Today, I woke up and realized how much I really didn't want to go to work.
I spoke to my older sister and she was sorting through photos from her life. She was sad, nostalgic and all I wanted to do, was fly to Oregon to see her. I wish that I could be more available to her, right now. I try to call her and e-mail, frequently, but it isn't the same as an in-person visit.
As much as I am in my head about randomeness, sometimes I forget that other people experience the same listlessness that I have. They just don't talk about it, whereas I can be obsessive about it. I had a wonderful conversation with someone earlier in the week and realize that I am not alone. I do not need to move to an island, just yet.
I read this amazing post the other day and it has stayed with me. I even read it to Michaela while we were on the phone. This woman wrote a letter to her husband and it was beautiful.
I am still thinking about her honesty and understanding that is what love should be. It bothers me to see so many people settle, just to settle, as opposed to being alone. I have a friend that is beautiful, intelligent, capable and is involved with a selfish man. I hadn't seen him in awhile and last night he stopped into the bar. I asked him where his lady was--and he was like--I don't know, I thought she was still working. Really? You cannot even be considerate enough to know what she is doing or even imply that you care. He wanted to be aloof in front of everyone, but they live together and obviously have feelings for each other. But, I don't think it is enough. I think you should be passionate about that person--like you don't know where they you stop and they begin. You just are.
Settling is not an option. Why trade off your personal happiness for having someone in your life?
I have to return to work and so I will continue this randomness later...
2 comments:
I don't know why I posted that letter, other than I thought i was pretty, and I wanted to keep a permanent copy somewhere. I never thought it would affect other people in any way. It kind of took on a life of its own, creating ripples I never could have foreseen. But I'm glad I did, I'm glad you got something good for it. Everything happens for a reason. I really believe that.
I hate seeing people settle too, seeing people try so hard just to be disappointed over and over by someone. I think it's too hard for some people to be alone though, so they pair up with someone not so good just to avoid it. It took me a long, difficult time to learn that myself.
Scarlethue--
I completely agree that things happen for a reason, or better yet, that you meet people for a reason. You need something to learn or discover and suddenly you encounter someone that provides an opportunity to do that. I have been contemplating energy work, healing, the negativity/energy of the news, society, etc and found your blog after reading one that I found completely by chance. It affirmed that I am on the right path.
Regarding your words...wow, very profound and still with me, today. I am so glad that you felt comfortable with your love to share with everyone who finds your blog.
Yes, people set to be with someone. I don't know if I could ever do that, especially after knowing what love is. I had a fantastic life for 3 1/2 years. I was with someone that loved me, completely, for me and Brian taught me how to love. Yes, he was my boyfriend, but so much more...That term seems to minimize our feelings for each other, but we weren't married in the conventional sense.
Keep living, enjoying and being. I look forward to reading more of your blog and comments.
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