I am still living out of a bag. I wouldn't have it any other way, really. I wouldn't know what to do.
I feel unsettled and secure at the same time. I know that I have a job at the Bull and Bush, but the longer I am there, the more I realize that maybe it was a mistake to return. I mean, I have friends. I know that people missed me and are glad that I am back, but what does that mean? for them or for me?
I have felt so refreshed and relaxed and then I was told that a few of the servers are pissed that I have bar shifts and that I am bossing people around. I had no clue that this one server was so sensitive and it really bothered me. I asked for something to be done and the next thing I know, I am a dictator. It was completely innocent from my perspective.
I know that I am sensitive, too. I do not want to step on anyone's feet in my return. I want to be in Denver and it is frustrating that I am dealing with the insecurities of others. And it is frustrating that it is so incestuous in restaurants. I know that I need to challenge myself in other areas, too. I have two shifts a week and I need to focus on what is important to me--travel and living life to the fullest. I do not need to get caught up with the bullshit of others. I have never felt so relaxed in my life.
And, I know that I do a good job. I feel confident in my efforts and i enjoy it. I am so stoked that KU won the game. I cannot wait to watch the KU/UNC game...it should be fantastic.
I am working this week and my goal is to stay refreshed and happy. I let go of so much on my journey that I am unwilling to take it back on.