Week in Review

 I was feeling fantastic participating in the six-month aryuvedic program.  I had eaten the one pot meals around the same time, daily.  I had minimized my water intake while eating and instead tried to focus on digestion and removing toxins from my body.  That is, until last Wednesday.  

What happened on Wednesday you ask?  Well, there is a gas leak in my building which I found out about at 1:45 pm.  (Of course, I had a catering in an hour and fifteen minutes to consider).  My landlord informed me that they would have to shut off the gas and hot water until the gas leak was fixed.  She suggested that I shower if I needed to shower.  That gas would be off for a minimum of two days.  

Sounds terrific, right?  Keep in mind the temperatures were hovering around twenty and on Thursday decreased to eight degrees.  No heat.  No opportunity to shower or cook food.  I asked her if she would be rehousing us since the current situation was inhabitable.   Her response--if you make me.  She is unaffected since she has a separate gas line to her apartment.  The rest of us tenants would have to freeze while the gas leak continued.  

In addition, she told one of my neighbors that he could go to good will to purchase a space heater if he wanted to.  He had requested some sort of relief to the cold.  He told her that it was her responsibility to provide space heaters or some sort of relief.  Think about that.... buy a used space heater.  What could possibly go wrong?  Instead of freezing in the apartment, electrical fires could burn the entire place down?  Smart idea?!?!  

Since Wednesday, I have been staying with a friend.  I need to be able to function as an adult. I need access to showers and eating.  And it is incredibly cold in my apartment.   My landlord offered her place as a remedy to the cold.  We could use a sleeping bag to sleep on the floor, use her shower and have some hot tea.  It is incredulous that she suggests this as a solution.  I feel like I am being treated like I am squatting when, in fact, I am paying rent.  Rent to her which qualifies me to certain protections.  Having access to heat, water, feeling safe/secure.

Due to that disruption of my routine and mental health, I have veered from the aryvdic program.  I drank some wine with my friend, Brie.  I have managed to heat healthy--some modifications.  But, for the most part, I have followed the program.  I have not drunk coffee in nine days which is huge in my world.  I love coffee.  Especially while working early morning events which happened on Thursday.  

I participated in a group call which is another benefit of this program.  Connecting with other women who are also attempting to reset their hormones with this program.  They offer daily calls hosted by former participants.  I was able to pop in but felt distracted.  I didn't realize how much being uprooted from my apartment would affect me.  I am fortunate to be at my friend's home, but I still lack the comfort of my routine or safety of the space I have created.  

I know there will be days and weeks that will go well and other times when I will struggle.  I am trying to be hopeful and realistic.  Feeling grounded will help.  I am hopeful that the gas leak gets fixed early next week.  On Friday, the inspection failed which extended my stay at my friend's home.  I wish I could do more for one of my neighbors.  However, I do not feel comfortable asking my friend to allow him to shower at her house.  And I don't agree with using the shower at my landlord's place.  That is not a solution.  She should be offering to put us up in housing until the gas leak is cleared.  We pay her rent to live in a safe place with heating, access to water and other basic rights.  This week proved challenging.  Yet, I made a few modifications and feel decent about where I am at within the program.  Sure, I could be doing more of the homework and eliminating wine.  I need to improve on that, lol.  

Day 5 reflections

I am still not sleeping great.  That is not due to the aryuvedic lifestyle.  Instead, it is stress.  Stress of what is currently happening in my world.  I know that I am not the only one suffering but sometimes I feel that I am alone in this.  That I am overreacting.  

Surprisingly, the no caffeine was less of an issue than I thought it would be.  I have drunk coffee since I was a wee child, lol.  My grandma Rita drank coffee every day.  I remember staying at her house during summers.  Typically, we would be dropped off at her house in Iowa for two weeks every summer.  She was strict, church going, loving and consistent.  Always drinking coffee out of the blue cups.  I remember her telling me that drinking coffee would stunt my growth.  Somehow that never deterred me.  I have been a lifelong coffee drinker.  

Most of the catering folk drink energy drinks.  Multiple times I have been offered an energy drink which I always refuse.  Now they know I solely drink coffee or hot tea.  

