewarding to give anonymously or so I think.  Doing it with no tit for tat.  

How do you define success?  What inspires you?  How are your tenets of success unique to you and your lifestyle?  I could think more on it.  I am a tad bit distracted by my event this evening.  I wanted to write.  My morning was incredibly productive and then it slowed down at lunch.  I have tasks to manage before hosting a happy hour.  I need to focus on that!

Happy Tuesday.  As always--celebrate, enjoy and taste life~

Gratitude and other reflections

 I love November.  I always have. To me, it represents gratitude and a reason to express gratitude.  Maybe even be kinder, nicer, more gracious.  

I wrote about consistency the other day.  In one area of my life, I have been consistent with my Monday Motivation posts.  I started them during the pandemic as a way to hold myself accountable for pursuing being my own boss.  I could share stories, ideas and thoughts every Monday.  As that has evolved, it has taken on a life of its own.  This month, for example, I am posting about things I am grateful for--friendships, my new metal butterfly and wine lunches with friends.  I feel I am finding my voice and feel more comfortable sharing it.  I am not so concerned about what other people think or what they will say.  I am trying to be honest with where I am at in life.

Sometimes it feels like one step forward, two steps back.  Why is it so much easier to self-sabotage than to keep momentum going?  Is it all related to fear?  Or doubt?  Or guilt?  I really don't know. I do see some patterns emerging currently.  I need to set healthy limits so that I do focus on what is important to me.  And I need to continue to be positive and honest about what I want.  If I need to say no to a lunch date because I don't feel going, I need to do it. Or, if I pick up a book and know that it isn't for me, I need to put it down instead of forcing myself to read it.  This current book I was gifted is awful.  Run on sentences.  Run on sentences and I still cannot get into the story.  I think I have slogged through forty pages.  I need to release it to one of free libraries in my neighborhood.  I just don't think I can do it.

I have gratitude to realizing my boundaries. Better yet, my need to establish boundaries.  Save my energy and focus.  I have my final yoga happy hour tomorrow and I cannot wait!   I went shopping for supplies this morning and will be able to do the prep work tomorrow.  I am relying a little more on dips and charcuterie than I had in the past.  I also had a partner that was creative and mindful about dishes he prepared.  

I am learning to be more confident in this arena.  The group yoga does not terrify me like it once did. I hope to teach more group classes as a matter of fact.  Something to focus on for 2021.  Finding a space to offer groups classes and happy hour.

 Now, I am worried about the appetizers I bring.  I am bringing foods that I think are tasty and a little diverse.  More cheese than I would like to offer but just because I don't enjoy dairy doesn't mean that other people do not.  I have my standard veggie tray and a few other easy creations.  Wine and tequila to distract if the food is not adequate.

Only time will tell.  Tomorrow will be fantastic. I am thankful for the place that I am in right now.  Thankful for the opportunity to reflect and be tranquil.  What are you thankful for today?

Sunday reflections

Each day, we choose how to spend it.  Positively or passively. For me, positively translates to being active, productive and mindful.  Passively isn't necessarily negative but it is more of an existence setting.  I tend to do an in between mix of the two some days.  This morning, for example.  I woke up with the intention of meditating, reading and reflecting.  I got sidetracked while making making my smoothie.  New smoothie combination--pineapple, blackberry, pear, cucumber, beet, kale, turmeric and yogurt.  Not the prettiest color but tasty.  

In the last few weeks, I have been utilizing my blender. I feel healthier when I begin my day with a smoothie as opposed to eggs.  I go through phases where I make the same things for breakfast.  For some time, I have been relying on scrambled eggs, corn tortillas and salsa or chile of sorts. I do love green chile!  However, I am trying to change up my routines and alter my caloric intake.  I have felt sluggish since my birthday.  Perhaps due to wine lunches or eating things I had cut out of my diet in an attempt to maintain my weight.  Almost five years ago, I found a trainer that I adore.  She is a great balance of nutrition and working out.  She inquired about eating habits by having me journal for five days.  I was surprised by how crappy I was eating.  I would make a salad with avocado, blue cheese crumbles and dressing.  I wasn't really concerned about the amount of cheese or oil I was putting in the salad either.  Courtney suggested being moderate and eating clean.  She also always harps on me about drinking wine.  I am unwilling to give that up so I made modifications with food.  I decreased dairy.  Initially, I thought it would be difficult to give up cheese but found it easy, surprisingly.  I hesitated to cut out half and half for my coffee.  I didn't like rice milk.  Soy milk was tolerable and I was having difficulty embracing coconut milk.  After a time, I found I enjoy almond milk and the combination of coconut and oat or almond.  

Cutting out cheese was easy.  I could make modifications while dining out with others.  If they wanted a cheese tray, I could graze on the almonds, fruits or whatever else was included with it.  Don't get me wrong, I still do eat cheese at times.  I like caesar salads--so there is that.  I cut out my love of lobster mac and cheese and other comfort food driven sides.  I feel better and do not feel guilty drinking wine.

I was making progress until the last few months.  I have eaten pizza, scalloped potatoes, mashed potatoes, etc. recently since that is what is being offered at the restaurant.  It is more convenient to eat what is made after working a shift then go home and try a healthier option.  Typically, I am tired and just need some fuel. The pizza last weekend was a huge mistake.  I woke up to a food coma!  I will not make that mistake again.  I will force myself to abstain.   Choosing a smoothie to start my day offsets (a little) if I do eat something that I normally wouldn't choose due to convenience.  And not every day does the restaurant make foods I don't want to eat.  Many nights, they will make a salad with salmon for me.  I love that!

