How does the saying go...think before you speak? Seriously. I need a filter sometimes. I say whatever is on my mind and do not consider how it sounds until I get a look or an abrupt departure. I tell myself that is the beauty of living in the moment and being present. However, things definitely can be taken out of context even in person. I mean, I cannot tell you how many times I have questioned a text message for the meaning. It's hard to construe since there are no voice inflections.
Today, I saw my favorite coffee guy and we were sitting there, chatting, when I mentioned I had wanted to head to Denver this weekend. I had banking issues to contend with. I wanted to speak with my previous banker and felt an in person visit was preferable to a conversation on the phone. Plus, I could visit some friends and drink some of the wine my friends purchased while in Napa this past July. I told Michael that I felt I could since we got a discount due to my connections of the service industry. He then asked me if I could get him a discount and I said no. Sometimes I try to be flippant.
Anyways, he asked me if I just walked around with cash as I had made it sound like I only bank in Denver. I have a local bank here, which, he did not know. So, I understood that question. I had also mentioned, recently, that I hoped to return to Denver at some point as Denver was home to me. I am not ready to return and I know that. He doesn't. He hears me say, I signed a year lease. I like to travel as often as possible. Translation (to him), I am not really committed to being here. However, I am making a life here.
For example,I reached out to Michael last night to see what he was doing. I was at work, bored. Slow evening and so I relied on texting to move the night along. I did not see his response until too late. He went to my other job looking for me. Would have been a nice surprise had I told him where I was working. I had not. I try to convince him to come to where I am at but he said it was too far. Seemed silly to me since Santa Fe is a small town. Today, I mentioned it was not like being in Phoenix and driving 30 miles to see someone. That is a daily thing there. At any rate, I further solidified the idiocy by mentioning another guy stopping by my job. Completely innocent as this guy is a co-worker and younger. We are friends and I just happen to work at a place he likes to frequent. Has nothing to do with me. But, before I could take back what I had just said, my friend, abruptly says, I need to go back to work. Ciao.
Yea, I am an idiot. I suppose it is my way of keeping it interesting.....