So, to give up coffee seemed unimaginable.  Yet, so far, I have done it.  Hot tea is a great alternative.  I have an assortment of teas to choose from or I have been curating my own.  I have cinnamon sticks, ginger, bay leaves, cloves, etc.  

The lack of alcohol has been manageable.  I know there will be breaks from that.  I will not give up wine for six months (which is required of the program).  There is a trip to celebrate Brian's 19th anniversary, a trip to the Willamette Valley with Tom and possibly other days of celebration.  Tonight, for example, I am hosting a yoga happy hour.  I had been on the fence about whether or not I would be imbibing with my clientele.  I decided yesterday that I would.  I believe in solidarity and community.  As above noted, I have not been sleeping and feel that I am all alone in this, at times.  I want to participate with my community.  Plus, I am making frito pie (which I love) and gougeres--both of which are not on my approved foods list.  

We will see how that food affects my body and how I am feeling.  I know that the alcohol and spicy foods will inflame my body.  

I have been waking up and feeling energized.  Productive and capable.  That is something that I can build on and see flourish.  In addition, aryuveda focuses on digestive health.  Meaning, it is suggested to stop drinking any liquids thirty minutes before the meal, no drinking during the meal and for sixty to ninety minutes afterwards.  Seems like a long time to not drinking water, but it makes sense for gut health.  I believe long term that will truly make a difference in how I am feeling.  

I feel that it will be more of a no buy six months focusing on creating meals at home.  Only buying what is necessary to craft meals that I can eat.  It will be interesting and something that I have never done.  I have worked in the restaurant industry forever.  I am very adept at getting takeout or dining out.  I love the social aspect.  There is about five places in my rotation.  I have cultivated relationships with some of the bartenders.  I love dining out.  I will miss that aspect of my life.  However, it's only six months.  I can make it work.

More reflections as I progress.  Make it a beautiful day.

Day 1 completed and thoughts

As noted yesterday, I am embarking on a reset of my hormones and metabolism (realistically).  For too long, I tried to handle the situation believing I could do it on my own.  I would do okay for a few days and then revert to the normal routine.  I was drinking lemon water, a hot tea tincture, juicing and coffee to start my day.  

The program suggests beginning your day with hot water and sipping it.  Four to five quick sips to activate the toxins start to release.  It will be weird to not juice since I have been juicing for the last three years and maybe I will reincorporate that to make up for the no caffeine rule that I am embarking on.  Still undecided on how that is going to work out.  Alcohol, of course, will be challenging to some degree.  I am a social being.  I enjoy having wine with friends.  I know that I can do it.  I have in the past taken months off.  It has never been attractive to me to feel reliant on a substance.  Any substance.

Aryuveda teaches a holistic approach to healing the body.  Meaning, no substances.  When you break it down like that, it does make sense.  I woke up, clear headed and with a productive vibe.  Hence this early morning post as opposed to when I typically get around to writing my thoughts down.  It is something about getting a good night of sleep and not waking up feeling foggy, heavy or sluggish.  

I bought a few books and a pair of body gloves to activate the lymphatic system.  I think they arrive on Tuesday (if not before).  The gloves will be added to the regime with the body scrub.  I love the service at Havana Spa in Aurora.  It is one of the best ways to embrace self-care.  Utilize the saunas, tubs and purchase a service.  They offer a variety.  I tend to enjoy the body scrub/massage combination the most.  It takes an hour.  About thirty minutes of body scrub, quick rinse, and then return for a full body massage.  Sometimes they wash your hair.  I don't know if they are offering that since it seemed to not be offered during the pandemic.  

At any rate, I am feeling rested.  I am feeling hopeful in spite of the chaos that wants to bring me down.  It is stunning what they are attempting to do and just see how people respond/react.  And, still, there are people not paying attention.  Ignorance is bliss.  