I have some show on in the back ground and am uninspired to read.  My friend, Adriana, gifted me a book that she had read.  When I asked if if was good, she hesitated. I suppose that is all I needed to know.  As much as I want a new book to delve into if the writing isn't good, than I struggle to finish it.  I picked it up to read a few pages and I think I am not going to be a fan.

I am trying to reflect (be consistent, so far, so good.  day #4).  I think it is helping me reset my mindset and keep my energy up.  Keep moving forward and avoid being stagnant.  Money will always be there.  I cannot get back time.

Have a wonderful day!  Maybe do a mix of positive and passive.  It is Sunday!

Saturday musings

Good morning!  Happy Saturday.  Looks like it is shaping up to be a wonderful day to get outside and enjoy some sunshine.  I have about 45 minutes before I will be teaching yoga at a park. I am so thankful for this opportunity to teach group classes.  When I started teaching, I was hesitant to teach more than one person at a time.  It seemed easier to assess what the client was looking for.  I didn't have to meld styles or make too many modifications if I focused on one client at a time.

Over time, friends want to introduce you to other people that might be interested in yoga and so I expanded my classes.  I incorporated more people and got comfortable with that setting.  I enjoyed it and making it work for each individual.

My first group class of five people made me nervous.  I didn't know any of these ladies and I was terrified!  What if they didn't like me?  What if that I didn't like my music selection or style?  I was so nervous when I entered the classroom.  

It all worked out and I find myself here. I find myself looking forward to my Saturday session and have loved that I can teach outside.  There is something about laying on the earth during savasana.  That connection and absorbing energy.  Truly rejuvenating!  

This morning will be a small class.  One of my clients just texted that her new puppy woke up at 4:30 and they have been unable to sleep since then.  I am bummed on a few levels but I do understand how important sleep is.  I had a horrible night of sleep on Tuesday.  I woke up around 12:30 and was restless until I forced myself up at 5:30. I didn't want to miss another sunrise yoga session.  The opportunity to be outside and get movement is what I am bummed about for her.  It will be til next year that I am able to offer classes outside.

The class went well.  3/4 of the way through the wind picked up and made it a little challenging to balance. Instead of forcing something, I altered the sun C to make it more approachable.  

Since then, I am trying to be reflective and present.  I could have picked up lunch.  Ramen sounded good or posole.  I remembered that I have red and green chile from Santa Fe.  I should enjoy that!  

I keep seeing posts about being creative, singing, dancing or expressing yourself in ways that we sometimes forget.  We forget how to be joyful or youthful, almost, it seems.  Cutting loose without using a substance.  Listening to music and adding movement sounds amazing.  Yesterday, I had a personal training session.  This was the first time in over a year that multiple trainers were on site offering sessions.  The trainer with a different session was playing the worst music.  I really couldn't handle it.  Rage music.  Pure yelling with no beat or rhythm. Thankfully, it was only fifteen minutes of hell.  

I need to cut this short.  Get outside and enjoy the sun before working tonight.  May you have an excellent day~

Reading, making changes and reflecting

 My friend, Lindsay, gave me a book for my birthday.  Natural Causes, by Barbara Ehrenreich, and although I was intrigued by the title, I stuck it under a stack of clutter on my coffee table.  Folders, yoga prep, yoga journals, other books, etc. scattered around my work space.  I tried to get into a finance book but couldn't do it.  I think I am actually going to have to take a timer and force myself to focus on that task.  

I prefer reading fiction or subjects that interest me.  Finance should be of interest.  It is. Just not something that I set aside time to read about.  I struggled to get interested and considered my other options.  What other books do I have lying around?  I picked up Natural Causes and did not want to put it down.  It is interesting and most of it did resonate with my thoughts regarding health, the medical industry and pharmaceuticals. I am still reading it so I won't say much more on the topic.  Outside of the fact that I am enjoying it.  And it is helping me focus on some of the changes I hope to make.  Less watching, more doing. 

I recognized last week, I rarely walked City Park. The weather was not awful so there was no reason to not walk.  I think I was in a funk.  It was easier to be social to avoid dealing with some of the internal stuff.  I could meet up for a wine lunch to distract myself from being sad.  I hope to rectify a situation with a certain someone soon (as noted in an earlier post. However, I cannot rush this.)  Instead of reaching out to him, I tried to not think about it.  I believe that we will talk soon.  Patience is becoming a virtue.  

This break also allows me time to focus on my goals.  Health, wellness, investing, having a positive mindset, writing, doing more, thinking less.  I know my patterns.  It is always easy to return to what is known.  I have my entire life.  I can revert to this pattern of working for other people and take time off for me.  Rinse.  Recycle.  Repeat.  

I have benefitted from this, too.  The flexibility of my schedule enabled a life well traveled until the last year and a half.  But the service industry is hard on the body.  At least for me it is.  I am so thankful for my health and I continue to work on it.  

Ironically, the Natural Causes book eventually addresses smoking.  I have never been a smoker.  I know people find it relaxing.  It never appealed to me.  And I have worked with hundreds of people who never missed a smoke break, lol. The most apparent irritation with that aspect of that was when I worked at the airport. I would be done, ready to clock out and bounce but a few co-workers needed a smoke break before I was able to leave.  Always a 20 minute endeavor, at least.  I think I was probably the most resentful of smokers at that job.  

It is a beautiful day in Denver.  I am thankful to be outside, reflect and plan.  Making small changes daily does help. Day #3 of blogging.