Thursday, November 21, 2013
random rainy day thoughts
I am reflecting on my last couple of years. I felt inspired to consider my life and what has happened since 2006. Why did I think up this blog? Travel. Travel. Food. Wine. Travel. Travel. More wine. More food. Friends.
I still do all of these things. Why am I not sharing this?
I think I went through a phase where I felt extremely vulnerable. Say 2011, I felt exposed. I can admit that I did it to myself. I over share, even, when in hindsight, I recognize, not extremely smart. I choose to be honest, transparent, even. I attempted to be less share friendly and it has shut down my inspiration. I want to change this.
I am happy. I am thriving. Life is grand. Travel is immense and I have been enjoying incredible food. It has seemed, easier, to withhold the information. To reflect, in my mind, as opposed to the possibility of the blog. Does that make sense?
I plan on changing it. What do they say--insanity is when you perform the same behavior and expect a different result? I no longer have the expectation...I think I have feared using the blog for what it is intended to be. A forum. A way in which to communicate my thoughts, desires, wants, needs, craziness. I have sacrificed my voice due to fear. I no longer want to operate this way. I want to be open.
So, my next trip will be detailed. I spent last weekend in Santa Fe. I met a friend for drinks and he was telling me of his own travel stories. He went on and on (yes, he had good stories/information) and as I listened, I considered my own life. The people I have encountered on the way, the friends I have kept in contact with and the future--what it brings. My friend from high school seemed surprise that I would want an "adult" job. I agree with her. I miss the freedom of my travel life.
So, how can I make that happen? What can bring that dream to fruition? I want to know.
For the time being, I will work hard, cultivate relationships and dream of travel. Celebrate, enjoy and taste life!