Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Randomness and anxiety

Being back in the States has been interesting. I still haven't become my normal yell at all the idiot drivers yet and it has been nice. I am relaxed and calm. I don't now how long it will last, but I am enjoying it. I hope that I am able to retain this state of being.
I feel out of place at grocery stores since I do not have an urgency to run to my next destination. I day dream and I know that I look crazy for not being intent on getting out of the way. I have realized that people here do not smile. I have been walking around the southwest and want to talk to random people but they do not want to talk to me. I am used to making conversation with others and so it feels weird. I understand that cities are different. People like to be anonymous but every once in a while, a smile goes along way. I guess I am realizing that I wish more people were approachable and friendly. I can't have everything, though, right?
Maybe if you have the opportunity to meet someone new, that looks normal, take it. Why not? Why are we afraid to talk to people that we do not know? Any ideas?
Regarding the anxiety, I have been having bad dreams lately and not being able to sleep either. I think I am afraid to go back to Denver. I don't know why. I have family and friends there and I have missed everyone. I suppose I will embrace all of the changes that have occurred while I have been gone. I think that is what it boils down to for me. What if I get back and don't like what I find?
I am still surrounded by families traveling on spring break. I had forgotten what a true family vacation was like. I recommend watching Little Miss Sunshine for those of you who need a reminder. The reality can be overwhelming or at least the people, the State of Texas, that are traveling here. Until later.


Unknown said...

Hi Harmony,
It was so great meeting you at The Shed in Santa Fe, NM. I have started reading your blog and am so impressed with what you have accomplished in your life . . . I am going to finish reading it all! If you ever find your way to Texas, you always have a place to stay with Kevin and me. Take care of you and please keep in touch.
~Krissy Womack

harmony said...

thank you so much...did you make it to Pascal's for breakfast? Did you have a nice experience at the Shed?
I enjoyed our conversation and look forward to keeping in contact. I will e-mail later.