Friday, June 17, 2011

thoughts

I overslept. Not really. I woke up at 7:30. For me, that is oversleeping.
Lately, it seems that I wake up at 6 am sharp. Every day. With or without wine involved, it seems. The sun shines and I am up. Startled, sometimes, sure. I wake up and contemplate my daily run.
Today, it was out of the question. I missed the window of opportunity.
I wanted to be active and so I did a strength training routine--push ups, sit ups, squats, lunges--intermixed with jump rope and jumping jacks. I considered doing sprints, too, but decided against it. Instead, I incorporated yoga and finished with meditation. Brilliant move. I felt at ease, peaceful, calm, centered and alive. Present, 100%, and available to whatever happens today. I am grateful that I opted to meditate instead of beating myself up for missing the run.
I reflected on my thoughts as I walked to the mailbox. I had read a post about communication and feeling more adept to communicate via text, e-mail or blogging, and unable to make sense in the speaking medium. I don't know if I struggle with that realm, the personal conversations department, as I have ample opportunities to strike up conversations with people. Yes, I do get caught up with texting, e-mailing, blogging, at times, but know that these mediums do not take place of an honest to goodness heartfelt face to face conversation.
This past week I have networked with old friends and put myself in situations to meet new people. I love it. I am so thankful for the people that I am meeting. I feel renewed/rejuvenated almost.
Or, I feel it is imperative to send cards, notes, letters to friends as a way to keep in touch, too. Last week, for instance, I had two opportunities to express sympathy. Not that I relish that occasion--I don't. Grief is horrible. I wouldn't wish this emotion on my worst enemy. It robs you of time, of life, of love and moving forward.
I found their individual addresses and expressed my condolensces. Each circumstance was unique and I know that my voice was different due to that and how I knew the person I sent the card too. I texted my one friend to tell her I was sorry and followed through with something I feel is more appropriate and meaningful.
I am surprised at the amount of people that post on facebook about grief. For me, it is entirely too personal to have out there. I do believe a phone call, card or visit, is the way to express sympathy. Yes, it takes effort and requires time. Posting on a wall seems impersonal. This is how I feel about it. But, I have experience with it and I remember how difficult it was to talk to people as time went on. This is one area that we do not discuss in our society it seems. I remember being given multiple casseroles to ease the pain. I wasn't hungry. Thankfully, my guests enjoyed the nourishment. Regardless, it felt that I was supposed to move on, immediately, from the grief the next day. I couldn't. I was overwhelmed with emotion and grief.
I am scattered today. Probably due to the meditation and everything that appears possible now. I am inspired and feel peace.
Who knew how powerful meditation could be? I should do it daily.....

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