Try to find joy and peace.  My intention is to be informed and active.  There are ways to get involved and push back on the majority of what is trying to be jammed down our throats.  It is overwhelming and challenging.  I have struggled, immensely, trying to stay positive.  I think one of my sisters' fears talking to me since she knows that I am listening to podcasts and I have projected on her multiple times about the necessity of securing plan b's for her daughter, her daughter's friends, any other woman that might need it.  I can't help it.  I am passionate about protecting women's rights.  I am concerned about the endgame of where this is heading.  Women not being able to make any choice for themselves or their healthcare.

Still, I need moments to take a break.  I need to dance and remember that there is joy in life.  I have support.  I have access to clean water, shelter and the opportunity to cook for myself.  I am thankful for that.  

Testing out new recipes will occur as well.  That will be fun.  Not using garlic or onions will be difficult.  Not going to lie.  I love garlic but it is too inflammatory for me currently.

I will continue to reflect on the changes I am going through and how the program is affecting me.  Thank you for listening & Happy Saturday!

The beauty of aging

Approaching the dreaded menopause and seeing how my body is changing.  It is not for the weak, lol.  I have been trying to manage it with some moderation of drinking wine, exercising and have looked at a few schools of thought when it comes to dealing with this.  There are many people bringing forth pills or tinctures.  In moments of desperation, I have considered checking one of them out.

Recently, I found an aryuvedic practitioner on social media.  Her reel made sense and offered solutions.  Over the course of a few days, I seemed to come across Jennifer frequently.  I attended a virtual masterclass and decided to follow up with her on a zoom call to learn more details about her program.  Six months of resetting hormones, naturally.  Healing the body by removing substances.  I drink wine and other spirits, dairy, caffeine, chocolate.  In addition, there is my love of spicy foods, garlic and onions that seem to inflame my body.  This will be an interesting six months.  

Thankfully, she is realistic and knows that women will have some setbacks.  I know that I will.  There is the celebration with Shari that is upcoming.  This year marks the 19th year since Brian died.  In some ways it feels like yesterday and others, I cannot believe it has been nineteen years.  Plus, there is an upcoming wine trip with Tom and his board members.  Both of these will happen during the six-month window.

Years ago, when I was considering adding to my yoga repertoire, I reached out to one of my mentors in Santa Fe.  Paige felt it would benefit me, greatly, if I did a forty-day cleanse.  In addition, she recommended that I did not drink for a year.  I explained to Paige that that would be unlikely.  I enjoy drinking wine.  Looking back on what she was offering, it is very similar to what I just signed up for.  I am in a different place in my life which is what is motivating me to try this.  I am not enjoying having my hormones out of whack.  Stress is making it worse.  My sleep is nonexistent most nights.  Thankfully, my symptoms are minimal at this point.  I know there are some women who experience more of them and feel terrible.  I won't bore you with my cycle only to say that is has increased in days and volume.  

I believe this aryuvedic approach will be beneficial.  I might get bored of the food and similarities.  But I know that I cannot continue on this path.  I need to feel better in my body.  

Today was the first day I practiced this lifestyle change.  Then I realized that I should have prepared for this moment.  I cannot wing it and think everything will be okay.  I did have some supplies on hand--ghee, coriander seeds, turmeric, ginger, lentils and basmati rice.  I need to better prepare to actually make a go of this.  

I am hoping that my sleep will improve and that my other symptoms will minimize and decrease.  I want to age gracefully.  The stress thing needs to be addressed.  Although it seems that daily, I am pushed to the brink on my sanity levels.  I am confident that that will improve soon.  I feel the energy shifting.

Thankful Thursday

Trying to feel some sort of goodness and minimization of the amounts of stress and anxiety that I have been experiencing for the last three and a half months.  

It is insanity.  Crushing.  Intense.  

Designed that way.  I understand this.  Still, while living in it, it is overwhelming, discouraging, debilitating.  But I see cracks in this administration.  I see that people are unifying and uniting to say no to what they are proposing.  It wasn't a mandate.  It never was.  There were more people that didn't vote for him.  They stayed home to show their displeasure for Gaza and the choices they were presented.  

How is that working out?

Egg prices have increased.  Gas prices are up.  They want to take over the Gaza Strip which is insulting to every Palestinian.  Making it so cavalier to just go in and take it over.  ***This is insanity and not supported by what people voted for.  Yes, they voted to showcase their base needs (misogyny, racism, sexism) but they also elected this man to not enter war.  They raved about how he wasn't a war hawk during his first term.

