Thursday, September 17, 2015

Yoga fail

I chose to drive to Denver on Monday.  I could have stayed in Santa Fe and spent time with friends.  My departure tour could use some love.  Yet, I wanted to drive up, drop some things off and see the city.  I guess I wanted to remind myself of what I would be looking forward to.  I want to be home.
I contacted Maghan that I would be heading up with a car load of my belongings.  I researched some of the yoga studios in the city and found that I knew two instructors at a studio I was unfamiliar with.  My goal was to surprise one of my old colleagues/friends by attending a noon vinyasa class on Tuesday.  I remembered to pack my mat and clothes or so I thought.
Monday, I met Jenn for dip duo and wine.  Lovely way to spend an afternoon in Denver.  Overcast and patio dining.  I returned to Maghan's house and picked up a few things for dinner.  He was working and so my intention was to have a late light dinner with him. 
The next morning, I found coffee at a local shop.  Super cute space.  They offer coffee, beer and whiskey.  Semi-odd combination but works.  I mean, did I want a whiskey shot at 9 am?  I opted for the coffee. 
I knew there was a noon class near the RiNo.  I packed my bag and realized that I had forgotten yoga pants.  Silly!  I dumped all of the contents out of my bag, hoping, to find work out pants or shorts.  I have other clothes at Maghan's since I am storing my stuff there til I find my own spot.  I rummaged through those clothes as well.  I had multiple yoga tops, bras, etc.  But no pants. 
At this point, it was 11:10 and the studio was downtown.  I was too far east to make it to the target and the yoga studio.  I figured the yoga studio would have pants for sale.  Yet, do I want to spend $100 + on a pair of pants to attend a class?  I thought about the time and the stress that I would be embarking on.  Unnecessary traffic, parking, buying pants and attending a class.
So, I chose to skip the class.  I figured we could walk around downtown to enjoy the day.  Did I miss the yoga?  Absolutely!  I know that I would have benefitted, greatly, from attending the class.  Plus, the surprise factor would have been epic.  That will have to wait for another day.
Thankfully, I did manage to attend a class this morning.  Tomorrow will be a mysore class and then Saturday, I will attend a vinyasa class.  I recognize that I build so much more strength from ashtanga.  My practice has solidified.  However, I enjoy vinyasa classes with music.  Always have.  Probably always will.  I can completely let go and find myself lost in the music, breath, movement.  Especially, if the instructor is a talented sequencer.  I found several instructors in Phoenix that I enjoyed.  Thankfully, I will be in Phoenix in a few weeks to finish my teacher training and take in as many vinyasa classes as I can. 
In two weeks, I will be home.  I am excited for this new journey.  Nervous, scared, happy and mostly excited.  I enjoy starting over.  But, this is returning to a place I have called home and beginning again.  A little different.  I am super excited to see friends and what the city has to offer.  Definitely something new.
Yoga was an epic fail on Tuesday.  In its place, I walked downtown, discovered new eateries that I will become a regular at and enjoyed the day.  There is always tomorrow.

Sunday, September 13, 2015

bike donation

Last month while in Denver, my friend, Troy, mentioned that he was heading up to Wheat Ridge to donate a few bikes to a shop there.  Ironically, this shop is about two blocks from where I first lived in Colorado.  Since he was in Denver, he met Shari, Sara and myself for dinner.  Lovely occasion with three of my great friends.  I had been waiting for Shari and Troy to meet for some time.  It was fantastic.
I started thinking about some of the items that I carry from city to city with me.  I have a bike that was Brian's.  It was his mountain bike until he purchased a newer model that suited his skills.  I gratefully accepted the mountain bike as my trek had definitely seen better days.  I think if I remember correctly, that bike, made its way to my sister's house to retire. 
At any rate, I wondered why I would take the mountain bike with me as I rarely ride it.  It has some fundamental tire issues that I could not correct on my own or with assistance from handy bike landlords of the past.  Believe me, I tried to have them fix the bike without me having to take it to a bike shop.  And, I purchased a road bike in Phoenix which felt more like me.  I brought both bikes with me to Santa Fe and the mountain bike has not moved since it arrived.
I went on-line and found a donation center in Santa Fe.  I chose to go this route as the bike is still in good shape and I believe will make someone extremely happy to own.  It's okay to let go of things.  I finally understand that part of grief.  For a long time, I wanted to keep his things with me, near me, close to me which kept his essence with me, I suppose.  The physical reminders or associations as opposed to the inherent knowledge that I had a love that was special.  Of course, when I left the bike with the center, I felt loss.  I remembered and missed him immensely.
Still, I saw several hummingbirds this week as well as butterflies.  I know this is the right thing to do.  When I walked out of the center, this man, stopped me to thank me.  It felt fantastic to give something to the community.  I know that it will make its new owner extremely happy. 
I asked the kid that helped me how long the center had been opened.  Ten years was his response.  I feel it is a great resource for any city.  Not only do they accept bikes, they also show you how to fix them, make repairs and build bikes.  Definitely something that Brian would understand.  He loved riding his bike and tinkering with it.  He had all of these tools and spent hours keeping his bike in good shape. 
I am off to work to enjoy the rest of this day.  Cheers!

