Monday, December 28, 2015

Upcoming travel

Best way to celebrate a day off....sleep in til 11:30, be lazy and then perhaps hit a yoga class.  I am still undecided on that one.  I believe I am most productive when I actually greet the day in a timely manner.
Could not be helped.  I ate dinner at 1 am and then drank some wine til 3:30.  Seems like I am trying to relive the college days.  Speaking of college days, I inquired about some suggestions to stay in Bangkok and feel like the majority of kids that responded are just that, kids.  The first person said he stayed along a street that was like a frat party.  Pass.  I don't see Shari and I enjoying a good night of sleep, staying above a college bar.  We are heading to Vietnam and chose to fly in and out of Bangkok.  It is a great departure city and gateway to travel in Southeast Asia from what I have heard.  We want to check out the city, briefly, as the focal point of our trip is Vietnam and Cambodia. 
Still, I know that Bangkok is thriving with restaurants, bars and things to see.  I am excited to get another passport stamp and see the other side of the world. 
Initially, we tried to decide if we should fly in and out of Vietnam or do a multi-city venture.  The more we thought about it and talked to people, the more it became apparent that we should pick a gateway city--Bangkok, Kuala Lumpur, Singapore.  After checking available flights, we opted for Bangkok.  After arriving there we can fly anywhere in Asia.  There are still some things to work out--how long in Bangkok, Vietnam, Cambodia and Laos. 
I am thankful to be back in Denver and know that I chose to be here.  Things happen as they are supposed to.  I cannot rush what I think I should be doing.  My training with Sara has declined somewhat.  Her work schedule and mine are not aligned.  In addition, she is working too much which is further limiting our meet-ups.  I have been relying on the gym to supplement my training.  Thankfully, I am not anti-spin anymore.  Working in Santa Fe helped facilitate the enjoyment of cycling. 
I will manage to check out a yoga class this evening at a new location.  I know the instructor has a pretty challenging class.  Her background is from personal training and strength building.  I know I will have a challenging experience.  I have also scheduled a few other classes to attend this week.  Otherwise, I will find an excuse as to why I should not have to take a class.  I know it.  I am feeling vulnerable to not attending classes. 
I should organize my stuff.  In an effort to feel more settled here.  It is time.  Again, I chose to be here and want to make the most of it.  To establish roots and thrive.  I have loved every minute of my unconventional lifestyle.  I have many friends in different places as became more apparent to me when I inquired about lodging in Bangkok.  Multiple people had suggestions and offers to help me out.  It felt awesome.  I don't every want to lose that wanderlust or passion for life.  I only want to have a place to return to that I can call home.  It is Denver.  Always has been.
I suppose I had to work through a little bit of stuff and still am.  I have baggage that will always be with me.  It's lighter now but still there.  I will always have memories of Brian in Denver and associations of my life with him.  I value those memories.  I didn't understand how much would resurface after deciding to move back.  A few times I felt overwhelmed with my decision. I have physical abnormalities to further remind me that there is still stuff to slog through.  My shoulder has been a constant reminder that I have grief to address.  There were days were the ache never lessened.  Where I felt I couldn't get comfortable or relax.  I tried to pop it back into place countless times with little success.  I struggled to attend yoga.  Scared that I would aggravate it further.  Eventually, I stopped thinking about it and lived my life.  I want to be here and am open to whatever that means. 
Next year, I feel, will be more reflective and visible on my blog.  I won't take as many absences or be distracted.  I see the end of my transition and a start of a beautiful journey. Lots of travel and meeting people.  That is what 2016 holds for me.  What does it hold for you?

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