Sunday, October 16, 2011
I spoke to my dad earlier today about her tribute video and what it meant to me. It took me awhile to view it. My dad and I do not see eye to eye on faith. I had a feeling that it would be a little much for me to watch due to the music. Finally, I overlooked my fears of catholicism and watched the video. Lovely tribute to my stepmom. Several photos from her childhood, early adult and then her life with my dad. They traveled, every year, to destination unknown. Sometimes to see the grandkids and other siblings and other times, for them. I am thankful that my dad has numerous photos from their adventures.
I saw a few photos of me, included--one from their wedding day ( I wore a red shirt, who does that?), a nice one from the race for the cure, 2009, with my dad and Dori. I wish they would have included the one with my aunt Bryn, too, since she walked the race with Dori, while, I chatted up my dad. I continued watching the flick and thought, I wonder, if they included a picture of Brian.
And, there it was...a picture of me standing between Dori and Brian from Denver, 2003. It broke me. I lost it. Sad for sure. It reminded me of a beautiful day spent in Denver. The newness of our relationship, the blending of families and great coffee. I believe we found a delightful shop so that I could satisfy my need for caffeine.
I think he listened but wasn't hearing my thoughts. It seemed like it's hitting him...the loss. Routines help, of course, but there is solitude where your mind wanders to sadness, melancholy and loss. Moments where you feel like a wave smacked you and you react in the best way you know how. For me, that meant crying or looking at photos of my life with Brian.
Tonight, I celebrate my dad's life with this incredible woman. She made him extremely happy. Cheers~