Friday, September 11, 2015

Memories of today

Today is always a bittersweet memory for me.  I did not personally lose anyone to 9/11.  Still this day affects me profoundly.  My plan was to head to Greece on September 18th.  I had moved my belongings back to Kansas where they would remain for six months while I found myself.  Or so I told my friends and family.  I was restless in Phoenix and looking for adventure. 
Graciously, my older sister and her husband let me store my stuff at their home in Lawrence.  I was saying goodbye to my mom and my younger sisters in Salina on September 10th.  I had already made the rounds of goodbyes to college friends, high school and family.  Although, my family thought I was crazy to go abroad, they knew they would not be able to talk me out of it. 
I remember waking up at my mom's house.  Confused to what was being reported on the news.  Captivated by the events and scared for people that I didn't know.  In addition, my sister was stranded in Chicago and we were unable to contact her. 
I remember being gouged trying to fill my car up with gasoline.  I think it was $4.50/gallon.  My little sister and I went to see Rockstar that night.  It seemed like the most normal thing to do.  Sit in the dark and try to watch a film.  To distract from the reality that now was occurring.  The heart break, tragedy, unknowing of what tomorrow would be like. 
Suddenly, I had a choice.  Go to Greece as planned or make a detour.  My family at this point rallied to dissuade me from going abroad.  I stood firm in my decision.  I would be fine, I told them.  Then, I visited my mentor who suggested the traveling in the first place.  He was the only one that could reason with me.  He reminded me that I could delay the trip and go some other time.  The proximity of Greece to the Middle East might not be the smartest decision for a solo female traveler.  I returned to my sister's house with the news.  I would postpone my European adventure and remain in Kansas.  That thought lasted about two days.  I spent some time at local spots and knew that I had outgrown being a college student.  That eventually I would turn into an alcoholic or something of that sort due to the fact that I knew way too many people in Lawrence.  It would be too accessible to hang out on a daily basis.  The thought of returning to Phoenix didn't really factor in.  I had left and didn't want to return.  Sure, I could have returned and worked at the pub.  I told them I wanted a leave of absence and they believed me.  I left on good terms so I knew I would have a position with them if I wanted it.
I found myself heading to Denver to check out a beer festival.  My aunt lived in Denver and she told me I could stay with her while attending the festival.  Jan flew to Kansas City and we drove to Denver for a weekend.  It was great and before I left, I knew that I would be returning to Denver to make a life there. 
A year later, I met Brian and my life completely changed.  9/11 is a bittersweet memory.  Tragedy, loss, fear that turned into finding my soul mate in Denver. 
For me, I have found that I definitely want to attend a yoga class on this day.  A few years ago, I attended an extremely soulful class where the teacher chose the best songs to commemorate the day.  It was very emotional and heartfelt.  Last year, I attended a vinyasa class that also dedicated the music to NY style songs.  Again, I was overwhelmed with gratitude for the beauty of that city, of life, of peace and kindness to all.  Today, I attended a mysore class.  Made myself get out of bed and practice ashtanga.  Extremely thankful that I did this.  I would have preferred a vinyasa with music class. It feels more ideal.
However you choose to remember, take a moment and breathe.  Kindness and peace to all.

