Moving forward

Focus on your health.  Mental, emotional or physical.  Last night hearing that the healthcare subsidies will not be extended was a gut punch.  There was no reason to vote to fund the government without having any concessions.  I do not understand why we are paying taxes.  Taxes for what?  We are currently losing rights and services that benefit everyone.  Yes, we should be taxed to secure infrastructure.  But this healthcare loss is huge.  People will lose coverage and die.

As a result, my sleep was basically nonexistent last night.  All of this year I have struggled with sleep.  I realized today that I need to shift my perspective.  These people will do nothing to help us.  They are only interested in funding their own lives.  I cannot rely on them to do the right thing.  Clearly, they choose self-interest over community good each time.  Taking away SNAP benefits from states that have released them is ridiculous.  Truly, they hate poor people.  

I love the hypocrisy of being pro-life.  Pro-life to save every child.  But then you strip away food benefits, childcare, healthcare.  What is the point?  Setting up people for a life of servitude that only benefits the oligarchs.  It is gross.

I need to find a way to wrap my head around what will be coming.  I am healthy, physically.  Mentally, I need to make some changes.  I need to sleep and heal my body.  More meditation since I do not think I can sustain much longer.  Lack of sleep is a real thing.

There have been some positives this year.  I am more connected to my neighbors.  I know more than just their names.  I have shared food with several of them and next week I am co-hosting a dinner.  I have ways to give back to the community that keep me accountable.  I am matching funds from wine lunches and contributing them to the food bank this month.  Supporting local restaurants, coffee shops and walking along Colfax.  If you live in Denver, you know how difficult it is to drive on this street currently.  They are building a bus line in the middle of the road.  They keep changing lanes to build the lines.  I think the project will take two and a half years.  

The road construction is killing local businesses.  There are a few that seem to be thriving--a liquor store and take out Thai spot.  Due to proximity to corner lots and some parking.  I am thankful for the businesses that are open.  A few coffee shops, pizza parlors, sushi.  Support your local spot.  Build your community.  Stop funding convenience.  Be it data, chain restaurants or big stores.  They do not care about you or your needs.  They want your money.  Stop buying into the system that continues to screw you over.

Hope

Finally feeling a little better about life.  Yesterday was more than a glimmer.  It displayed that there are many people who do not agree with this administration or supporting the oligarchy.  That working class people want the government to represent their needs not only tax them to fund tax cuts for the billionaires.  I have attended a few protests in the last year and saw a rupture in the belief in the mandate of November 2024.  

I watched Mamdani's speech last night.  What an incredible human being.  Gifted orator and represents everyone.  I am thrilled that he won his mayoral race.  He will face many challenges, and it will be an uphill battle.  Still, I think he accomplishes more than is anticipated.  

Something about him and learning from other people's mistakes and inability to push through legislation.  I remember in 2008 when Obama won.  Where I was watching the election results and how hopeful I was for his presidency.  I voted for him twice and if he were to run, again, I would support him.  I think he would be able to achieve more now.  I don't know.  I am rambling but hopeful.  Hopeful for all of the women that were elected.  All of the diversity that is visible.  We need representation from each group of people, not only white men.  I am horrified by the number of white women who continue to vote against their own interests.  Not only their interests, but their daughters and granddaughters.  It makes no sense.  Still, my generation doesn't waiver.  There is still 45-49% support for this dipshittery.  The promotion of the Handmaid's Tale.  It doesn't make any sense to me.  Why would you promote stripping rights you have enjoyed from future generations or you moving forward?  Do women not understand the end game?  Putting us back in the home without any financial autonomy?  

Yesterday displayed that people are paying attention.  Denver voted to tax the rich to provide free breakfast and lunch to all students.  We should all be supporting this measure.  In every town and city.  We voted for a new direction.  Not more of the same by electing Zohran Mamdani.  By electing women to lead states.  Times are changing and people are willing to support different ideas.  It is not business as usual.  Finally, people are listening to AOC and Bernie.

I had the opportunity to attend their meet up in Denver.  30,000-35,000 attended.  It was amazing.  

Let's build on this.  Make politicians accountable for their votes.  Stop enabling tax cuts for the wealthy because you are afraid of someone you don't understand or know.  They pit us against each other.  They laugh at us for not pushing back.

Why is it that suddenly there is compassion if it affects you directly?  Let's build and be hopeful.

Gratitude

This is the month of gratitude in my opinion.  If you are able to donate to a food bank, please do.  If you are able to share with your neighbors, that is an option as well.  We should be building community instead of trying to remain individualistic.  

I forget that I am not alone.  This past year has proven that.  More and more recently.  There are more like-minded people who do not agree with this current administration or what they are trying to achieve.  Pushing a religious agenda on people.  Taxing the working class and not providing anything that supports the tax.  Why are we being taxed to fund billionaire tax cuts?  What is the end game?  People will stop buying stuff.  How do businesses make money when no one is purchasing?

