current thoughts

In many ways, I have always chosen the alternative path.  Choosing not to be married or have children. I am reminded, daily, of that choice.  I do not regret it.  And, honestly, I believe there are other women in my age range who agree with me.  Choosing to not have children because I could choose what was best for me.

I watched my parents' struggle.  Having four daughters, providing shelter and not really liking each other.  At that point, they didn't have a choice.  It was the way to live life.  Get married, have children, buy a home and be loyal to your job.  There was no deviation from what you were supposed to do.  My mom went from being a daughter to being a mother.  Her options were restricted.  She got pregnant and became a mother.  She couldn't pursue her dreams or desires.  She had to be a mom.

Eventually, they made the right decision to divorce.  It was a hard choice.  It was atypical.  The church definitely didn't support it.  You could be ostracized and cast out of your church and community.  Yet, it was the best thing my parent did for me and my sisters.  Instead of growing up in a household where there was resentment and hurt, we were shown that there were other options.  We, as young girls, could curate the life we wanted.  

My sisters all chose a different path than me.  Some went to college.  Others went to nursing school or a trade.  Some married.  A few of my sisters chose to have children while my older sister and I refrained.

I opted for the alternative path.  Choosing to be independent and self-sufficient.  I do not regret any of the choices I have made. I have benefitted, greatly, from my decisions.  Being independent, traveling, eating all sorts of food, creating joy, choosing to not shave the back of my legs since I was 15 or ever wearing makeup.  

Yes, it's true.  I have worn make-up, fully done up, maybe five times in my life.  Yes, I have worn mascara and eye liner more.  But, not in the last 8 years.  

I only note this since the current president looks ghoulish.  He wears makeup but it isn't blended.  It makes him resemble a raccoon, at times.  I don't know.  It is something that I have been thinking about after seeing him on the news.  

I am thankful for my decision to seek the alternative path.  I do not regret not having children.  I applaud other women who have made this decision as well.  Why are we the ones to sacrifice our passion?  Why are we supposed to stay home and raise kids?  Why are we supposed to be silent as our rights are stripped from us?  

Why is there this return to "trad" wives?  What did our generation do to these kids that would influence them to think that their best option is to create a home environment and allow their husband to make all of the relevant decisions?  I am flabbergasted by these 20 year-olds who think their best life is to stay at home and raise kids.

Why are we telling women to dim their lights?  To be submissive.  It is so gross.  It won't work.  It didn't work out for several generations of women before.  We are not content being suppressed.  Being submissive.  Or told what to do.