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

last few days

Yesterday was a loss.  Complete waste of a day.  That is what happens when I overindulge the previous day.  Instead of enjoying both of my days off.  I end up recovering in one of them. 
I spent the morning at the yoga studio.  I could not avoid that responsibility and so I drank coffee and counted the minutes down.  I love the studio.  I was just tired and in desperate need of rest.  Not feeling like the most engaging person that is for sure.
Monday, I worked at the studio and followed that up with lunch with my friend, Lawrence and his wife.  Thankfully, I managed to do my laundry before beginning wine lunch.  We had a progressive lunch and continued on to a downtown establishment.  I wanted Lawrence to see what it was like before dropping him off at a concert.  I retired to my house and had a picnic dinner later that evening. 
All, in all, a lovely day surrounded by friends, food and wine.  I am realizing that I have a few weeks left before my new adventure begins.  There is still a lot that I would like to do while in Santa Fe.  I know there will be a return to Ojo since I absolutely adore that.  And, there are a few core restaurants that I want to check out before departing.  I call this time in my life, the departure tour.  I probably will not have a going away party as I do not have the space to do it.  The majority of my belongings are now in Denver.  The picnic dinner the other night was interesting.  Kitchy, charming, fun....but not something that I want to repeat on many occasions.  A few of my friends here are interested in a party of sorts but I think I am running out of time.  I believe my departure will have to be done on a one on one basis.  I saw Lawrence and Jenn, Monday.  I will more than likely see Melody at Ojo and Libby and I have an upcoming walk scheduled.  I might see Scooby Snack or not.  I haven't really decided. 
I know that I am on the right path and that I am ready to be home.  My time away has been lovely and eye opening.  I do enjoy starting over and meeting new people.  I thrive on it.  I have expanded my social circle.  When I visit, I will have more people to see and a few yoga instructors to hang out with.  Hopefully, I will be able to do a sample class for Mira in the future.  I started this journey to improve the quality of teaching here and realized that I wanted to deepen my practice first.  Then, I will focus on teaching others.  I have found that some of the recent graduates are not equipped to adjust students and I do not want to be that kind of teacher.  I want to inspire others to deepen their own practice and feel comfortable approaching me with suggestions.  I feel that I need more time as a student before taking the lead to teach.  My training will conclude in a month.  I am thankful for that.  Work keeps me busy and productive.  I am off~

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Scooby Snack

Working at the yoga studio has been lovely.  I have met a diverse group of people in addition to seeing people from the restaurants.  It's interesting to see them outside of work and in a different light.  Likewise, they see me in a very casual environment.  No bowties or black slacks in the yoga studio. 
I know the owners from attending her classes at a different studio.  Of course, it is easiest to work alongside her as we already have an established rapport and friendship.  The other girls I am getting to know.  I've been bonding with some of the other girls as we have worked together.  The office manager is a massage therapist by trade and organizing the studio in her free time.  Detail organized, thrifty and kind.  We have traded some dating debacles in the last few weeks.  Mostly mine.  There was the guy that took me to Ojo Caliente at night which is super romantic and couples are everywhere.  This guy did not try to kiss me on either of the trips there.  So, I kissed him and it was terrible!  Huge mistake.  No chemistry whatsoever. 
Then there was the guy that seemed normal, intelligent, attractive, kind.  Until he got super drunk and ranted that, don't I understand?  He's a novelist....and there are so many women chasing him.  Not exactly attractive in that moment.  What woman is excited that a prospect has many, many options.  At least according to the guy.
I walked into the studio yesterday and told her the latest.  There is a younger guy that I work with who has a crush on me.  One night at work, he told me that I had a dope vibe.  (I agreed and liked this).  He continued are kind of hostile (what?) and then asked me if I was Russian.  My response, no, I'm german.  Then I thought about it.  He praised and attacked me in one statement.  Another time, he asked me if I was 31.  With no context of speaking of age.  Just flat out asked me if I was 31.  I said no and that was that.  The following day I asked him why he asked me about my age.  He asked me if I was flattered that I asked him that.  Again, I was like--what?  Should I be?
At any rate, for the last six weeks, we have worked together and I am amused by his randomness. 
I began the story with--this young guy that I work with is meeting me for wine and dinner later tonight.  Her response, oh, a Scooby snack. 
I loved it and it was pretty appropriate.  This guy wears skinny jeans, dances by himself and calls in to work so that he can hacky sack in front of the restaurant.  Random, yes, and older than I thought.  I thought he was 22, maybe.  (Definitely Scooby snack at this point)  I found out the other night that he is older. 
We did not meet for wine which gave my liver a much needed break.  I've started my departure tour of the city.  Meaning I have been seeing friends and saying goodbye.  Translation, lots of wine is involved.  Last night, I went to a yoga class and relaxed at home.  No wine. 
I don't know if it will go anywhere with the Scooby snack outside of giving this guy a nickname.  I do like his wit in spite of his hackysacking at work and skinny jeans.