In an attempt to keep the spiders at bay, I have been sweeping, daily, to take down the cobwebs and mopping with lemon scented pinesol and vinegar. Both products are supposed to irritate spiders.
I dusted my mantel and knocked over my corkboard. Awesome. 1/3 of the corks flew across my floor. I guess I will be rearranging my board that was compiled by drinking wine with Brian. '
And Sara Jo and Sam. It is something that I have carted with me from place to place since 2006. A piece of my personal history that will always remain with me. I thought, that I should have continued that practice. I have drank wine with some pretty incredible people in my life. I will want to have these memories with me wherever I end up. I think I will make an effort to continue this practice. Hope to start in a few weeks when I have lunch with a friend. I did have some wine with Melody yesterday. We chose the Petite Petit one of Shari's favorite wines. I should have grabbed that cork before I left. Melody and I had happy hour, some wine and a sunset walk around their arroyo. It was a lovely way to spend a day off. I had had plans to dine at a french bistro with another friend of mine. Teo had to cancel due to unforeseen work. I was bummed but in all honesty the day worked out the way it was supposed to. I bought a new pair of kicks (to inspire a return to running), got a massage and spent the remainder of the day with Melody and her boyfriend. It was great.
I do work tonight and I am excited to be sporting the tie. I will rest until then. Maybe take a movie or finish my current book. I decided to reread a classic and it has kept me enthralled. I was on a psychological thriller type of read the last month. Must be honest, Gone Girl, was enticing. I wanted to read other books along that realm. A few of them were way too dark and I am ready to return to great dialogue and great story lines. As such, I found my way back to a female protagonist with an engrossing storyline. I hope to finish this book and move on to mystery.
Until I am inspired by a new author. I like to read a book that makes me think, consider, analyze its content. Recently, I read, we need to talk about Kevin and that stayed with me for weeks. Sociopaths--how do they come about? Nature/nurture. This book was challenging to read as it didn't really answer the question of fault. I felt bad for the parents of the kid that crossbowed his school. It was written in a way to illustrate the upbringing of the kid, the challenges of the parents in how they parented this kid and the result of living in the community after the kid went postal. There was nothing uplifting about this book. It really made me think about how to move on after something like this happens.
The question of blame remains and overtakes everything associated with the tragedy. We all want to blame someone, something, some malfunction in an attempt to explain. I remember a friend of mine's loss. Her daughter died in an unfortunate negligence of a day care provider. It was awful and my friends chose to prosecute the daycare provider. They won their case and the woman was convicted. I think it brought them some peace knowing this woman would no longer be a daycare provider. However, it didn't make them feel any better about their loss. I guess I think about that when I think of my own loss. It was an accident and I had no one to blame which helped me move through it. Knowing that there was peace for Brian. I couldn't blame anyone for what happened. I wasn't distracted by anger as I couldn't find a justification as to why it happened. I think that made me be able to breathe quicker than trying to explain the why. There is no explanation.
I think, sometimes, that this is the case. That book, there was no clean explanation as to why this kid chose to kill his classmates. His mom could blame herself and let the community blame her, too. But, what did she do wrong? She and her husband provided a good life for this kid. He had no wants. He was just unhappy in his life and he took it out on other people.
I digress. It has been a beautiful weekend. Perfect weather. I am glad that I choose to be here now. I hope you enjoy yours, too. Cheers!
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