Thursday, November 21, 2013

random rainy day thoughts

Me, on my, do I look happy.  Purple is a good color.  Wine related, suit related--yea, it's a good color.
I am reflecting on my last couple of years.  I felt inspired to consider my life and what has happened since 2006.  Why did I think up this blog?  Travel.  Travel.  Food.  Wine.  Travel.  Travel.  More wine.  More food.  Friends.
I still do all of these things.  Why am I not sharing this?
I think I went through a phase where I felt extremely vulnerable.  Say 2011, I felt exposed.  I can admit that I did it to myself.  I over share, even, when in hindsight, I recognize, not extremely smart.  I choose to be honest, transparent, even.  I attempted to be less share friendly and it has shut down my inspiration.  I want to change this.
I am happy.  I am thriving.  Life is grand.  Travel is immense and I have been enjoying incredible food.  It has seemed, easier, to withhold the information.  To reflect, in my mind, as opposed to the possibility of the blog.  Does that make sense?
I plan on changing it.  What do they say--insanity is when you perform the same behavior and expect a different result?  I no longer have the expectation...I think I have feared using the blog for what it is intended to be.   A forum.  A way in which to communicate my thoughts, desires, wants, needs, craziness.  I have sacrificed my voice due to fear.  I no longer want to operate this way.  I want to be open.
So, my next trip will be detailed. I spent last weekend in Santa Fe. I met a friend for drinks and he was telling me of his own travel stories.  He went on and on (yes, he had good stories/information) and as I listened, I considered my own life. The people I have encountered on the way, the friends I have kept in contact with and the future--what it brings.  My friend from high school seemed surprise that I would want an "adult" job.  I agree with her.  I miss the freedom of my travel life.
So, how can I make that happen?  What can bring that dream to fruition?  I want to know.
For the time being, I will work hard, cultivate relationships and dream of travel.  Celebrate, enjoy and  taste life!

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