Thursday, May 7, 2015

recent random thoughts

Each day, I feel better.  Who know how magical apple cider vinegar was?  I drink it (begrudgingly, at times) and use it as a topical healing agent.  Love that it works and aids me in that process.  I had grandiose dreams of running a 10 k in Boulder over Memorial Day Weekend. By taunting the Goddess and Sara Jo, I thought I would be joining them for another lovely running inspired memory.   Joke is on me as I have not run in months and with the thigh injury, I am only focusing on healing and doing yoga.  I would love to meet Sara Jo and the Goddess for a weekend.  Maybe I will opt to do a midweek visit and go to a yoga class.  Or schedule a massage at Izba.  That would be so worth it.  And, I know from a previous visit that there is a sports oriented therapist that would work wonders on my thigh muscle.  Definitely could be an option.
Not to mention, I really enjoy being in Denver.  Seeing my friends and enjoying the city life.  I do miss having more options for grocery shopping, coffee shops, wine bars, dining at night.  Late night dining?  Doesn't really occur here.  Most places that are worthwhile close up shop by 9.  There are a few that remain open til 10 but then the food is stagnant.  Although, I did manage to frequent a few spots in Denver on a weekly basis without being bored or disenchanted with the food.  Perhaps I need to be more open minded with my current situation.
I do love the hot springs that are about an hour away.  I think I might spend part of my day off there.  Relax, rejuvenate, restore.  Or there is hiking nearby that would be a nice change of pace.  As previously mentioned, March was a bad month for me.  Lethargic, allergy ridden, stagnant.  I hope to not ever repeat that type of situation in my life.  I want to have no regrets for the choices I make.  I am reminded, unfortunately, that life is short too often.  The most vivid reminder is when I lost Brian in 2006.  My soul mate did not have any regrets in his life outside of dying way too young.  He showed me that it was important to say what I mean, feel, and do what I love.  Pursue my passion even if it meant that I would be misunderstood by most people in my life. 
Quick side note as an example.  This older gal stopped into my current job the other night and was chatting me up.  Where was I from?  Where had I lived?  Did I have a college degree?
Oh, you do have a college degree.  Why, may I ask, are you working in a restaurant?
Apparently, something must be inherently wrong with me if I had an education and chose to work in the service industry.  I told her I chose to work there as it was a flexible way of living my life.  I could travel.  See the world.  Meet people as I was unemcumbered.  I could choose to live the life I wanted due to my choice of work.  And, I enjoy meeting people, discussing restaurants, other cities, etc.  I still consider her decision to attack my job.  Perhaps attack is not the correct word.  However, I could see that she was disappointed in my choice as it would not have resonated with her. 
One of my old bosses recently went running with his wife and collapsed.  He was 42.  How does this make sense?  He was healthy, led a good life in that he was a provider, a father, a husband, friend.  He had always been active.  It makes no sense to me whatsoever outside of as being a reminder to live the life I love.  And be present. 
I sent a card to the woman that lost her husband.  I hope she finds some peace with it.  We all grieve differently until the process is complete.  I was fortunate in that my support system encouraged me to travel and heal.  I had the time to figure out what made sense to me.  Not that I would ever be the same.  It would be different but at least I could breathe again.
I hope to continue to reflect on life.  This hiatus was too long.  Silly me for not purchasing a new laptop sooner.

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