Better yet, AI is the future, and it is overusing water and electricity.  Taxing the grid but these companies are not confronting this.  Instead, individual consumers are feeling that overuse.  Lack of water, rise of costs and no end in sight.  Who is benefitting from these decisions?  At what point do we stop?  Do we push back and say no?

Why are we allowing these tone-deaf people to continue to rub our faces in it?  Throwing a Gatsby style party while SNAP benefits are cut?  Demolishing the East Wing of the White House when no plans have been approved?  Doing things and not expecting any sort of push back?  When do people push back?  That there isn't support for this corruption.  That not everyone embraces white supremacy.  That diversity isn't rejected.  I drive through small towns that have a church, a post office and depression.  There is no livelihood in these places.  No accepting other cultures or unknowns.  In some ways, I want to be sympathetic.  Maybe you don't know because you don't know any other way.  But, why is that?  Why are you opposed to considering a different perspective, culture, religion?  Why do you think your way is the only way?  

Returning to gratitude, take time to consider how you can be thankful.  I am planning on matching my dining out this month and making a contribution to my local food bank.  Might keep me honest.  Definitely will keep me thankful.

Successful retreat

Yoga retreat was a success!  As much as I could have planned it better, in hindsight, there is never the ideal time to host a retreat.  Some of the feedback I was given was to wait to confirm a place until people have committed.

In theory, that is legit.  I do understand the reasoning, and I tried to do that last year.  However, if I waited for people to commit to it and watched the numbers, I would have convinced myself to wait, again.  I would not have offered the retreat. I do not know how to explain that to someone or justify it.  It only makes sense when you are in it.

Regardless, successful retreat.  Four ladies, Japanese spa, six yoga sessions.  All beneficial.  Terrific food prepared by Chef Tom.  I am so thankful for his presence in my life.  He made breakfast burritos, lox and bagels, sesame crusted tuna, frito pie and individual omelets for the ladies.  I changed up the yoga, offered some adjustments, breathwork and more core.  I think I will offer inversions in future workshops.  I am grateful for the yoga community that supports me.

More later.

Some positive news

Good for the ladies who spoke out today on the white house lawn.  They appeared confident, collected and ready to hold the line.  I was surprised to see MTG as a proponent of exposing the files.  I hope she stays true to her word and that it wasn't a publicity stunt.  To appear as an ally only to screw them over by voting to not release the files.  I am not a huge fan of her, Mace or Boebert.  Maybe this issue is finally the one that they resist the leader's siren call to fall in line.  I hope it is.  Mace is a survivor of sexual assault.  I don't know how she will look in the mirror if she doesn't push their agenda forward.  I'm unclear as to why Boebert is on the side of women, but I'll take it.  We need more congressmen to step up for their constituents.  

The women who spoke were abused and have faced trauma for years.  I applaud them for coming forward and demanding that the government takes them seriously.  That takes gonads.  They spoke their names clearly and told a little of their individual stories.  One of the women was recruiting for Epstein and I am sure that was difficult to admit.  She did it out of fear.  She was 16 at the time.  I am sure that she suffers from her actions of involving classmates to be abused/assaulted by Epstein.  She chose to involve other people to avoid further abuse of herself.  Doesn't sound great but I suppose at the time choosing to avoid abuse sounded like a life line.

They should release the Epstein files.  It is a nonissue.  

Calling it a hoax now is ridiculous.  There was a flyover during the press conference which also seemed interesting.  Trying to drown out the women from speaking.  Moving that monster, Ghislaine, and trying to reframe the narrative is disgusting and typical.  Anyone that was involved in that trafficking ring should be exposed for the predator that they have been and still are.  We should not be protecting people because they have money or power.  They should be held accountable for their gross actions.  There is no justification for taking the innocence from a child.  Or assaulting someone.  The I was drunk, I made a mistake is no excuse for sexually assaulting someone.  They said that one in five women are assaulted at some point in their lives.  I think it is more likely one in three.  I was assaulted when I was forty-one.  I never thought it would happen to me at that age.  And, yes, women are forced to endure unwanted attention on a daily basis.  But, I am not referring to that.  I thought I had escaped the statistics of assault until it happened.  

These women deserve the truth.  One of them stuck out to me that she couldn't remember everything that had happened.  That she had tamped it down as a way to move forward.  She is wanting to know what happened so she can move forward in her life.  

If you have time, call your representative and demand that they stand with these women.  It is time to expose this ring regardless of where it goes.  Follow the money, right?  

I am still hopeful and positive for more good things to come.

Memories

I am eating potato chips, drinking a tequila soda and listening to the Great Deluge--a book about Hurricane Katrina.  I have read Zeitoon, watched Treme and five days at Memorial Hospital, listened to several podcasts and another book about NOLA.  

