I remember my thoughts about running---hate it, can't do it, loathe it, tired, can do it tomorrow.
This equated to failure. It was easy to never really give it a go, as Aussie's say, since I had failed with my thoughts.
Anybody can run. There are 80 year-olds that run marathons because they know they can and they do it. They decide that they want to be challenged in this physical sense and they accomplish the goal.
This morning, I met the Goddess for our loop run. I am fortunate that my training partners, meet me, during the week and keep me motivated. True, it is becoming easier to do it on my own, but I do enjoy the social aspect of running.
So, we started out and I brought my new fuel belt. I bought it yesterday and feel that I should run with it, prior to the 1/2 on August 8th. I know that it will be too distracting to run with it, for the first time, at the event.
Anyways, our conversations are always all over the map. Travel, food, jobs, men, friends, movies, etc. Towards the end, I told her that I was scared of the 1/2 marathon. I dream of getting caught up in the beginning of the race and unable to find my flow.
I know that I must create my own pace and not get wrapped up in the fast pace of others. I don't want to get stuck in the bottle neck of competitors, either, that are slower than I want to be. I fixate on finding the happy medium.
Lindsay told me that what we are doing is unique. That yes, there are several people that will be doing the 1/2 marathon, but in October, for the full, we will begin at a different time than the 1/2 marathoners and that it will be a smaller race since not many people challenge themselves in this way.
True, I know that anyone can run. It is a mental challenge. Today, I convinced myself, midway, through the work out, that I wasn't enjoying it. That I needed rest and shouldn't have eaten the popcorn at the theatre last night. Actually, that was true. Buttered popcorn for supper was not intelligent. My stomach did not like me this morning. The Hurt Locker was great, by the way. It reminded me that we are not affected by war the way other countries are and that yes, we have so many choices in the States. It is overwhelming. There is a scene, where the protagonist is asked to pick up cereal. He is confused as to where the aisle is located and than he just stands there, looking at all of the choices. Not in awe. I remember returning, myself, from 5 months where there were maybe 5 aisles in the store. Shopping in the States is overwhelming.
But, the point is, your mind is so powerful and capable of accomplishing anything. I forget sometimes, when I want it to be okay that I am a slacker. I forget that I am committed to this goal and that I will do it. I am looking forward to the 1/2 and continuing the training for the Full. October is right around the corner.