Saturday, June 13, 2009

Back to reality

I am heading to work and there is a lot that I reflected on while driving back to Denver.
First and foremost, when I think of Lawrence, I think of going home. There is this amazing energy there, and I realize that that is where I became the person I am today. Or, I was able to embrace my identity there, build on it in Denver and continue to grow through traveling.
When I think of Salina, I cringe. I have no positive thoughts about school or high school. All I remember is rushing to get out. I couldn't wait to begin my life and definitely could not be there.
I wanted to go out of state for college, but knew that I couldn't afford it. I chose KU and it was a fantastic decision. I haven't been back since Michaela moved to Oregon. There were a few brief visits, with Brian, but never a way to truly appreciate it due to timing.
I walked into Free State on Wednesday and remembered it being home. The rest of my stay was filled with friends and beer. I had a fantastic time. Initially, my plan was to stay in Kansas City. I have a friend that I was looking forward to seeing, but his plans changed. I considered staying in Salina, but realized how foolish I was being. I knew there were restaurants that I could go to in Lawrence and of course, I wanted an oatmeal stout. I also knew that I was staying in Salina on Friday and so I wanted to limit it to one night. I have friends that live there and I knew they would offer to let me stay, but it was short notice and I didn't want to impose.
I spent last night in Salina and it was interesting. I saw the people that I wanted to see--Marideth, Jennifer, Marcee, Carol, Aron and Mitch. Mitch and I had been comunicating on facebook and so I wanted to meet up for at least one beer. Carol is my old boss and like a grandmother to me. I had dinner with her last night and it was enjoyable. I only wish that I had had more time to spend with her. It was important to me to meet up with these people and I was able to. I felt like I had little time and for that, I regret not being to manage it better.
I saw people that I hadn't seen in years and they hadn't changed. I approached a class mate of Jade's and said, hello, aren't you so and so? This girl looked at me and said--WHO ARE YOU?
I was taken aback and remembered how petty some people in Salina. I felt like I was back in high school and it was unpleasant. I am thankful for my time in Lawrence!
It's funny how some people change and others remain the exact same.....


scarlethue said...

Going home is always strange. Nothing there every really changes; the feeling of it, the people, they're all the same. But it makes us realize how much we've changed, ourselves.

I'm glad you had a good time and were able to see most of the people you wanted. it's important to stay connected!

harmony said...

thanks and I definitely agree.
I feel that it is important to stay connected and recognize the differences/choices we have made. Not that it is wrong, just different. I know that I wouldn't be happy there. I need more options...