My first visit to NOLA was in 1998.  I attended Mardi Gras with my friend, the bad Sarah (long story).  We left midterms at KU and drove the with no reservations.  We had a stop in Baton Rouge with my adoptive brother's family.  Malaysian cousins would welcome and host us.  They were incredible.  Three different families that offered us kindness, hospitality and karaoke.  Sarah was allergic to their cats and so we were moved, effortlessly, to one of the other cousin's homes.  The next morning, they followed us into NOLA to make sure that we were safe.  We did not have a hotel reservation or hostel.  Only a belief that we would figure it out.  Not to mention, Sarah's aunt would be in the city.  She attended Mardi Gras annually.  Unlike my adoptive family, Sarah's aunt shamed us for not having made accommodations.  She suggested that we would be sexually assaulted if we stayed in the truck or near the quarter without a hotel reservation.  Reluctantly, she offered us a place on her hotel floor after telling us it would cost her $50 per wrist band.  I told Sarah to handle it as my family had moved us seamlessly with no issue to accommodate Sarah's allergies.

We returned a year later with other friends of Sarah's.  This time we arranged accommodations and had a plan.  We would cab into the city and attend Mardi Gras.  I was with a few gals and few men.  We separated amongst the sexes and took on the quarter.  We arranged a meet up at 10:30 pm at Cafe Du Monde.  We went to Pat O'Brien's for hurricanes.  I remember being solo.  Sarah had grown up with Gina and I was the odd man out.  Cavalier, I thought I would be ok on my own.  They were hanging out and I remember talking to some random guy and him being a little suggestive/aggressive.  I became disoriented.  We had to meet up with the other guys at 10:30 at Cafe du Monde.  We arrived where I threw up crawfish all over the table.  Super classy.  One of my best moments.  Truly, I believe I was rufied at Pat O'Brien's.  To this day, I will not step into Pat O'Brien's.

I love New Orleans.  Always have.

I did visit NOLA in 2008 on a cross-country trip from Florida to Arizona.  My traveling companions were afraid of entering the city.  Freaked out by the visual destruction of the of Gulf Coast.  In 2008, it was still visible from Mississippi to Louisiana.  My friends could not wait to get to Dallas to somewhere we they felt safe.  We stayed between the Marigny and Quarter.  I felt fine.  My friends could not wake up fast enough to escape the city.

I think I am remembering where I was 20 years ago and being astounded by the lack of response for this city.  It is still disgusting how we treated the residents of New Orleans.

This book does not lack of details.  There is FEMA breakdown, communication breakdown between the local and state governments, lack of resources, government incompetence.  I do not think I understood the multitude of what the residents faced from watching the news.   Some of it was sensationalized at the Superdome.  That should not matter.  People were suffering.  No water, food, dry clothing, ability to move outside of where people found themselves.  

I know I am not doing this justice.  I am rambling.  Yet, this is the future of this country.  The climate denial and lack of aid to areas that are hit by hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes, haboobs, etc.  Find your community.  Build upon it.  We are the saviors.  Proven time and time again.

Upcoming events

Why do some people tend to self-sabotage?  Or am I the only one guilty of doing this to myself?  I have ideas and plans.  Talk about them and then struggle to bring them to life.  Sometimes waiting too long or talking myself out of doing them.  I think I have been this way since childhood.  Definitely in college.  I was in a class, senior year, to write a thesis and dissertation.  The requirement was that I attend a nightly class to discuss my thesis and have support amongst my peers.  I hated the class.  Felt uncomfortable and did anything in my power to avoid going to this class.  I felt that I didn't belong with the other history students who seemed more committed to their beliefs.  

Instead of completing the class, I arranged with my advisor to write a paper and not be considered for the dissertation aspect of it.  He would grade my paper instead of the professor in that class.  I was embarrassed by my lack of effort, but I didn't feel I was good enough for that class.  That was a defining moment of my life.  Opting to fail instead of striving for success.  It seemed easier to remain in the bubble of my comfort zone.

I believe I am thinking about that time as I have been curating a yoga retreat for the last few years.  I talked about it last year but didn't put much effort into it.  Timing seemed off and then 2024 was over and a new year had begun.  I didn't want to host a retreat in the winter, and summer could be challenging due to people's travel schedules, then there are holidays, etc.  You understand what I am saying, right?  I was making excuses for not actually putting anything together since it would be easier to fail than try to succeed.

This year I was determined to be different.  I looked at potential dates in June and had an idea of what I wanted to put together.  Still, I hesitated to create the optics to share it with others.  I have clients that are interested but needed more information.  I finally put together a flier with information last Saturday.  I shared it with some of my closest friends to have them look it over and make suggestions to what information I was missing.  After a few back and froths I composed the flier and just released it on my social media.  I was hoping to share it here, too.  For some reason, I am finding difficulty uploading the graphic from an attachment.  I will need to look into that.  Tre yoga retreat is in Santa Fe October 9th-12th, 2025.  Accommodations located near the plaza/Ft. Marcy Park.  Yoga offered twice daily with some free evening to enable exploration of the City Different.  I love Santa Fe--the food factor, history, mysticism, galleries, culture.  Truly it is one of a kind.

Regardless, I am putting it out there and am ready to do some different.  Ready to believe in myself and see what is possible instead of what I have always thought.  Easier to remain in the comfort bubble.  Time to move beyond it.