Monday, June 23, 2014


Patience seems to be current lesson for me.  Sometimes, living in the moment, is a challenge.  I want to live each day, fully.  Meaning, I am impatient for things to happen.  I get an idea in my head or a song in my heart and I want to make it happen.  Hence the decision to move from Phoenix.  There had been a sequence of events (signs) that convinced me it was time to move on.  My landlord decided he wanted to remodel his home.  Seems innocent but required a demolition of my space to achieve it.  I knew at that point that I would be relocating.  So, I put it out there and made it happen.  I left a lucrative job, great yoga community, hiking with friends, shopping (I am shocked to admit this, but I did find that I loved thrift store shopping in Phoenix), restaurants that I frequented...basically, a highly active life to start over.  I wanted it and I do not regret that I chose to begin again.  I have always been this way. I enjoy a gypsy type of lifestyle. I thrive when I am in it.
But starting over takes time. Finding wine bars, yoga studios, hiking, common interests with new people in the city, breakfast burritos, dive bars/restaurants...All of this takes time to establish.  Trust, comfort, familiarity of roads, ways to get around the city without gps, where to run, eat and relax.  Slowly, I am adapting to this city and finding ways to spend my time.  I am impatient with having the life I want.
I am impatient with my yoga practice.  Today, I went to one of the instructors classes that I enjoy to find that she is out of town.  Immediately, I begin assessing the sub.  Flow, cadence and music.  The flow wasn't terrible but the music made me crazy.  I considered leaving multiple times.  I convinced myself to stay as the latter classes are not improvements in that realm.  Moreover, the yoga guru (whom everyone seems to love) teaches the noon class.  His music is awful and his idea of flow is more half-splits and temple pose.  He incorporates a couple chatarangas but not nearly enough for my liking.
I am reminded, daily, that I should have gotten certified while living in Phoenix.  Now, I need to prioritize that decision and figure out which studio to train with.  I am impatient with work, too.  I prefer more bartending and less serving shifts.  Currently, I am serving more than I think is necessary.  For the time being, I am impatient.  I do not mind serving.  It is just that I prefer and enjoy bartending more.  I am enjoying getting to know my co-workers.  It is just that I miss my social network in Phoenix and Denver.  I do have a few friends, here.  Melody has been wonderful.  Introducing me to some of her friends and inviting me along to events in the city.  Then there is Danielle, my co-worker.  She is a recent acquaintance that became a fast friend of mine.  However, she is moving in three weeks to Kentucky to be with her husband.  Happy for her but sad that I will lose a potential friend.  I am impatient for the network of friendships.  I know that I need to put myself out there in order to do this.  Being open to opportunities that present themselves in social settings.  For instance, I met another yoga instructor that teaches on Saturday mornings.  I met her through a friend of mine who works with this girl. Random run-in to each other at a bar could lead to a potential great yoga class or friendship.
I must be patient.  I do not need to force things to happen to be happy here.  I chose this city, this move, this life.  I will find the best breakfast burrito, wine bar, running trails and yes, a yoga studio.  I might even manage to find the ideal work/life balance.  Patience.  Peace.  Breathing.

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