Yet, now, the mandate is force the Palestinians to relocate, rehome.  Having no sympathy/empathy for these people who have endured immense pain, torment, assault for years.  It wasn't only 10/07.  There has been a conflict since 1948.  I don't think many people understand the amount of hatred that exists between the Israeli's and Palestinians.  Then, we come in to just act like a wrecking ball.  There is no sympathy for the Palestinians in the current administration's mind.  They want to profit off of this with no regard for all of the blood that has been split.  No regard that this is their homeland.  They only look to benefit off of the beachfront property.  Again, illustrating their hatred of people, they do not understand.  

I see protest, power and unity.  The halftime show was powerful.  I recognize that many people were tuned out since they didn't understand it.  It wasn't about being entertained.  It wasn't about placating Caucasians.  They were unwilling to delve into the messaging or consider being uncomfortable with what was being delivered.  Still there is a curiosity now.  Curiosity to see what the messaging was.  Maybe a way to connect, support, solidify.

Do what feels right for you whatever that lane is.  But do not remain silent.  Do not comply.  Do not willing fully give away your rights.  Your rights to feel seen, happy and able to choose liberty.  I know that sounds hokie and silly.  I get it.  I do.  I feel that liberty has been stripped away from us.  But, underlying all of this crazy is the knowledge that there is a movement being built.  A movement rejecting what the patriarchy is trying to retain.

Be hopeful.  Be bold.  Be YOU

refuse to accept this

 Hello.  I want you to understand that this is not normal.

We cannot resist in the normal ways of the past.

Even if you refer back to Vietnam.  It is a nonissue.  People do not respond or recognize that this war was unjust.  Unwanted.  RESISTED.

Instead, people voted for a man who said he resisted war.  He pulled us out of Afghanistan.  (yes, that was his policy that Biden's)

Now, we are be assaulted.  Every front.

Why?  To wear us down.  

They know if we are overwhelmed, we cannot focus.  We cannot group together or pledge allegiance to a common goal.   

They hope we are divided.  

RESIST.

They want us to avoid their focus.  

Power in numbers.   Solidarity.  

If you don't understand the Halftime show from Kendrick Lamar, google why it is relevant.  I am being lazy right now.

He performed.  He showcased.  He reminded people about colonization, resistance and solidarity.

Wake the fuck up.  Stop choosing oligarchs who care nothing for you.

Saying yes

Year of the snake.  The year of shedding skin, shedding former beliefs and moving forward.  Moving into new spaces that typically I would avoid.  

Never in my life have I reached out to my state representative or senator.  Either I have been disengaged with what is going on or I have been fine with policies in place.  Until now.  I have not felt this attacked on multiple levels in my life.  Approaching Inauguration Day, I had anxiety.  I tried to block it out with believing that since we didn't know, maybe it would not be that bad.  Perhaps they would not do anything that they promised to do in the campaign of 2024.  In the last week, I have called my state representative and senator for the last four days.  It felt weird on the first day.  I felt that I wouldn't know what to say and it might be easier to let other people do the work.  There are so many available scripts to help make people feel more at ease.  I am so thankful for that and becoming more confident with my own words.  Telling my own story with my words and how I am impacted by these changes.  By these policies that will affect me and everyone in this country.  Perhaps by varying degrees, but we will all be affected.  

I fear for my friends that are gay and lesbian.  I know that I am at an advantage as a white, heterosexual woman.  There is some discrimination that I will not endure because of that.  However, as a woman, I do experience misogyny and sexism.  It is abhorrent and annoying.   

People have no idea what we are endorsing. 

They think this return to Christian values is the way.

What does that Indeever?  

Specifically?

White men dictate what is acceptable in society.  They choose a wife.  They *decide* to follow Christian rules.  Only having intercourse to procreate.  Super sexy.

They forbid access to pornography.  It's dirty.  

(Yet, they all watch porn)

They take.  

They refuse to believe in any prochoice effort.  

Still.  They take.

Be aware,  Purchase plan B's