Sunday, September 27, 2009

Happy Birthday Brian....

I know that I wanted to post this yesterday, 9/26, since that was Brian's birthday. However, today is mine and they sort of interchanged one another. It was always a two day celebration for us and so although, technically, I am late, in practice, I am fine.
Brian would have been 27 years old.
I look back over the past year and know that I began marathon training as a way to celebrate his "golden" birtday. You know, celebrating your age on the day you were born, for that year. Shari got a tattoo on the day last year. It was a wonderful way to remember him, his beauty, essence and spirit of life.
I thought about it and initially, considered travel, but felt it was a cop-out since I will always travel. It wasn't extravagant enough. I wanted my gift to him to mean something.
Yesterday, it did. I ran my longest run, pre-marathon. We ran 21 miles and the entire time, I thought of him. He loved running and always encouraged me to run with him. I had other ideas...I didn't like it, the pace, how early we would go, excuse, excuse, excuse.
Yesterday, the run went smooth. Actually, I thoroughly enjoyed it. I ran by myself since the Goddess ran with another girl and truly, I wanted to go. I didn't enjoy their pace and so I took off. The first 16 miles were cake. Then with 5 left, I fixated on how long it was taking to get to the next water stop and yearned for my ipod or some distraction. I did it and it was a lovely way to start Brian's birthday.
Afterwards, the Goddess and I went to Goosetown for chips and salsa. She had a bloody mary and I had a Mirror Pond Pale Ale. She insisted on bringing the cupcakes and I let her. She is very sweet.
I walked downtown since the GABF is here and the Rockies are in playoff contention. Downtown had a beautiful energy about it, but I was tired. My body was over the whole walk thing.
We lost the game and I convinced my friend, Andy, to drop me off at home. I was exhausted. I now know that post marathon I am not going to want to be doing much of anything. And, I realize how powerful my mind is. With 5 miles left, I wanted to be done. I started realizing how far I had went and the negativity turned on. For the marathon I need to prepare to run 31 miles. Maybe that would help delay the wall or the negativity.
Yesterday was a wonderful day and today I might just watch Veronica Mars on Hulu. I am beat up! The run, the game, everything about last week that I haven't written about yet--made for an excellent birthday this year. Thank you to all of my friends and all of you for listening, encouraging and supporting me in the golden year endeavor.

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