Every day is more chaos. Challenging. I recognize that it designed this way to inhibit resistance. Distraction after distraction after distraction. For instance, the recent video reminding us of the Epstein files. Is it a distraction from the war?
I thought there was a ceasefire, but it seemed to have been violated within hours of it being stated. I do not understand how the continual bombing of Lebanon is supported. Or Gaza for that matter. Why are civilians being targeted? Universities, hospitals, structures? It is insanity.
It takes a lot out of me in spite of the knowledge. Trying to sift through the b.s. and move forward. Some days are easier than others. I have been relishing the lego videos that are surfacing on social media. They make me chuckle and sigh. Specifically, the one regarding our secretary. They do not hold back. Call out some of my favorite words. CS--IYKYK.... Seriously, I do love that word. And it sums up his behavior handily. Many of my friends are unaware of the videos which makes me think I am in a silo. I see so much and am familiar with many moving parts. If only I could walk away and place my head in the sand. I cannot. I will not.
Striking that balance is imperative.
Planning yoga is helping. I feel more productive and capable. I ran into a friend that is going through a divorce. It has been a while in the making but it is happening. Typically, this friend does not confide about his personal life. In a way, I feel that he feels uplifted being able to discuss it. He can sort through his relationship and what he would like to move forward. Listening to him made me reflect on my relationship with Tom. I could be more vested in his interests. I, tend to get caught up in the politics, my stressors and work. I cannot help myself (or so I convince myself). However, listening to my friend was a gentle reminder that I should listen to Tom's needs. I should show Tom that I love him not just say it. Actions matter.
I utilized the library through Kanopy (streaming service) and placed a bunch of books on hold. Some fiction. Others non-fiction. I picked up a mix and started a fiction one that was recommended. Immediately, I knew it was not speaking to me. I read a review and it was confirmed that it might not be approachable. But the content of the location did happen in real life. Girls were placed in correctional institutions and the conditions were terrible. I read on to see that. Unstable conditions, abuse, lack of cleanliness, poor nutrition, medicating people. I do not agree with any of this to house people. Girls were placed within these facilities with no structure, opportunity to rehabilitate or leave. They were punished for being undesirable or unwanted.
I do not love the book after 150 pages. I will return it to the library with some knowledge of how women were treated and continue to be. There is a better reflection of this specific situation with The Woman they could not Silence. That book is incredible. I should remember to place a book on hold for the author's other book--Radium Girls. Rambling slightly. It has been a day. I need to decompress so I can shut off my mind. Find balance and navigate the chaos.
Salud to Thursday~
No comments:
Post a Comment