Last night, I opened a bottle of wine from Phelan Estates from 2002. It had started to turn.
Tonight, I opened a Silver Oak 2000 that I bought from Mayfair Liquors while I was living on Birch St with Brian. I wanted to celebrate my trip, my life, and Brian. The wine was fantastic. I had a nice meal and I must say...having a Friday night off was pleasant.
Recently, I found out that a friend of mine's brother-in-law passed away. Immediately, I felt awful for them. I remember what it was like for me. Numb, shocked, unable to do anything but reflect on him and our life. I could't sleep, I barely ate and all I wanted was another moment with him. I knew that he knew that I loved him, but if I could have given anything back to get the opportunity for another moment with Brian, I would have sold my soul.
I was lucky. I know. My sisters were with me in my dark period. It was a short interlude--their visit--but I knew that if I wanted them, they would have returned for me.
I remember hearing that I shouldn't make rash decisions, but in hindsight, I really think that I wasn't there. I was going through the motions, but my mind wasn't in the present. I wouldn't put this on anyone...the emptiness, the loss, the shock.
I feel awful for this woman that I don't even know. Her husband of 25 years passed away. All I can say, is remember how much you loved him.
The wine is spectacular and I am enjoying my ipod. Have a grand night.